TheNewMe2.0

Thanks man. I’m on day six here it’s been hard. Especially when free time hits hehe. That’s really awesome and impressive what you did with wrestling. I still want to compete now. Feels like people want me to stop sometimes but I just block it out. They probably want me to keep going who knows. But I’ll beat the challenges somehow, I have to keep trying. For me and for my inner child who always dreamed of being the best somehow. Haha.

Excellent work Adrian. Glad to hear the vacation and graphics design are helping. I’m always scared of vacations, I like the idea of them. But I get anxious, I like routines and hard exercise. But I’m going to Puerto Rico in November to try to have some fun….i made sure it’s next to a gym haha. Good luck making those graphics

Thanks so much Adrian. A kind word goes a long way for me. Feels impossible sometimes, maybe I can make it easier on myself and find things to keep me game sober. You seems comfy here and doing well. So I just hope I can feel that positive good feeling with posting here regularly too. I just post here whenever I get urges and also at least twice a week is my aim. Yeah one thing at a time with the cigarettes. Right now I’m trying to get serious about exercise and stop gaming. Like trying to get more serious about my career too seems hard af. So I’m just doing the best I can with where I’m at. Maybe another week of going hard at sobriety and mma before I’m ready to go hard at more work hours. Have a good day !

Om I guess I’m still posting here. I’m so tired….i got two hours of work left and ten mins before breaks over. I guess just lie on your yoga mat….bleh

Ommmmmmmm Right so as always if you’re gonna reply here. Please be positive, kind and supportive. If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. Save your tough love for the mirror. “Be tolerant with others and strict with yourself.” -Marcus Aurelius Ommmmmmmm I’ve learned to do what I do and apologize less for it. That’s because people have been kind enough to not mind how I am. Or who I am. How I do things how I post and behave and communicate. I sought out those people those safe space. May this be one of those safe spaces. If anyone comes against my creation of this as a safe space well. I’m in charge here so whatever, I’ll handle it. Sighs. Deep breaths alright you got this man. Build yourself up. You’re gonna get up do your morning routine. Delete all your gaming stuff. Hide away the controllers and such in the cabinet above the fridge since it’s so hard to reach. Then just do your training shower nap eat high fiber diet. Ommmm foam roll meditate. Drink lots of water, Avoid bodybuilding supplements for now. They’re messing with your hydration it seems. Ommm don’t be afraid to say no to people to anyone no matter who they are. Even if you have to whisper it at first. “No thank you.” Is always a valid response and you can always change your mind if you’d like. Game quitting is easy so long as you keep posting here when you get urges and you stay focused on replacement behaviors/harm reduction. I see nothing wrong with green lighting watching anime until 9pm hard cut off time. If it goes past that you need to stop and maybe cut back on it. I’m not here to adhere to someone else’s idea of what’s ideal for me and my addictions management. I’m here to get to the next level of discipline. Of samurai quality living. Disciplined training, hard work, firm management of pleasure seeking. Of addiction prevention. I want to be the real life Goku. 15+ hours training per week. CrossFit, mma, hyper trophy. I’m at 11 hours right now and it’s tough, I need to cough up the games if I am to take the next step to 12 hours. One hour a week. Just one more. By the end of the year I can be in the 15-20 hours a week range. With enough training that I would be competent to compete in mma or bjj or Muay Thai. I just hope no one looks at me sideways if I show up to work busted up or see my girlfriend. It’s kind of like, my fear. That I’ll get banged up and lose my looks to the point that I’m kinda shunned by society. For cauliflower ear and scar tissue in the face. If you look at Steven Thompson or Michael venom page they have very normal looking faces. So I’m hoping with good ear care and defense in striking I’ll be safe to fight on for a long time. Probably got another 13 years in me that’s substantial and I want to make every year count.

Figure I’d re intro my self as it’s been years since I really posted here I am ZenYogi I wanted to change my name on here to ZenYogi @admin support? I think I tried to make a new account with that but don’t know where it went heh. I could be ZenYogii That’d be fine too Om Right so I was clean off games a good four years ish and relapsed then learned to moderate and be a functional gamer. Like going to bed in the 1030-1130 range with maybe 3 hours games a day. Sometimes more or less. But, fuck all that it needs to be gotten rid of for me. For me it’s a no go on game time. It just sucks the damn life right out of me like a leech on my thumbs on my neck as soon as I start playing as soon as I open a game. It starts to drain me. I find myself falling off on all my goals: financial, fitness, social and mental health, it all gets watered down. People, even my therapist tells me, “well you’re doing well overall. You have a good job, you’re saving money, you have good mental health and social life. You’re healthy etc.” But it’s not good enough for me. I’m not satisfied I’m not healthy as I can be I want to be my best self and thriving. Not just getting by at a better than average clip. I WANT TO EXCEL!!! I want to perform optimally for me. I want to be the best zen yogi I can be. I want to chase my paragons to be like my heroes who accomplished such heights who made the plays to keep moving forward. One step at a time and not plateau. Not settle for what other peoples standards were. But to fulfill the standards within their own hearts and souls

Hah yeah bodybuilding.com I was honestly thinking of reading Jack Lelane's live young forever book. He was jacked and healthy at age 96 still training ❤️

Ohh, I did some CBT workbook by harbinger, but it wasn't even all that popular I think it was good at teaching me about anxiety though. I also read CBT made simple which is more popular.

I wish I had more energy. I just tend to get tired and recluse often. Most activities involving exposure to other people will tire me out and make me mad or stressed. Maybe it's my freeze trauma response causing me to feel unsafe around others. Reclusing and looking for connection in the safety of online relationships where I can run away easily. YEah maybe that's it. Maybe the solution is to just work with it. Drop in on meetups where I can very easily disappear to another meetup. Keep my distance from people I have to see normally in real life 🙂 I mean aside from my partner of course or other people who're in the inner circle. They need regular interaction. What I'm saying is I wanna cancel my hangout with my dentist. I'm in that fight or flight response mode right now wanting to run away from our hangout scheduled this Saturday. Very scary stuff. Ahhhhhhh 0_0 Okay I'll give it a try. But I'm pretty sure this isn't gonna go well for me and I'll end up feeling very tired and I should just cancel it now. Forget it. The last two hangs I did with people I felt the same way and it didn't go well and I was exhausted and eventually just stopped hanging with them anyways while having a good two weeks to recover from how draining that was for me. I mean maybe this persons fine as my dentist I don't know maybe I should just bail I'm scared . Also having two journals is different not sure if I'm into it

I'm good on the gaming front indefinitely. I just have to remember to not be getting too absorbed with new friends that encourage me to game with them. Just let them know politely I don't play video games or I don't game. But I can chat with you about your games and support your doing it if it's your thing. Yeah. Om, otherwise. I guess that my cutting's not making any crazy progress. Which means I either have to fast, eat less, do cardio or all three. Hehe. Yoga doesn't really burn that many calories. But it dramatically increases my mind body connection which allows me to be conscious of when I'm full. Increasing my ability to moderate and eat less when I want to. I mean my diets been very clean. My SO came back from france with authentic french pastries so I kinda had to eat one haha. That's not something I would've done if she weren't here. I'll maybe have like 5g sugar from those macaron's every 2-3 days till they're gone. Still hoping that Halloween party goes well and all this cutting this month will have been well worth it. 🙂 Inspired by @FDRx7 I'm doing an A/B style upper body workout now so I can reduce exercises per workout while still hitting everything I want to hit. It looks like this: Upper A: Bench SS: Dip, Pull up Low Cable Row Curl Upper B: SS: Dip, Pull up Seated db press SS: curl, skull crusher Lower's the same both days just goblet squat db lunge db calf raise weighted back ext and plank. The planks have amazingly helped my core get way stronger and better. So I'm glad I met that PT who told me to swap sit up for plank. ❤️ Ugh I feel this routine's finally good and I'm thankful for it coming together. phew S2 Gratitude all around pew pew ❤️ I weighed in at 175lbs today which I think is just because the LAF scale's 5lbs lighter than my home scale. I wonder which one's more accurate but it's fine I'll just keep using the LAF scale till I get my home scale back later. Then I can compare. I'm hoping I can stay at 175lbs during this cutting cycle. Because losing muscle sucks hahaha. I'm getting stronger on all my lifts steadily so I figure I should be able to maintain at 175 lbs and actually do some minor lean bulking. Definitely will need cardio on tuesday saturday next week with my calorie restriction to make my goal happen. 7-9% bodyfat by Oct 31st.

Alright after reading t nations disc I urge on cutting and bulking I've realized I should just screw getting lean for now and wear a shirt to the party hehe Typing on this tablet is hard and slow and h3avy agh I'll try to swipe type instead yeah typing on here is hard yeah thanks @FDRx7for the website recs

Awe that's so awesome. Scooby did have some good videos I saw on just staying healthy. Thanks for the good reminder to just keep things controlled and slow with a good ROM. Are you at that point where you just feel like, you know enough to handle everything for the time being? I'm kind of feeling that way. The phys tp and yoga stuff I do is working well and I feel healthy overall. I kind of just read more or watch more stuff to learn random things. Like just to enjoy learning as the routine's going good. No need to learn new routines or exercises or whatever

Good point with the de load and I'm glad you're doing well stamina wise. I think I tend to go pretty hard at each exercise plus I'm just transitioning from home gym to real gym the past month. So doing 5 is good for me right now and I like having energy for cardio/yoga after too. We got this 😄 Yea I'll have to keep track of de-load weeks. I'd prefer to do it preventative than just being forced to do it cause you're too tired. I'll probably de-load around the first week of November or something. It's a good reminder.

How old are you if you don't mind my asking? This is a a lot of exercises per workout so you must be young or just have good endurance. I'm 35 and if I do as much as 7 exercises in a workout that day I can't be doing any yoga or cardio after usually

Hi Vee. I'm so glad you found a club you want to explore more at it sounds really fun! 🙂 Is it social anxiety that keeps you in the house? I totally work with that myself and I find that the best thing to do is to choose something that matters to me to go out for. And to make it win win like no matter what I know I'll get something good out of the experience. That helps bolster my spirits and hopefully yours too. Good for us getting out there hehe. I'm going to a meetup on Sunday for the third time so that's awesome to be building up some consistency at this group. LMK how your club hangs go!