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Everything posted by BooksandTrees

  1. I had a good meeting with my therapist today about how the medication I've been taking for depression and anxiety has really impacted me in a positive way. I rarely crave video games, I watch porn maybe twice per week or once per week tops, sometimes none at all for weeks. I just think this medication has helped me get to a point where I'm no longer ruminating and being consumed by anxious thoughts. This is important because I've already taken so many steps to developing coping mechanisms for stress and dealing with my triggers. Now that I'm no longer on an 8 out of 10 stress level I can
  2. May I ask if you're seeing a therapist? I forgot if you mentioned that. Congrats on dating this girl for 6 months. How is the experience vs dating your ex boyfriend? It's got to be strange or at least interesting? How is it impacting your life? I could reply to a lot of stuff you posted but I'd be here too long and it wouldn't make an impact. I think you should come back to the forums more often and write smaller posts over time after you get everything out of your system. It seems like holding everything inside has really taken its toll on you and burned you out. It might help you deal w
  3. Why are your texts so difficult to read lol? I was trying to catch up on your diary after my studying and the whole page 5 is white highlighted and this is very stark on page 6. What are these dreams and goals you've set for yourself?
  4. Find ways to deal with this. It's easy to give up and game again. Read your old posts and realize how unhappy you were. I suggest scheduling time for yourself to relax and reduce burnout, but also see if you're living life in a way to create sustainable balance such as consistent eating, sleeping, and working hours. Is there a meetup group or something you can do with others? Do you have a way to interact with clients? Family board game activities?
  5. Good luck on your finals and happy V-E day to you too. Stay strong and keep the pace.
  6. Today I hit 132 weeks free from gaming. I have some digestive issues today from allergies and stress I think. I normally have extreme anxiety over this but I'm trying to remain calm and relax at my girlfriend's house. She's taking care of me and being very calm and letting me do my thing. It's very nice and I'm extremely grateful. Irritable bowel syndrome is very frustrating but I'm feeling better than I did 3 hours ago. Work is going well and life has been getting better. I've also lost 3 lbs which is nice.
  7. Welcome to the forums! Keep on this journey and keep journaling. Good luck!
  8. I've found myself facing the same boredom after my studying has ended that I had when I quit video games. It's like my mind craves the feeling of processing information. I compare it to quitting video games because I remember feeling like it was bad to feel bored or not being busy. It's important to relax and zone out to recharge your mind. Even right now I'm writing because I was a little anxious from feeling bored. It's ok to be bored at times. Not all of the time, but sometimes.
  9. A few people have done this because they're addicted to YouTube, porn, reddit etc on top of just games. You can buy the regular phones still. Just not sure how they're doing now with it.
  10. This past weekend I hit 131 weeks free from gaming. Sorry for the scare lol. @Ikar thanks for checking in. I was just away. I feel relieved after taking that test. It was really stressful but my girlfriend was incredibly supportive of me and made sure I was ok by throwing a small celebration for me and then taking care of things. I feel so much better overall. I don't think I passed the test but maybe I did. I feel much better than last time I took the test. I also made some big progress on stuff at work so things are getting better. I'm gonna be doing drums on mondays, animation on frida
  11. I don't mean to be an asshole, but I think it's time to withdraw from this energy and spiritual concept. It seems to be forcing your hand and guiding you into mental states that appear to be out of your control. I think you should take control of your situation and conceive concrete ways to maintain your grasp on your life and own it. If this job sucks then quit working there. There are so many other jobs out there. You could even be a therapist online or go into the research side of it instead of dealing with clients. Keep exploring new avenues. Whatever you do, do not commit suic
  12. Today I hit 129 weeks free from gaming. I've hit the final week before my exam. It's now just 6 days away. I have followed my study plan to a tee for the most part. I don't know if it will work but I am optimistic and believe this is the most prepared I've ever been. I will take today off to relax, do 12 problems or so tomorrow and read my notes, then do a practice exam Monday, take Tuesday off/organize my notes, do a practice exam on Wednesday, take Thursday off/organize my notes, then Friday is the exam. If it doesn't work I'll take a year off rather than just 6 months. I don't want bur
  13. I agree. One of my goals, and I know it has been your goal as well, on this website/journey has been to really diversify my life with hobbies, in-person connections, and a change in my mood overall with the outside world over the virtual world. I think it has really become prevalent with my girlfriend being in my life and the introduction to so many new hobbies.
  14. I hit 128 weeks last weekend. I'm pretty stressed by this exam. I got very depressed about it last week and some other stuff but I rebounded. I also went on a higher dose of my antidepressant. I was on the lowest dosage for 6 months but figured I needed to go higher for a couple months. My girlfriend and family have been very supportive. I'm extremely grateful for her and her love and support. I used to be afraid of having a girlfriend ruining the exam for me, but she has helped tenfold. I have about 9 days until the exam and I've never been more ready. I'm going to do 3 more pract
  15. I hit 127 weeks without gaming this weekend. I have been extremely busy and haven't had time to really write in here. That will change in a month though so I'm looking forward to that. Had a bad day today but dealt with the stress well and will rebound tomorrow. I had tremendous support from my girlfriend and resolved some issues with people bothering me.
  16. It's actually a healthy food. I'm just allergic to an ingredient. I've been back on my healthy diet the past 2 weeks and lost 3 lbs.
  17. I've been having some stress tonight and the past few months from this test and work. I ran out of certain food tonight and had some granola bars with coconut and pumpkin seeds remaining. I was nervous about eating them because I wasn't sure if I was allergic. I ate one bar and nothing happened and it tasted good, so I had another. About 10 minutes later I had severe heartburn beyond belief. It has been about 25 minutes now and I know I'm allergic to something in it. I took acid reflux pills and allergic meds. It hurts so badly. I'm utterly miserable right now. It is awful. I'm so mad at
  18. This past weekend I hit 126 weeks free from gaming. I studied a lot and had a great weekend with my girlfriend. It was very restorative and helpful for me. I am very grateful for her. Today I had a good half of the work day but lost steam after lunch. I rebounded by avoiding the urge to eat ice cream, I did my workouts, had a healthy dinner, bathed, and then studied for 2 hours. I'm doing much better than last year with studying. I'm almost done with the second half of studying nearly 1 month from the test. Last year I finished 1 day before the test. I'm very proud of myself although I've
  19. I'm very disappointed in my diet the past half year. I snack too much and can't say no to sweets. I've got to get this under control. I also want to be more productive at work but it's a struggle with exam burnout. I'm extremely grateful for my girlfriend and thank God for her every day.
  20. Thank you. Let me know how your reflection on hair pulling goes.
  21. I'm facing extreme anxiety over this exam again. The smartest person I know said they studied for 6 months straight 1-2 hours a day. I didn't have that method and I already failed last fall even though I barely failed. I just feel so underprepared. I've been studying for a little over a month now and I'm making great progress overall. I just can't put this fear of failure behind me. I hate that my profession requires this. It angers me so much. I'm so far out of school and just so tired of this. I keep taking naps during the day, not sleeping and more. I've decided to exercise instead of
  22. I had an unproductive day today because I once again thought about studying during the day and the tasks for work and got overwhelmed. I will stop doing that. I'm on the home stretch here and can finish a big portion of studying this weekend. I have to be patient and calm with myself. Therapy was good today and I am very excited to see my girlfriend tomorrow. I'm always extremely grateful to be able to say that after my decades of struggling romantically. Things aren't so bad as they seem when I panic. I just get upset if I miss a day of studying or something. I've got this.