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About DaBest

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  1. Yo! I'm ok. Not dead. Sent you a message.
  2. Past couple of days have been up and down. I've been staying up too late, often turning off my blockers briefly to go research bouldering techniques since I'm still really new and want to improve. I go rock climbing pretty late as it's open way later than the normal gym, so if I get out of work late, I just go rock climbing instead. I'm simply in love with rock climbing at this point. The athleticism, the problem solving, the people, the drop-in nature of the gym itself--it all really brings me back to when I was doing jiu jitsu. I've made a lot of acquaintances at this point, which is aw
  3. Alright, weekend has been pleasant so far. Parents visited since I can't visit them (...). Missed them, had a lot of really good food. Made me really happy to see them. As soon as they left it's been straight back on the laptop. I'm going to get off now. I'm re-signing my contract for one week. Honestly, I've been very lax with internet usage the past few days in between how busy I was, like I was OWED that, like it served some connection with the outside world. It means I was not doing enough of that on my own this past week. There are much better ways to get that. I have goals. I
  4. Have been working crazy hours this week, and I've been up late a bunch, like tonight. Internet usage has been good or bad depending on the day. Meditation has been iffy. Good to note I lost sight of that. I started rock climbing and love it. Have already made a few acquaintances there and that makes me very happy. That's it.
  5. Dude, that's a massive pay bump either way. Congrats!
  6. Bro, no shame. You're acting brave as fuck right now. Fuck the haters, if they exist. You need to do what's right for you. This is YOUR journal, and it's meant to help YOU. Absolute gangster. (And, now you're putting more pressure on me to stay consistent with the gym, so thanks for that.)
  7. Things. Internet usage has been better. Haven't gone really overboard or done too much dumb stuff. Phone usage is way down this week compared to last. Went to a happy hour yesterday for a buddy at my old job that finally had enough. I also saw the woman I asked out and she seemed none too pleased lol. Idgaf. Had a lot of fun and it was great to see a lot of the people I was friendly with. After SEVERAL rounds of reviews I finally got all three deliverables out today, in time for tomorrow. Now I have nothing. Consulting is weird. Hopefully, I can get something tomorrow, or it mi
  8. I'm awake. Lol. I got a full night's sleep last night, but I'm still feeling the sleep debt. I've noticed the past week or so, it's been really hard managing my internet use. Even at work it's creeping back up a little bit. I think I'm just feeling cooped up, lonely, and stressed. I just need to hold on. Work was hard today. I got in late (for obvious reasons) and then ended up staying super late after getting wrapped up into an impromptu meeting at 5 that lasted til 7:30. It's crunch time now.
  9. I've been up for 38 hours now. Two short of a record. Lol. I'm actually pretty reasonably awake. But I'm going to bed now. I had a bunch of time sensitive work I had to do which A) I couldn't start til Sunday afternoon, B) and I procrastinated when it came time to do it. I basically fit two day's work into one. PEACE!
  10. @TheNewMe2.0, good to hear you're working on your mental health too. Why do I go to work? Because solitary confinement makes me want to die. Straight up, the 1.5 months I spent without going anywhere besides the dumpster and grabbing mail when everyone locked down last year was the most brutal thing I ever endured. I live solo without a family. Never again will I submit to such a thing. @Jason70, 100% agree, though I'm not consistent with putting that into practice. I did get my sleep on track today thankfully. --- Alright, updates. Didn't get a chance to catch up on sleep
  11. @TheNewMe2.0, oh, that's interesting. I'll give that a shot. I've been doing something similar to that at work (cause I'm the only one in the office, lol), where I take a piece of paper, write whatever my thoughts are that are irrational and causing whatever anguish or anxiety is there, and then directly refute all of the BS on the opposite side of the page. It calms me down a lot. I like this though too since it forces you to explore both "poles" so to speak, and find where the truth lies in the middle. It's less prone to irrational positivity too. --- Was kind of dumb on Tuesday. G
  12. Kinda tired. Was up late yesterday doing laundry. I'll keep this brief. Doing better. Had a good day at work. Had an actual productive heart-to-heart with my dad. Don't really feel like writing about it much right now but it feels like some of the weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Accidentally broke my internet rules tonight. Overall, this past week went much better than last, though I still want it badly. Being present is hard still.
  13. @TheNewMe2.0, all good suggestions. I don't know any CBT exercises though. I don't think I've done anything like that with my therapist. --- Kinda slowly losing my mind. Honestly, just overwhelmed and cooped up. Meditated, worked-out, groceries, and cooking. Laundry ongoing. I need to do more on my weekends. I need to push through this. Internet usage lower overall today. Grateful for mom.
  14. Sorry to hear about the troubles coming back up. Things sounded much better for you in your earlier posts--I was really grateful to see that. Though, I'm not so sure that you can't stop. I mean, you said this just two weeks ago: You've taken a step back. That sucks, honestly. But, you've also taken steps forward. Compared to when you were gaming, now that you are attempting to quit permanently, do you game less overall? If so, you just practice the habit of not gaming, and eventually, it sticks. I know I've mentioned this before, but my mom was an alcoholic for 25 years. It was ac
  15. Absolute madlad. Good stuff on the month, but holy crap, that's so damn cold, lol.