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TheNewMe2.0's Journal - A Better Life


TheNewMe2.0
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6 hours ago, TheNewMe2.0 said:

@Bird By Bird Well your comment makes me not want to watch tv ever again. I will probably be able to cut down my tv time drastically once I get a job doing outpatient therapy instead of in home therapy. Then I'll just talk to people instead of watch tv with them. Don't want to Get a Netflix face now.

@BooksandTrees No the notes are very specific in how they're to be done. We have a eform to do and its got to be done through a certain website. But once I'm working outpatient I'll track my hours on a spreadsheet. And I'm sure do notes in a new form/site. 

@Icandothis Thank you. I am doing well at keeping going with my job and everything. I'll keep smiling at things. I even managed to wake up an hour early somehow today. Maybe because I Was playing with my med dosage a couple days earlier.

Positive: Li got back to me about my new job. 

Yes. My new job looks like it's going to happen just about for sure. Li said I'll have two options: working with her in private practice or working for a company she works at in corporate practice. I'm leaning toward private practice if the workload is there. Otherwise business practice it is. Either way I'm going to probably make 25% more money, finally get supervised hours towards licensure and get to work as an outpatient therapist. Plus it's just a more legitimate job that's like the job I'll actually be doing once I'm licensed. 

It's cold now that it's fall. But not so cold we have to run the heater just yet. I'm nice and warm and comfortable in my little couch spot here. After reading BIrd's comment I don't want to watch too much tv now. I'm sure I can spend a little more time going hiking, cooking and running errands. If not for my job I wouldn't watch that much tv. Although on my day off I watch like at least 2 hours of Netflix. Speaking of which. I'm testing Voltron and power rangers to see if I can safely watch them. I may have found two new shows to add to my collection. My clients are pretty chill about letting me watch from my list with them. They aren't fussy and demanding I Watch something else. Except one of them who doesn't really get it yet. Hopefully he will soon. I've got one client who may disappear from my roster. Which is okay as I'm probably leaving the job soon anyways. Ironically I'm finally up to about 30 hours a week now that I'm about leave (1 year 4 months in). 

I found one good hiking spot so far near my house. Hopefully I find more. I tried a new one yesterday and it was way too crowded for me to approve. 

I smiled at my water bottle

I accomplished getting through the night with a stomachache.

I am grateful for my mom who always cleans up after us everyday. Doing dishes, cleaning surfaces, cooking and restocking things. She's amazingly helpful and I'm really grateful for her. Oh and Li who saw fit to hire me to a new job that is better in so many ways and to supervise me when I had no LPC to supervise me for my licensure hours.

God bless

Erik

Congrats on the new job opportunities. I think it will provide you with more in life and the money will be huge for your savings. That's great. 

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  • stabi changed the title to TheNewMe2.0's Journal - A Better Life
11 hours ago, TheNewMe2.0 said:

@Bird By Bird Well your comment makes me not want to watch tv ever again. I will probably be able to cut down my tv time drastically once I get a job doing outpatient therapy instead of in home therapy. Then I'll just talk to people instead of watch tv with them. Don't want to Get a Netflix face now.

@BooksandTrees No the notes are very specific in how they're to be done. We have a eform to do and its got to be done through a certain website. But once I'm working outpatient I'll track my hours on a spreadsheet. And I'm sure do notes in a new form/site. 

@Icandothis Thank you. I am doing well at keeping going with my job and everything. I'll keep smiling at things. I even managed to wake up an hour early somehow today. Maybe because I Was playing with my med dosage a couple days earlier.

Positive: Li got back to me about my new job. 

Yes. My new job looks like it's going to happen just about for sure. Li said I'll have two options: working with her in private practice or working for a company she works at in corporate practice. I'm leaning toward private practice if the workload is there. Otherwise business practice it is. Either way I'm going to probably make 25% more money, finally get supervised hours towards licensure and get to work as an outpatient therapist. Plus it's just a more legitimate job that's like the job I'll actually be doing once I'm licensed. 

It's cold now that it's fall. But not so cold we have to run the heater just yet. I'm nice and warm and comfortable in my little couch spot here. After reading BIrd's comment I don't want to watch too much tv now. I'm sure I can spend a little more time going hiking, cooking and running errands. If not for my job I wouldn't watch that much tv. Although on my day off I watch like at least 2 hours of Netflix. Speaking of which. I'm testing Voltron and power rangers to see if I can safely watch them. I may have found two new shows to add to my collection. My clients are pretty chill about letting me watch from my list with them. They aren't fussy and demanding I Watch something else. Except one of them who doesn't really get it yet. Hopefully he will soon. I've got one client who may disappear from my roster. Which is okay as I'm probably leaving the job soon anyways. Ironically I'm finally up to about 30 hours a week now that I'm about leave (1 year 4 months in). 

I found one good hiking spot so far near my house. Hopefully I find more. I tried a new one yesterday and it was way too crowded for me to approve. 

I smiled at my water bottle

I accomplished getting through the night with a stomachache.

I am grateful for my mom who always cleans up after us everyday. Doing dishes, cleaning surfaces, cooking and restocking things. She's amazingly helpful and I'm really grateful for her. Oh and Li who saw fit to hire me to a new job that is better in so many ways and to supervise me when I had no LPC to supervise me for my licensure hours.

God bless

Erik

Glad you're doing well, also congratulations on your new job!

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@BooksandTrees Thanks so much. I'm really happy about my new job opportunity. It will be great for my savings and paying off my student debt which I hope to finish off by age 35 (in 3 years).

@royal panda Thank you. I am doing pretty good overall and happy that I have work hours to put in. The new job isn't final yet but it sounds like it's pretty certain they'll be offering me two positions to choose from soon.

Positive: Journal name change.

My name and journal name have officially changed. I am now 'thenewme2.0'. Big thanks to @stablish and @Cam Adair for helping me do my name changes. I am now more anonymous and feel comfortable posting more intimate and other details about my life. My mom scared me yesterday by suggesting I move out so that I stop taking up so much living room space. I told her I'd move my setup up into my room so she could have her living room back. I'll greatly miss the living room as the climate is really good here and not hot at all. Maybe I could move my stuff into the basement actually. There's probably room down there for my recliner tv and weight set. Then I could be nice and cool while I watch tv. Yes. If I do it up in my room it's gonna be super hot whenever my mom runs the heater in the fall/winter which we are facing right now. So that's kind of a big motivator to get setup down in the basement. I'm a little scared of the basement for some reason. Maybe it's darker down there or something, but hopefully I'll be able to get used to it and be okay. I watch tv with my client in the basement of his house and it's no problem. So I don't see why I wouldn't be able to do the same at my own house. Hopefully it'll all turn out okay. Also I'm really glad to see Cam posting a new video and glad that he's doing okay out there in Thailand. My mom says Thailand is a place you visit and it's so nice you want to stay. 

I smiled at life.

I accomplished getting fancy ice cream that was really quite good.

I am grateful for my water bottle which I left at a clients house. I'm not enduring minor dehydration as I cope with using cups like most people. Tragic. I'll get my baby back tomorrow. I could use more water bottles for backup.

Thanks for reading

God bless

Erik

 

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Funny story, after my morning jog a few days ago grandma came down and hugged me. "Stay here live with your parents forever." She thought I left the house. That's like the reverse of your situation with your mom scaring you. Do you have enough funds if she kicks you out?

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@Bird By Bird Haha, that'd be nice if she said I could stay with her forever. Uhm I have some money that I could use to sustain myself if I moved out but I'd be really poor and unable to save anything. My mom doesn't like fully understand that. She somehow thinks I have money to move out and be fine which I don't. She probably won't kick me out though. As long as I manage to find a recliner that doesn't hurt my back and I'm able to move my tv up into my room. Then she'll be happy with the living situation as she'll have more space.

Positive: Almost done with the chobani.

I like to keep it sugar free as much as possible during the mornings. Unfortunately my mom bought chobani instead of oikos yogurt so I'm stuck eating sugar for like a couple more weeks till the chobani is gone. Then we'll get oikos and I'll return to my sugar free greek yogurt glory. I like to save every gram of sugar I can so I can 'afford' to eat a little desert at night. But who knows if I can really afford it. Maybe I need to go back to eating no sugar entirely like before. Ah. Another client is not texting me back or responding to phone calls. So inconvenient and inconsiderate. It makes me mad. Hopefully the tracking down clients and trying to get them to come to session situation will be better at my new job. 

I smiled at my post

I accomplished getting through the party last night

I am grateful for chocolate mousse which is pretty tasty stuff. They brought some to the party last night and it was good. I tend to like chocolate things. I'm grateful for my room which is all the space I have left now that I'm relinquishing the living room to my mom. My jacket which keeps me warm in the fall. And my client who shows up to sessions very consistently and answers his phone when I call him. God bless him. 

God bless

Erik

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Positive: My mom hasn't threatened to kick me out today.

So that's good. We unfortunately bought recliners that hurt my back. So it's almost impossible to find a recliner that doesn't hurt my back. I might try buying one new from lazyboy for like 1000$. There I have more chance to try and find one that doesn't hurt. It's really a miracle that I have a couch that doesn't hurt my back. But I can't really put the couch in my room as it's a three seater and I'm using it like a personal recliner. I want to use this couch until it falls apart because I don't have anything else I can use that doesn't hurt my back. My back is very sensitive to what it sits in. My mom wants to replace the couch as it's already kind of old. Maybe I can fit it in my room. I'll measure it out after this post. 

I'm going to see the client that wouldn't return my texts/call. We'll see if he shows up to session today. I got kind of mad that he wouldn't text back. Maybe that wasn't good. Getting mad isn't good anger is bad. 

I smiled at my mom being forgiving

I accomplished drinking Metamucil which I Forget at night sometimes

I am grateful for my mom for not being mad at me when I said the recliner hurts my back and I can't use it even though we already bought it off CL. Also she comes up with things for us to do so that I'm not just watching tv all the time. Mostly errands, going to Costco, and stuff like that. 

God bless

Erik

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Positive: I have a new show testing strategy.

Okay, so, it happened. I tested a show for too long and it caused me some bad acne. Like 10 pimples and blemishes. Not the first time this has happened. My plan is to only watch for 5 minutes at a time on new shows until I'm pretty sure I can watch one then I can try for a whole episode or 30 minutes at a time. This plan will work as long as I execute it. Then I can have clear skin and search for new shows. Also searching for new shows has been a bleak and fruitless pursuit. I've probably tested over 20 shows and not been able to watch one. Okay maybe one I haven't finished trying it out yet. 

I messed up scheduling today so I gotta try to get a client to do Telehealth instead of an in person session like we planned. Sorry about that. I made a sandwich a few days ago to eat at work but then I forgot about it and there was a moldy sandwich in my bag today. Ew. I think my mom is going to let me keep my couch and tv in the living room. Which would be great if she'd be okay with it because I'm basically not going to find a recliner that works for me. 

I smiled at the day beginning

I accomplished no popping pimples

I am grateful for my mom for giving me a flash drive when I asked for something to backup my files on. Now I've just got to find my USB adapter for Mac. Also grateful for star girl that was a good show. And supergirl which I heard is cancelling after season six. Nooo. That tragic loss of the greatest show ever.

God bless

Erik

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Positive: I'm 2 years sober and 10 months game free.

Yeah. So today marks 10 months game free and sept 2nd was 2 years sobriety. It's really good being free from these things. The only rough part is when people I know are drinking or playing games and try to get me to join in. That's pretty intense to deal with and not give in to the temptation. Because it's not like I entirely disliked gaming and substances. I really liked them, a little too much. I did them so much so that I had to stop completely or face my own ruin. Now I'm free from them for as long as I'm able to stay away. It's good to be free. I feel a clarity to my mind. I feel a lightness to my bones. And a longing for more. For a better life than the one I live. It's a good longing though. It's nice to desire something more. When I was in my addictions I mostly didn't have the capacity to care or hope for more. For love or friendship. It's a slow and long process but I feel like I'm growing. I'm sort of becoming comfortable with how I am and what my life is like. I do my best at work and in relationships. But I know I fall short of Jesus example. I'm okay with that and am modestly happy with how I'm conducting myself as of late. I feel like I've improved a lot as an employee. Although my client wasn't so supportive and said I wasn't a good worker. I think I've improved a lot at work over the years and I know he's kind of just a jerk to everyone.  

I smiled at the air I breathe.

I accomplished being on schedule and doing yoga in the morning before breakfast.

I am grateful for breakfast, air, yoga, my little stand for my laptop. This stand will possibly allow me to see clients via webcam and sit with better posture on my beloved brown couch. A nice addition for, I think it was 15-20$. I'm grateful for my client who I see today and we're planning to get Korean food.

God bless

Erik

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@BooksandTrees Yeah it's not. I just get in bad situations sometimes with clients where they refuse to stop gaming around me. Generally it's been okay though and they'll stop.

Positive: The Good Place has a new season out.

Watching season 4 of the good place is pretty good. I like the main character. She's like an ethical rags to riches story. Used to be bad and now she's good. 

My neck's hurting today. Usually it only hurts on the right side but today it's both sides. So that's not good. I'm kind of tired of talking about stuff. It's been a long week. I've come to terms with Supergirl ending. It's alright. Most shows aren't going to go past five seasons and all.

I smiled at my post

I accomplished making a plan

I am grateful for my blue blanket which is large and covers me unlike my little childhood blanket. It's nice and soft and it matches the furniture in the room. It's my go to blanket for sitting on the couch. My blue sweater thing is nice too. It's a tall so it actually fits me. I really like tall clothing it makes such a difference in how well it fits.

God bless

Erik

 

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Positive: skin's clearing up again.

So that's good. My skins clearing up as I stay away from new shows for a while. I'll still spend 3-5 minutes trying one out but nothing more than that. No more full episode trial runs for me. I just finished The Good Place. Which was awesome. I really liked how they weave philosophical teachings into the show. I feel like the show is telling us that people can improve and that we're all worthy of having a chance to become good people. I think that's fair. I like their way of viewing good and bad people. I'd like it if the afterlife was similar to the way they depicted it in season 4. It would be so nice to have people go through a process to purify their souls and make them good enough to go to 'the good place' where you could see them again and not be terribly annoyed by them. I feel like I'm a person who is dedicated to goodness to some extent. I think I'd do well in a good place trial and get in eventually. I guess I always felt like I don't get rewarded for being good so I don't always feel like there's a point to being good. But over time I've found that there is a reward for being good. You feel better about yourself and your life. You don't have anxiety over doing bad things. Your conscience feels lighter. And I think it's worth the struggle to be good now.

I smiled at today's client

I accomplished waking up

I am grateful for my breakfast sandwich. One client just eats cereal for breakfast. And I'm like my breakfast sandwich is so much more nutritious than that. It has eggs, turkey bacon, whole wheat bread, cheese and spinach. It's got a lot of protein. So I'm grateful for my sandwich because it's nourishing and more so than many people get for breakfast.

God bless

Erik

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Positive: I get an extra twenty minutes to my morning today.

On TTHSat I get an extra twenty minutes in the morning to do my GQ post and eat breakfast etc. It's nice. On MWF I feel much more rushed trying to get out the door and meet my client on time. But I do make albeit barely. TuesTh I have to see my most difficult client. He is the worst client on my roster that I have to deal with. We only have about three more weeks worth of hours for him before they need to renew his hours or cancel his case. I'm hoping they cancel his case. It's not worth the 6 hours a week to be abused by this mean kid. He's someone that will probably take decades or never learn to be a nice person. He's just always going to be bad and mean to everyone around him no matter who tries to help or change him. He's just a bad person and will always be one. Pretty much. My job at this point is just to endure being around him while he's a jerk to me and his family. Also it's taking forever to get started at my new job. I'm just waiting and waiting on Li to get back to me to start. I don't know what's taking so long, but it sucks waiting and not knowing if this is actually going to happen or not. 

I smiled at taking on the job

I accomplished getting food from Walmart (pretty good deals there)

I am grateful for Walmart, my job, potential new job, Li, God, paycheck tomorrow ish, and my rug which is a continual source of good feeling getting to look at this beautiful rug beneath my feet as I watch tv. Hooray for decorations.

God bless

Erik

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Positive: I still get to keep my couch.

So I'm grateful that I get to keep my brown couch and not get kicked out of the house. My mom seems to have accepted that I'm in the living room watching tv on a couch. Which isn't a bad look. It's pretty normal for a home to have a couch and tv in the living room. I don't think I'm asking for too much to allow for this to be here. Thank God she's okay with it though. Hopefully this lasts until I move out. I'm okay with her removing my standing desk though to reduced living room clutter. I also feel more aggressive when I use that desk from the standing so I'm not sure if I even want to use it anyways. Short day today. Gonna try to deadlift. I've been feeling pretty tired from work and not having enough energy to do my workouts. I'm still trying but I'll do like one pushup and be too dead to continue. Deadlifting has still been going well though so that's good.

I smiled at my blue shirt (Supposedly the most favorite color)

I accomplished meditating through construction outside

I am grateful for my couch, my mom, tv, living room, standing desk, stand, blue, shirt, fingernails and blankets.

God bless

Erik

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Positive: I'm cutting out processed foods and sugar. 

I got a stomach ache from eating a hot dog last night. I woke up and threw out my hot dogs this morning. No more processed food or sugar as much as possible. No more deserts. They're taking a toll on my health and I can feel it. It's like my sleep isn't as deep or regular. I'm gonna keep getting my mom to buy organic chicken, turkey and beef. The healthier I can eat and live the better. I need the better quality food for my body. In some ways people who are fatter than me may even have stronger constitutions as they're able to eat all that fatty sugary food and not get sick. But my body can't handle it. I've got a sensitive just about everything including my stomach. Yep. I might make a new thing on here that says I quit deserts today. 

I smiled at my mom who made me breakfast today (even though it wasn't so good)

I accomplished throwing out hot dogs

I am grateful for sugar free foods, organic meat, parasyte, supergirl, tv, vrv, Netflix, table with carvings, freckle and wrinkle.

God bless

Erik

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Positive: we got cheese sticks

It's a funny and simple thing, but I was happy to get cheese sticks yesterday. And some chicken nuggets. These small comfort foods make me happy. We got a coupon to get $20 off of 100$ spent at Harris teeter. So we bought a lot of groceries including two pies. They were only 5$ a pie so whatever. One is a sugar free pumpkin pie. Which is really good considering it has no sugar. I wish they made more sugar free deserts I'd buy them. But alas it's not sought after in our society as of yet. We have a bunch of buddha statues around the house now. But we're christians ironically. I think I'd like it if we had some christian stuff around. Like a cross or a plaque that says something about Jesus. I've been talking less about work at home and it's working for me I think. I just feel a lot more present with whatever I'm doing. My mind isn't all caught up thinking about work during my off time. I feel way more engaged in watching tv and hanging out with my mom as such. It's kind of cool. Makes me want to continue not talking about work to not bring it home with me. Of course I dunno much else what to talk about. I saw people playing soccer yesterday and remembered how I played for 10 years. I don't think I'll play again though. It's too violent of a sport. With all the kicking and pushing. Yeah, that's okay. I think I'm going to learn how to cook a new dish. It's going to be a little bit of work but I'll get it.

I smiled at my blessings

I accomplished eating tomatoes

I am grateful for blessings, pies, tomatoes, groceries, cheese sticks, soccer, Jesus, christian swag, buddha statues, dragon decor soon to be in my room.

God bless

Erik

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Positive: I got most of the day off.

Yes it sucks to lose hours because of a client cancellation but it's also nice to not have to work those hours too. So my client cancelled and I'm just hanging out most of the day today. I figure I'll probably watch the office some. The blueberry pie turned out to be not as good as the pumpkin pie. Which is surprising as it has sugar. No matter. We'll eventually get some high quality sugar at Costco. They have good cheesecake, cakes and pies. Yeah. I'm wondering if people figured out that I changed my name but am keeping the same journal just with name changed on it. Well hopefully they figure out it's still me. I haven't paper journaled or written poems for a while. I kind of just watch tv in my spare time. Sometimes I learn a little Spanish. I Feel a bit guilty for that but not that bad. 

I smiled at the flash

I accomplished making breakfast

I Am grateful for the flash, breakfast, blueberries, pie, cheesecake, cake, ice cream, journal, poems and life.

God bless

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Positive: today's my actual day off this week

Okay so today is my day off. But I messed up something and had to spend like 30 seconds on work. So we'll just say that didn't count. I got a Flash superhero stuffed doll. He's like feet tall with a big head and little body. It's great. I hug the stuffed toy while watching the flash on Netflix. It's probably the best 50 cents I've spent on anything that cheap. O yeah I got it at a garage sale. I wish I got a supergirl one. I saw a supergirl funko pop on Craigslist but they didn't reply. Unfortunately we bought recliners that hurt my back to sit in. And now we're trying to sell and no one is buying. Ah. That's unfortunate. Sorry mom. I may have caused us to waste money on these chairs. Today I'm just going to watch tv run errands and probably go for a hike with mom. It's going to be a great Sunday. 

I smiled at my flash toy

I accomplished eating quiche (not so good but I ate it to help finish).

I am grateful for the flash, flash tv show, flash toy, garage sale I went to, puzzles, marek, supergirl, funko pop, the atom and me cuz I'm awesome.

God bless

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Positive: I had little time but still made my awesome breakfast

I love my breakfast sandwich. It's really good. It's usually better than whatever I eat for dinner or lunch. And that's cool with me. We've got to finish two so so pies pumpkin and blueberry. Then it's time to get a cheesecake or other cake/pie from Costco. Yeah. It's gonna be awesome. Costco has good sweets from what I've gathered. I only have 7 minutes to post today because I had to answer email this morning.

I smiled at the day

I accomplished making breakfast

I am grateful for the day, breakfast, Costco, cheesecake, these 7 minutes, table, notebook, usb drive, remote, and roku.

God bless

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I'm gonna try writing out my positive for the day without writing 'Positive:'. Okay so. I'm still very happy with my Flash stuffed doll purchase. It's the best 50 cents I ever spent. I still enjoy playing with the doll and watching The Flash with it on my lap. It's like having a kid or a pet. Except I don't have to take care of it really. My mom made a bunch of meatball quiche that didn't turn out so well. I could barely eat a slice. And yet this morning she was eating two slices with a pile of meatballs on top because she wants to finish the food and not waste it. That's gross to me but it's also great dedication to not wasting on her part. I probably would have tossed the stuff. 

In other news I got a job offer. This job would pay $1 an hour more and probably be better work doing outpatient therapy. The only caveat for me is that I don't feel that comfortable with the staff there. They aren't completely unbearable but I would rather get the job with Li if I can because I Felt better with her. The issue is Li isn't getting back to me about the job. It's been a month since she said I could get started and we haven't gotten started. So I texted her today and we'll see if there's any news on the new job. I've been dying to get started there because I'd finally be counting up supervision hours. Blah. Hope it happens.

I smiled at the flash doll

I accomplished taking out garbage

I am grateful for flash doll, garbage, taking out garbage, cleaning up, cleaning bathroom (need to do), slippers, heater, sweater, showers (need to shower MWF), mom who is not being too mad at me for getting bunk recliners, .

God bless

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Positive: Still working

So my new job offer is at a standstill. Li hasn't gotten back to me from my most recent text to her. This is not good but it's not completely hopeless, we'll see if something happens. That being said at least I'm still working and have a job.

I'll be pretty bummed out if Li doesn't come through with a job like she said she would. It sounded like such a good opportunity for me to get my hours at a better worksite. 

I smiled at the rug

I accomplished time managing

I am grateful for Li, new job, rug, time managing, old job, superman, wall outlet, bowl of fruit, fruit and me.

God bless

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Positive: Li got back to me.

Li asked if I can start on 11/1. She also setup a phone call for us Friday. So it looks like progress is being made with the new job. I think it'll be a slow transition but I'm not sure. I just hope supervision starts asap. 

So I'm pretty much not trying new shows for now. It caused me some acne. It's when I go and try 30 minutes of a show that I get the acne. Yeah. Uhm. Just trying to stay hydrated. Wondering what the new job will be like and how much hours I'll be getting there. I misplaced my jacket. Hopefully that turns up soon. My mom just fixed it with her sewing. I recently got over my discomfort with using the bathroom at clients houses so I could drink a ton of water. It's still uncomfortable but whatever I've got to use the bathroom if I want to drink 80oz of water a day so I'm doing it. The Flash is good as ever. I'm memorizing character names and other trivia so I can play Flash trivia with clients like I do. It's kind of fun. IE: The teleporting villain is named Shawna Baez and her boyfriend is Clay Parker. Probably no one knows that off the top of their head. Gonna stump these clients.

I smiled at doing better

I accomplished accepting that I'm probably not going to get to make up hours with a client (darn).

I am grateful for smiling, doing better, new job, li, acceptance, jacket, 80 oz of water a day, bathrooms, villains and flash.

God bless

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Positive: we are getting our microwave fixed

So that's good. It's apparently a 1300$ microwave that came with the house we're fixing now. That's mind blowing how expensive a microwave can be. They're like 30$ at Walmart. Anyways I'm still trying to talk less about work even on here. Although is talking about not talking about work talking about work? It doesn't matter. What's important is that I'm trying to limit it. I like not talking about work it makes me feel more peaceful even if work is really difficult. I dunno. I'm just enjoying rewatching The Flash and sitting here on my couch. Passing the time as best I can. With the microwave out of commission it's gross to eat cold leftovers. So I got subway. I tried talking to a girl there but it gave me so much anxiety I don't want to do that again. I'm accepting for the most part that God may just want me to live my whole life single with no friends for some reason. Maybe so I don't get distracted from work or something like that. It's odd. Early in life I had a lot of friends and girlfriends, but now there's not even a glimmer of hope for those things to come back into my life. I'm really okay with it. My life is good even without those. 

I smiled at my acceptance of my life

I accomplished eating cheesecake

I am grateful for my notebooks, acceptance, cheesecake, strawberries, sweater, t shirt, v neck, blanket, couch and selling chair.s

God bless

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Positive: I got my new job pretty much.

We're tentatively starting me on 11/1. They're going to have me slowly work up hours until I have enough clients that I'm able to leave my current job. I hope that time comes sooner than later and I get up to speed quickly. We'll see how training goes. I'll give it my best effort. I have a little more time today to write stuff. That's nice. I don't much know what I'd like to write about though. Other than work I really don't have much to talk about and I'm trying to talk less about work. So that leaves me with nothing to talk about? I guess other than work I just eat and watch tv and post on here. I workout some too. I managed to do 10 knuckle push ups which is good for me. I wasn't able to squat I just felt not up to it. That's like 3 weeks in a row with no squatting. Gotta get the squat back up. I'm committing names of characters to memory from the flash. I might keep a text doc on all the names. The new ones are Mark and Clyde Mardon. Mark is also known as weather wizard. They are brothers that both got weather controlling powers from the particle accelerator explosion. Mark sets off a tsunami that leads flash to make his first time travel adventure. 

It's kind of questionable how they just put villains in the pipeline without any trial or anything. They all just get a life sentence for being misbehaving meta humans. Some of them murder so it's more understandable. But some are just robbing banks or whatever. Is that really fair to give them life sentences? It's just a show so it's okay. It doesn't have to make perfect sense. 

I smiled at shows not making sense

I accomplished washing dishes

I am grateful for cam, dishes, shows, flash, weather wizard, mark mardon, Clyde mardon, my new flash text document, god, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, 

God bless

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Positive: bananas and yogurt are good.

I fought to not eat any desert yesterday and won. The key was substituting desert with a banana and yogurt. I was craving super hard and then ate those and was okay. It was sugar free yogurt too. So today I'll probably eat desert though. And yes watch a lot of the flash and go for a hike. A good day lies ahead of me. It's a routine and simple Iife I live, but somebody's gotta live it. It's not so bad once you get used to the repetitive nature of it. I made breakfast for my mom today. That was out of the ordinary. I'm waiting to eat desert to see if I can eat it with her. 

I smiled at repitition

I accomplished making 2 breakfasts

I am grateful for repetition, 2 breakfasts, banana, yogurt, substitution, desert, flash, hiking, good days and air.

God bless

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Yay! So you got the new job? Congratulations friend!

 

Thank you for sharing your journey here and we are so thankful for you. It’s such a joy to read how you find happiness in the small things. I smile at your posts often, and my heart overflows when you share all that you are grateful for. 

 

Have a beautiful day friend.

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