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ceponatia

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About ceponatia

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  1. Day Eleven It's actually become pretty easy to avoid gaming lately. I wouldn't lie and say that I've replaced it with tons of productive hobbies, I've just been too tired and busy to even think about gaming after work. This weekend I'll make more of an effort of working in some of my other goals like studying piano and getting back to the gym. I've also been eating pretty poorly this week which has both cost a lot of money and probably contributed to how tired I feel.
  2. You need to set stronger boundaries with this person, they probably don't even think they are manipulating you. I'm not great at this myself so I'm just giving you advice that I've been given countless times... I know it's far from easy. Even if fighting your bully strains your family relations, it's still the right thing to do. At the end of the day, you're the most important person in your life.
  3. Recovery is a process. Every time you start over, you're still learning from your mistake and will be stronger next time.
  4. Day Ten Settling into a bit of a routine now. I was going to wake up earlier today to go to the gym but I'm just too tired when it's cold out. I could go to bed at 6pm and wake up at 5am and still feel tired. It's nuts. Not much else to report. Kind of a boring week.
  5. Day Seven Feeling better today. Back "on the wagon" so to speak! Waking up this morning, gaming wasn't even remotely interesting to me so I'm jumping back into A+ cert studying and school. My school weeks go from Tues - Mon so my next assignment will start tomorrow. Finished my exam today (aced it but that's not difficult at all at UoP). Not really sure what to do hobby-wise today so I'm cleaning up and getting everything ready for the work week. Had today off for MLK day. I've been spending a bit of time on the stopgaming subreddit too. Lots of the same question being asked over and over by people who will never be back. Very similar experience to when I used to go to the alcoholism subreddit. People only want to quit when they're feeling down; once they go to bed and wake up fresh they're right back into it. It takes a conscious effort and planning to actually quit. So, those subs are pretty frustrating. There was even one guy whose life was such a mess I almost wanted to say that quitting games should be at the very end of his list. But I try to not give people life advice these days. Not only is it none of my business, they're also not going to listen so it's a waste of effort. Still happy with the fact that I actually went out with REAL LIVE FRIENDS on Saturday. I hope that can happen more frequently. It's difficult at my age because everybody is married and has families that they need to do things with most of the time. People don't go out for a day and try something new like they did when we were younger. Now it's just meeting for drinks at a bar for an hour or two which I obviously can't do. Ah well, that's just negative thinking getting the better of me. It'll be alright.
  6. "Using dreams" are a common occurrence with all addictions. They suck, but they're perfectly normal. I still wake up in a cold sweat after having a dream about getting drunk, wondering if I actually did drink the night before and then realizing I don't have a hangover. Lol. They'll always be there but they get much, much more infrequent. And don't think of it in terms of "why do I always have to mess up so much". People make mistakes and we learn from them. You're doing great.
  7. Day Five & Six had my first relapse, which I expected to happen eventually. I'm no stranger to quitting an addiction and it's kind of just part of the process. Learned from it though... I can't put off my ADHD medication or I lose all of my energy and don't want to do anything productive. To be honest I didn't even want to game, I just wanted to do other things even less. Back at it now. Studying tonight and throwing myself back into music. No harm done.
  8. Interestingly I've been thinking about finding an acting school too!
  9. Day Four Yesterday was great! Work went by super fast and afterward I studied and spent some time with the family. Today I am meeting up with some friends I haven't seen in a decade which makes me nervous of course but the fact that we used to be best friends helps. It's snowing big time here so most of my morning is being spent on that and trying to buy a snow blower. I'll finish up the afternoon with some Machine practice and light reading.
  10. Love how detailed your journal entries are, gives me lots of ideas for things I can do.
  11. Awesome post! I can definitely relate to a lot of your "why I quit" list. I also consider gamers, on average, to be very toxic and negative and just don't want to be a part of that anymore. I think a big part of that is that the most vocal members of the game community are the ones who spend all day either gaming or on Reddit (so... us, lol) and they are not mentally healthy or happy people. The ones who just casually play for 30 minutes to an hour every once in a while aren't going to be on the Steam forums talking trash all day or sending developers death threats on Twitter. Remember Gamergate? I bet virtually everybody involved in that argument was a video game addict. It's so nice to be able to think clearly and not get triggered by insignificant things like a bug in a game or someone no scoping you. Lol
  12. @Alexanderle yep! Sometimes we even think people don't like us or HATE us even though we just misunderstood something. I've become friends with lots of people I used to dislike because I thought they disliked me first. Lol
  13. So true. I am normally very quiet and shy but I started just at work by saying hi to everybody I saw in the morning. Then I started asking people how they were. At first people just say "good" or whatever, but after you've talked to the same person a few times they open up to you more and a conversation starts.
  14. I understand how you feel about your friendships. When I gave up alcohol a year and a half ago I lost almost ALL of my friends... not really because they didn't like me being sober but because I had been such a bastard to them while drinking that the shame was too much to stomach while sober. I'm also very slow to make new friends... I always get on with people but when it comes to actually finding people to spend time with outside of work or whatever... I just don't know how to make the first move. So you're not alone in that. We're still young in our new lives though and we'll find people that mesh with our new visions of ourselves.
  15. Even on a slow and lazy day you still worked out which is something the majority of people don't do on even their best days. Good work. 🙂
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