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About BooksandTrees

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  1. Today was one great day. I successfully spent 1 hour playing drums, 1 hour drawing, and 1 hour reading. I exercised for 30 minutes and had an extremely productive day at work. I had a very wonderful night with my fiance and enjoyed the day. I am grateful and think it's because I stopped overthinking hobbies and just did it.
  2. I agree. Social media has really put and impact on amount of friends rather than quality of life and friendship. I kind of relate certain friends to when the main character of an anime visits a town for the first time in a while that they remember him or her for their heroism in the town. They don't necessarily keep writing to the hero for the rest of time. But the hero has companions who are always with them. Those are the real friends.
  3. Today's been better. I've been too tired to write here over the past few months just with how busy I've been. I promised @LostRiverI'd write a little more. Something I'm dealing with is socializing again. I think the pandemic was actually nice for me because I recall writing in 2020 and 2019 how I thought a lot of my friends provided surface level friendship and nothing deeper. Barely any of these people talked in the pandemic and now they're coming out of the woodwork asking to catch up. I have tried socializing a lot since July and I'm a little tired of it. At this point, I'm only going to see people I care about. There are some people trying to talk to me to catch up and I'm tired of it. The pandemic has given me the confidence to realize I can be fine on my own and with my fiancee. I don't need to keep seeing people or need to see people. It doesn't matter. A good example of this is I was the best man at one person's wedding. I was one of his only friends because he puts zero effort into friends. I hated everyone at the wedding except for a few people. I don't talk to any of them anymore. It feels wonderful. I've made it a point to stick to seeing about 5 friends and keep those friendships strong. The others are going to stay acquaintances. Another update is a finished reading 2 more books. I'm really enjoying this time to myself when I read. This one was about someone battling addiction and overcoming it. It felt very familiar to read their ups and downs.
  4. You might want to make a singular diary and post new days within your forum post. That way you can measure your progress and build your profile.
  5. Things are going a lot better. The director of my department was fired and I got a raise. I feel like we have a better department environment now and the work culture is better. I've made some recent progress with my cartoon, reading, and drumming hobbies. I haven't really felt like writing in here for months now. I think I've been so burnt out from the house and job that I just kind of relax after work and zone out when I can. I spent the past few months doing something around the house after work and just the past 2 weeks I've finally gained some freedom. This newfound freedom is really helping me spend time on hobbies. I've been able to drum to random songs. I'm not trying to master any songs in particular. I just want to get better at understanding the music so I can just play songs on my spotify list. My cartoon had been stagnant for 6 months but I drew a background the other day and only need 5 more drawn. I've also been reading a great book about overcoming addiction when it's ruined someone's life. Very powerful book.
  6. Welcome to the forums. There's a lot to unpack in your post, not just for the readers, but for yourself as well. Shame is probably the strongest emotion in the world and can lead to both good and bad reactions. Coming here was a good reaction. Beating yourself up over addiction is a bad reaction. Keep that in mind. It sounds obvious but it's easy to look past how we care for ourselves. For hobbies you should find out why you're playing video games in the first place. What are you looking for when you play? Then find replacement activities. You could yearn for social interaction, progression in something measurable, competitive environments, etc. When you crave a game, welcome the craving and pretend it's your stomach craving dinner. Sure, you could eat candy bars, but you'd feel like shit. If you ate a balanced meal then you'd feel better and be full longer with fewer cravings. Try to use that anecdote for game cravings. A balanced life reduces cravings. You'll never escape cravings just like you'll never escape hunger.
  7. I find it interesting that you've highlighted another addiction and am proud of you for that. My second addiction was porn and that's been harder to quit than gaming even though I'd only watch for a few minutes compared to hours on end. I think gaming is like a longterm drug that is a gateway addiction to other addictions due to the need for instant gratification from games being so taxing on our dopamine levels.
  8. Great posts. I agree with what you said that I said about hobbies not being work lol. I just had a breakthrough of my own with hobbies and finding a process I enjoy. I think it's easy to find something we're interested in but the hobby needs to progress with the path of least resistance for it to flow well. We get caught up being so linear in progression. An example of this is I've been playing the drums to absolutely random songs I find and read the tabs twice while playing, then move onto another song. I hit bored perfecting like 4 songs.
  9. You doing ok? Sorry about the girlfriend situation.
  10. Thanks. I'm feeling better and less burnt out. I'm still burnt out but I feel capable instead of frozen.
  11. Thanks for the responses everyone. I've once again been away doing a ton of house stuff, work projects, and much more. I interviewed for a new job and didn't get it. I wasn't really interested in it and they could tell. I've taken a lot of time to do nothing and embrace boredom actually. Last week I finished all my projects at work and a ton of stuff at home. I just wanted to take some time this weekend to recharge, reset, and do nothing. I ended up using the whole weekend for this. No goals, no hobbies, no checklists. I exercised, cleaned, self care, read, cook, spend time with my fiancee, and sleep. I feel a lot better. I am having a conversation with my boss Monday about how he snaps and says mean things abs we'll see how it goes. I haven't written on here in weeks because it just feels like work. Even writing now feels like work. I think that means I'm busy as hell and need to relax. So I'll continue this. I haven't over eaten in weeks since that post. I've taken time to draw, stretch, relax, and accept the situation a little.
  12. I had a week off from work and had a lot of fun with family and friends. I got a lot of stuff done on my house and did hobbies. I went back to work and instantly got depressed and stress ate even when I wasn't hungry. I gave up gaming and porn and now it's food. Right when I get stressed I March to the kitchen. I've bought tons of healthier food, but even if it's healthy, consuming extra calories is still gonna hit. I need some sort of activity that I can do when I'm anxious or fidgety. I considered gum but I'm concerned how it'd impact my teeth. Maybe hand grips or something?
  13. Thank you very much! I'll be in touch on your journal soon. Sorry for being away and great hearing from you.
  14. Welcome to the forums. You're doing a great job and the first thing I need you to do is take a few deep breaths and be in the moment. There's a lot of anxiety and potential panic tones coming from your writing. That's ok. You're doing a good job. You've got this. I suggest writing about your cravings and what's causing you to panic. One of the toughest parts is dealing with boredom. It's ok to be bored. It's very restorative to the mind during periods of burnout and stress. I wrote a long piece in the celebrations forum called 500 days without gaming. I recommend reading that. Be your own friend. You've got this.