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Question of the week: What's your favourite quote?


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About Phoenixking

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  • Birthday 09/24/1990

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  1. Day 7. "The whizzing paintballs." I woke up thinking 'OMFGYES, today is paintball day!'. I could not think of anything else all day. I sat down a lot, ate, got my shit ready and it deliberately took my time. I didn't want to force my healing foot to do stuff it's not meant for yet. I taped it up, used bandages, got supersolid shoes used for mountaineering... I sat down a lot during the whole process just to make sure... And what happened? The entire thing paid off! I could walk briskly, run, slide, ... I wasn't fully mobile nor sprinting, but all of it was not as much of a handicap anymore! We won the first few games, I kept playing like crazy, ended up last and winner a lot without getting hit (super fucking proud). I love the competition, the tactics, the thrill of it all, ... It was interstellar! Everybody was so happy and grateful to me for taking the initiative. My Krav Maga friends, D&D-plays and improv folks all meshed well. Afterwards there were beers and burgers and I slept like a log. An amazing day was had. I also hit my head in the shower, fainted and lost my memory for a little bit. It's a weird, funny and graphic story. I feel like I need to turn this into a comedy skit. Warning graphic sexual content: Recent highlight: I kicked ass in the first 4 games of paintball, didn't get hit and was the last man standing a few times, despite the busted food and the knock on the head I'd gotten. Budget status: Paintball, burgers, beer, parking fees, ... Yesterday was kind of expensive. Lucky I'm getting my office paycheck soon, but there's also lots of insurance to pay suddenly. So I have to keep a tight reign on things for now. My one goal for the next 24h: Have a good D&D podcast sesh and try and clean up a little bit. It's a pig sty because of the busted foot, but still.
  2. I get that. I'm a very proud man when it comes to stuff like that. In my country there's a special position as an artist you can claim from the government. It's the easy way out because it's basically just getting unemployment money. But you have to prove you're doing artsy stuff 2/3 of your time. And all of the money you make from it you can keep, and that gets substracted from your monthly guaranteed income. I hate that it's what they use taxpayer's money for. If you're a good artist, your crowd will come. If you're smart, creative and apply yourself, you don't need a handout to survive on a monthly basis. I'm not able to live off my freelancing yet. So I have a part-time job doing office stuff. It's not glorious. But it makes me feel self-sufficient and productive. Don't be afraid in the future, if need be, to ask yourself if you need more money and should be looking for a temping thing or engineering part-time job or whatever. I want you to pursue your art. But I've been the stereotypical starving artist for 4 years. It's not healthy, there's no romance or grace in something like that and it's not smart. You're smart. Think ahead and budget your cashola ^^ you got this, dude!
  3. This is a véry mentally healthy things to say. Very mature, buddy. Not easy to come to this point.
  4. I'm a bit curious. What are the GCAA-meetings like?
  5. Day 3. "The busted foot." Work was pretty demanding. I no longer use my crutches. I can walk if I shift my weight and balance to the side and heel of my foot, it's the ball of my foot and my big toe that hurt. It looks weird when I walk and I go slowly, but it works. But today I had to be very physically active. I didn't hurt myself, at least not the part I was supposed to avoid. It's the other bits that are sore now... I now use my foot in a way that it's not used to. The muscles and sinews aren't used to me using them in a way that supports my full body weight. One of the managers suggested I find a phyiscal therapist, but I'm inclined to wait a bit. I just white knuckled it and promised myself not to move when I got home. Straight to the couch, ordered food, had a drink, watched a movie, had a nap and I'll see another movie or whatever. I let go of cooking, cleaning and doing laundry. If I aim to survive paintball tomorrow, I have to take it easy on the foot for now. If it's not better by the beginning of next week, I'll look for that therapist. I don't think that paintball is a great idea. But I'm a decent shot, tactician and commander. I just miss stuff like that from when I used to play games. I'm véry competitive too so it's hard for me to let go of wanting to paintball. And I organized the whole thing, so it's a bit hard to back down. Especially because I already paid a deposit. I promised myself to take pills with me, extra thick socks, supportive bandages, braces for my knees, an ice pack and to not be stupid. I've already made the mental click to allow myself to get hit instead of risking further injury. I just hope the organization doesn't mention anything. I'm terrified they'd forbid me from playing. I'd understand, sure. But I still really want to play. Recent highlight: I saw a movie called Kung Fu Hustle and drank some genuine sake. Budget status: I had 1 huge wrap delivered to me by bike. 15 bucks. Holy shit I need to stop using this takeout app... My one goal for the next 24h: Go paintballing (and thus push myself physically when I should be careful) but don't actually damage myself.
  6. "If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything." Or "Fall down 100 times. Get up 101 times."
  7. Day 2. "The gunshots." So the quiz last night was fun. Exciting and punishing, though. Very hard. We were aiming for top 5. We finished 3rd, 2nd, 7th and 6th in the past. But this time we finished 8. But this time there were 32 teams instead of 16 so I guess it was still a good performance. I'm rather competitive so that's totally a factor in my disappointment 😛 Work today was slow and tedious. My girlfriend came over pretty late last night, we talked a lot and I didn't get a lot of sleep. I was pretty 'meh' at work. Did get some good freelance stuff done in the few minutes between and got a potential voiceover gig. So fingers crossed! I went to an afterwork event with my girl. Slowly stole the show as I'm a good talker and networker. We even won a voucher for a free luxury breakfast at the hotel the event was at! Afterwards, I drove her home to pick up some stuff for tomorrow. She's going on a big walking tour and needed her big boots. I was waiting outside in the car when I heard the gunshots. I didn't really pick it up before or think anything of it. But there was some foreign dude screaming really loudly. I didn't even hear it until my music died down a bit in the car. It was coming from down the street, behind me. Some dude was yelling in pure anger, it was kind of scary but I stayed put. After all, I was safe in my car, right? There were other people nearby, kids, adults, BMX'ing teenagers, ... Suddenly I heard 3 distinct pop-pop-pop-sounds, like a gun firing. The people around me all suddenly started to move the other way, en masse. I figured I wouldn't take any chances and drove off and texted my girl to stay the hell inside. I wondered if I should call the cops. I called them and they arrived within minutes. I explained what happened, picked my girl up and drove off. Before I called the cops, she said something a bit worrying. She lives in an area with a lot of immigrants. What if they would rat me out? What if 'that white guy' or my car get recognized while I talk to the cops or what if people know it was me who called? Would the neighbourhood turn against me? Is it dangerous? I didn't care about any of that in the moment. You hear shots, you get your ass to safety and call the cops. Simple logic to me. But it's still rather worrying to me. She's going to have to return to there tomorrow. And I will too at some point. Recent highlight: My girl and I had a bit of a fight and she got me ice cream and we made up. Budget status: Nothing specific to note. I got a few extra days I'll be working so I'm making some extra bucks at the office. I'm not a rich man at the moment. But in a few months I'll have a nice amount saved. My one goal for the next 24h: Clean up my appartment.
  8. It's a véry healthy thing to be able to see that, let alone admit that to somebody else. Give yourself a tap on the shoulder for that 🙂 The next step is figuring out what things you could to do improve the situation. Dare to look in the mirror and ask yourself what you need or want and then the next step is figuring out how you'll arrange that. Bit by bit, bro. Slow and steady.
  9. Just maybe do 1 thing? Babysteps, mate. If you feel like making yourself a proper meal or some other mundane thing is a feat, then it is and you can at least feel like you did something proper with your time.
  10. Day 1. "The angry walk to the improv gig" I did a pretty stupid thing last night. I have a bit of an issue with my foot. A week or two ago, during a gig as an actor, a fighting scene went awry and my ligaments were hurt. I'm not supposed to use the foot for a while to let it heal. But I'm the worst at sitting still. I'm not sure if it's my personality, inclination to self-destruct, stubbornness, hunger for freedom or the fact that I derive my self-worth from my ability to do and achieve things rather that who I am and how I feel and why. But I was supposed to sit down and chill. Instead I had to go outside. I was anxious as fuck. I tried watching a good movie but nothing tickled my fancy. Books, writing, D&D, ... It all drove me crazy. I wanted to get out of the house, stop sitting down behind my computer. This was a very difficult moment because for the first time in a long while, I had the urge to play games again. There was an improv gig going on but no way to get there. Well, I could call a cab or use the public transportation. But I only had about 20 minutes to get there. No bike, 'cause my girl borrowed it. I lost my shit. Out of pure anger at the pain my foot felt, out of frustration and madness for being tied down by the damaged foot, I just hoofed it. I grabbed my crutch and my jacket and earbuds, blasted some Run The Jewels, and walked about a mile and a half. I hurt like a motherfucker and I probably shouldn't have done that. But the gig was fun and my girl showed up with the bike to help me get home safely without using the foot. Not my best move. But it did prove to me that I'm a bit of a warrior. And when life breaks your legs, you beat'm with your crutches. Recent highlight: The improv gig was funny as hell. Budget status: I really hate bill. I changed power distributor recently and it's so messy. I saves me about 150 bucks per month now. I'm just a bit scared stuff like this, because I don't know it very well, would bite me in the ass somehow because of some fine print in some contract. My one goal for the next 24h: Enjoy the geek quiz I'll be going to tonight.
  11. Well, there's still a bit of mess left in my lungs. I saw the doctor when I came back from Japan and while the infection, bacteria, jetlag or whatever the hell it was, cleared up; he also told me that I have an allergy to pollen, most likely. One of the ways it manifests, is with seeming asthma-attacks. I have a puffer now and some days are better than others. It's only mildly annoying. I also bruised some ligaments in my foot the other week but I'm down to using just 1 crutch instead of 2. I'm going paintballing this weekend, though :p so all in all, let's say I'm fine but it doesn't seem like I'm going to be taking it slower anytime soon :p
  12. I think this new way of handling things is a healthy step ;-) Keep at it! Just remember to be easy on yourself. No pressure. Babysteps. Get into this new way of doing things slowly.
  13. Relapse is relapse. Addiction is addiction. No matter what habit you're kicking, in my eyes. You are totally on, though. I've never had a detox-buddy before. Let's see if it changes the way we detox ^^
  14. Two things about this. First off, I'll be fine. I'm not scared because I chose this and I control this. I control what I spend, when and why. If I'm in actual trouble, there's enough money coming in to make sure I don't starve and my bills get paid. It'd be a boring couple of months, but I'd still be fine. Even if I'd get fired instantly, there's always some shitty job somewhere that'd cover my expenses. It's all about taking your financial health seriously and doing some preemptive math. There's a good reason why I keep track of my money for 2 minutes a day. It's worth it. Secondly, there is no amount of money that will alleviate fear. I went to a great info session a while back, meant for freelancers looking to get a bit more insight into financial security and mental issues derived from that. I really felt like I was well off, mentally. There were people there who had thousands in their savings and were still mortified to make the jump. Meanwhile I'm always dancing on the edge but I'm having a blast XD There were people there who were buying and selling huge patches of land for their (therapy)horse farms and who were juggling their entire life savings. But there were also people who had spent decades saving, toiling away at a boring office job. They had become véry well paid but had no true life joy because of it. They didn't want to leave their financial security to become a psychologist, working from their home office. If you think about it, it's ludicrous. So many different stories, ambitions, types of people, job choices and so many different amounts of money in their accounts. And in every single case, it was not the amount of money they had stashed away, it was how big they were making the gap they had to leap in their minds. That one really stuck with me. So as long as you're not being a dumb-ass with your cashola, you'll be fine. Do some math, look at your money, what you are willing to spend/invest and how much time you can chillax and use your money to cover the bill while you get your shit together and figure out your next step. You'll be fine. If you're on this forum, it means you're emotionally more awake then most.
  15. Yeah. The visit to the doctor was about 150 bucks just for talking to him. But I'm an informed dude. I know what pills I take and why, I already knew or had a strong idea what the diagnosis would be. But the dude didn't want to hear it. I paid 150 bucks to hear somebody say 'no' to me. He wanted to do a whole battery of tests that would have cost me 10,000 bucks! MRI, bloodwork, ... Sorry, but no. In the end, I had to take a couple of simple over the counter meds and after a few days and with some rest, I was okay. That doctor just felt like he was moneygrabbing and it's very unethical. I'm happy my girlfriend had my back and that her dad works in a hospital and she was able to figure out with some of those connections what was probably wrong with me and what the probable cure would be. I'm even more lucky that the hostel I was staying at had somebody working there who used to work in a hospital herself and was able to help me translate all of the names of the medications into the Japanese versions. All in all, I was just very lucky to be surrounded by capable people. Apart from it all, I'm still very, very, very much in love with Japan. I'm totally going back next year. Literally éverything about Japan and it's culture fascinates and tittelates me to no end.
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