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Everything posted by dasvira

  1. Hey men one of the things I love in this forums is that I can find people struggling with the same problems as I am. Good luck in your journey.
  2. Hello again everyone. I am back after a big relapse. I stopped this forum after new year because I was frustrated and ashamed from my relapse. And I apologize for simply leaving the forum without saying goodbye. I tried to go no gaming just by myself and did hold to it for a few weeks. But last month I started playing hearts of iron IV, just pirated it because I deleted my steam account and I am gaming pretty much all the time I am not working (sometimes till 04am). It affected my studies during February by a lot. Well, time to start again. Days without gaming: 00
  3. Massive relapse between Christmas and new year. I gamed all the time from Christmas to now. Started playing videogames (cyberpunk+red dead redemption) with my cousins and I got totally hooked on it. I downloaded that shit in my PC and I was playing videogames all the time until Sunday, then I binged in the expanse season 5. If I was not watching shows or playing games I was surfing on Reddit or watching YouTube videos. I also drank wine and saw porn most of the days, and was waking up almost at midday most of the time. I simply gave up on my life during this last week. I actuall
  4. Most people manage to overcome depression, most of the time it is only a temporary condition. I feel like seeing a psychiatric could really help you right now (specially if you are thinking about hurting yourself).
  5. This is also how I feel. Every time I game/watch TV/ see porn in order to blow off some stress I fell usually more tired and stressed afterwards. I also crave for some more immediate success a lot of the time. Unfortunately many of us spent years building in bad habits who will simply not go away overnight. That being said, I feel MUCH better now after 35 days of a more or less successful detox then I was last month playing games all the time.
  6. I also have problems adequating my commitment to change myself with my social life. Notably, I feel like if I am ever invited to watch TV, games or drink (only one glass of wine), I would do so even if not to be rude and look like I am judgmental. Internally, however, I would do my best not to get hooked on those things. I wonder if your family and friends know about your intentions of quitting games?
  7. @championeal From Thich Nhat Hanh I only read this book and "Blue Sky White Clouds", do you recommend any of his book specially?
  8. Another week goes by. I have been studying most of the time (stopped counting, but at a minimum of 11h every single day, apart from today), even if that meant that I wouldn't exercise/read/meditate/journaling on a day. My studying are going very well, but my mental health not so much... I am not sure it is sustainable in the long run to study this much. I kept internet surfing to a minimum (I spent 05 consecutive days without any surfing), but I saw porn twice along the week... Yesterday however I drank like half a bottle of wine (mainly due of stress I think) and saw porn afterwards
  9. Keep on @Mohammad, best of luck!
  10. Another week passed by. PORN: This week masturbated 03 times (but I was careful to be quick and efficient about it and only took <15min LOL). Honestly, I kind of quit my commitment of quitting porn during some days and started to "cut corners". At least I fap quickly once a day, my lust is satiated and don't bother for the entire day, which is not true about TV/Games/surfing/food because once I have a little taste of it I always want more and waste my entire day hooked on that kind of shit... As I said a few days ago, I don't think porn affect my life in the same way that m
  11. Thanks for your concer @Pochatok, but unfortunately I kind of have to study all my free time and sacrifice quite a little bit (and a lot of money...) if I wanna a shot at doing well boards and immigrating to the USA... I am already 26 yo, two years since graduation and with no residency, so there I have some sense of urgency of matching in 1-2 years. Otherwise, I will be stuck in Brazil forever... Thanks @Mohammad! Woke up 4:30, and I want to keep waking up at this hour everyday. Unfortunately I mastubated in the morning, because of lack of self control. I did surf for about 1:4
  12. Second, I spent all my day behind a computer and sometimes I kind of have to visit youtube/ wiki to solve a doubt or two and I always end falling in the rabbit hole. I think exercising and reading are two great hobbies to substitute games with. I am also reading, meditating and exercising everyday.
  13. LOL loved the pyramid counter. I would steal your idea, if I wasn't trying to keep my reboot hidden.
  14. Thanks @Jason70 and @Pochatok! Getting social support from this community is really motivating. -------------------------------- Did some surfing today and almost masturbated. First time was in the morning I surfed 30 min in wiki in astronomy content stuff that I have no use for. Second time was when I almost convinced myself of masturbating, I decided to open videos about no FAP (who weren't really helpful, since they were making some absurd claims about it), then I didn't resist the urge and clicked on trashy video for 15min with a chinese guy making crappy invasive q
  15. When I was searching a legitimate doubt on the internet about what materials I should study next, I gave in to temptation to surf in the internet forum I was seeing. The duration of this event was about 2:00. Of it, 1:30 hours was legitimate research that directed all my studies for the next week. 30min however were from surfing in a forum of my career (it may not be the worst kind of surfing, but still will count it as surfing for consistency sake). It sucks to break a streak, but on the bright side, I only surfed 30min in the last 3 days. I had to go out of home in order to deal
  16. @WhoCares I am glad you are back! I believe you will succeed in overcoming this terrible addiction. However, if you can't do it, I think there is no point in stopping trying to abandon video games, even if only to damage control eventual relapses. That is very good advice, other-izing helps me to deal psicologically with many hardships in my life. Here is an excerpt of Massimo Piugliucci that i read recently: 6. Other-ize. “We can familiarize ourselves with the will of nature by calling to mind our common experiences. When a friend breaks a glass, we are quick
  17. My experience is the opposite I think, I noticed that stopping/ reducing masturbation has made me less lustful. That being said, I am also making a conscious effort not to be lustful (and see people with dignity) and not engage in daydreaming, wishfulthinking (and a lot of my fantasies involve the opposite gender in some form). Yep, that was exactly my experience (as described on previous entries). Once I stopped gaming and TV/ streaming, I started to try to procrastinate in any other way, mainly internet surfing, daydreaming and reading. Now (with almost 19 days without TV/Game
  18. Hi Jason! Good luck in your journey quitting games! Many people (including me) did relapse during this pandemic. I hope you stay strong and determined in this long and difficult path to leave videogames behind.
  19. That feels like the good old hedonic thread mill, human greed is unlimited man... It is better to simply ackowlege the fact that there is nothing that will make us perfectly and permanently happy and that life is just a cycle of ups and downs. (I am sorry for not having anything more practical about how to improve your situation).
  20. I get your struggles. I have not the best relationship with my sisters either. Also in the last few years I was under pressure to amass the money necessary, to pay the costs of immigration (it gets expesive when 1 US $ = 6 BRL). Unfortunately, life is unfair and sometimes unpleasant. However, giving in to gaming or any other compulsion won't make it any better. I sincerely, hope you the best in your journey. PS: I like how you pick things to be grateful about everyday.
  21. Thanks @championeal I actually did not know this 'rabbit hole' idiom, it describes very well how I feel sometimes. ------------------------------------------------- Absolutely no surfing today (zero, nothing)! I did masturbate/ saw porn after lunch and overall it didn't impact my mood or performance (besides the 30min I spent in the act). I can't claim it was because of a strong compulsion or anything, I rather fooled myself into believing that masturbating once a week is fine. To be quite honest, I do think that faping once a week or ever two weeks is kind
  22. Today I had to deal with my problematic intelectual hubris and excessive curiosity. There is an entry of my personal diary that I think is worth sharing and will take some extra time typing it today: ----------------------------------- Today, I talked with a friend about physics during my workout session before lunch. While I can only resolve very basic math and physics problems (like the four basic operations and very basic kinetic exercises), since my abilities with numbers ironed since I got out from high school; I still find the more theoretical parts of physics fas
  23. Something that works really well for my acne is a combination of a sulphur soap every day a + mud mascara (I use a local brazilian vulcanic mascara that is similar in composition to the USA bentonite one) twice a week. The evidence for both of those is kind of anecdotal (there aren't many studies about it), but many people (including me) swear they worked better than traditional first therapies against acne (like topic retinoids and benzoyl peroxides). They are also much cheaper!