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About Icandothis

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  1. I hope you get some good sleep and enjoy your comic book training tomorrow. Sending energy. Have a beautiful day my friend. 💙
  2. The cherry blossom trees are so beautiful right now in Portland. I hope they bring you peace during this time. 💙
  3. I don’t know what to say... This past week and a half has turned my world upside down. A devastating diagnosis, fear, deep depression and sadness. Of all the dreams I had written about in my journal, I never thought my journey would take me here. I will be starting my own blog over at the American Cancer Society. From my brief preview they have chats and posting just like here. My whole world has cracked open again. But I am deeply reminded of the legacy I want to leave on this earth. The prayer of the Bodhisattva; to help ease suffering of all sentient beings. As had been said to me by so many doctors, nurses, medical staff, volunteers and friends.... “ there are no words...” Thank you deeply for listening. I hope you have some joy today.
  4. I read an article off NPR, I will try to find the link. Basically stating that societies don’t put in place measures to stop the spread of the disease until its too late. I find it very interesting that Japans numbers are not higher. Take care
  5. Very quiet this morning. Yesterday, I was in the middle of writing a long post when my son woke up... so I deleted it. This morning, I actually for a minute forgot what I wrote. Thoughts change, emotions are temporary. I have been turning inward, turning in, really listening to my body, God, and highest self. Psalm 56:3 - when I am afraid I put my trust in you. Thank you for being here.
  6. So amazing. You have a beautiful spirit and heart. Thank you for sharing your story.
  7. I went to therapy today. I cried. It’s so important to have a safe place to fully be seen, heard and express ourselves. We don’t heal in isolation; we heal in community. Have a beautiful day my friends.
  8. @Cam Adair @James Good Thank you for this community.... and thank you for making it open, accessible and inclusive to everyone. We heal within community and this forum has played a huge role. So thank you... deeply.
  9. You define your life. Whatever someone thinks about you is a reflection of them and not you. Rejection is only a story the ego comes up with. Have a beautiful day my friend.
  10. Hi- Wow thank you for sharing. I would like to watch the movie now, as it seems to illuminate relationship dynamics so well. I am so sorry for your pain. Childhood trauma and neglect are pervasive and affect the way we engage in all our relationships. You were not able to cry as a child, because of neglect and it’s absolutely devastating. You wear a mask because this is what you have to do to survive. But it’s ok. Ok to cry and feel whatever emotion comes up. Everything you feel is valid and needs to be fully expressed. I see you my friend.
  11. Hi- Well awesome. The corona virus is at the schools here. It’s big and scary... and puts everything to the test. Also, I have been meaning to write this... so now is as good a time as any... I put my faith in God and trust and surrender. Only by being grounded do I feel like I can face mountains. So I have been getting frustrated lately. And angry. Why is everything taking so long. And then I realize the timing of everything. I started gaming when my first two kiddos started school. I played pretty much constantly until I got pregnant with my baby. When I found out I was pregnant, I cut way back. But still played all the way thru his birth and then young infant stage. It’s actually pretty amazing how much babies sleep. Anyways when I joined GQ, my baby was leaving his infant stage and begging to walk everywhere. I quite literally did not have time to game anymore. I am so thankful I embarked upon this journey when I did as now, I am chasing around my energizer bunny toddler. My days are so full. Getting up early in the morning to make breakfast and lunches. Sending 2 older ones off to school. Preparing breakfast for my little. And then off to our morning outing. Then lunch and then getting him down for a nap. Then it’s light cleaning and chores. ***I have only about 30 minutes to focus on career related items****. My older 2 get home at 2pm. Snack time and holding space for them. Quality time and asking about their day. Little one gets up, afternoon activity. Dinner, homework, showers. Then the nighttime routine for all 3 of them. So even though it looks like I am not moving forward.... my days are filled with joy and love. This is going to be a journey for me... and I am determined not to rush.. but let it all unfold. And after my months job search, my intuition is telling me that my path is towards the healing modalities. Massage, energy medicine, acupuncture, sound therapy. This is what makes my soul feel alive and what I believe my calling is. Thank you much for listening my friends.
  12. In reflection: I have spent years numbing and hiding. As I now show up into the world, I am noticing myself getting angry at people. This anger comes from within. My new commitment is to ground myself every morning in peace and stillness. During the day I will practice self awareness and compassion. This picture is a brief summary that helps me. Thank you for listening.
  13. On cold showers. I have completed my 20 day challenge. I am proud of myself for the commitment and courage to finish. I will continue taking a cold shower following my warm shower as this is very easy to do and does not take a lot of time. But most of all I kept a promise I made to myself.
  14. My current feelings towards life
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