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  1. Today
  2. I don't understand, did you get an interview? 🙂
  3. Entry 18.03 (Written on 19.03) Day 536: No Useless Videos Day 534: Sticking to Food schedule Day 138: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00) Day 128: Being in bed before 23:15 3 Things I did right, no matter how small. -Continuing with 3 meals -8 pomodoros -ordering a gift for father 1 Thing I could do better- -Allthough I do feel that eating three meals helps(less sleepiness, less heaviness, plus today in the morning already feel hungry - awesome.), It is taking half an hour when at job, which might result in about 4 dollars daily which is about a 100$ monthly, I really want to see how I may continue doing two meals with no damage to my stomach, having all nutritional needs met and still doing it within two meals. Possibly I'll need a nutritional consultation for that... Ponder that. Also ask if I may get a discount for the nutritional meeting
  4. Yesterday
  5. Bro I also been there. After the days 45-60 you ll really feel the change. It's good)
  6. I am so happy. Turns out I have time to prepare before interviews!!!
  7. Right now i'm feeling light & a little more at peace. I'm 11 days game free, porn free, masturbation free & heavily processed food free. The emotions i'm experiencing are lightness & ease. Although there are time's where I get intense cravings for games, & i start to feel low, heavy & depressed. I know this is just part of the process so I continue to push on.
  8. Wow, itr really good advice, and I ll copy it to buy and also to read. I read poor dad and etc, I agree about that part. On others I ll follow your instructions and read first. ( Btw I ll try to find this books for free first). As for my goals. I was thinking how its is, to live bellow my means and etc. Right now from the day of work I make around 10$-20$ as a courier. It's small, but it's not zero. I need this job , I need this money. And more about it: - I am currently spending way to much on food. Even to spend 2.5$ a meal is bad, I can spend way less if I eat home and etc. Also, I can work only on weekends, so it's also a point to limit my income as a courier. But anyway, I still make money, just need to find way how to make more of it. And as the famous word said: " Sharpen your axe first". I need to find job more high paying because I am IT student. I think I should work on sites and etc, while gathering all available resources to save as much money as I can. Yesterday I worked an 11+hour shift to make some 20$ but I guess it's not optimal to spend my time like that. More over, while delivering orders I found a place where I was, when I was more successful. I went there with my ex, we rested there and etc, and now I can go in only to take order. Funny, I hope it switches again. All of my classmates are focusing on getting the job, even the girls. I can't miss out on it, I need to at LEAST try! Also I need to find freelance orders. Even one , it can be done in six hours sitting in warm home zone, not outside where it's rainy and cold. I love rain and etc, BUT there is a catch. When I work I can't leave or smt like this. That's also a point. More on this, I should focus on my goals, not face a destruction in girls, even if they are beautiful, and not in YouTube or porn, because it brings me nowhere. I need to focus on my goals, and main of them: - Finish my coursework ASAP - Make a portfolio and get to job searches - Make more money. This is the way I need to think about it. With thankfulness, your Dark)
  9. Hi guys i'm Ellis, I live in the UK Manchester. I'm 11 days game free & just purchased the respawn program today. The reason i've quit gaming is because I was sick of how it was making me feel. I'd spend about 4 hrs a day gaming over the past 6 months & could feel that everything outside of gaming was becoming meaningless & boring. I also have other aspirations like running my own coaching business, training more, forming deeper connections with more peopld & findind a romantic partner. Although i still pursued those thing when I was gaming I felt as if I could put a lot more energy into them & knew gaming was making more anxious & depressed. So here I am, looking forward to quitting for life.
  10. Day #76/90 I'll put it bluntly, I felt very disconnected to the events that occurred today. My family decided to all come along with me to drop me off at my place near campus, but we went to the park and then went out to eat. Throughout those experiences I wanted to feel disconnected from my responsibilities. Now here I am, working on my art homework that isn't urgently due but I also don't feel very into it right now. Here's something I wrote up not too long ago: "I sometimes wonder if my negative and positive emotions ever fall outside the umbrella of burnout. I can't tell if I've been conditioned into a state of perpetual burnout from my art program since 2020. I don't feel the need to break down and scream or cry. However, I fear that my burnout has completely numbed myself from that need at all. My body can't seem to tell what to feel. I just feel like I need to keep working." I'm wondering if my gravitation towards napping and sleeping is a result of this burnout. What I'm thankful for: My family and friends not being thrown off by my dissonant behaviors. Goals for Day #77: Get feedback on my tree painting, which is still currently in a very basic beginning state. Knock out 20 more giraffe gestures. Work on portfolio.
  11. Entry 17.03 (Written on 18.03) Day 535: No Useless Videos Day 533: Sticking to Food schedule Day 137: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00) Day 127: Being in bed before 23:15 3 Things I did right, no matter how small. -Continuing with 3 meals -7 pomodoros -quite a short 50 min workout 1 Thing I could do better- -Remember to eat peas and edamame from dinner at breakfast too, previously it helped me avoid evening sleepiness.
  12. Last week
  13. Ikar

    Ikar's Diary

    15th March - 17th March: On Friday, I had lessons as usual and after that my girlfriend and I went to get mattresses for our new flat. After that, we hung out with her sister and had a good time. I spent yesterday mostly by myself; preparing for the next week, reading and working on my business. Today, my girlfriend and I went for a trip to another town and I spent some time on myself too. I also got tickets for Dire Straits, as they'll have a show in my city in about a month. I'm fairly excited about that 😄
  14. Day #75/90 Today was pretty straightforward. I spent a good amount of time with my sister, went home, did some schoolwork, and now I'm in bed. The progress I made this weekend is decent, and I still have all of tomorrow to continue pushing out progress for my classes and portfolio. What I'm thankful for: Not losing my sense of caring for others in spite of the heavy emotional damage inflicted upon me 5 years ago. I may or may not touch upon it in these entries. Goals for Day #76: 20 more giraffe gesture drawings More tree painting progress More portfolio adjustments before final submission.
  15. I think it's a lot about setting priorities. Buy only the things that are needed to help you improve upon challenges and not avoid them for example (More on this in the subtle art of not giving a fuck or everything is fucked by mark mansion i don't remember which) Another thing is buying assets, not liabilities (More n this in rich dad poor dad by Robert Kiyosaki) Yet a third is as i said just having a priority, main goal in life, which will allow you to let go of other "wishes" (More on this in think and grow rich by napoleon hill - the "Desire formula" on page 87 and the book in general, + beginning with the end in mind of stephen covey's' book the seven habits of highly effective people. Get on with it 🙂
  16. Entry 16.03 (Written on 17.03) Day 534: No Useless Videos Day 532: Sticking to Food schedule Day 136: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00) Day 126: Being in bed before 23:15 3 Things I did right, no matter how small. -Continuing with 3 meals -10 pomodoros -5 hrs 40 minutes of deliveries resulting in 26 deliveries, though a lot of it is not because of me, what i did right however is focused work, the fact that i had bundles is just a bonus ") 1 Thing I could do better- -No need to crash in bed even if i am tired. It will just make digestion even slower. Instead, maybe do some low focus task like visualization if already in a super extra dozing off state (Just an idea), but definitely not crash into bed.
  17. Today is the 21st day of my 90 day detox. In order to make it harder for myself to relapse I destroyed my computer. Uninstalling the games and steam wasn't enough in the past and I repeatably relapsed. I timed the start of the detox to coincide with a holiday overseas which made it much easier to get through those first few days. I experienced similar withdrawal symptoms to what I have previously encountered when attempting to quit in the past however not nearly as bad (loneliness, sadness and anxiety) and they only lasted a couple/few days which is consistant with previous attempts. The trip overseas was a great experience. It wasn't all peachy but if I had not committed to the trip I otherwise would have spent those 3 weeks in a MMORPG and have nothing tangible to show for that time. I arrived home two days ago and now the real challenge begins. I need to deal with the stress, anxiety and boredom of my life without using video games to escape from the challenge. My main hobbies are art, reading and watching movies. I have started getting back into the art and so far I am pleasantly surprised at how much I am enjoying it. I believe that the dopamine detox has already taken effect because the enjoyment I experience drawing is much more of a strong feeling than when I had tried drawing while attempting a regulatory approach to reducing game time. I also get lost in the experience with time passing without the urge to return to the game. Today has been a challenge. I am hung over and don't have the motivation to do anything. Playing games was a very easy to pass a day hung over. I am not wildly confident that this game-free time will stick because there are a couple of games coming out in a few months that I would love to play. I have effectively bargained myself into relapsing when these games come out but realise at this point that 90 days without games is definitely achievable, and perhaps the risk of playing these games will either be lower, easier to manage or I may be more inclined to make this cessation of gaming permanent.
  18. @Yan agree on this, it's a way that I need to overcome and experience. I really don't know how to do it, but I ll search how ist done. But also, let's never forget about ambition and a dream. So DAY#33( BRAIN DAY 🧠) In the morning I woke, slept a little more and then went to gym Training was amazing , I also practiced some fighting and I was in touch with people, so I didn't feel lonely. That was good! I liked it a lot. That I had a big meal, after witch I rested while reading my free book and then I went to work on a CNN and managed to do a decent job. Also partisapated in some Olimpiad, and now I am going to sleep. Need to make more that 2$ a hour tomorrow. I hope I ll be lucky. Let's go)
  19. I apologize for some typos and grammar issue because I write this post in paper and OCR software can make some mistake to jot down the words. Hi everyone you can call me Shiratori and I'm 16 years old. When I was a preschoolers, I'm just know myself from being a gifted kid when comes to arts. I always win in art competition in that time and my parents are always proud of me. In fact, I learn to draw first before I learn to read properly. In the moment that I turn grade one, my one of my relatives gave me a brand new tablet to play games. Since I got hooked in video games, my interest in art fades away. This moment is the time where my passion to arts are gone. Video games are very stimulating and my poor youth brain is being trapped in the virtual world that my progress is nothing. This chain of routine of going to sleep, wake up, video games, school, video games and sleep is what my life looks like since I start to play games at young age. I don't even realize that my art talent is now being perished. I play video games around 5 hours a day. My young self don't even care about it become of stimulant effect of video games My relatives are trying their best to limit my screentime but they failed because I'm having a violent reaction. This cycle of life is continuing till last month and now I'm trying to stop as I'm trying to revive my talent after a 12 years of abandoning if. When I start to go back in arts last week, my works are not good as what it looks like before because my video game addiction take away my time to improve my talent. Now, my art talent is now being awakened again by limiting my Video game time and by a consistent drawing practice. I just compute my time wasted in video games and if turns out that almost 1 year worth of hours from my life are wasted. These precious hours should be spent to improve my arts. Many art opportunities are wasted due to my video game addiction and now I regret it. I can't imagine that my art talent is wasted in my whole teenage era. I hope that listen to my parents to obey their screen time limit. I hope that I don't let a virtual world takes away my passion. I'm so sorry for my art talent that I wasted just to have a meaningless adventure from the screen's pixel. I feel guilty for wasting my talent and potential that a God is giving to me. I hope that I'm a professional artist today if I don't waste my life on video games. Such a regretful moment of my life. For parents reading this, please never buy your kid a gaming devices In a young age or their potential will be wasted.
  20. Day #71-74/90 I'm feeling overall better compared to the beginning of this week. I managed to get my second draft of my portfolio review done and checked in by upperclassmen. The reception I received was a lot better than anticipated. There are far less errors with my portfolio than expected and I don't nearly have as much work to do as anticipated. In any case, I am still pretty overwhelmed by portfolio in general, and that is what has been driving my inconsistency with this journal, I think. My classes actually haven't really overloaded me with work for the time being, but portfolio has taken a lot of mental space and it has been burning me out in all honesty. I cannot wait until I finally submit portfolio, because I feel like I spend more time thinking about submitting it than actually putting work into it. What I'm thankful for: Being able to see visible progress in my artistic journey. Generally speaking, I find it quite hard to observe any growth in myself as an artist. Trying to watch myself grow is like waiting for the day to end by watching a clock continuously tick. Being able to step back and say "I really am improving" is something I will not be experiencing at all times, so I don't take those few times for granted. Goals for Day #75: Make progress on tree painting. Do 20 Giraffe Gestures. Make fixes to graphite 3 tone cube-like render for portfolio.
  21. Super glad my tips worked, though you might consider concentrating on living below your means rather than making more money 🙂 Because otherwise no matter how much you make you will always feel you need more. Just a thought here.
  22. Entry 15.03 (Written on 16.03) Day 533: No Useless Videos Day 531: Sticking to Food schedule Day 135: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00) Day 125: Being in bed before 23:15 3 Things I did right, no matter how small. -Eating 4 meals ( the same food just a little more spaced out ( I think if it's not Saturday the way I've done it the previous day is better for digestion effectiveness ) -Keeping cool after girl at reception got "mad" at me even though I had to go home and the fact I came to replace her caused me to be even more delayed than I already was. -5 hrs of deliveries, quite effectively, got 20 deliveries in. 1 Thing I could do better- -Start eating the larger meals on Saturday and Sunday, not friday and satrday, since this way I'll be replenishing calories after workouts and not on Friday in advance, which may overload my stomach, on Friday do regular food schedule instead ( Though this will have to wait fo the next bi-weekly iteration, since I'm not supposed to change the bi-weekly schedule mid-way.
  23. Yep, keep up the work and you did it once with games, you ll improve your life again by quitting porn It's takes and faces dopamine, which stops you from achieving your goals, it's makes you less capable with women and in bed. It breaks your motivation and makes pseudo achievement. But remember, it's all up to you and you can do it, as if you did it before
  24. I agree with you, a lot @Pochatok. That is true, that only thing I should compare myself is me from before. And I made a huge progress. I am now a part time working non gamer, who is actively trying to improve programming skills. The catch is, there is a two kinds / ways of development. And I can see it among my mates. Some of them already got the job, and some of them never will. And this summer will show, whatever we will get the job or not. But also I must work to make an project for university. I have no time, but no answer still. I am afraid and stressed by this fact. I ll focus my attention on it on Saturday and Monday. If I get on one side, I ll be a desired specialist and if I end up on the other - I am nothing.... That's a harsh truth, but it Is what it is now days.. I ll try my best.. The next topic is that I feel extremely lonely right now, with no girlfriend or really no good friends in real life. I understood, that before I will search for any other women I need to forge myself. Who I am? Day#32 I worked almost full day, and got around 18$. Not much, I spent it all to by power bank. I need to find a way to make money, and I need several of them On the brighter side. @Yan, your adveces worked, I preplanned tips, stayed near restaurants, and called clients in advance. I managed to get tips also. I am happy about it. Now, I understood, even tho I work a lot, I steal need gym, to self focus mentally and work on myself. And shape my body. Thats all, your Dark)
  25. Thursday entry: Day 1 - another mindless relapse. I am not sure why I did not catch this in my mind as a violence... No, I do know- because I do not let the bitter aftertaste of a relapse to sit with me. I quickly move on, like it's nothing. But it has detrimental effects on how I see and treat others, and myself. I do not want to engage in (mainstream) pornography because it is always, always turning people into objects. I want to see and accept people for who they are, not for what they represent. I don't want to see people half-way. With that, I want to live by the following values today: - positive obsession // get things done - dreaming // see my path clearly - clarity and presence // be fully aware of how my current actions influence the future - honesty // no lies to myself, or others - movement // do not stagnate, keep active Let's seize the day -- Friday entry: Day 2. I have been engaging in pornography, but in a very important manner that actually distances me from it. This is similar to how I engaged w/ games prior to quitting- by creating a different relationship that was not rooted in avoidance, escapism, and etc.. Once this was achieved, I no longer "needed" games, and therefore had an easier time quitting. I understand the risks of this approach, but am already feeling much better about it. It's a lot harder to rewire my relationship with pornography by quitting cold turkey. Instead, I need to kindly, patiently recreate my relationship so that it simply is no longer needed. Almost like saying goodbye to a friend with whom I need to part ways- be kind, compassionate, caring, yet firm. Not one step back here. I want to keep learning.
  26. ironically, my advice is rooted in compassion, but I believe it to be genuine advice. Stop comparing yourself to others. It's no use, and there is no greater enemy to your own freedom than social complacency/conformity. I know that you live in a Russian-speaking country, and understand that being in any way non-conforming is not an easy task. However, if you simply try to chase for becoming someone else, you will sacrifice your own priorities, opportunities, and uniqueness. Instead, make a plan that serves you first- whether that includes winning olympiads or not is up to you. But all these social achievements should not be a goal in itself. From my experience, once I was able to set goals that centered on my own needs and interests, I actually increased my achievements- my grades skyrocketed, and my skills in all areas of passion improved tremendously. But first, I had to do all of those things for myself. Not for the sake of achievement. Again, I understand that this is difficult for you given where you live. But, I still recommend doing what you can to avoid conformity as much as possible.
  27. Hey! Welcome, glad to have you here, and I look forward to seeing your journey!!! Po
  28. Hello there, It's been a constant battle for me to limit my gaming time or even quit altogether. I find myself spending countless hours gaming, neglecting my responsibilities, and feeling isolated from friends and family. I've tried various methods to control my gaming habits, but nothing seems to work in the long term. I'm worried about the impact it's having on my life and relationships. I'd love to hear from others who have faced similar challenges and have successfully overcome or are currently working through gaming addiction. What strategies have helped you break free from the grip of gaming? How do you cope with cravings and urges to play? And most importantly, how do you rebuild your life outside of gaming? Hoping in a quick response. Thankyou in advance.
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