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  1. Day 202 No VG - 202 days, no sports news - 17 days, NF - 11 days left, SOB - 11 days left Looking back at the grammar from the last post...yeah...I really needed bed. Work is driving me nuts. No news to report there. Had an improv show tonight! We performed very well, and it was the first time I had someone in the audience I knew from outside of improv. I was a little stressed out from it, and felt a little bit stifled, but overall my performance was good and consistent. Had some fun after the show too over drinks. Also, trying to complain less at work and get back to stoicism a bit. I let BS take up too much of my emotional bandwidth.
  2. Day 201 Everyone thing else was good. I'm falling asleep standing up. Need bed.
  3. @Avnat Netzer Haha. Yeah, that too. Or I can never go to bed and then I'll never have to worry about getting up 😉 Day 200 No VG - 200 days, no sports news - 15 days , NF - 13 days left, SOB - 13 days left 200 days. Holy moly. That's a big step forward for me. Afraid I'm substituting a bit, but overall, things are better then when I started. I'm generally getting to bed earlier and getting more sleep. I get to work earlier. My home is cleaner. I got a therapist. I'm taking more responsibility of my health. I stuck with improv even though I really wanted to quit, and now I developed it into a nice skill. I got another friend group. And the ideations have calmed down quite a bit from where they were at the start of this journey. Yeah, I still have my really sucky days, but if I think back on things logically, things are better. Saved a bunch of time this morning by not staying in bed and getting on my phone. Feels good. Work was stressful today. Lots of requests for managing other people's work that they've been dropping in my lap on top of managing contractors. Had physical therapy after though, so that was fun. Biggest hurdle I face tonight is cooking dinner midweek and doing dishes after, and going to bed at a reasonable hour. If I sit on my couch with this computer, as I am right now, I will not get this done. Alright, let me get moving. Peace.
  4. Day 199 No VG - 199 days, no sports news - 0 days left! + 14 more, journaling - 0 days left + 14 more, No Fap - 14 days left, Straight Outta Bed - 14 days left Don't feel like writing much today. I didn't consume any sports news for 14 days and want to go for another 14. Same for journaling. Made a deal with my therapist today that I'd add No Fap and getting out of bed right away to the next two weeks of habit rebuilding. Should be helpful.
  5. Day 198 No VG - 198 days, no sports news - 1 day left, journaling - 1 day left. Suffice it to say I didn't go out last night. I've been struggling recently, and I've came to a realization--well, reminder--today. My self-esteem sucks right now, and it really shouldn't. Prime example is the comment I received from my improv instructor--a legitimately funny person well known in our local community. "You are funny." I've never considered myself a funny person. I always viewed myself as opposite the popular kids, and since they were often funny, I found myself not funny. And honestly, I wasn't funny. I was weird, though I guess all kids are to an extent. I've definitely gotten way better at expressing my own humor and vibing with someone else's this year, and in the back of my mind, I knew I was getting better, but I still couldn't accept it. Today I had a practice where I think I, for the first time, had confidence with my ability and had it extend to my identity. The difference was night and day. I was confident, no hesitation, and everything was easier. There was no mental hurdles to jump over. It was as close to a flow state that I've been in with improv. The difference was all in my head. If I start improving my self-esteem, I'm going to take more risks. I've my self-esteem is low and I feel I have nothing to offer, I won't take any risks. Simple as that. Despite my problems, I have a lot going for me right now. I'm going to re-read The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem again and work through that more diligently this time.
  6. Day 197 No VG - 197 days, no sports news - 2 days left, journaling - 2 days left. Was very tired. Woke up at noon today. Not a good start to the day, but I did clean up significantly. Just waiting for some clothes to get out of the dryer and I should be on my way.
  7. Day 196 No VG - 196 days, no sports news - 3 days left, journaling - 3 days left. Fell asleep right after writing posting last night. I was really beat. Still kind of am. Today was meh. Didn't feel very productive at work, but I organized a lunch for my team and we had fun. We engineers have no fun ever even though we all get along well. It was a nice respite. I was very tired when I left work, but I actually went to the gym! I kind of realized if I didn't I was just going to fall asleep when I went home, so I figured I might as well go. I don't think the chances of me going out tonight were super high. Next week I need to make sure I get to bed at a good time, and also stop wasting so much time in bed when I wake up in the morning. Debating either cleaning up, or going to bed early and doing so in the morning. For sure I'm going out tomorrow night. I'm cooped up.
  8. Day 195 No VG - 195 days, no sports news - 4 days left, journaling - 4 days left. House is starting to get messy again. Just fell asleep early last night. I need to exercise more discipline by pushing through during situations like this. I had my last improv class for the time being tonight, and I got some very touching feedback by my instructor. Basically, they said that I had a good grasp and understanding of areas where I personally don't see it myself...which in a way is the story of my life really. They also said I need to move quicker and not think so much...which again, is the story of my life. Interesting words to mull over. Our show is next week, so hopefully I can put something into use then. I should probably reflect on that more, but I am super tired and really need to clean a bit.
  9. Day 194 No VG - 194 days, no sports news - 5 days left, journaling - 5 days left Didn't get the dishes done last night. Got too involved keeping tabs on the elections over here in the US because I'm a nerd like that. Ended up staying up til midnight, but thankfully not any later. Today went well enough at work. My back feels more messed up than usual. I was going to go to the gym today with some coworkers but they stuff come up. That's fine, as I need to clean up at home a bit, and I also cooked more food for the rest of this week. I'm really tired now. I just want to finish doing the dishes before I go to bed. I'm going off the computer after this so I don't do anything too stupid tonight.
  10. Day 193 No VG - 193 days, no sports news - 6 days, journaling - 6 days left I actually did everything I said I was going to last night, AND got to bed early. I don't know the last time I had a night like that. Kinda impressed with myself, haha. Today was more of the same. I was actually reasonably productive at work, and I actually went to the gym after. This is the first time I've been to the gym three days in a row in a long time. It was a leg workout too, so hopefully my back won't feel too messed up tomorrow. I still need to have dinner. My cleaning goals tonight is just to back my gym bag (if that counts) and to get the dishes done. If I get a little more done too, then that's great also. I like having my time back.
  11. Day 192 No VG - 192 days, no sports news - 7 days left, journaling - 7 days left Quick rundown from yesterday and today. Improv practice went well enough. Had some moments where I definitely was improving on some weak areas. Made dinner and did laundry when I got home, but after dinner, I fell asleep on my couch before I cleaned up. I guess I was really tired still. Started the morning doing a few errands before going to work. Work itself was busy, and I feel like I was all over the place. I had one moment today where I found myself getting very irritated, and I took a breather in my car. Tonight, I need to take care of a few items. First, I absolutely must clean up the mess in my kitchen. Second, I might consider running an errand. Third, if I don't do the second, or if I have enough time after taking care of that, I'd like to do a mobility, rehab, or ab workout. Feeling a little antsy from the lack of internet, but that's a good thing I guess, since it means my brain is changing.
  12. Hi Phil, welcome! Good choice on your part. Best of luck with your new journey!
  13. Day 191 No VG - 191 days, no sports news - 8 days left, journaling - 8 days left. After I posted last night, I ended up sleeping until before I needed to leave. I was very sleep deprived and needed it. No cleaning. The show itself went okay. Not our best performance, but we are avoiding common pitfalls that we had early on. The crowd itself was tough as they were mostly improvisers in the show, but they seemed to enjoy it enough. Nights like that are good though since you can't get away with cheap laughs. Afterwards we went out for a brief bit. I ended up not going out to the clubs after since it was a little late. I find it hard to go out after going to a show--this might be a stretch goal for the future. This morning I FINALLY caught up on sleep, and hit the gym EARLY. I was able to avoid screens for the most part so getting out wasn't a big deal. I had a good workout too, so right now I'm feeling pretty good. Right now, I need to get to finish cleaning myself up, go to the grocery store, go to practice, cook and have dinner, call my folks and just get ready for the week in general. The most important thing I need to clean tonight are the dishes, but I'll also hang up a family heriloom that I've been meaning to since I moved in. In all, I'm pretty happy about how the past week went. I felt somewhat competent and was attacking problems all week. I wasn't on the computer or the phone as much either. I regained so much time from making a small change. I still feel a little neurotic and antsy since I don't have all that much dopamine available from the internet, but as long as I keep improving my situation and taking solace in that, hopefully that will be enough to tide me over. I am definitely feeling much better and looking forward to this week!
  14. Day 190 No VG - 190 days, no sports news - 9 days left, journaling - 9 days left. Last night was a wash--I fell asleep for three hours after I finished dinner. Couple of nights in a row with 5 hours of sleep. Unfortunately, I couldn't fall asleep until 3, and then I had to get up at 5:30. I feel pretty trash right now. However, I did get in a rehab workout for my back once I realized I was not falling back asleep, and I finished a book. Work went well today. Saturdays are very quiet and I was able to get a decent amount done. I also had amazing sfogliatelle from a local deli. Try it if you haven't. I have a late improv show tonight, so I'm gonna eat dinner, sleep because I really need it now, and if I get up early enough, I'll either workout or clean. Good times, good times.
  15. Day 189 No VG - 189 days, no sports news - 10 days left, journaling - 10 days left Got everything done I wanted to last night, but was up a little late again. I'm kinda tired. Tonight: I want to have dinner, go to the gym, and go out for a bit. I do have to get up somewhat early tomorrow as I have to go to work. I'm not going to have much time for cleaning, so I also want to do today's dishes, and clean my nightstand. Again, I'm grateful I'm making better choices.
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