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  2. Day 9 ; No crave to games but for facebook and youtupe . Wasting time thinking . Tomorrow will be better .
  3. Today
  4. Day 9 of no gaming and my anxiety levels are to the point of making me feel physically sick. Also, I'm still waiting for my account to be deleted. I longer have a use for this forum because it's obvious that no one bothers reading the posts I make.
  5. Day #2 Gratitude journal I am grateful for the professional psychologist that helped me find a specific specialist. i am grateful to my great colleagues who are nice and supportive. One amazing thing that happened/I did today A long legal and financial event in my life came to a close. Workout/run Woke up at 4 30 and went out running. Meditation In the subway, I did not hold on to anything. I was balancing on my own without support. Visualisation I drew a portrait of a woman which I saw in the weekend. It was the closest I have been to a woman in 10 years. Daily affirmation I am taking up space and that is ok. i am exploring hobbies because I want it Reading + taking notes Nothing Getting to bed before 9pm No, I fell asleep when I came home from work Weekly Goal(s) not touch my gaming computer Monthly Goal Go to a art class or take a singing lesson 3 Month Goal stopped playing video games finished a course in personal finance enjoyable Christmas with family What went well today: I finished a task at work that was overdue What I could have done to make my day better: I should have brought a snack my sweater is damaged. What I will do differently tomorrow: i will bring a snack
  6. Ikar

    Ikar's Diary

    Those are exactly my thoughts! I'm aware of the fact that I still have to study, so I will make sure I am caught up on uni work in the next 2 weeks, while I am still at home. I think I got the grip on at least the very basic time usage in my life in the past several months, so it shouldn't be a problem for me. Thanks for your post! It made me smile 🙂
  7. Chapter 2: Action Step 1. What actions will I take to set up greater barriers to entry for my games? Uninstall Games – Done. Unfortunately, some of my games have a very quick re-install time. Dead Cells in particular only takes 10 minutes to reinstall, so I should put up some additional barriers. Delete your accounts and characters – I play single-player games, so this would translate into deleting my save files. I’m not going to do this since I plan to play again in moderation after the challenge. Choose what to do with my consoles – I have a PS4 which I use for streaming video. I will purchase a cheap streaming device, then visit my parents and drop off the PS4 in my old bedroom closet so it’s not easily accessible. I will purchase the new device by the end of the day today. I'll drop off the PS4 at my parents' house this Saturday when I visit to play Frisbee golf with my Dad. Unsubscribe to Gaming Youtube Channels – Done. Block Sites you want to avoid – I’m not doing this for now. I don't frequent gaming forums or news sites, so I doubt this will be an issue. If it becomes one, I'll install blocking software.
  8. Vera

    Moving on

    Haha, that's my mom too. She's obsessed with cakes atm and it's stretching my self-control to have so much sweet stuff around the house. :(
  9. Thank you @BooksandTrees, I truly appreciate it! Yes, I agree, having financially stability is the key for me. To have my own voice and power. Btw- I hope you are doing well today! Today is a good day. Not much to report. Just sorta living life. Thank you for listening. Have a beautiful day my friends!!!
  10. Hi!! Congrats on your big move!! I think living on campus will be great for you! From my experience, I was able to walk to club meetings and campus events. Just hang out with others in the dorm. Walk to sporting events. But this could be a double edged sword. You have to make sure you keep your focus on school and working and pick just a couple of activities that you would like to invest your time and energy in. You sound very logical and level headed so you will be fine! Congats my friend!!!!!
  11. Day 0. "Screaming at myself." Friday, I flew solo for the first time. Making sure about 200 customers get the experience they should be getting from about 80 actors. I went superwell. The producer was happy with me, everything just fell into place. I feel like I can truly call myself a production leader now. I'm still a bit anxious about telling people what to do. I like being likeable and popular. And sometimes having to boss people around is going to be part of my job. I guess I'll take that aspect one part at a time. Saturday it all fell apart. I'd been using Instagram to look up porn actresses. I viewed one account and then blocked it for my own safety. But there's so many of them. I kept looking some up, blocking them again and so on. In the end, I turned off my +18-browser filter and succumbed to porn. I was ready to write (another) Day 0-post like this one on Saturday already. But it went even deeper. I felt like I had given up and that if the dam cracks a little bit, you might as well break it all down, flush it and start again from scratch. My first drink of the day was a beer at 10 am that day. I spent almost the entire day playing video games... Same thing today... I can't seem to fucking stop. As it was all happening it was like I was no longer in control of my own body. I could feel parts of my brain taking over others. All I can do was take a backseat to it all, and watch. I remember distinctly screaming at myself as I let the compulsions take the upper hand, as if I was trapped inside a body that was no longer my own. I've been thinking about how that happened. I no longer had Netflix to rely on to relax. Nor did I start meditating or working out again. I also hadn't drank any coffee or alcohol due to a stomach infection. Right now those are my major stress relievers, Netflix, coffee and alcohol. I should probably add working out, meditating and seeing my friends more to that. I went out Saturday evening, though. It hit the spot. Singing and dancing the pain away. I'm not going to cut out alcohol or coffee yet. I'm going to keep abstaining from games, porn and watching Netflix in bed. And I'll try to add sports, being social and meditating to my weekly or daily habits. I hope that's going to be the right step in the right direction. Sometimes it all feels like I'm doing some sort of weird experiment on myself. Recent highlight: I was the solo production leader last Friday night and I nailed it! Budget status: My unemployment money file has been sent and I've just opened a shared bank account with my girl. Come January, we'll be splitting lots of costs, so yay! My one goal for the next 24h: Not break into two pieces and play games. Porn, I'm not so scared of for now. I need to delete the mobile game I've been binging. Maintained habits: -Daily Japanese lesson - Still going strong. -Make the bed - Still going strong. -Drink enough water - Takes a bit of extra effort now and then. This'll probably pick up again this week after I clean the kitchen. -Brush teeth three times a day, floss and clean once a day - Slowly becoming a staple. -No daydrinking at home alone: I have one more beer to consume. Then I'll be off the sauce unless there's company involved. -Meditate once this week: not yet done -Be social once this week: not yet done -Exercise once this week: not yet done
  12. @seriousjay That's some good advice to me haha, thankyou! I coincidentally signed up for meetup today. Saw it a few years ago, but most the events in my city are far. Tho this time i'm willing to give it a go :)
  13. Day 238 17.11.19 Gratitude journal Today I am grateful for finally being productive. Today I am grateful for staying strong against my inner temptations. One amazing thing that happened/I did today 1) was really down on motivation at lunch time but after a bit (and with the help of cooking myself something tasty^^) I managed to pull myself back together Workout/run more than 12k steps 5.5km running 1h workout at the gym Meditation 21min (in the morning and the evening) Visualisation and daily affirmation did a bit of my affirmation and visualisation in the morning Reading (6.5hour(s) of studying for the next exam today) studied 6.5h, read around 2 hours, did my spanish session and listened again to another podcast episode my wake-up time 08:53 Weekly Goal(s) start waking up before 7am regularly, (maybe another month of miracle morning is in order), study everyday, have perfect days in a row and find healthy and productive ways to relax Monthly Goal to study everday no matter how small the amount, be more grateful for everything in life, find the joy of living in the moment, think hard about my values and what kind of person I want to be 3 Month Goal getting my degree, avoid the comfort zone as much as possible and try to get 90 days of no webnovels, sweets and porn done! What went well today: (NP:1/NW:0/NS:1/NM:11) did my meditation and spanish with a bit extra, studied, had a nice workout at the gym, the cravings I talked about yesterday stopped (after I went on a detailed research if I really need it or not which was an hour long fight against myself) and I hope I am mentally far more stable now^^ What I could have done to make my day better should have studied an half an hour more to get to the planned amount again 😞 What I will do differently tomorrow/What I have planned for tomorrow: wake up before 8, study at least 7h, go to the gym training, mediate a bit more Weekly summary, thoughts and improvements for the future ------
  14. Day #0 . Around 3 am Saturday I turned off the PS4, I had just maxed out the first 55 levels of the new Call of Duty. I have started at 9pm Friday with a 20 minute break to chat with my wife on the phone. As I lay in bed trying to fall asleep I reflected on my day. My wife was out of town for work but close (few hours away). We had couples counseling on Weds, and the previous weekends gaming was a hot topic of discussion. On Friday morning my wife invited me up to her work retreat, offering to find a sitter for the kids. I was genuinely touched by this offer since our marriage is on the rocks. I decided it would be not cool to spring that on the kids. Thanked her for the offer. At work all the people involved in the gaming charity Extra Life were setting up and it was a typical laid back day so I played CoD on lunch break and MTGA on my second monitor while doing some easy tasks. After going home and doing the dad things I plugged right in with the intent to stop at 10 or 11. Anyways I started to think of ways to cover up my gaming, so I wouldnt be tired the next day etc. Luckily my higher power kicked in and reminded me that this kind of thinking was clearly addict thinking. I did some pen and paper journaling and decided to call my sponsor in the morning. When I talked to him, he was clear that we both knew I was in my addict mode with gaming and I need to do something or I would eventual relapse in my other program as well. On top of blowing my marriage up further. So after letting my wife know I had binged. I unplugged the ps4 and xbox, uninstalled youtube and reddit from my devices. when to sleep about 11 pm. Day#1 Did all my fatherly duties. Signed up for Game Quitters. Watched Cars on Disney + with my daughter. Let my son play switch while I read up on this site. Signed up for a local chapter of a gaming 12 step program (seems to be online only voice meetings, better than nothing I guess) . Did some Boy scouts stuff with the son, took my daughter for a bike ride. Got angry with my kid over nonsense (probably just anxiety related from quitting) . Made a list of goals I want to achieve in the near future. Going to text with my sponsor then watch some Mandalorian on Disney + to see what the hype is all about and goto bed. My wife is barely talking to me and really hurt. I suspect it will be this way for a while but I hope eventually she will understand I need to be supported in this as much as I was my 12 step program to get the peace and serenity we both want.
  15. 2019-11-17: day 17 90 day detox: | ####~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ | 18.9% Complete Today: went to sleep ~12.30am woke up 8.30am brush teeth, breakfast, tea Wedding Planning Activities: breakfast and tea prayed Called vendors Went to networking event Today was tough. We spent most of the day working on parts of the wedding that need to come together. All of the vendors are still a question for us. We do the research but then find ourselves choosing between the cheaper option and the better option which means adjusting our budget. The thing about a budget is if you add money somewhere you need to take it from somewhere else. On top of that my fiance and I got into a fight over something really didn't need to turn into an argument. I got very upset and went for a walk where we talked on the phone still arguing. I came back, we hugged each other and cried for a bit. The issue itself is still unresolved for me. I really wanted to end the conversation and just switch on a game and switch off. I guess the one victory here for me is I didn't My plan for tomorrow: Tomorrow: wake up 6.30am morning routine learn Scala go to work go to sleep by 12am read Lord of the Rings before bed Activities: Learn Scala pray cook work on video game a bit at night
  16. Hi all, I’m a 40 year old gaming addict. I have a marriage in crisis, 2 kids under 10(one of which loves his Switch and Fortnite), and a career that is good in many aspects but is also enabling my gaming addiction. Like many my age I grew up with gaming and have had done a tour of duty in the MMO world. Games as a service ie battle passes and achievement grinds work REALLY well on me. I’m have been in a 12 step program for sex addiction and pornography for about 2 years now. I have been able to maintain a year of sobriety currently. My therapist, sponsor , and feedback group have all helped me get sober and have all had to hear about my habitual crises in my relationship with my wife around gaming. When I was initially getting sober from pornography and other issues around sex I reduced my access to social media and content on my phone. Late night gaming was coupled with pornography use for me in very intertwined ways. I boxed up my gaming PC, put accountability software on my mobile devices, started monitoring screen time etc. Most of that was to ease the tension in the house with my spouse due to the trauma I had inflicted via my sexual betrayals. The xbox and ps4 stayed out since they were multi-media devices not just game machines…(convenient right). Over the last 6-8 months gaming has come back hard in my life. After time, I slowly got back into games like Fortnite and Hearthstone, always new content to pay attention to. Filthy casual I know, but I thought after a couple decades of being hardcore I could ease up a bit. I’m a dad now. My therapist has long recommended I stop gaming all together but I just didn’t want to give it up. It defined too much of who I am. For my career, I work in game development (technical art side of things). I always thought that if I was going to get clean and abstinent from games I would have to change my career. I even tried in this last year but after a 3 month job search (gaming as an industry can be brutal) I got a good paying job at a company close to home. Turns out its a VERY laid back environment that has helped my addiction come roaring back. I feel like an alcoholic who works at a brewery with a tap room, not exactly supportive to getting sober. If I'm to cut out games 100% I'm not sure HOW I could even do that with my current job. I'm gunning for no games at home at all. I joined Game Quitters after a late night binge on this Friday night playing into the morning hours. I was honest with my spouse even though gaming is extremely triggering for her. I disconnected the consoles, removed reddit and youtube from my devices. I’m going to look into setting up some parental controls on myself, since screen time stuff has worked for me in the past. I’m hopeful I can apply what I learned kicking pornography and apply it to online gaming. Thanks for reading.
  17. IMPORTANT AND URGENT: The Science of Well-Being (it's not complete yet without the passing grades of homework; closes tonight for me, so I'm good though I was supposed to pay for the course certificate) and clean-up around the house (expecting something a bit more before my sister comes home from uni for Thanksgiving - I know I still have time left to give her organic peanut butter cups and cookie-creamed product placement from Walmart as a gift) IMPORTANT BUT NOT URGENT: Project Exodus (9/20 complete - on hiatus mode due to workbook, will resume by Friday), my 52-week Bible reading plan (still 47/52 complete - to be completed over Christmas break from workbook hopefully), the T-Books w/ fam (20% complete; on hold), Isaiah: A CBS (Community Bible Study) Spin-Zone Workbook (working on Days 2 & 3 of 7 for Lesson 10), and the OT/NT walkthrough (paused due to workbook) URGENT BUT NOT IMPORTANT: Time Bomb: an old-school fanfic from 2013-14 (it has been 5 days since creating new content) and my comic project (on hiatus for 3 months, no further signs of urging to do more artwork since I DNF'ed (did-not-fnished) the sky) NEITHER IMPORTANT NOR URGENT: my 6-year old blog (this deserves love with entries taken from a plum primrose journal I got from Goodwill back in August 2018, I just want to transfer it to the computer so badly it'll only happen every two weeks while I work...)Bookish Update Time: a multitude thereof - Face to Face Book 2 (stopped over halfway in the middle of a preface); Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman (will plan to do chapter 2+); A Kids' Guide to America's First Ladies by Kathleen Krull (Thank God! I survived the book with Trump and the epilogue being falsely so-called yesterday. Man, the last portrait was soo realistic, I was impressed.); Chocolate Chip Cookie Murder by Joanna Flunke (around 3% complete); and 5 Levels of Leadership (will do Level 4+ AFTER The Science of Well-Being) Author's Note: Tomorrow, my weight loss clinic appointment was scheduled for the morning, which is 10am. I have to be there 15 minutes before. I wanna do it for medical reasons. 1. I wanna go low-carb and sugar-free at the same time because the holidays are coming and I have plans to detoxify my body system from processed foods especially the frozen entrees I knew for sure I can't wait to just love to HATE! That means I have to eat fresh all the time and cook more and more. But it'll likely happen on the radar at some point in the future. Anyways, you'll never know what is gonna happen to me once when I had my diet plans set up along with the incoming prescription drug coverage (testosterones are killing me now since I have PCOS, so it's not natural for a woman to physically look like that). I have to take it by the end of a month or two until I have a boyfriend who's gonna be my perfect Mr. Right to elope for life! 2. Walking 30 minutes a day 5 times a week. I just tried for a short term and it doesn't work for a longer term. I am recommitting myself to this habit. 3. Drink lots of fluids. I am trying my best, especially after I donated blood to save lives a week ago.
  18. I should've posted in the afternoon instead of right when I woke up so I'd actually have time to think things over. Anyway, I'm thinking of having my account deleted and leaving this forum. I'm not really getting anything out of it. I never thought I was addicted to gaming; it's just a coping method for an incredibly boring and unfulfilling life. I haven't played any games for 8 days and already I've been sucked into something new to get over my problems. I'm anxious to the point of nausea right now. None of my friends are talking to me either so I have no one to discuss these things with. I'm just so done with everything.
  19. Welcome to GameQuitters! Good luck... 🙂
  20. Good for you, man. I also don't plan to stop playing video games altogether, I simply want to be intentional about how much and why I play. I want my habits to help me accomplish my goals, not distract me from them. I feel that going the full 90 days will give me enough distance to decide what role - if any - I want games to play in my life. Keep going through November at least. I'd encourage you to think about extending the challenge to 60 or 90 days, but you do what you think is right for you. If you find you can stick to the limits you set for yourself after just 30 days, great. The point of all this - as I understand it - is to make your habits intentional and conscious rather than compulsive and unconscious.
  21. Hello lovely community, its been a while i posted on here cause life has been really stressful and changed a lot since i quit gaming 1,5 years ago. So yes i didnt touch a game for that long. Never had the intention to do so but once i started i extended the 90 days to 180 and so on. So, the 1,5 years have really not been easy cause i had and still have to deal with a lot of psychic bs, found a new job, quit it again, moved to a very big city for a new job 1 month ago. And idk what it is. My life is pretty filled. I have hobbies. I dont have friends yet but some people to hang out with and iam very open when it comes to meeting people. And then, out of f****** nowhere i promise, it hits me. This urge to play again. And this happened the complete last half year. I even have dreams about playing...something i never had when i first quit games. So i have read quiet some journals here and i know craving is nothing super weird when you stop.. but after such a long time? Anyone else who has been off gaming for a long time experience this? Iam super scared to relapse, cause i know im my current situation not going out anymore and meeting people would be my social suicide. And i dont wanna be that overweight unhappy person anymore i have been 1,5 years ago. Anything i can dooo? I really dont know what cause i keep me busy, my job is demanding, i have some guy i see on and off, i dont even feel lonely .... But iam scared of myself and that b**** who just wants to sit at home and play ;((((
  22. During my experiment so far I made a realization: Gaming is small part of my life, not my entire life. I read through the entire Respawn e-book and modules. I've implemented some of the ideas presented, and noticed improvements. For one, managing my time has gotten better, among other aspects with my life. All in all, I've looked back at my relationship towards gaming. It's never been an issue for me, do I get sick of it sometimes? Yes of course, just like anything. To be honest, I do not feel as though I need to do a full 90-Day Detox anymore. I'm going to finish November, because I think taking a month to challenge myself is a good thing to do. For me, gaming can have a place in my life. A minor part, a supporting role. An extra in the feature film that's my life. I've learned a lot during this time, not only about myself, but about how I can manage my life. I'm not going to say that gaming addiction is not real, it certainly is. I think there are similar people to me in this regard. Those who do game, not to astronomical levels but perhaps "default" to it since it's all they really did. For those people, who felt as though they want to experiment with their life, I think just taking a month off from gaming can be just as beneficial as the 90 Day Detox. At the end of the day, everyone is different. Some people need longer or shorter than others to adjust their lifestyle. I'll continue to update as this month continues, and I wish anyone luck who wants to quit permanently, or only for a bit!
  23. Yesterday
  24. Day 8 of no video games and I'm starting to run out of things to talk about in this journal. Nothing in my life has changed.
  25. Action Step 1: Reasons I Played Games: Stress-Relief. Sense of Adventure and Grand Purpose Sense of Achievement Progress is quick, measurable, and comes with rewards. Challenge. Challenge is always just enough to push me, rarely enough to overwhelm. Quiets my mind. I can get lost in the activity and my worries, mental arguments, etc disappear. Novelty. New quests, new weapons, new bosses. I think the 4th reason is my biggest one. I can "zone out" when I play a game. In a way that I can't do when I watch TV. I still feel restless when I watch TV unless I'm eating or stretching at the same time. Playing a game engages all my attention better than TV does. It relaxes me to play a game and listen a podcast in the background. The only other thing that absorbs my attention to the same degree is reading a really good novel for the first time. I can get sucked into a book to the same degree. I'll need to find some other way to quiet my mind and get lost in an activity. Reasons to Quit Playing Games: To Avoid: Sabotaging my health through staying up late and eating junk food. Sabotaging my self-esteem by not sticking to the limits I set on playing time. Gaining weight from the snacking I usually do when I play. Neglecting my work responsibilities Cancelling social events because I’m tired and feel bad about myself. To Achieve: Better Sleep. Fat Loss by controlling my diet and avoiding sugary foods. Greater Self-Esteem and Trust through discipline and sticking to my commitments
  26. Day 2 Recap of yesterday's Goals: Eat Paleo: ✔️. No Video Games: ✔️. Go to bed by Midnight on Weekends, 11:30 on Weekdays: ✔️ Goals for today: Eat Paleo. No Video Games. Go to bed by 11:30. What I'm thankful for: I have a nice coffee shop near my house that's great for doing work or reading. My Health Insurance from my job is very good so I can deal with unexpected injuries. Summary: Did some work at a local coffee shop, then went to the gym. Tweaked my shoulder on the last rep of Overhead Press. I've tweaked it before through Jiu-Jitsu. I think it's a nerve issue and not a muscle issue. I'm seeing a good chiropractor about it. If it still hurts tomorrow, I'll schedule an appointment with him this week. Went home and stretched, foam rolled, ate lunch and watched TV. I'm back at the coffee shop now to write this and go through Exercise 2 of Respawn. I've got a date in an hour and a half which will meet my Date/week goal for this week. I'll likely have a few hours of free time after the date during which I'd normally play games. I plan to batch-cook shepard's pie for the week, watch an hour max of TV, then read 'till 11:30. Goals for the week (Counting Sunday as the Start of the Week): 3 Gym Workouts: 1/3 so far. Go on One Date/week: ✔️
  27. This happened with my mom getting angry at my food choices when I tried cooking healthy meals
  28. Im back , I was gone from friday till today! The book I got that from is called "Atomic Habits" by James Clear. Its one of the best books I ever read, I am going through it a second time at the moment. Its really great and not that long too, the audiobook on audible is like 5 hours. Cant recommend it enough!! So about my weekend. Friday was kind of shit I got into kind of a situation on my way to uni where a guy pushed me off my bike because I kind of made a mistake. He was kind of in the right but still overreacted and this situation bothered me for the entire day because I was thinking so much about it. I had trouble listening in the lecture and I was kind of in shock for a while, I am like really bad at handling situations like that and I was already super stressed so it just made it worse. But friday night was pretty awesome, I went to my girlfriends birthday party and it was very fun. I really managed to relax and enjoy the evening, I connected with a lot of her friends that I didnt really know before it was really great. And on saturday morning me and my girlfriend both woke up with a decent hangover. We then went to her parents and spent the day with her family which was also great because I get along with them very well and they are really nice people. On saturday night I had a little breakdown though. Because this week was just so stressful I got like 30% done of what I wanted to do. And for my job as a research assistant where I am supposed to do like 10 hours a week I didnt do anything at all. This week was extra horrible because me and my friend had to do our last lab report and it cost the whole wednesday and thursday and we are still not finished. So I lost wednesday, thursday, saturday and half the friday. But its ok its all gonna get better after this week because then all the lab work is over and I finally have time to do more for my other courses again. My girlfriend also did a good job of calming me down. Today we had a nice breakfast with her family and then I went straight home to get some uni stuff done. On the way I continued to listen to the atomic habits audiobook and it gave me quite some ideas. There was a part about making good habits easy to do. Like if you want to workout make sure your gym bag is packed, you eat something that is healthy and provides energy. Or if you want to study make sure that before you want to start, that your desk is clean, you have a water and maybe a coffee and a snack. All in all it was about minimizing friction when it comes to establish your habits. I think this is a great idea and I am gonna start doing this now. Prepare as much as I can the night before and make it really easy to perform my deeds. I also watched a motivational video from Joe Rogan which kind of got me aswel.He was basically saying that you are the hero in your own movie and right now the movie is just starting and you are being the loser. And now its about time to get your shit together and emerge as the fking hero you are! This really got me especially because it was showing scenes of the movie limitless which I always found super motivating and inspiring. Here is a link to the video if anyone cares to watch it : After my uni stuff I went to the gym, which I am very glad because since my lower back injury I hardly went to the gym at all because I cant do my favorite exercises : squats and deadlifts. But I just did some other exercises instead. In the shower I had another very nice moment. I realised that this wekk was really amazing and that I felt good the majority of the time. Actually till friday. Just friday was bad and also just the first half of the day and here I was crying about how shit my week was. I realised I have to be more positive in my thinking and self talk. One bad day shouldnt kill a week. Maybe I will start a gratefulness journal or something , to keep my focus on the good stuff. Now I am gonna plan my week , because the last week I sometimes found myself being confused about what to do. And this confusion took away quite some productivity. Have a great week guys!
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