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  1. Today
  2. I turned mine into a PC for music production. The graphics card is a bit overkill but I sure need the CPU and memory to be able to handle plug-ins and what not. A PC has lots of value outside of gaming.
  3. Good Morning Game Quitters members (3:10 AM), I'm going to do my best today and on Saturday I'm going to see a family member in NYC and see where it's going to go on that day (I would love to say why, it's personal and I don't want to get political in the Game Quitters Forum). Right now I'm writing a book and once I'm fully finished as a non-fiction self help book I will publish it in this website name Smashwords (I know I can publish books on the Amazon website, sadly I don't have the ability to use the Amazon website anymore so I'm using alternatives. Some are better than going to Amazon in my opinion), once that's done I'll make another one as long term income while giving value at the same time because no value to the product you are making will lead to harm and reveal that there is no reasons to use or learn from what I'm making in general to the consumer. I'll do my best.
  4. (20/30) 😶stressed got a haircut. didnt like it. bleh
  5. Things is going well so far. I'm making sure that I'm doing what I need to do for my own future and this house in general. Usually I'm focus on myself and that's good, I rather do that then just complaining about my neighbors having something or "more ahead" then me. Usually that's not the case in general. So just keep doing me.
  6. Day 29 It is now day 29 I am tired, and going to bed Good night
  7. Yesterday
  8. I can recommend geocaching if you like going outside and doing treasure hunts. There's a great community behind it as well so you can get social with people who enjoy the same thing.
  9. Grats on your progress! Is there any way to keep track of days on the site? I remember reading about some challenge when I first heard about Game Quitters but I can't seem to find anything about it now.
  10. Today I was reminded of one of my most frequent memories when it comes to my gaming addiction. Similar to one of the stories Cam told in his Tedx talk I also fooled my closest ones to get back into the gaming chair in secret. This particular memory is from about 15 years ago when I was in my second relationship. I had a girlfriend at the time that was outgoing, nerdy and generally a very positive person. We had a lot of fun for the most part but we also went through many hardships due to my gaming habits (amongst other things). I would many times escape into the reality of video games whenever life pushed me too hard. During this period I had many struggles finding a job I was comfortable with, because of course I wasn't ready to give that much time to anything besides gaming. I worked at a Gamestop warehouse at the time which ironically was a very tedious job. I had to test games for a couple of minutes to see if they booted or not and then I sent them away for either repair resale. Besides this I also packed a lot of boxes with various orders that were going out to all the retailers. One of my escapes during monotonous and tedious work was to listen to music but my employer demanded that we didn't use headphones because they wanted to be able to communicate with us at any given time. Needless to say I was going crazy most days and all I could think about was getting into the gaming chair and forget about all that boredome and repetition. I quickly developed a strategy of figuring out when my girlfriend was at school and then I would pretend to get ready for work, go to the bus station but ultimately never get on the bus. What I did instead was to walk around listening to music for maybe 1-2 hours until I knew no one was home and then I would sneak back in and play my favourite games until my girlfriend was back home. I remember being so stressed out at the notion of being caught or someone in our corridor telling on me. But it never happened and I continued with this until I was so fed up even thinking about work that I called in sick to get out of it. I ended up being home for two weeks straight just gaming non-stop and finally my employer called and said I wasn't welcome back anymore because I hadn't stayed in touch nor proived any medical statement regarding my long absence. I understand now that I put a lot of people in a difficult position at the time. My girlfriend deserved honesty and attention because she had done absolutely nothing wrong. My employer deserved an employee to rely on in order to run their business properly. There are only so many excuses one can make and in the end we can only learn from our past and be sorry for the ones we hurt. If we are lucky we might even ask for forgiveness. I know I will try over the coming years.
  11. I had another disappointing day yesterday. The weekend as a whole was a letdown in terms of my performance. Yesterday I wrote 3 invoices for a total of $2.9k. Weekends are supposed to be our busiest days, so the fact that I didn’t hit even one daily goal over the course of the entire weekend was pretty discouraging. Our daily goal for Sunday was about $7k, but I only managed to hit $5.3k over the course of the entire weekend. Not a great way to end the week. I’m hoping I can do better this week. Last week as a whole was my best week yet, even taking my bad weekend into account. I wrote 21 invoices with a net volume of $29k, more invoices than anyone else in the store and the second highest net volume in the store. I’m hoping to exceed those numbers this week. In other news, I’m back in the gym! I just hit the gym this morning, and I did some grocery shopping right after to supplement my workouts. I’m currently 186 lbs at 5’9”, which is fairly heavy for my height. I’m looking to lose some weight while putting on some lean mass, so I’m doing what’s called a body recomposition. What that looks like is eating at a slight deficit with a protein-heavy diet while doing my typical gym routine. I’m hoping to see results in about a month, which is how long it took last time I was working out. Between my job and my new workout routine, there’s plenty to keep me busy for the foreseeable future.
  12. Unmanageability (cont) - Do I consider the needs of others? What effect has my lack of consideration had on my relationships? No I do not consider the needs of others. I view other people naturally in a very negative light: I see them as creatures of bad habits and greed, while I am enlightened and wise. But I am not. And they not. Most people have helped me, and have given me chances. I feel stupid. I have no relationship. I am either too afraid to connect or too judgmental. I do not accept a lot of stuffs. With my employers or subordinates, I am either cold, awkward or manipulative and disregarding - Do I accept responsibility for my life and my actions? Am I able to carry out my daily responsibilities without becoming overwhelmed? How has this affected my life? Only in the past two years have I taken my responsibilities seriously. Before, I use to be so steep in my addiction, I was not able to drive myself to work. I would be late and I would call Uber and urge the driver to go fast. There is driver I know, sometimes he would show up to pick me up on demand for double the money. I agree. Later I learn that he hates me. I hated myself too, for letting him use me, but most of all, for being too weak to take care of myself. Then, I fail to do basic tasks most of the time. Failures, realization that I do have the necessary skills or strength stunted me. Put me in sort of a trance. I just stood there. My head blank, cannot go on. Or I began to break down internally. Now I still do, guilt over my past kept me from waking up some days. I still feel my heart break internally but I am able to carry on. I would not dare to do too much interpersonal work for fear of appearing a mess in front of others. A lot of my plans fail because I am afraid to start or abandon after being overwhelmed by realizing I cannot take all the information in/ I am failing.
  13. It wasn't me, though I hope to make a meeting soon! I'm doing well so far, though each day brings its own challenges.
  14. Hi, I think I heard you speak at one of the meetings of CGAA on Saturday/ Sunday hosted by Jonathan. If it was you, then you gave me a really good tip about quitting being more than just finding something to replace gaming. Anyway, hope to hear more about how you are doing Take it easy man
  15. (19/30) 😊Feeling better After writing that out last night, I ended up exercising and it was actually a good experience.. I felt much better afterwards Maybe exercise really can be a way to cope? I mean I always know people tell you to exercise more, but I'm really seeing its merit for the first time. you guys are awesome. we got this, lets go!
  16. Forgot to write an update yesterday. Oops! So far the cravings haven't been too bad. The first day was definitely the worst so far. My days haven't really had any structure, but I have managed to work in some small workouts and some socialization with family and friends. Normally I'd be anxious around other people, but it wasn't so bad because I was able to be more present in the conversations. I completed a few things that I had been procrastinating on for waaaaay too long, and it felt great to finally get them finished. It was something simple that should have taken 20 minutes. I just couldn't bring myself to do it before because I'd find an excuse to ruminate on or play some video game. I napped a lot too, which was weird because I've been sleeping well. I might have just been overtired and never realized it. It might have something to do with my mind was always occupied. It feels nice to slow down and not feel like I have to accomplish something immediately, or look towards the next goal/quest or something. I'm working through Module 2, and deleting my games didn't seem nearly as difficult as I thought it would. It was a little frustrating and tedious because I had a pretty big Steam library, and had just bought some games. It doesn't matter though, because I know that if I spend more time and effort on them, I'd be missing out on other opportunities.
  17. Last week
  18. Had such a good shroom trip this morning! 7g at 8am, I was having such a good time alone on the trails, I brought a pillow and blankets and barely encountered anyone else. I timed it perfectly with the weather and was patient this whole year for the right time I do it. The theme of my life this year has been "prepare." During the trip I was so happy and grateful for how well my life has been going the past few months. Since I decided to start TRT earlier this year, my life has been improving slowly but steadily and going the way I want it to ever since. I'm so happy about the way my mind, body, and finances are coming together. The only thing that's really missing is a boyfriend and maybe a close friend or two. This will be something that I'll work on next year since I plan to move to Texas once my lease is up. I've been preparing myself for the move by becoming more attractive by working on each of my physical flaws, and also by getting my finances in order for the move. I realized how grateful I am about my relationship with my coach at the gym since he's the person I interact with the most in my day-to-day life since I am otherwise a loner. I really respect him and find him very attractive, I decided to get him a gift card with $70 on it so he can buy the new god of war when it comes out on PS5 as a sign of my appreciation for him. He's younger than me but in my head he's my big brother. It would be fun to eat his ass haha
  19. Thank you. I have already watched a few videos from this channel. Really good stuff. I still have some videos that I want to watch from this channel, and I'll watch them next time I'll watching YT in my free time, or when I feel urge to play games. Thanks 🙂
  20. God but do I feel you there. Progressing in something can feel like such a chore when you're having a hard time seeing said progress. In my case it was like... '' Didn't I used to do better then this before? How the hell did I get worse after spending more time practicing???'' In the end I think it's normal the feel that way, don't know if it helps Don't give up though
  21. Day 28 streak since 7/15/2022, 10:30Pm Hey! Technically a month if we were in February Managed to work the amount of time I wanted yesterday. Makes me happy, didn't think I'd be able to do it
  22. Bob D. - AA Speakers - "Forgiveness, Letting go, Resentment, Fear, and Love" (Part 4 of 5) 18:58 help his kids and never need anything else ... discover that sense... there is a magic when helping others... everything I've gone through is useful for others... In moments like that, i feel inside me, truly, the way that I would always image that I would feel if I have enough material stuffs... I am right with myself, with God and with the World. Found it.
  23. Fellow long time gamer here, Altered Beast was my first game. With so many things you have been through and so much experience against a life time of gaming, I am looking forward to your next journal entry. Cheers
  24. Grinding in real life takes more effort and it will make your entire body react in ways you didn't know was possible. But in the end the reward is greater and you will come to love the feeling of progression it comes with. I recently started hitting the gym and just the feeling of becoming stronger is awesome! 🙂
  25. I'm a people pleaser too and the struggle sucks: to confront or not to confront??? Good thing is you are in direct sales and you will get experience faster to overcome. My thing I wanna share with you is that when being a customer, almost everyone is self-rightous. I mean: I'm not gonna agree with everything this salesperson is telling me even when he might be telling the truth, and even when he might be doing it for my own good! So some days, when I know my products and my services are good, and the customer is being stubborn about it, I need to tell them straight that they are getting the wrong idea. Excited to follow your sales stories. Just avoid the burnt out I guess 😀
  26. FOMO culture is one of the worst things I've with experienced with gaming myself. The notion that content is cycled out in set intervals, making you feel that you constantly miss out on something if you don't continue to play. And to make it worse the content often comes in the form of a seasonal pass or micro-transactions which drains your wallet at an alarming rate. You can call the game free-to-play all you want but in the end it's just another expression for maximizing profit.
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