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About BooksandTrees

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  1. I stayed strong. It's the first clean day in months for me. I couldn't fall asleep but I did some breathing exercises and appreciated my apartment and stuff to get in a better mood. I'm very tired today but grateful.
  2. You never know. Dermatologists could find something, it might just take time. And maybe you will find something to replace tv like you replaced video games. Like books or something.
  3. I'm having a tremendous amount of anxiety tonight and I really want to spend time masturbating to relieve it. I'm not though. I'm trying to understand why I'm anxious. I don't want to ruin my sleep so I'm worried every minute going by is bad. I worry about doing my project tomorrow. I also worry about things not going well with the women I've connected with on my dating site. I got one phone number already and close to a second. I feel very positive about these women. They're both my type yet very unique and intelligent. I'm extremely attracted to one of them. I just don't want to
  4. That's true. I just would like to have some patience and be able to say no to porn and just be hopeful for dates etc. I still think the masturbation is just such a plethora of reasons to it. It's loneliness, sexual desire, tiredness, frustration, anxiety, etc. I think dealing with loneliness will help but also being physically active again will help with some pent up energy dissipation. I notice the touch too. If I get a girlfriend I won't be over the top about it, but I will keep a hand on them in private moments and emphasize my emotional connection with them to let them know. I think
  5. I think it means you should be on the lookout for tools to solve these problems. God might not solve them for you, but will assist you.
  6. The moon is tremendously bright tonight. It's lightning up the sky like it's daylight. It's calming and promotes clairvoyance in my mind. I've become so consumed by masturbation that it's really bothering me. I have all of these creative ideas in my head for hobbies and stuff. The drums and workout equipment are coming and I frankly can't wait. I'm just so frustrated by my obsession with sex. I want to have sex so badly. It's been over 10 years. I'm sexually deprived in so many invisible ways. I'm embarrassed and afraid that I'll meet a woman who will be put off by my lack of exper
  7. I've had a situation like this before. First, you did the right thing in recognizing that they're similar to your father and rationalizing your emotions. Second, you did the right thing communicating issues to them and asking for new supervisors. Now, if I were in your situation I would continue to collect evidence of his behavior not changing whether it's emails or just tasks on specific projects, etc. Then I would eventually go to human resources or upper management to discuss the issue. But... Before you do this, how detrimental is his behavior to your work situation? Is it
  8. Congrats on reaching the 1 year milestone. I'm happy that you have made it to this point and feel good about it. We might not ever have the perfect life, but I don't think there is such thing as perfection in humanity. There's a reason we're constantly evolving, inventing things, and changing. We just gotta stay strong and remain honest with that fact. Keep up the good work. You're definitely in a much better place now than you were last year. Even if you read your original posts you can see a vast difference in behavior.
  9. Have you considered how these 3 could be related? I know I have more intense dreams when I'm mentally overwhelmed or exhausted and my mind is trying to recover.
  10. Is this something you plan on exploring? Such as short term relationships or FWB situations?
  11. Today I'm 109 weeks free from games. I'm still struggling with sleep but I decided to take a few steps. I joined an authentic dating service that avoids trendy dating app methods. I feel more comfortable here and already matched with some more attractive women than on the other apps. I'll remain patient and hopeful this time. I ordered exercise equipment finally. That comes in the mail in 2-3 weeks. My drums should arrive soon as well. I'm excited for these hobbies to finally take form. I've been a little bored and my mind has been drifting a bit with bingeing shows etc. I think the physi
  12. I'm annoyed with myself for ruining my sleep schedule. I did it because I was trying a certain masturbation technique that lasts for a few hours and I don't think I like it. I'm just annoyed in general. 4 day weekend just 2 days away at least.
  13. Seems like you're on your way. Keep it up! Welcome to the forums.