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About DaBest

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  1. Day 277 No VG - 277 days, no sports news - 8 days, NF - 3 days, SOB - 3 days, NNO59 - 3 days, NIA1030 - 2 day, NLAF - 3 days, NSOC - 3 days, Meditation - 0 days, No Internet Saturdays - 0 week, Post-It Weekends - 1 week. @Ikar, yeah, it's surprisingly effective at cutting through anxiety and actually just being a more effective person. I also find it becomes easier to handle difficult stuff earlier in the day when I'm fresh. I hope it works for you, too. --- Work up and down. Got distracted a lot by other people. I'm close to the point where I can start hiding in my inner sanctum that I moved to where I can do focused work. Right now I've just had a ton of physical papers to handle, which is far easier to do at my desk. Also, found less of a need for an internet fix tonight. That's nice. Habits are starting to come back into place.
  2. Day 276 No VG - 276 days, no sports news - 7 days, NF - 2 days, SOB - 2 days, NNO59 - 2 days, NIA1030 - 1 day, NLAF - 2 days, NSOC - 2 days, Meditation - 0 days, No Internet Saturdays - 0 week, Post-It Weekends - 1 week. @Erik2.0, yeah man, books are good. It's interesting how I read more when I spend less time on the internet. @BooksandTrees, it's not so much needing to find new hobbies--I have them--it's just the anxiety from not having my crutch. Keeping busy. being with others, and getting outside of my apartment are the best things for me on the weekends. @Amphibian220, haha, the beginning of all my posts are jibberish. Here's a breakdown for those who are curious: No VG - no video games No sports news - not sure why this isn't abbreviated, lol NF - No Fap SOB - Straight Outta Bed (which can be an SOB). Goal here is up after one alarm. In the past I would spend up to an hour in bed with multiple alarms. Dumb. NNO59 - No News Outside of 5 to 9. Regulating internet consumption, especially at work. NIA1030 - No Internet after 1030. Game Quitters, and phone music/podcasts excepted. NLAF - No Laptop and Food. Eating while internetting is a bad combo for me. Sets me in a loop of YouTube, food, Youtube, etc. NSOC - No Sleeping on Couch. Bad sleep hygiene, and leaves visible drool stains. Meditation - straightforward. No Internet Saturdays (soon to be NIS) - self-explanatory. Work and social event directions excepted. Post-It Weekends (soon to be PIW) - writing a post-it note of what I feel most anxious about each weekend morning, and attacking that first thing to start my day. Provides a nice sense of accomplishment, responsibility, and calms my anxiety to a more manageable level. --- And I still have to write a post. Weekend was up-and-down. Friday was bad. Porn. Dumb. Saturday started well. The post-it thing actually got my day started well. Hit the library and paid my rent, and I started prepping for salsa dancing early. Was very tired from the night before. Napped while I did laundry. Did not go salsa dancing due to irrational thoughts about how I was dressing. Talked about that ad nauseam with my therapist today. I automatically assume a lot of what other people will think and I have an intense desire to be liked by everyone/not hated. Went on an internet binge to cap the night. Sunday went better. Got to a full improv practice for the first time in forever and I really enjoyed the practice. My team has a new coach who I've worked with before, and am very happy to have them around. The best show I was ever a part of was from one of her classes, and a lot of the people from that class are now a part of our team. We're all pretty stoked. Ran some errands after. Was on internet late, but not a repeat of Friday. Today was a good day of work. Holy shit, I said it. Truth. Pretty calm. Got a lot done, even with some messing around. The post-it thing works wonders for my productivity and anxiety. God bless Tim Ferriss. Had aforementioned therapy after. Got home and did some chores. Place is a bit of a mess and I'm going to have to chip away at it. This weekend, which may start early this week if I take a few days off, the big thing to change will be getting the sleep schedule corrected. That was a big contributing factor to this weekend. Also, not removing sites from my block list. I didn't even notice right away. Speaking of sleep, goodnight.
  3. Day 273 No VG - 273 days, no sports news - 4 days, NF - 0 days, SOB - 4 days, NNO59 - 4 days, NIA1030 - 4 days, NLAF - 4 days, NSOC - 1 day, Meditation - 0 day, No Internet Saturdays - 1 week, Post-It Saturdays (NA). Worried about not having internet tomorrow. I don't have to go to work. I went on a little bit of a binge just now to get my fix in. I'm gonna write my Post-it in the morning and make plans to fill the void.
  4. Day 272 No VG - 272 days, no sports news - 3 days, NF - 4 day, SOB - 3 days, NNO59 - 3 days, NIA1030 - 3 days, NLAF - 3 days, NSOC - 0 days, Meditation - 0 day, No Internet Saturdays - 1 week, Post-It Saturdays (NA). Fell asleep pretty quick after I turned off my computer. Work work work. Looking for a internet fix. I'm going to turn this off after this. Kinda tired and not wordy today.
  5. Day 271 No VG - 271 days, no sports news - 2 days, NF - 3 day, SOB - 2 days, NNO59 - 2 days, NIA1030 - 2 days, NLAF - 2 days, NSOC - 1 days, Meditation - 1 day, No Internet Saturdays - 1 week, Post-It Saturdays (NA). Not much to talk about today. At work for twelve hours and I'm done with my last bit of hands-on testing. Tired.
  6. Day 270 No VG - 270 days, no sports news - 1 days, NF - 2 day, SOB - 1 days, NNO59 - 1 days, NIA1030 - 1 days, NLAF - 1 days, NSOC - 0 days, Meditation - 0 days, No Internet Saturdays - 1 week, Post-It Saturdays (NA). @Erik2.0 and @BooksandTrees, I hear you both. I already told my boss I'm taking off on the thirtieth and probably thirty first if I have nothing important to do at work on those days. Until then, it's crunch time. --- Work. Got a bunch of important stuff done today. Felt effective. Felt good. Little stressed about the next week or so, but I'm just going to focus on what's in my control and not what's outside of my control. Chilled when I got home. I'm tired.
  7. Day 269 No VG - 269 days, no sports news - 0 days, NF - 1 day, SOB - 0 days, NNO59 - 0 days, NIA1030 - 0 days, NLAF - 0 days, NSOC - 0 days, Meditation - 0 days, No Internet Saturdays - 1 week, Post-It Saturdays (NA). Well, it's been a weird 72 hours. I was at work on Saturday and Sunday until 10 PM on both nights. I spent 70+ hours at work last week. Chores went by the wayside. Habits ^^^ went by the wayside. Oof. Work has been nuts. I finally finished with my contractors but now I need to test everything they've modified. I have to go to work later today, but I took the morning off mentally and physically to recoup, and I'm cleaning the heck out of my apartment and cooking before I do anything. I'm so excited I'm finally doing laundry, which is a weird statement to make, but very true. I messed up big time with habits in the last twelve hours or so. Fell asleep on the couch after going on the comp once I got home. Woke up unrested and early. Went on the computer in bed, searching for a fix. I'm nearly through the thick of it. I can see the light at work. January 30th, I can finally take a day off. Despite the lapsed habits, I've been surprisingly resilient and not panicked. I'm a little stressed, but I'm more confident I can handle it. Also, no internet Saturday went really well since I was working the whole time. Didn't do the Post-It thing because there was only one glaringly large thing I needed to handle. Big lessons from all this: 1) When I work crazy weeks like this, I need to be more cognizant of my habits, which serve to help me and make my life easier. The urge to cave and numb myself is illogical. Usually, that's just the desire for sleep talking, and manifesting in different ways. 2) This year I will need to be much more strategic when I work in order to prevent the same from happening next year. This has been a good experience, but I don't want to continue having the same experience over and over. I need to 10X my impact for the same level of work by working smarter and not harder. --- Also want to note I'm not kicking myself over the habits. I made a mistake and the habits have made my life better for the most part.
  8. Day 266 No VG - 266 days, no sports news - 1 day, NF - 5 days, SOB - 47 days, NNO59 - 15 days, NIA1030 - 12 days, NLAF - 20 days, NSOC - 19 days, Meditation - 18 days, will do after this. [No Internet Saturdays, Post-It Weekends] Was at work for a long time today. I am very grateful for the support I got from a couple of different engineering/support groups today. Despite how shit the job can be sometimes, I really enjoy a lot of the people I work with. Also, the manager of one of those groups started openly bribing me for a senior position in an area I have far less background then some of his "junior" position holders. Ego boosting. Yay. Will probably not go that route though for a whole host of reasons. I have to go in tomorrow, and possibly Sunday and Monday too. Just need to get through January and I'm free. I'm crazy tired. I'm also freaking out about tomorrow and my no internet day (with the exception of work things). Work should make this easier. I feel almost like I need to get my fix in tonight. Oh, and I had a weird dream last night where my father said something to me, I ran away, got super drunk, and started crying. I don't remember dreams all to often, but it kinda sucks that the ones I've been remembering recently are all negative. I would like to start a dream journal at some point. That helps recall a lot. I'm rambling. Blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
  9. Hm, that's interesting. It makes me think of a blog called The Minimalists that I used to read a while back. They had an exercise where one puts literally everything in their house in boxes, and see how much actually gets used within the next month or something like that. It's supposed to make someone realize how much crap they have in their house that they don't need or use. Maybe try that with your PC. Box it up. Give it to someone to hold for a bit if you can, and see what happens. There's little risk to that. If you enjoy it, you can extend and get rid of it altogether. If you hate it, then you can take it back. It would be nice too since it gives you the breathing room to focus on changing your habits. It's hard to give up meth when one's home is full of meth.
  10. Day 265 No VG - 265 days, no sports news - 0 days, NF - 4 days, SOB - 46 days, NNO59 - 14 days, NIA1030 - 11 days, NLAF - 19 days, NSOC - 18 days, Meditation - 17 days, will do after this. [No Internet Saturdays, Post-It Weekends] Haha, thank you both @BooksandTrees and @Erik2.0. I'm in work mode right now. I've taken on a lot of responsibility, and I just have to push through this month. --- Work, work, work. Contractors were able to catch up with the workload despite some unfortunate delays. I'm happy. Other things are delayed too. I need to work this weekend to do testing. Just counting the days til February. I'm tired and ready for bed.
  11. Day 264 No VG - 264 days, no sports news - 8 days, NF - 3 days, SOB - 45 days, NNO59 - 13 days, NIA1030 - 10 days, NLAF - 18 days, NSOC - 17 days, Meditation - 16 days, will do after this. [No Internet Saturdays, Post-It Weekends] Yeah, @Ikar, I agree with you. By shifting the locus of the blame onto someone else, it's almost implicit that one accepts the fact that the locus of control is on someone else, and that they lack the tools to handle their own problems. I don't blame my parents for where I'm at. Did they have an effect on my life--obviously. Whose responsibility is it once I realize I can do something about it--mine, and mine only. Even if one's parents are Satan-spawn, there's not much value in assigning blame beyond what's rational and real. --- Work stuff. There's so much going on right now, unless I feel really stressed, I don't feel like talking about it. Went to a networking thing after work for the first time in a long time. I was happy I went for a bit. Didn't feel too stressed, and made some good contacts that may have immediate dividends. Just chilling for a few minutes and going to bed early tonight. Super sleep deprived. Fudge.
  12. Nah, I'm in...America. It's good, man. You'll have a lot of free time and mental bandwidth suddenly opened.
  13. Day 263 No VG - 263 days, no sports news - 7 days, NF - 2 days, SOB - 44 days, NNO59 - 12 days, NIA1030 - 9 days, NLAF - 17 days, NSOC - 16 days, Meditation - 15 days, will do after this. [No Internet Saturdays, Post-It Weekends] Work. Physical therapy, too. Was actually kind of interesting to realize a PT book I picked up at the library for my back issues was one my PT bought for herself the other. I really respect her. She's incredibly open-minded and problem-solving oriented. Got home, have been doing some chores. Need to get up super early again. Really tired. Need bed.
  14. As a recovering sports nerd, I can personally attest that a lot of people invest too much of their identity in sports teams, for various reasons. If one isn't on the team, there's no sense in acting like one's the owner. I was guilty of this for many years, and was a huge crutch and escape for me during my childhood when things sucked. Because I couldn't be happy, I could let myself feel good as long as X sports team was winning and feeling good. Ironically, there's a coworker I work with who is a borderline religious Red Sox fan. I used to be his level a long time ago, and we're friends, so I love to push his buttons because I know how to do so easily. I cannot wait to see him next to ask him how many years he thinks Alex Cora is gonna get banned from baseball. I have no horse in this race anymore, but I just want to watch him die on the inside just a little bit 🙂 If you do end up walking away, it's going to be hard and there will be a lot of nostalgia, but it takes a big burden off. 25 years is a long time, so good luck.
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