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NEW VIDEO: Letting go of gaming


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About ceponatia

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  1. Sometimes when I feel like I'm too drained and depressed to do anything, I force myself to go for a walk with the idea that all you have to do is put one foot out the front door and you'll be off.
  2. Yeah a bit part of this meal plan will be simply ensuring that I remember to eat every meal. I'm so bad about just eating dinner.
  3. Oh I'm never going to give up... even with relapsing I still game waaaaay less than I was a month ago and get much more done. And I agree that trying to rush dating is too much... I'm taking a break. I did go on dates with two women this weekend and they just made me realize that I don't want to date. There were red flags early on in our app conversations but I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt. Nope, these women were trainwrecks. I think that focusing on my own personal life is fine and I will eventually meet people without the aid of these garbage apps (which I keep saying but then I go back to them when I'm bored. I won't this time). I'll have to pay more attention to why I relapse because the relapse happens way before I even game... it's usually early on in the day while I'm still at work. Kind of like I know what I need to do later in the day and I dread it so I think "meh I'll just game today and do it tomorrow". Always "tomorrow" lol. ------------ Yesterday was alright, actually. Went on one of those two dates (the other was Friday). This one was with a girl I was almost 100% certain I wasn't going to like but I went anyway just to get out of the house and have some social interaction. She was throwing up a lot of red flags during our conversations suggesting she was probably an alcoholic. Turned out to be the case. She was also not even remotely physically attractive and barely spoke so I made an excuse to leave pretty quickly and then blocked her on the app. Today I'm trying a new meal plan formed by some researchers at Harvard who claim that it gives you all of the vitamins and nutrients you need in a day. You can find it here and it looks pretty bland, I won't lie, but the beauty of it is that it's only 1,100 calories which isn't enough for basically anyone, so you can add meat and other things to it as you like. It'll need some tweaking over the next few days but I bought all of the ingredients listed and it only totaled $80 (could have been less but I splurged on wild caught salmon) which is far less than what I normally spend in a week on food.
  4. I think you'll start to fit in more the more you do it. We adapt to the behaviors of people around us, that's why people who never go out are always weird. Lol
  5. Welcome to the club! You have a lot of good goals for yourself. I think that if you focus on eating better, getting quality sleep, and exercising, the mental health part will sort itself out. That's what's worked for me, anyway.
  6. Not much to update for the day. Recommitted to QUITTING, did some chores finally, played around in Kontrol, and so on. Ahead of schedule with school for the week and it's my LAST WEEK AS A UNIVERSITY FRESHMAN WOOOOO. Went to the chiropractor yesterday because work has been killing my back these past couple weeks. He damn near gave me an orgasm, lmao. So much relief. One of the cracks was so deep I lost the ability to speak for a second. Some goals for this weekend: MEAL PREP / PLAN Sign up for new gym Saturday (and cancel old one) Possible date Ordering a new Korg Plenty more things I could do, those are just off the top of my head.
  7. Last night sucked. I played Assassin's Creed for a couple hours and didn't eat dinner. Blaaaah. Still, I managed to get up an hour early today and hit the gym so I'm on schedule with my gym routine. Checking out a new gym Saturday that has free group fitness classes that look pretty intense (including boxing which I've always wanted to try). Still talking to a few women from online dating apps but my enthusiasm over dating is starting to rapidly fade as I get to know them better. It's not that they're bad people, just not the kind of people I'd want to spend my life with. One of them was hassling me because I was going to bed at 9:30. That would not work for me in a relationship... I love getting up early and getting stuff done. Anyway, onward and upward.
  8. Yeah, I haven't committed to going out and meeting people yet but it's on the agenda. I'm quite good in conversation, I was mostly joking about taking minutes to reply. 😆 Online dating is trash tbh; the women I get messages from I'd never in a million years consider a serious relationship with but I'm not really in a position in my personal life right now to be attractive to the kind of woman I'm interested in. No rush.
  9. Best to not regret the past, it had to happen so you could get to where you are now. No other way about it. 🙂
  10. Cool observation; seems to hold up. Whenever a new social media app pops up who quickly rises to the top? Women in bikinis and men with 12% body fat acting dumb. Lol. Didn't take long at all for "esports" commentary and streaming sites to become basically porn channels. I read an interesting article earlier today about how the world wasn't always like this... the ancients prized engineering and scientific skill over throwaway gimmicks like iphones and forgettable music. From a practical perspective, we haven't even advanced that far in the last 2,000 years. Electricity and computers certainly changed the game but what have we really done with them that ancient mathematicians weren't doing? (I'm purposefully being simplistic here, we could obviously list a million things that have enhanced people's lives but overall we use modern technology to produce an endless amount of toys that are designed to break every 6 months) Sorry I'm bored at work and went on a tangent. Lol.
  11. @Redbeancooked I don't that's why I use online dating. Lol. Much easier when you can take however long you want to reply!
  12. I admire how often you get out and do new things!
  13. Thanks guys, I definitely feel like this time is much different from the others (like I'm actually doing homework, lol). My final assignment for the week is to create a LinkedIn profile; I am pretty confident that I can handle that, haha. Yesterday was an above average day: I set up a schedule for this weeks schoolwork and extra-curricular studying (A+ Certification and music). Tuesdays are like my Mondays just because that's how my uni schedule is. I've been talking to two women from online dating apps despite no longer using the apps... one from OkCupid and one from Tinder. Never had luck with Tinder in the past so this is interesting. The people there seem to be a bit more "adult" than from OkCupid and much less "Indian scammer" than Plenty of Fish. I also tried Hinge but it was a complete wash. Hinge was appealing because you have to actually quote something from their profile in your opening message so I figured it'd spark conversation but: Most of their profiles were boring as fuck They just ignored my messages anyway. One of the women I'm talking to is actually kind of my type. She got a little inquisitive about the fact that I live with my mother at 38 which I can't really say is unexpected. It's temporary and I lived on my own for 10 years prior to 2014 but nobody else has any reason to believe that. We moved on though and she seems to be okay with it for now, lol. The other woman is cute but not really my type. I might go on a date with her just to get some social practice. Is that bad? Lol. I don't think so. It's not like I'm using her for sex or promising I'm going to be her boyfriend or anything. Anyway, another busy day today. Hope everyone has a good one!
  14. It passes! I'm sorry I can't be more help than that, just wanted to let you know someone is paying attention to your journal and I'm hoping for the best! I know this was several hours ago so if you did relapse, no worries. Just start again. We all do it. 🙂
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