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9 hours ago, TheNewMe2.0 said:

Positive: I get a half day today

So it's nice to get a half day. Although today's a weird day because I'm taking my clients mom to the hospital for her carpeltunel surgery. That'll be interesting. Hopefully no fireworks go off. My client is a real handful and you kind of can't take him anywhere without him doing something that pisses people off. Like we went hiking and he started beating a metal sign with a stick and almost hit me with the stick too then refused to leave unless I played tic tac toe with him which I didn't want to do so I refused. And he tells people what change to give him back when he buys things from them. My main concern is he'll talk at the laptop while we watch it in the waiting room together and disturb other people at the hospital. Yeah that's probably going to happen and I don't think I can make him stop. He won't stop when I tell him to he just keeps talking at the TV while it runs. Maybe I could tell him we're not watching unless he's quietly watching.

I smiled at the day

I accomplished fixing the fire alarm

I am grateful for the day, fire alarm, new battery, mom, ttt, fireworks, people, car, cold weather, calm,

God bless

 

Unfortunately we all have to work with difficult people sometimes, there isn't a lot we can do about it besides having patience.

Just hold on strong and don't let people 'get inside of your head'.

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@dasvira Thanks. I'm trying to only think positive thoughts about other people. Even if they don't always make that easy. I'll do my best not to think about them anymore than I have to in order to get by at work.

Positive: still trucking

With the new job I got that isn't giving me any hours so far, looking for new jobs and getting a new supervisor who I don't think I'm going to like. I've been really anxious and overwhelmed lately. So much so that I just feel like kind of dead and anxious all the time. It's really exhausting. My mom tried to give me a pep talk I guess and said to be tough and get through it until a new job appears. The job I already got was looking so good as I'm getting plenty of supervision hours, but now I'm not getting any client hours because I'm supposed to attract clients with my psych profile. And no one has responded to it yet. So I'm not exactly inspired by this job to think it's going to pan out and grant me any hours at all really. It'll probably just crash and burn from what I can tell so far. Yeah that's too bad. Anyways I have a few people contacting me about interviews so maybe I'll get a new job that'll give me hours.

I smiled at power strip

I accomplished yoga

I am grateful for power strip, yoga, charger, tv, roku, remotes, lamp, bible, ramen, don buri,

God bless

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10 hours ago, TheNewMe2.0 said:

@dasvira Thanks. I'm trying to only think positive thoughts about other people. Even if they don't always make that easy. I'll do my best not to think about them anymore than I have to in order to get by at work.

...

Keep on with the positive thinking! We can't know what is going on inside anyone else head, but our own. It is easier saying than doing, but the least we can do is try to be understanding and patient.

Most of the times you won't be able to help and show the the mistakes of your clients and coworkers. Actually, even comenting about it with them rarely ends well. You should do your best to remain calm and tolerant.

Avoid having fantasies that there will be any work in which you will not have any kind of problem with anyone. I know it is not the answer you want to hear, but (in my limited experience) most of the time it is wiser to just "suck it up".

Bellow is a passage of Marcus Aurelius that I find helpful when dealing with "difficult people":

"[1] (1) Say to yourself first thing in the morning: I shall meet with people who are meddling, ungrateful, violent, treacherous, envious, and unsociable. (2) They are subject to these faults because of their ignorance of what is good and bad. (3) But I have recognized the nature of the good and seen that it is the right, and the nature of the bad and seen that it is the wrong, and the nature of the wrongdoer himself, and seen that he is related to me, not because he has the same blood or seed, but because he shares in the same mind and portion of divinity. So I cannot be harmed by any of them, as no one will involve me in what is wrong. Nor can I be angry with my relative or hate him. (4) We were born for cooperation, like feet, like hands, like eyelids, like the rows of upper and lower teeth. (5) So to work against each other is contrary to nature; and resentment and rejection count as working against someone."

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@dasvira That was very wise of Marcus. Nice quote. Thanks for the good advice. It really isn't going to ever be a perfect no difficulties day at work and that's okay. I'll just keep doing my best to cooperate and get by with everyone in my life. Things have gotten a little better with the client.

Positive: I have a big jacket

Well. It's cold, but I have this big jacket. It's so big and warm that I'm apprehensive about wearing it because I might get too warm. Oh well. Anyways. My cravings have been kind of bad lately. I was fantasizing about calling a friend I used to do weed and games with and seeing if he'll play D2 with me. Not a good thought to have. I think it's partly due to my 1 year coming up. Maybe I'm getting nervous about it coming. Oh well, I'll do my best to endure. My mom okayed my idea to buy a bigger tv on black friday. So it looks like I'm going to be getting a 70" Vizio through walmarts website. This is going to be pretty nuts. I hope it's an improvement and I'm able to keep it without any issues. As long as it's an improvement I'll keep it and not return it. I'd always prefer to keep and use a thing than to return it. Well, this will be the biggest tv I've ever owned. It'll be pretty cool to watch my shows on there. I was pretty happy with my 40" and was ready to just continue on with that. But since my mom gave me the green light I guess I'm gonna give the 70" a shot. Maybe it'll be easier to read the subtitles on it.

I smiled at my big future tv

I accomplished texting sup

I am grateful for big future tv, jacket, sup, texting, cold, warm, black friday, walmart, 500$ tv, improvement, metamucil, generic metamucil

God bless

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Positive: Weekend, yay.

Phew. Made it through another week with a brutal ending. I got into my office for supervision and my boss was a total jerk to me followed by my new supervisor being a jerk too. It was a pretty crappy hour of my life and afterwards I just felt intense hatred for my boss and supervisor. It wasn't a good feeling. Then it extended to my mom and I was hating her too and wishing for those mean people to die and thinking about killing them. Yep, pretty normal night for someone who has to deal with this sort of abuse. I have a job interview Tuesday. I was thinking maybe I'll get the job and start next week. Quitting this week and skipping supervision would be so wonderful. Ah. A guy can dream. I don't even know if they'll be able to transfer my clients over. Maybe. Hopefully. They said they can do supervision for me so that's good. And the interviewer Kay seemed pretty nice. Well, nice enough anyways.

I smiled at the weekend

I accomplished eating yogurt

I am grateful for weekend, yogurt, kay, dreams, new job, quit job, good feeling, mom, surviving abuse, nice people,

God bless

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Positive: 2nd day off in a row.

Yeah. It feels good to get two days off in a row. I could feel my anxiety yesterday telling me I had to go back to work after just one day off. But then I was like, no I get Sunday off too because I started working a little less. Go me. I'm still getting 24-30 hours a week so it's not so bad. For therapists that's pretty normal hours more than that is like burning yourself out from what my boss says. I feel better getting two days off though. I really hope I get a job soon. I want to quit and stop having to deal with my mean management at my current job. It's been pretty rough lately dealing with them getting on my case everytime I have to interact with them. I'm planning on working out, walking, journaling, reading a book on Japanese customs that's pretty interesting, and of course watching a bunch of tv. My mom's going to be out most of the day working and visiting friends. So I'm gonna pretty much have a whole day by myself at the manor. I suppose I could try to hang out with my co worker and get lunch or something. But I've kind of had cold feet on doing so for some reason. Maybe I just feel like I want to get a new job before I see her so I'm not in such a bad place mentally. I dunno maybe it'd be good to go see her anyways just to hang out. I could go to costco to get milk and gas. Hm. Maybe I'll go do that before I get started on the tv. I don't think there's anything else we need. Maybe bananas. People coming to our garage sale were interested in my Flash doll but it's not for sale. Good to know I'm not the only one who likes this thing.

I smiled at flash doll

I accomplished eating yogurt

I am grateful for probiotics, flash doll, yogurt, rug we're keeping, yay warm feet on rug, hardwood floor, chairs, caning, jacket and long sleeve t shirt.

God bless

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24-30 hours work week seems great!

IMO many people just work compulsively (and others are forced long workdays by theirs employees). It is much, much better to work less, live more simply and be able to live life at a slower tempo than work like a ass but have no free time and be stressed all the time.

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@dasvira Yeah working less is good for me. 25 hours a week is considered full time for a therapist though.

Positive: 3 days off this week

I'm taking thursday off for xgiving so this week will be three days off because I'm not rescheduling on saturday. If the client wants to do friday evening we can but he never wants to reschedule and just cancels dead so whatever less hours for me this week. But at least I get an extra day off. I got my interview tomorrow. I hope it goes well. I'll try to remember to wear a dress shirt and my khakis. I gained too much weight to wear my slacks. I need to get bigger pants sometime if I ever have to wear formal clothes again for work that is. I'm almost through season six of the flash. It's about the same watching it through the second time. Hopefully I can keep going. If I can't I don't have much else I can do with my time due to my disorders.

I smiled at progress

I accomplished getting up

I am grateful for progress, waking, xgiving, thursday, saturday, client, slacks, jacket, flash, day off, interview

God bless

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Positive: I get to keep my rug.

Hooray. My giant blue and white rug is staying. Halleluja. It will help keep my feet warm for many a day to come. My mom had a potential buyer but they decided they didn't want it I think they said it was too dirty. Oh well, now I get to keep it. Mhm. I enjoy this rug, it's not only warm, but looks nice too. Now I've just got to put my 40" tv back on it. I'm planning to attempt to buy a 70" vizio tv on black friday sale at walmart. It's 478$ and it's UHD HDR 4k 2160p. So that's a major upgrade on my 1080p 40" vizio I have now. I decided not to go with a Samsung because I had several samsung phones and ended up not liking the company after a while. So I don't really want stuff from them even if it is the best reviewed in the tv world. There are OLED tv's now which are better looking as long as there's not too much sunlight in the room. But they're like 3-4x as much money. A 65" OLED vizio is 1500$. So I'm just sticking with the upgrade I can afford here. Plus they don't do well in sunlight so no daytime watching will be disturbed on weekends. Meh.

Gotta job interview today. Wish me luck. The company has 18 reviews at 4.1 stars average. Which is a really good rating for indeed. Most companies I see are 3 stars. The lady seemed nice on the phone, I hope I do well at the interview. I'll do my best and try to remember to print out and bring resume/references.

I masturbated again last night. Darn it. I think I was under the impression that quitting would be easy so when things get difficult I caved. So I'm going to try to be serious about enduring the discomfort of nofap. That means being okay with just laying there in bed with a boner for like 8 hours with sex on the brain and nofapping. That's pretty much what I've got to do to continue with it. Maybe I could try opening a journal on their website. But I kind of don't have time for two journals. I barely make time for this one.

I smiled at my rug

I accomplished cleaning dishes

I am grateful for rug, dishes, soap, glass tupperware, end table, lamp, bible, string, writing utensils, stand, tv

God bless

CC40BE8B-60B7-4D85-B3A6-B4A2EC68E7DC.jpeg

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