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Great, Pema. Thank you. I'm happier today than I was when I made my first post. I had a nice resetting and healing weekend with friends and family in nature. It's good to get out in the woods and just enjoy life. Nature, my friends and family, I love these parts of living, and they help me become calm. I confess to having sugar, a low amount, twice and maybe thrice. First, a friend I love recommended I try a salad they concocted which had dressing that almost certainly had sugar in it, and I decided to choose joining my friend's joy with their invitation to try the salad. I was mindful and forgave myself so I could enjoy it. Next, it was someone's birthday, but before I knew that, the phrase "piece of cake" came to mind as I calmed down over the weekend, and I decided to partake in the special occasion and honor the phrase that came to me by having a literal, small, blueberry-sized piece of cake. It was fun. I also had a muffin whose ingredients I didn't know but it was healthy. I know that giving in to any fear about these things is not the way. I'm okay. And it's been a blast to do this detox. So, I'm continuing my commitment to be without games, porn, sugar, any and all addictions -- my whole dopamine detox. I'm learning so much about myself and about what's possible. I'm thankful. And it's fun. Andrew PS: Yes, I agree with you, it is important to quit masturbating as well as porn. In my experience, when I explored loving masturbation, I found it still depleted me in some regard, and even when the depletion was insignificant or more difficult to discern because I was doing well in life at the time of my masturbation, I found it wasn't a habit I wanted to cultivate. The most significant loss I encountered was the loss of an energy for attraction; of being self-fulfilled in a way that actually stymied my healthy desire for a partner in life. These days I continue to love exploring the path of celibacy until marriage, voluntarily, because it makes everything much clearer for me -- it takes the pressure off that need for sexual stimulation, and it helps me place my trust in the fact that everything will work out naturally as I honor my body's natural rhythms with others. That involves no harm, and a respect for my and others' whole qualities. After much porn and masturbation in my life, much time thinking about and consuming sexual material, it helps very much, in my brain and my body, to recover what it's like just to see someone's whole self not tilted in the direction of sexual compulsion. Good luck to you Pema. I appreciate joining you in this.

Hey Pema -- Sometimes when I'm with a not so comfy person, and the action to take is not obvious, and it's just uncomfortable, I remind myself of two things. One, don't wait for my suffering to end to be happy. And two, anything that takes the smile off my face is not the truth. Continue wishing them well and notice their discomfort as their own, not letting it interrupt the joy of your living. The joy of your living is ultimately the inspirational force that makes people like the not so comfy people adjust -- and if they do not adjust on their own, it is the clearest force that brings you clarity of mind and action as for when to act. Because you are acting out of compassion, now, out of the sincerest wish for all beings -- including you and them, to be well. To be in harmony, in peace. Thanks for being a part of this too. Andrew

Hey Andrew I like your reply. I agree that sending love or reframing people compassionately helps you be in relation to them. Especially with people you aren’t as comfortable with. Ultimately I’ll send everyone love and really try to love them from afar when they chafe me mentally too. I just imagine sending love beams to them. But don’t get involved much more than that. How do you manage it when it’s a not so comfy person(s) in your immediate environment? Thanks for being a part of this Pema

Hey Matt, This is really good. Thanks for sharing. I’ve ran into some people who matched the description you gave of the guy at the gym. I’ve felt the same discomfort especially when I went to the free rec center gym. I had people with severe mental health disorders yell threats at me etc. I found a gym that’s like much more calm feeling and has been safe for me. Especially if I go early in the day when it’s less crowded. If you need a few days to you know deep breathe and let your mind relax before going back to the gym I think that’s good. Is your gym usually chill and this person was the exception? Or is it like that free gym I went to where almost every time I went someone was showing up and vaping in the gym, accosting people verbally or blasting profanity on max volume on their speakers? Last point: you aren’t the only one that dude was acting like that to. The guy yelling at me was reported to have been yelling at members multiple times a day and was eventually banned.

Hey Andrew good new post I quit porn too and masturbating

Hi Amphibian i really like your idea to do good deeds for others to heal your own addiction as well as helping others of course

Hey man good job continuing to post. I know it might not feel like it all the time but, posting here means you’re trying to help yourself out of the self destruction. I’m sorry we have these addictions that hold us back from more fully living. Let’s keep working hard to make it better together

I am attractive. I don’t blame anyone or anything for my suffering, for my addiction. I was dealt a very good lot in life by my estimates. I’m tall handsome athletic intelligent etc. I have the addiction gene. I didn’t have a good family but, all in all I’m grateful for what I got. Thanks for your support. Most journals are blobs of text from what I find so I don’t really feel it’s a negative thing or needs changing. Just the style I and many people use. I’m not much of a concise writer on these. I think you’re projecting your own insecurities on to me. Do you feel that it's the world's fault that you're not attractive and that's why you have a worse lot in life and why you game/gamed?

Something about online recovery forums attracts some pretty harsh comments I’ve noticed. I mean I am here for my own recovery predominantly. I just wish people could be kind and supportive towards me. I don’t really heal from people saying harsh things to me or about my writings here. I don’t think that helps me. then I just post endlessly alone…. Yes that’s honestly how it is here and on nofap.com even writing nofap I feel like I’m scared someone’s gonna pop up and attack nofap. Still it’s better to deal with that sort of thing than people who are being ten times worse in online video games. The trolls and the toxics in games are just a mess. Even the most healthy gamers I’ve played with like it’s still not a healthy environment for me to be in. this is much better for my health. As much as I really don’t fucking like posting here. I guess I got to or I’ll fall off the wagon all over again

I’m a gaming addict there’s no way to stop this far without this website. Posting here is my only way to quit games. The downside is I pretty much always hated posting here. So I’ll try something different. I’ll only post about gaming addiction here. Nothing else. Last night I gamed till 1040pm. I slept like shit. I feel exhausted. I want to quit I keep trying but at night I get horrible cravings. I can not stop myself from gaming at night. Replacement behaviors barriers to entry are not working. i want to sell my ps5 controller. But I don’t know what to d0. I always end up buying another controller to play wasting money. It’s hard. This site is the only thing that’s ever worked for me so, I’ll have to keep posting here. I can sell the controller though. Yeah. I have no idea what else I can do. Aside from refusing to play video games with friends or associates. So I can get through the whole day without games till about six pm then I’m in trouble. My plan is to post here and only write about gaming addiction and read peoples journals when I get the thoughts to game Please help me I’m open to hear any advice suggestions or encouragement tyvm

Day 13 it would be unfair to say without adding that this goes hand in hand with trying to please everyone, imitating others people’s point of view and fearing conflicts and disagreements a lot. The more nice and complicit I act out, the more hate and cynicism builds up within. There were times when I told people what I thought of them, and felt free, but it was far too little. A big part of my past is trying to fit in, being noticed for it and bullied.

Starting my first serious attempt to quit gaming. Happy to be here.

Entry 11.5 Day 116: No Useless Videos Day 948: Sticking to Food schedule Day 551: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00) Day 99: Being in bed before 23:15 3 Things I did well no matter how small -6 Concentrated work units -10 theory units -75% effort run with a bi weekly increase of 10 minutes for the third time 1 Thing I could do better -Finish eating dinner earlier to go to bed earlier Gaming (Death, Slavery, Regret, Disease) - 5 Yan (Life, Individuality, Freedom, Purpose, Self-Fulfillment) - 116

Entry 10.5 (Written on 10.05 and it didn't post for some reason, so I'm posting on 11.5) Day 115: No Useless Videos Day 947: Sticking to Food schedule Day 550: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00) Day 98: Being in bed before 23:15 3 Things I did well no matter how small -5 Concentrated work units -8 theory units -Chest and shoulders workout 1 Thing I could do better -In the conversation with apartment mate, insist a bit more on a structure for the conversation when he said "let's just do it like regular, and not fold straight away. Nonetheless make it more general, start with 15 minutes for his issues and 15 minutes for mine, he can talk about whatever he wants in his 15 minutes. That's already a start of a structure and may help maintain the 30 minute limit. Gaming (Death, Slavery, Regret, Disease) - 5 Yan (Life, Individuality, Freedom, Purpose, Self-Fulfillment) - 116

I don't even know if I'm posting this in the right place, but hi I'm a new member and my name is Erfan. I have been addicted to Dota on and off for 13 years, wow thats crazy to think about since in 27, nearly half my life. It became a real REAL issue for me in my second year of university, where i discovered that at the University Computer Club (UCC), people would regularly go there to game with friends. That room became my escape from reality for my second and third year of university. I would go and play Dota from 8am-8pm and come home to sleep, just to go back the next day and continue. I was a pretty good student, but after starting to visit this room, everything else in my life took a backseat and I gave up on uni, failing about half of my units. This room was a secret from my family but my friends knew I would go there, but at the end of my 3rd year of uni, my family found out what I'd been doing and helped me find a therapist who diagnosed me with ADD and put me on medication. The medication allowed me to concentrate for the first time, and I made a promise to "prove to myself" that I'm not failing uni because I'm dumb, I just got hooked on a game and wasn't trying. And I honestly turned my life around, getting distinctions and high distinctions the next semester and showing myself that i can live a good life if i commit. I worked for a few years and life was pretty good, but a year ago I came back to university, where once again I was tempted to visit UCC. And to a shock to absolutely nobody, I became addicted. But this time nobody knows, I couldn't tell my friends or family that I'd relapsed, they thought I'd beaten my addiction and turned my life around. I've been barely getting by at university this year and keeping this secret has been wearing at me mentally to an extent I'm not sure I acknowledge. I've become extremely anxious, even though I've always been confident and self assured. The gaming is an issue, don't get me wrong, but the lying and secrecy is complete poison. Thats why I'm creating this post, and vouching to come back for 75 days and write about my experience. At the moment I still don't have the courage to tell my friends or family about my predicament, so whoever is reading this will have to do for now. My goals by the end of the 75 days are pretty simple: 1) Don't play or watch dota for 75 days 2) Build up the courage to tell a friend or family member about what I've been hiding 3) Report here every day for 75 days Thank you for reading, and leave me a message letting me know I'm not the only one, or weak and crazy.

clarification I meant today, by "next running sunday"

Don't give in. Get a few things out of the way each day. I divide that into healthy eating, healthy communication (can be a kind exchange with a neighbour), getting clothes in order and light exercise. If you break a sweat each day from moderate exercise these thoughts will terminate. I have to push myself to do something new each day to terminate doubts in my head.

day 12 My mind short circuits from lack of planning or targeted action. It switches to remorse over old time failures. During school years i played the same maps in the strategy game genre and this was combined with competition anxiety. So the mind was trained to repetitively enter a state of anxiety. I treat work like a video game in that i try to work against time pressure. That is the sole driving factor. Danger and risk of loss mobilize my strength. But this is an unreliable defeatist attitude. People dont wait for time pressure but rather complete work with enough breaks in between. If i leave work and dont do something, the mind can go into a pitfall of worrying over meaningless things or recollecting trauma. The thinking stops if i speak to someone or do something.

Entry 9.5 (Written on 10.5) Day 114: No Useless Videos Day 946: Sticking to Food schedule Day 549: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00) Day 97: Being in bed before 23:15 3 Things I did well no matter how small -5 Concentrated work units -8 theory units -Finishing the booking of a lesson for brother's BDay 1 Thing I could do better -Again having planned the call to brother, as I'm going to have to fit it in regarding his birthday in an unplanned manner now -_- Gaming (Death, Slavery, Regret, Disease) - 5 Yan (Life, Individuality, Freedom, Purpose, Self-Fulfillment) - 115 @Amphibian220 Hey your reply got a little bit pushed back, will work on replying in the next few days.

Entry 8.5 (Written on 10.5, accidentally missed it so it seems.) Day 113: No Useless Videos Day 945: Sticking to Food schedule Day 548: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00) Day 96: Being in bed before 23:15 3 Things I did well no matter how small -5 Concentrated work units -8 theory units -Calling regarding birthday gift to my brother to two bike riding teachers 1 Thing I could do better -Havign planned things like the gq entry regarding the food plan and not leave schedule for it just like I'm doing now with this gq entry Gaming (Death, Slavery, Regret, Disease) - 5 Yan (Life, Individuality, Freedom, Purpose, Self-Fulfillment) - 114

The game Age of Fantasy is a turn-based game with fantasy units in the medieval style, which involves a lot of detail about the units, buildings and scenarios. The game contains a lot of interesting content such as online matches, campaigns and casual matches against AI. CAMPAIGN MODE Age of Fantasy contains a series of interesting scenarios, situations and characters involved in the game's campaign mode, with challenging and difficult objectives to complete. The campaign mode is a great way to delve into the details of the game as well as obtaining the gems needed to unlock improvements. ONLINE MATCHES The game also features a multiplayer system, with online matches requiring a certain amount of experience in the game in order to win, requiring strategic thinking and the use of tactics such as unit synergies and other advantages. Not to mention the betting mode, where the match is worth a number of gems, giving more value to victory. FACTIONS The game has 6 factions with their own special abilities and advantages. Each faction has a unique ability. HUMANS Since they are the humans in this chaotic scenario, they have a good mix of units such as infantry, cavalry and archers, as well as special units such as mages, elegant etc... They have a regular concentration of units and are very strong in all aspects. UNDEAD Being the living dead of the game, having a great variety of magical units, being the faction that focuses more on summons and magical units, having little damage cause in its melee units, but compensating for this with summons and long-distance attack with magical units. ORKS Being brutal melee damage dealers, they are very strong at the beginning and end of the game, with very strong end units being difficult opponents. SCALEFOLK A faction with a focus on dragons and debuff, also with heavy units and damage dealers that are very difficult to deal with, their emphasis is on damage and melee combat, also with units with special abilities. ELFs Being incomparable masters of archery, they are unstoppable when it comes to long-range damage, having the best archers in the game, as well as having the support of plant units and damage and stealth abilities. DWARF being the small brutes of the game, focusing on armor and long-range damage, their power is concentrated in the runes their units use and in their naval and aerial war machines. General analysis •easy and quick to learn gameplay •accessibility •nice and colorful graphics •well-structured damage and defense system I usually play as a dwarf, but I also play humans quite often. The faction I liked and played the most were the dwarves.

If you are still watching YouTube, perhaps the easiest pivot is to allow yourself to watch YouTube videos that encourage you to stop watching YouTube. Watch relevant videos from Cam and Dr. K (HealthyGamer). They will bring you what you are seeking. And tap into what you seeking, deep inside you, inside your body, what you truly want and know -- happiness for yourself. A life you can really have that involves no suffering with YouTube. Find that within yourself, seriously, even if it's just a glimmer, and pull from it. Pull all you can, all your effort, to connect that energy of you wanting to stop watching YouTube, of you wanting a life you really enjoy, and see where that takes you next. That is your motivation and you giving yourself life. Andrew

Hey all -- Starting a journal here today. Updating it when it feels right to do so. Well, I'm about 2 weeks free from all my addictive behaviors -- porn, games, sugar. I committed to a dopamine detox for 2 months, allowing myself to recommit when that 2 months is up. I've been happy with everything that has changed. Wow. Naturalness is coming back day by day. I'm finding my groove. But boy, life events. Stressors. They still come around of course. When I've found my groove, sometimes, shit hits the fan. But. I'm stronger, I can manage it better, especially thanks to the power of my commitment and healing here. Now I can make smarter decisions even when I'm stressed. Today I am going to focus on destressing myself so that I'm not expending energy in the background being stressed, and continuing on with my groove. Sometimes it's hard not to worry about how things are, especially with the state of the world sometimes. But I am drawing on my faith, my skills, my strengths, to go another day, one day at a time, living into happiness, and my dream life -- my dream life that's here right now, and my dream life that I'm building too. Andrew

Hey Matt / wheatbiscuit, Good week to you! I'll share that I'm observing a few words you've used, like spiteful, enmity, 'the next challenge', even feeling it might be the end of you when you and other person walked near each other at the gym. It sounds to me like there is something inside of you that needs to be seen and released. Because thankfully, you did not get destroyed by this person. I sense your worries about others. That's awful to carry that type of pain! By something inside of you that needs to be seen and released -- I mean a negative emotion or some type of tension that is inspiring you to see threat in the world, when thankfully there is not so much threat, as evidenced by your example. I don't know you or your situation fully -- my apologies if it truly is threatening where you live and that's a known fact about your neighborhood -- but I can just imagine it would be very challenging to break away from gaming and adopt a positive life outside of gaming if the real world is just a huge big threat! Especially if the people are like, carrying spite and enmity and things like that. I speak from experience -- as you connect with whatever is inside you that spurs your perception this way, you yourself become more at ease, more at peace, and the world just blossoms into something so great you don't want to game anymore. You're motivated by what life is, what you're finding it can be. I haven't read all of your posts, but I'm sure you've sensed this, especially to be here in this forum. And then yeah -- people also treat you differently too when you're not on guard, when you're happier and at peace, people do become happier also, as they share in your joy and the joy you wish for them; they share in the freedom from hate, threat, stress, you wish for them because you yourself know, as a human being, that it is awesome to enjoy your life with safety. They join you in that. And so I extend that to you, friend. Andrew

Hi Marlouk! Welcome. I'm rooting for you and your goals.