Jump to content

Read: A Guide to Quit Gaming for One Year

All Activity

This stream auto-updates     

  1. Today
  2. Cam Adair

    Escape to reality day 148

    Great update! So happy to hear you're on the right track.
  3. Will

    Will's Journal

    Day 20/90 Kate Beckinsale took up most of my day. I've had similar problems during this detox before now but never on this scale. Missed replying to some messages but I did something that I should've done earlier
  4. Matt S

    Dear Diary...

    It's important to kind of interact with yourself as you would with a close friend. Pretend I came to you with some terrible news after doing so well for 60 days. You wouldn't swear at me and make me feel bad for messing up once in 60 days right? Same thing with yourself. You're the most important person in the world to yourself and you need to treat yourself that way. Discipline can be tough. If you mess up at work because you are lazy for example (not saying you are) then that's the time to say ok, I need to not be lazy. But if you mess up because you were emotionally distraught, going through a lot, and struggling with the debilitating illness of addiction, then that's ok. Don't scorn about it and scold yourself. This is the support you need. Give yourself a metaphoric hug and say it's ok. You got this. This is your time to pick yourself up because you are getting to know your True Self and you can get through anything you put your mind towards. Be proud of yourself, empathetic with yourself, and true to yourself. But don't over analyze. I wouldn't make another journal. Honestly, this journal you have here is enough awareness for yourself. Look at the issues you're having and writing about. I think that's more than enough information for yourself. Now it's time to compile that information while you're recording it. What are your major themes? You get stressed by your ex girlfriend, you don't like that you drink or do drugs at times, and you feel unfulfilled at work. If a major decision enters your life like sleeping with your ex girlfriend, then ask how this will impact your true feelings. If your friend asks which restaurant to eat at, just choose one and don't go nuts over it. It's when you sit and over analyze your decisions is when you start going crazy and that's when you get angry and the most stressed. Keep lightly exercising, venting your emotions through conversation, and expressing yourself. The more you let go the further you'll go.
  5. Matt S

    Maintenance of the PhoenixKing

    What I've been talking to my yoga instructors about recently is the ability to recognize what your body is going through. Trying to understand its energy. Are you lacking energy or are you full of it? Are you anxious or relaxed? What helps during those situations to alleviate any tension or add some support to yourself? Change up your routine before bed. Draw a picture, plan your outfit for the next day, prepare your food and stuff, or just listen to mellow music in a dim lit room and move your head back and forth to get into a nice relaxing mood. Meditation doesn't require pure concentration. Sometimes a little atmospheric music or hangpan drum music can go a long way.
  6. Matt S

    JustTom's Journal 2: Summer Edition

    Entrepreneur meetings sound fun! Glad you're doing well today.
  7. Yesterday
  8. JustTom

    JustTom's Journal 2: Summer Edition

    Day 33/90 | No-YouTube 1/90 | Productive Hours: 14 | Pomodoros: 7 NO YOUTUBE DAY 1 WOOO! I'm actually quite amazed that I didn't watch a single youtube video. I did finish (2?) episodes of the Jim Jefferies Show, but that's fine. Explanation: Productive hours now measure any time that was spent on the path, including working out, commuting, socializing, eating, doing chores etc. It's basically (waking time - procrastination). Pomodoros is legit work done on my PC with little to no distractions. So overall a very good day. Few pomodoros because I went to the gym in the morning and then to an entrepreneurship meetup in the evening. Nevertheless, good stuff. Will focus even harder tomorrow. I get disappointed, not angry, but maybe I should start just getting angry haha! I did alright today and will succeed fully tomorrow.
  9. Oak lee

    Escape to reality day 148

    So I've leveled out a little I guess looking to the future has inspired me and all the good feels I had so long ago about the prospects of gaining mental and physical freedom have come back. I've always had a sense of adventure and exploration whether that be into knowledge, history, the world around me or even my own psyche. I've always wanted to know what his behind the next door but for so long ove had to satisfy this need with video games. Listening to the soundtracks of my childhood of skyrim and imagining what lies beyond this moment in this world excites me. Who I'll meet where I'll go and what I'll do. There is hope. Ive worked for the past few years to get to where I am now, so close to my goal of physical freedom. These next few weeks to months will be the last time I spend months at a time going nowhere but work or home. I'm coming to point where I can finally repair myself of the Damage these last 5 years have had on me. I remember the last time I stood ontop of the mountains I see in the distance every damn day I remember climbing to the top and the freedom it gave me the amazement of the view and thin air are all burned into my memories. Infact it is this memory alone that I consider the pivotal point in which my gradual downward spiral started. The beginning of all of this, of everything that put me where I am today, so damaged and bruised and here I march toward the precipice of the end to my misery. This period of my life has been a fucking rollercoaster but I'm glad I'm on my way off.
  10. Phoenixking

    Maintenance of the PhoenixKing

    Day 47 I didn't sleep very well. I'm not sure why. I still fall asleep with Netflix instead of my previous ritual. I used to meditate, read my book and then fall asleep. Nowadays, my brain is so full of different things; it makes me anxious to deal with them. I know that I should approach it with some calmness rather than numb it with Netflix. But for now, this is okay. I know what the better option is. I have faith that I'll take it when I feel like I must. I'm trying to to pressure myself too much. I was doing very well for a while and it kind of imploded. So whenever I start a new habit now, I try to make sure I truly want and enjoy it. That way it lasts and it feels less like a chore or something that requires mental energy and discipline: two things that I sorely lack and thus require extra effort to produce. Work was incredibly stressful. I have an international manager coming over next week to audit my section of the firm. There's about 10-15 engineers and just little old me to do their paperwork, send and receive packages and repairs from clients, and so on. I literally have 6 inboxes open at all times. Véry stressful. On the bright side, time flies by and I'm not bored 😛 The job itself is still rather unfulfilling. But I guess this is as close as I'll get to being challenged by it. So obviously I needed to unwind after work. I came home, dropped my ass on my lovely couch (still véry in love with it) and watched some Netflix with a beer. It turned into an hour and two beers. After that I went grocery shopping. Before I went in, I got a text from a friend of the ex's. She had told about us sleeping together and said friend was mad at me. I'll spare you the details, but there's obviously a lot more nuance and complex emotion going on and I'm not the type of dude to manipulate or push a woman into having sex with me. She's a good friend for wanting to stick up for her friend. But the situation was difficult enough as it was. I didn't need the beef. I spent about 30 minutes in the car, texting her. In the end, I just got some basics. I didn't have the time or energy anymore to actually buy food with dishes, recipes and planning in mind. I let go of the pressure of wanting to properly buy and plan my healthy meals. I'll figure it out along the way, I guess. After that, I was so distraught, I had to do something. So I ran. I got on my running shoes, said 'fuck you' to my injuries that I'm in physical therapy for and just went for it. I figured, if I'm going to be a bit self-destructive, at least do something kind of okay? I could have gone for the ex again, drank too much beers or worse. But I ran. And. It. Felt. Gooooood! Krav Maga had been canceled again due to the weather and I really needed some sporty time! I have amazing running shoes and some good music. "Die Antwoord". Big fan! I didn't time it or check how far I went. I just went to the park, started jogging a bit and just lost myself in the music. And every time the music picked up, so did I! I ended up sprinting the living hell out of myself. But I was so happy, proud and a little bit high. My stress had been relieved. Obviously, everything hurts now 😛 I totally overexerted myself. But I missed running and next time I see my therapist, I'm going to ask him all about my options. I enjoy it thoroughly more than my boring exercises. But I can't afford to fuck up my knees. It'll hurt tomorrow for sure. But it will be worth it. And now I'm here. Home again. There's still about 1000 things to do. But fuck it. I clearly didn't get any further worrying over them. So I try not to. One amazing thing that happened/I did today The running felt amazing. I missed being so fast. It felt like the old me. Like I was The Flash. Body/health Food situation is okay at best. Not bad. But not where I want to be yet. Also, my legs will hurt like a bitch in the morning. Worth it, though. Mind/soul The running totally improved my mood. I also try to fret less about things and learn to relax. Clearly that's important. But I also lose a lot of time. I guess with my crappy job and all of the challenges and obstacles, it's only normal I take enough time to chill out. I have accepted this. But there's still this fire burning in me that want to up the bar. What progress did I make today? Survived the day of work. Got groceries. Prepped the photo shoot for tomorrow. What went well today: Running! What I could have done to make my day better: I need to work on my mental managing and communicating with my True Self. I need to start having conversations with myself to figure out how I feel and why and stuff. What I will do differently tomorrow: Juggle my responsibilities at work. Be productive but not stressed out. Goals: Don't do anything stupid. Survive work. Don't stress out too much. Eat properly. Nail the photo shoot at work and win that Polaroid with my creative pic!
  11. JustTom

    Dopamine

    Switched it off after 2 minutes of Fox News. You can't be serious with this lol
  12. Phoenixking

    Maintenance of the PhoenixKing

    Well, buckle in. I'm a tad dramatic but I think I write in a bit of an idiosyncratic, funny way. Knock yourself out. I have pulled some weird shit in the last 2 months. Seriously, though. Your words truly humble me. I feel like I should print these out when my 90 days are over and create some sort of artwork or collage. Thank you. 🙂 If there is every anything I could do for you, just name it. I keep getting pulled through dark days because of this forum. I would enjoy nothing more that repaying the service and paying it forward.
  13. Phoenixking

    Maintenance of the PhoenixKing

    I'm really going to try and keep my true self in mind, man. As I said on your thread, that one hit home. I pressure myself a lot and don't give myself enough credit for my efforts and self-love. I feel like trying to get into a healthy relationship with that True Self is a step in the good direction. Thank you for setting me on a good path. And you have no idea how good it feels to, even if you're a random internet stranger, know that there's somebody out there that has my back.
  14. Some Yahoo

    Dopamine

    More on California: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mn1fxChSbYk
  15. Phoenixking

    Dear Diary...

    I just went out running. Not to keep a certain tempo up or lose weight. Just because I wanted to run. I ran the ever living fuck out of it 😛 I enjoyed it. It hurts now. But it was worth it. I guess being able to stop and figure yourself out would be a neat skill. Maybe a little booklet to something write shit down? Or something like a 1-minute-thought exercise? Yeah. I'm not really having a glorious week. A friend of mine did point out that this doesn't mean the other 40 days go away. A couple of crap days vs a couple of huge steps forward? That's a great ratio. But when you feel angry or sad, you just don't look at it that way. And I'm an emotional dude, it's like ludicrous. I get swept away in the drama of it all. That true self comment is an eye-opener. Waw. I feel like I should communicate with myself more. As if I should talk to myself from time to time and ask myself how I'm feeling and why. Thanks, man. We got this. All the way. Up the mountains, and down the valleys and toward the horizon ^^
  16. magicalmerlinmark

    Herbal Hope!

    I am still trying to find a balance between work and lifestyle. At this moment I am working too often, and for too little money. Trying to run your own business is tough! I am treating this year as a discovery year, figuring out how I want to live the rest of my life. I am enjoying what I do, although looking at my books I can see it is not that sustainable. I am, however, the healthiest and happiest I have ever been. Once I figure out the small details I know I will be looking forward to a much happier lifestyle. I nearly turned to play games for 10 minutes, instead I came on here and started writing it down. It's good to have nourishing support structures in place 🙂 GF Days: 20
  17. seriousjay

    Jay's Epic Journey

    Thanks Cam I'll definitely check it out! Just wanted to post here to say I ran into my first minor setback last night. I went on a 2 hour hike just before and had to do some stuff at work right after, on top of not having slept too well the night before, so none of that was helping my willpower at the time. I caved and had 2 servings of a Dairy Queen ice cream cake. One serving is 410 cals and it's basically just all sugar. I justified it by saying I had room in my calorie budget for it, and I had already worked so hard that day so I deserved a reward. This was bad for a number of reasons. I believe I read that the sugar crash actually disrupts your ability to go into deep REM sleep. On top of these being almost completely empty calories. I should have had a protein shake to help with my recovery and called it a night. On top of all that, this experience is likely going to make it harder to say no the next time. I will need to be very mindful about any further cravings and temptations in the near future. Oh well. Just learn from it is all I can do at this point. We all stumble and make mistakes so I'm not going to beat myself up over it.. although I really wanted to. On a somewhat related note, I've read also that your emotional state can actually affect your digestion as well. Whether that's true or not, I can't allow myself to get too down about anything. Instead of getting distraught over a situation, just calmly approach things with an objective mind and ask questions. I believe constantly getting down and beating myself up is going to eventually lead me back to my previous way of life, and I can't allow that to happen. Anyway, looking forward to a great day of recovery! I've worked very hard the last week or so and today I intend to reward myself by allowing myself to do literally NOTHING if I want to!
  18. Manhotelle

    Manhotelle's journal

    Thanks man, never thought of giving up. Even when i sound desparate and pessimistic, it is only of my strict approach to self-analysis. I decided to allow myself to take an honest look at my actions and find the most obvious reason why certain things keep happening. I do get sad of bad results of course, but i am learning to learn from them :)
  19. Manhotelle

    Manhotelle's journal

    Day 19 I am finally home! In last days on my work i was quite busy so i skipped a lot of daily notes here, but i still tried to keep up with my plan. I do not miss my workout (which got harder a lot in the last 10 days) and morning meditation! I read 10 pages of a book almost every book (skipped only twice in the last 2 weeks) and doing more of my homework now. Doing pretty great!
  20. Cam Adair

    Jay's Epic Journey

    Haha exactly bro. Patience. The key is that you're taking positive action towards who you want to be NOW. It will take time, but don't sweat it, you're still making progress and that's all that matters straight up. This is a good video on instant vs. delayed gratification.
  21. Timegainer

    Maintenance of the PhoenixKing

    Having read only some of the first and last entries in this diary I might not see the whole picture. But I do want to say that I am genuinely impressed with your efforts. You might not be doing as well as you had hoped when you set out, but you are definately making progress. Though you fall through and disappoint yourself through a fraction of your actions you can keep in mind that you are facing hardships much harder than the average gaming or porn addict. Breaking up with someone who has become part of you and your daily life is not easily done. It cant be done through a single action, but through continouos actions over an extended period of time. It goes against so many defence mechanisms in our body. Even though we try to convince ourselves of the opposite, we are NOT logical creatures. Our feelings and subconscious is constantly fighting with everything they got, trying to make us betray our better jugdement and instead go for the easy way out. We are bound to fail from time to time, but your persistance and refusal to give up is truly an inspiration. I will definately be following this diary, since reading about your great efforts without a doubt will help me in my own development.
  22. Cam Adair

    Creating my new life.

    Welcome!
  23. Timegainer

    Creating my new life.

    Day 1 Today it is more than 24 hours since I last played a video game. For a long time I've spent at least 2-3 hours a day playing video games. At least. The last 2 months its been closer to 5-10 hours a day on average. I study at the university, and my summer holidays startet in the middle of June. This has left me with a lot of spare time, which I have automatically funneled into gaming without really thinking about it. I'm going back to the university the 27th of August, and then I don't want to play games anymore. This journal will not only be focused on quitting gaming. I am trying to change the direction of my life in several other ways. Also most of the posts are going to be very long, and I don't really expect anyone to read them. I'm mostly writing this for my own sake, since these journals forces me to be brutally honest with myself. I made two lists today. I called them "*my name* version 1" and "*my name* version 2". These two lists are supposed to represent what I might be doing in a year. They look something like this: TimeGainer v1: Is capable of enjoying mildly rewarding activities, like playing card/board games with his friends and his girlfriend. He has time to do his homework and to hone his skills (playing the guitar and piano, speaking german, knitting, ....). He has the patience to grind through hardships and obstacles without giving up, understanding that in real life you don't always get constant rewards. In learing something new, you don't constantly get new levels or something like that, you have to make you own goals inspiring your growth. In other words: TimeGainer v1 doesn't play video games. In fact, he hasn't played for a year. TimeGainer v1 is also more grateful for his amazing girlfriend. He is more aware of the both physical and mental sensations and feelings she wakes in him. When they aren't together he misses her, when they are together he longs for her touch, when they are touching the sensation of her skin lights an inferno of feelings shooting out in his entire body. When they have sex he doesn't think about the more extreme porn he watched earlier, being unconsciously annoyed that she wont/cant do what profesional pornstars do. He doesn't even watch porn, and hasn't for a year. He simply enjoys her and her company. TimeGainer v1 is flexible enough to touch the ground with his fingertips while bending over keeping his legs straight. He performs yoga daily and don't feel his back aching, because he is sitting down all his waking hours. He actually excercises through his yoga sessions and his jogs in the forrest. He is 23-years-old and actually feels like it. Instead of feeling like a 40-year-old like he did a year ago. TimeGainer v1 is a nicer person, who doesn't constantly speak ill of and to other people. Through being aware of his swearing and his speaking behind peoples backs, he has been able to change. Even though he still sometime thinks bad things of others, he refuses to identify with his thougths and simply let them go, without justifying them by speaking out loud. Instead he focuses on the positive thoughts and feelings, and is hereby constantly changing his outlook on the world and other people in a positive direction. TimeGainer v2: Is still playing video games. The constant gratification dulls his mind, making him unreceptive to the small joys in everyday life. He gets annoyed when he has visitors, since it would be rude to ignore them and just play his games instead. He doesn't get much done, since the games take all his time. "I don't have to clean up right now and that assignment isn't due until two days from now. I can easily play some games now, and then do the other things later." He still wastes most his spare time, sinking it into games which despite of their constant virtual rewards never will allow him to harvest any REAL rewards. He also still watches porn warping his mental images of what sex is. Not just any type of porn but some hardcore shit with women being tied up and gangbanged in all holes. Even though he has noticed that since he started watching porn ~10 years ago, he has had to find exceedingly extreme videos to get turned on, he just keeps on going. He is well aware that some of the videos he watches must have been extremely uncomfortable and maybe even hurtful to the porn actresses, but he apparently weighs his own tempoary satisfaction higher than their worth as sentient human beings. He still masturbates 2-3 times a day resulting in him barely enjoying sex with his girlfriend. During sex he is sometime thinking about the videos he's been watching, thinking of ways the sex could be more physically enjoyable for him. He is well aware that the porn wretches his view on women, making him more chauvanistic and making him more and more prone to objectifying women. His body is in even worse condition due to lack of excercise. If he tries bending over reaching for the ground he still lacks 25cm. He cant even walk fast without becoming exhausted. Even though his diet is varied, healthy and vegetarian he is surely headed for even more back pains and will probably get multiple life-style deceases in the next 50 years. He is still a quite bitter person. Though he isn't directly evil or spiteful, he often says things he regrets. Because of his lack of awareness he doesn't really control his thoughts. He doesn't control which words he utters. Sentences just spill out, spreading rumors and hatred. Since the negativity towards other people has free reins in his thoughts, it multiplies and pushes out all the positive things he could have said instead, hurting both his own outlook on the world and the people aroung him. Neither of these two people exist yet. But if I don't change my life, there is a very good chance that version 2 soon will. However, if I'm able to change my daily actions in another direction, i might instead be able to make myself into someone similar to version 1. It might not even take a year for me to change for the better. These two lists are only a part of the actual lists I've written down, some of the more important bullet points. I am going to keep expanding the two lists i've written, reading through them every single day. I am certain that this will help keeping me motivated. I really don't want to become version 2. He sounds like a douche. Also, I realise that these two lists makes it seem like I think being in a relationship is all about enjoying sex. I know of course that that isn't the case. I love my girlfriend a lot and I really enjoy her company. I've just become aware that watching pornography might have a quite large impact on my sex life. I am quite sure the first 10 days will be the hardest part of this journey, since I have so much spare time. When I start studying again, I will be able to stay in the library studying without the ability to play on my computer. I will be able to spend more time with a group of friends from my study, forcing me away from my appartment and my pc. At least that is what I hope.
  24. Today I will not play video games because virtual reality is virtual not real.
  25. Cam Adair

    A Smurf's Journal

    Glad it helped!
  26. Matt S

    Maintenance of the PhoenixKing

    Why regret yesterday when you can be excited for tomorrow?
  27. Matt S

    JustTom's Journal 2: Summer Edition

    Think about how angry you are with this issue and use it as the impetus to get out of bed. Dominate your day even if it's relaxing. Relax better than anyone has ever relaxed before lol.
  1. Load more activity
×