Thank you for the shoutout, @Tzen1 and I hope that your next plan will go well for you. When I received my first degree in music I was unable to teach and wound up being a substitute teacher for the first 5 years of my career. These were some of the most challenging, world-shaking years of my life. I believe that we each have several paths to take in our lives and that we can feel fulfilled in. I am looking forward to reading and hearing what your thoughts are along your current path and how it unfolds for you.
Week 5/13. Nearly half way
Holllly shit I almost relapsed today without even really noticing. I've just been bored and in bed today and haven't had much energy to go do anything. Without really thinking about it, I got on youtube and typed in the name of a gaming channel I used to go to all the time. I just sat there scrolling through the channel looking at what new videos were out without clicking on any of them. All of a sudden, I remembered I'm on a detox and can't watch any of them. I exited out of the screen and just sat there thinking about what happened. Just visiting that page for 20-30 seconds had me heavily consider if I should just say, "screw it" and relapse and deal with the consequences later. I literally spent two hours craving heavily until I fell asleep. Took a nap and just woke up. Feeling like shit and still kind of want to go back to the page, but I'm in a little bit more of control now. I'm so glad I didn't relapse.
Honestly didn't do anything today. I'll take not relapsing as enough of an accomplishment for the day though.
In the morning, I cooked and did the laundry, wrote, meditated for a few and was napping/thinking until lunch.
After lunch I went outside for a walk. I was exploring an area I have never been to and halted for a nice snack too, so I came back 4 hours later.
In the evening, I felt tired from the long walk, so I just did things to keep myself awake, though I still managed to listen to the Life Unlocked podcast #2.
One thing I got from it was that I want to write my monthly summary again and perhaps prepare some small speech/showing of photos to my family and some friends. I got a lot out of these 4 months and I think it might be worth sharing my experience with others, though it will take some time to write.
Jobs, monthly, 4 months, short walk, cook (money invest)
Day 146 17.08.19
Today I am grateful for finally having the time and willpower to study for real.
Today I am grateful for a great day.
One amazing thing that happened/I did today
1)was doing sport twice, studied quite a bit and mediated a lot it felt great to do a day like this before going on vacation 😉
more than 20k steps
2h workout at the gym
83min (morning and lunch time)
Visualisation and daily affirmation
did a lot visualisation during my run and in the shower
Reading (4hours of studying for the exam today)
had enough time for some spanish and was only able to study 4 hours
my wake-up time
around 8:15 (the worker in the house do not allow me to sleep longer 😞 with their noise)
Weekly Goal(s) start waking up at 6:30am, study at between 5 and 8hours per day, have at least 2 perfect days in a row
Monthly Goal to study at least 4 hours a day (or as average over the weeks), be more grateful for everything in life, find the joy of living in the moment, think hard about my values and what kind of person I want to be, find ways to avoid falling back to old habits in times of boredom especially now in the summer 3 Month Goal getting my degree or getting it nearly done during the summer, having a really productive life, living my life so that I am proud of it, avoid the comfort zone as much as possible What went well today: (NF:1/NW:0/NS:0/NC:62)
did some spanisch and a lot of meditation, studied finally more than 1 hour again
What I could have done to make my day better
forgot about Tai-chi till now 😞 (but there will be enough time during my vacation) and was the whole day sugar free but I ate too less for the amount of sport I did and so in the evening I became weak and bought an icecream 😞
What I will do differently tomorrow/What I have planned for tomorrow:
wake up around 8, prepare for the vacation and be happy, do some meditation and Tai-Chi
Weekly summary, thoughts and improvements for the future
during my vacation from sunday to thursday night/friday I will take notes but I am not sure if there is a wlan at our apartment and I can post here, worst case I will write it down and reconstruct a summary when I am back or will wirte only a few sentences each day we will see^^