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  1. Today
  2. He seems to like to party and drink, so I don't think we'd end up dating since our interests are completely different. I'll enjoy this for what it is though!
  3. So these couple of months after I moved, I have been messing up constantly. I suck at managing my time and feels like all my goals are crumbling away like sandcastles at the beach. I have tried to control myself but my problem always comes up: I cannot control myself. One of the main problems that occurred to me was opening a new tab when I am working on either homework or other important things. I open a tab and search up random thoughts and it wastes my time. Another problem is I keep waiting to do the harder tasks and people have told me to do the harder tasks first but I always fail. This is why I am messing up now and I need advice on how to improve myself.
  4. Yesterday
  5. Thank you! (to both you and Marius!). Ohhhh believe me I have come SO close to wanting to reinstall, just to go complete a couple of stupid achievements. Maybe about 5 times I got close, thoughts creeping in going "just go do it real quick then uninstall" LOL. Thankfully I've been fending those off and reminding myself how crazy that really is. I never thought of myself as a compulsive person... I hope I can keep it up too. Counting this as my journal. Busy day (Thank God lol).
  6. Seems about right. There is that saying that one thing that distinguishes really successful people from not to successful people is their ability to just not do certain things throughout the day. I once had the idea to think before using my phone and realize the application path that I have to follow in order to reach the specific aim I use my phone for. not sure if that helps. also try to envision whether the thing you are about to do really is necessary or if you could spend your time doing something else that is more healthy for you. For me it really seems to be cutting out every little bit of instant gratification activity I have in my life. My days are really tedious and kinda boring atm but I think that is necessary before I can find enjoyment in little things again.
  7. hello this is my first time on the website i am 16 years old and looking to get over my addiction.
  8. day 25 I stood up a little too late today, so I arrived at uni only for the first two lectures to be over. Also stayed up late yesterday to finish a chapter in a textbook... I attended classes today and after that I went to my home where I continued to work on my geriatrics assignment. I think I have read about 80% of the sources that are important and now I have to write it down. Had planned to work out at 7pm today but was still reading through my sources. I played some piano today and worked on my Spanish. I'll have to eat something now and it feels like it's already too late to keep working on the geriatrics even though it doesn't feel like I accomplished much today. I might be a bit depressed mainly because I have to spend so much time on things that don't bring me instant enjoyment. It becomes better though I have the feeling. Really really slowly though. Gotta keep staying strong. I think I might have to cut the piano out as well in the moment as I don't play on planned times but just as I enjoy my day. I also feel really worked up atm and could use some release which is mainly my fucked up head and sleep-deprivation talking. I should stick more strictly to my schedule as it is the shield "against the waves of emotion" as Cam pointed out. I might just feel a bit empty atm but I think it's mostly withdrawal. Thanks for sticking here with me, it's good to see others on the ride as well. 😄 Sports will begin tomorrow I hope. Gotta calm down, eat something and spend some more time with a good book before I try to sleep.
  9. Congrats on the one month mark, that's a huge achievement! Hope that you'll be able to keep this pace up for a couple more months hehe 🙂
  10. Day 19 of no games, still struggling a little bit with motivation and sleep. Think once I completely stop using my phone for entertainment I'll be able to completely focus on the tasks I need to do.
  11. It will be a one-sided romance as far as I'm aware for the time being, giving me time to show him what I have to offer. I always go 100% immediately into things I like, I have no chill. I'm just going to act like he's my half-boyfriend for now because that's what I want him to be. edit: I’m mostly exaggerating but the above mindset might help me get him to like me
  12. I met up with the hottest guy I've ever had sex with in my life yesterday. The sex was extremely good: he's muscular, hung, tall, and he lasts a very long time in bed just like me. We went 5 rounds and he slept over at my house which I never let people do. He thinks I'm extremely good in bed too (I am 😀) and we will be meeting up again. I already want him to be my boyfriend. However, this is stupid of me to want since I don't know him that well and he might not even want to be in a monogamous relationship. I was able to meet him because I was slightly persistent in messaging him, which is something I normally don't do but I went along with it because he seemed to like my pics and responded to my messages. The reason why we met though is because of the right timing where I was in his neighborhood at 1am. Now that we've met up once though we want to meet up more on a regular basis. I'm not confident this guy would want to be in a relationship, but we'll see. I’m probably just another guy that’s convenient for him and good enough to satisfy a need. Why would he go for me? I'd be really happy if he showed initiative for something deeper, but I can't have hope that will happen because I need to guard my heart against disappointment in a difference in expectations. I think he just wants to be friends with benefits but I guess I do have hope that he'll fall in love with my sensitive and happy personality. I need to remember to play it cool though. Too much too soon is cringe and weird!
  13. Last week
  14. Dec 5, 2021 7 Things I'm grateful for: -Discovered that allowing myself to do "3" or "7" pieces of a jigsaw puzzle is a nice way to "zone out" or clear my head between doing things through the day. Nice little intermittent "reward" instead of games! -Having resisted games for exactly one month now. -Spaghetti & Mushrooms -New Shelf paper -Calm Sunday afternoons -Wood floors -My Creator and all He's given us (yeah, that should be #1) ... All for today. Have a productive and happy week, to any reading this.
  15. Day 18 of no games, still working on limiting phone usage
  16. day24 cont. I've been working on my geriatrics assignment and it turns out to be so much information stored everywhere on the web that it's hard to get a sufficient understanding. We are only allowed to use 15 references in total but should definitely include primary literature as well. This sucks. I'm also not sure on how to cite correctly from guidelines as they provide really good sentences that I would actually like to quote directly. Also those sentences in the guidelines include literature references that are consistent inside the guideline but I'm not sure if I should add those blank numbers in my assignments where they might be confusing or just uninformative. not sure. I'll ride home again from the library and will continue with the assignment after eating some food. This assignment is due on Friday so there is actually enough time still. Nevertheless I'll have a practical test on Tuesday and I'm not prepared for that as well. Gotta keep going. It sucks that my job has to include computers so much as they remind my of dark times and tempt me. I'll buy a used smaller laptop, so sitting in front of it should be different and create more beautiful memories. Hoping for the best. Didn't waste much time today, even though I stood up late again as I couldn't sleep much last night. I hate this club... No new apartments in sight also, so I'll have to endure atm. Bed time is about right though. I'll keep it up. Tomorrow will be Monday which means that beginning tomorrow I will stick to a body-weight training program that should keep me busy and healthy for a year. It will be hard but fruitful.
  17. Hi! Happy to hear that you're doing well and continuing your detox 🙂 Hope that the rest of December will match the positive energy of November for you!
  18. day 24 I succeeded in the dopamine detox yesterday, went out to buy groceries and cleaned the house. Gotta have to work on a project today for the whole day which sucks but should be a a good exercise in willpower. will do that now. talk here later
  19. Day 65 Took plenty of time off from work during November. Was really great to spend time with family, and strengthen bonds. Been chill, will continue to do so. This month going to watch the previous Spider-Man flicks in anticipation of the new movie coming out.
  20. I can relate. When I play, I am criticizing the game in my head and wrestling with my inner Self. Yet there I sit and play. Go figure.
  21. Day 17 of no games, still going strong today, going to do some cleaning around the house and prepare to rent out for winter term.
  22. Wanted to keep sleeping, didnt have enough willpower to wake up.
  23. Hmm, I agree with your perspective on this a lot, this is very good insight that I will use to apply these to my own experiences and situations~ Thank you so much for sharing!
  24. Oh! I forgot something really important to add. Two weeks ago, I did a ./time played on my 17 wow toons and almost fainted: 2 years and 45 days plus minutes I had totally played. That's like someone dying and losing 2 years of their life. This makes me so sad. 🥲 In wow in the beginning when you logged in, that use to show daily. Now it does not show unless you directly type it in with each character. I also learned that you can request a copy of your data. Blizzard saves all your conversations on wow--just a side note. Talk about Big Brother. 😡
  25. I am new to GameQuitters and I imagine I am quite the unicorn here. First of all, I am literally as old af gal, but I am teen at heart! As a young adult in the early 1980’s, I enjoyed hitting the game rooms in the mall. I never played console games. But as a young English teacher during a time when the only technology we had was an electric typewriter, I had no time to even think straight for the first 8 years of my career. But then computers where phased into education and in 1985, I bought my first PC—a Radio Shack Tandy 1000. *giggles at that piece of history* Then Microsoft software was soon the main focus, so my computer at home had to work synergistically with my work computers. Around this time, a student in my middle school class said, “Mrs. _____, have you ever played Diablo? You would really love this game since it is kinda Medieval and you love that time period. I’ll burn you a disk and you can try it.” (First of all, I was so clueless at this time, I was not aware that this was illegal. Sorry. Blizzard.) Soon D2 game out and I purchased it and soon made a bunch of gaming friends my own age. Then life brought me a deluge of “lemonade” into my life. Within a span of five years, both of my parents passed away and my husband went off the deep end into full-blown addiction after 14 years sobriety (we never had children)…while I was working full-time teaching and working on a PhD. As crazy as life became, I managed to squeeze in a limited amount gaming time. It was my crutch and online friends were a support along with real life friends. Around this time, my gaming friends convinced me to jump over to World of Warcraft. They had already been playing it for 6 months and I had catching up to do in vanilla wow. Living in a small rural village and working at k-12 school kept me very busy. Even though I played wow, I excelled at work and won several state educational awards while completing my PhD in medical field. I am an over-achiever. But it is difficult to meet new people for friendship or dating when 85% of the people in town you have taught over the years. The choices are limited in this small “pond.” After the stress of my divorce and the toll of its emotional abuse, I developed terrible anxiety. I still played wow as an emotional crutch and still do to this day. In 2019, I made the decision to retire after teaching English for 37 years. This decision was bittersweet, because my best friend “M,” a math teacher who I worked with for 33 years, passed away suddenly from an aggressive form of breast cancer in 2017. She and I had planned on retiring together when the Class of 2019 graduated. We taught middle school when that class came to us in 6th grade and taught them in grades 6-8. The school played “musical teachers” and moved us back up to high school. Then taught them until senior year. Sadly my friend could not keep her promise, so I stayed until 2019 for both of us. (The kids really appreciated that.) I knew after my June retirement, I knew retirement was going to hit me like a brick wall. So I signed up to take some classes online at Cornell that summer and jumped into that and ended the summer with another certificate. Now that I was retired, I promised myself to give myself one year of retirement, without making any plans to work. I needed to let the “dust settle.” Plus honestly, all my teacher friends wanted me to substitute. I really needed time away from my job to ponder that scenario. Plus I did plan a week trip at the coast in Massachusetts (Rockport, Gloucester, and Salem) when school started in September, so I would not cry and miss teaching. I promised my old 11th graders, who were seniors the following school year, that I would help with their college essays in the October. Sadly the English teacher who replaced me would not know the kids well-enough to do that task. I spent a week (free of pay) with the kids in the guidance office helping them get their ducks in a row and essays completed. I loved it! But I knew in my heart, it was time for me to exit stage left…without subbing. Of course the new word Covid became the new buzzword in December 2019, and my January 2020, the world was rocked with the Covid pandemic. During the time, I started reading a great deal with a Kindle Unlimited membership. I explored different genres and authors. I befriended some authors and started doing some ARC (advanced reading copy) and editing for them. Some authors were excellent and some were pretty shitty. I decided, “Heck! I am going to write a novel!” So I started a collage/scrapbook of research, planned out the novel outline, and started the rough draft---3 chapters in! But I am stuck, and to be honest, wow is not helping. Through the pandemic quarantine and being the introvert that I am, I dove into wow’s last expac because I had the time. I feel as if I lost the ambitious gal that I once was and I feel like a blob that is going to waste. I want to finish my novel and I have some health issues to work on since a bad fall I took May 2021. I need to regain my strength back. With that said, I am terrified of getting Covid because I have a respiratory issue. Yes I got vaccinated and received a booster, but my anxiety is paralyzing. I want to focus on improving health and my writing. Wow needs to slide into the background or be gone all together. And to be honest, here is precisely where I am stuck. Wish me luck. (Sorry this turned into War and Peace!) 😊
  26. Ikar

    Ikar's Diary

    Alright, no more numbers of days in this journal, just a few sentences/stats for the last few days: Gym/walk number: 2 My German Erasmus application is probably not going to work out. I think I goofed around too much and didn't communicate with the people in November. Sold a chunk of my drums, so I have only a few pieces of equipment left. Worked on the university project. Jammed with a guy playing the guitar with me singing and drumming in an improvised way. Turned out the situation with the girl I described above was more nuanced than I thought it would be. Visited my grandma on Friday after work, because I wanted to talk this over with someone I trust and I needed to get my plan together. The case is still active and I'm vigilant. I'm actually enjoying this situation. All in the game.
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