All Activity

Day 68/90 I can smell the finish line ladies and gentlemens! We're not too far away! Thanks Allan! Yeah I mean I don't masturbate anymore but just look at porn. You know what the main issue is? For some reason, I want to do 90 days of StopGaming/GameQuitters first before I take any other 90 day streak seriously. Sounds really stupid but there's something in my brain telling me to focus on one at a time and not worry too much about relapsing on anything else for now. I feel like when I hit 90 days StopGaming, I'll continue with it but also take PornFree very seriously. See you all tomorrow! 1/90 PornFree 1/90 NoSurf

Couldn't have said it better myself! Exactly, with games they're always figured out in the first few days and shared on the internet. There's always a meta. It's too predictable nowadays. With life, there's so many different possibilities that only going down the rabbit hole can you explore these countless possibilities. That's exciting, that's new. Life is on hardcore mode, no respawns so everything is super important, that loot you loot is extremely precious, the game of life isn't patched too much, it's relatively open-source, there's pretty much full autonomy, the graphics are spectacular. Everything we do echoes in eternity. That's exciting! I think for me it's a career change and getting back into dating. Those are my End Bosses I haven't fully reached yet.

Day 4, December 9 Several moments, I've noticed (for example) the kneeling and crouching muscles used during chores. When I was hurrying through them to get back to gameplay, they usually seemed light and fluid, when in fact I was building momentum to continue the habits. As well, I had to be really imagining the movements my avatar was making, after I clicked. I couldn't actually feel them as I do crouching, kneeling and scrubbing, AFK. It has also been incredibly task-oriented for me; About to reach a destination? What else haven't I clicked on or arrow-keyed the viewpoint for yet? All of that with the eyes, though I frequently breathed sighs when the swift calculations were over. Most of my body remained still. ^ That's another thing; beginning so many operations in the brain at once - often without moving a muscle - kept me locked-in enough anyway. Thinking freely whilst doing a number of other things AFK is quite sobering. I didn't feel much like typing yesterday; I felt challenged enough through many silent hours. The night of Day 2, I lay down and played some newish music for an hour, paying most of my attention to that and the evening sounds outside of the window. I actually wondered whether that was preferable to further silence - I didn't particularly need the emotional lift it gave me right before bed, that night. It may have made Day 3 more challenging. Will maybe update with more later. Thanks all, ~ Matt Gratitude: ~ Still sleeping solidly, probably because of the head-cold. I managed to finish the last morning's dream with flying baby pigs. They were supposed to covertly transport freshly-baked cookies for me, I think. 😄 ~ Kept the windows open for the pleasant breeze for the first few hours of the night. I rarely remember getting up to eventually close them. ~ No real gaming urges, because 'winning' by many people's standards of the game I've been playing would most likely still demand too much for my part. I did let Connections become a gateway to Wordle (where one can guess even more wrongly) though. ~ Finally swapping a warm winter shirt for a lighter one, after donning it on a strange whim

Entry 8.12 Weeks until average life expectancy: 2748 (80th birthday) -A couple of things that come top of mind This week: -Attended Prufungseinsicht in Goethe and requested a special exam while there -Started 3 separate meals to cope with possible health damage because of dozing off right after dinner and because fo having exteme mindfog after big meals -Booking a new prufungseinsicht -Continuing with jogs even though I still have pain since tha day I got my bones frozen Day 323: No Useless Videos Day 1158: Sticking to Food schedule Day 9: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00) Day 14: Being in bed before 23:15 3 Things I did well, no matter how small - 8 German Units - Having managed to actually 3 meals with 3h 45 minutes in between yet again - Having planned the next day in advance 1 Thing I could do better - Cook carrots instead of chew them 3 Separate meals and 3hrs 45 minutes in between at least Day 3 Gaming (Death, Slavery, Regret, Disease) - 5 Yan (Life, Individuality, Freedom, Purpose, Self-Fulfillment) - 328

Hey Pulse! You're right! You never know what's behind the rabbit hole until you jump. So i did... and heres my first piece of loot: I just beat my first real-life boss: Cold Acquisition. I've put this off for month, overthinking every possible failure, but I finally pulled the trigger. Now I might actually have my first customer. The difference to games? This one hits different. The pressure was way higher than any raid but the reward is REAL. And that feeling is unbeatable. Next Milestone: Setting a clear goal for this Week - 3 more cold outreach contacts to keep the momentum going. I’m honestly curious what else I’ll find in that rabbit hole. Real life seems to have way better loot than expected.😁 What about you guys? What’s the real life End Boss you’ve been avoiding - and whats the real reason you haven’t faced it yet?

Hello, I woke up at 9 AM today, and dedicated my morning to finish reading a 500+ page book. I read it in less than a week, and I believe I managed to do so due to the fact that I bought a dumbphone, and haven't used my smartphone all that much, in addition to quitting gaming. My life is slowly returning to me.

Entry 7.12 (Written on 8.12) Weeks until average life expectancy: 2749 (80th birthday) Day 321: No Useless Videos Day 1156: Sticking to Food schedule Day 7: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00) Day 12: Being in bed before 23:15 3 Things I did well, no matter how small - 11 German Units - Having managed to actually 3 meals with 3h 45 minutes in between despite a 5 hour run, though didn't sleep for about 20 hours... - Waking up at 3 am to manage the above goal (3h 45m, 3 meaks) although I most probably shouldn't repeat it since I'm sacrificing health to get health, which ends up cancelling out the whole purpose ;) 1 Thing I could do better - Find a solution in which I mainain the 3h 45m separation without Sleeping 4 hours at night and then having to stay awake for 20 hours. Some possible solutions: A. half workout in the morning before breakfast and half workout in the evening after dinner (75% effort in morning and jog in the evening) B. The complete workout but after breakfast and not before C. Eating two meals instead of 3 with a calorie deficit and get back to speed on non-running days 3 Separate meals and 3hrs 45 minutes in between at least Day 2 Gaming (Death, Slavery, Regret, Disease) - 5 Yan (Life, Individuality, Freedom, Purpose, Self-Fulfillment) - 327

Great job on 67 days! Almost there. I found seeing an in person therapist helpful for seeing more different perspectives on porn addiction. Some therapists say it's ok to have a balance between fantasy and imagination. If you PMO once, the next one has to be an MO or NoFap. Then the cycle repeats. It can be more helpful for avoiding PMOing everyday since you know that if you wait two days (I found I have to usually wait 2 days after a MO or PMO to be able to MO again just using imagination), then you can MO, then the next one can be a PMO after a day or two. That way, when you eventually do find a partner, you won't be all caught up in the fantasy of P since you alternate between the two. And you won't feel guilty all the time. I've found it's more realistic for me since I don't have a partner yet. I'm sure if you are always PornFree, it could be better but it's what I've found that worked for me. Again, don't have to take advice from a random stranger on the internet; but seeing a therapist has changed my relationship with porn. And I think in a healthier way, in my opinion.

Monday 8th Day 21/90: No Gaming Day 3/90: Meditate >3 minutes (Meditated 15 minutes) Day 3/90: Avoid sleeping in the afternoon for over 30 minutes Day 3/90: Wake up before 11 a.m. 3 Things I Did Well, No Matter How Small Went to the tailor Woke up early for psychologist appointment, didn't hit snooze Avoided potato chips again 1 Thing I Could Do Better Maybe focus more on one area rather than spreading out my attention too much Free Writing I feel like lapsing but will keep going. Yin: 6 days (darkness, pessimism, addiction) 8_12_2025 Yan: 14 days (Optimism, hope, happiness) 6_12_2025

Welcome Kevin! I like to think of it as a rabbit hole, you don't know what happens unless you go down into it (quit gaming)! So let'sa go!

Welcome! Great goals to have, I wish you all the best with them and looking forward to seeing your journal journey!

Day 67/90 Not much to discuss today, just checking in, feeling okay but again on weekends when I'm a bit bored I'll surf so I have to reset my other counters, but at least no video games! See you again tomorrow, 1/90 PornFree 1/90 NoSurf

Hello, Yesterday I went out to have dinner with friends, and returned home at 1 am. I slept in, had breakfast, got dressed, and did some chores.

Entry 6.12 (Written on 7.12) Weeks until average life expectancy: 2749 (80th birthday) Day 320: No Useless Videos Day 1155: Sticking to Food schedule Day 6: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00) Day 11: Being in bed before 23:15 3 Things I did well, no matter how small - 13 German Units - Having managed to actually have 3 meals with 3h 45 minutes in between - Performing the morning routine after breakfast, as written yesterday 1 Thing I could do better - After dinner, do a couple of concentrated units while standing, maybe this will reduce the blood sugar drop, because standing requires some more glucose in the muscles? 3 Separate meals and 3hrs 45 minutes in between at least Day 1 Gaming (Death, Slavery, Regret, Disease) - 5 Yan (Life, Individuality, Freedom, Purpose, Self-Fulfillment) - 326

周日七日日记 第20天/90：没有玩游戏 第2天/90：没有睡超过半个小时的午觉 第2天/90：冥想三分钟 三个东西我做的好不管多小 去了健身房 讀書讀了50分 早起來 一个东西可以做的更好 去跳舞

Sunday 7th Day 20/90: No Gaming Day 2/90: Meditate >3 minutes (Meditated 4 minutes) Day 2/90: Avoid sleeping in the afternoon for over 30 minutes Day 2/90: Wake up before 11 a.m. 3 Things I Did Well, No Matter How Small Studied pedagogy for 25 minutes Studied composing / singing for 25 minutes Drank a healthy protein fruit smoothie 1 Thing I Could Do Better Help dad with the smoothie Free Writing I feel like lapsing but will keep going. Yin: 5 days (darkness, pessimism, addiction) 7_12_2025 Yan: 14 days (Optimism, hope, happiness) 6_12_2025

Day #2, December 7 I felt pretty healthy after the amount of fiction and selective news-reading I did yesterday - so much so that I thought about testing the might of it all on PvP gaming and voice chat. Those are aged thought patterns, probably mostly stemming from early (and occasionally recent) gaming videos with particular music that I liked, fuelling ideas of out-thinking competition online - all likely to the tune of my own compiled playlists. I also reflected on the use of colour-coded game objects/interfaces, sometimes corresponding to other parts of the play. I really do wonder whether anyone actually ever spoke the words, 'That'll reel them in!', referring to prospective players. Maybe the truth of it is a bid to try and encourage players to need the game as much as developers need paying members - loneliness? I really do want to keep sharing positively, because I can't expect anyone reading here to tell people already in my life to 'straighten up, and fly right' friendship-wise - you know, instead of doubling down on an 'I'm always right' attitude. That first truthful paragraph was it, for now. Some gratitude for yesterday: ~ Steering clear of the second hot day, to finally enjoying a full walk in this morning's cooler temperatures ~ More good sleep, though not entirely having kicked my cold (moderate but persistent nose and throat stuff) ~ Forgetting/not having an obsessive dream ~ Halfway through 'The Stand' reading, keeping better track of the pace and descriptions Peace, ~ Matt

Day 66/90 Real quick one as I've been super busy today, no games, feeling good, see you all tomorrow! 1/90 PornFree 1/90 NoSurf

Hello, Today I woke up at around 9:40 AM. I went out with my family to have breakfast, buy groceries, and have lunch. I arrived at home an hour ago, and I stored all the groceries, and now I am writing this. Later I will store some recently ironed clothes in their respective drawers, and then go for a walk. Later, I will have dinner with friends. Day 1 without gaming, since my last setback.

周六六日日记 第19天/90：没有玩游戏 第1天/90：没有睡超过半个小时的午觉 第1天/90：冥想三分钟 三个东西我做的好不管多小 走了半個小時 寫了75分的程式 10：20早上起來 一个东西可以做的更好 繼續寫歌

Entry 5.12 (Written on 6.12) Weeks until average life expectancy: 2749 (80th birthday) Day 319: No Useless Videos Day 1154: Sticking to Food schedule Day 5: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00) Day 10: Being in bed before 23:15 3 Things I did well, no matter how small - 14 German Units - Having written food first before morning routine - Writing a message to my previous German teacher requesting text reviewing times 1 Thing I could do better - It's time to take the foot of the table. It seems I am in the process of developing an unhealthy habit, namely - Eating a big quantity of food volumewise without sufficient pauses in between. Unhealthy means it may, and in the long term if not dealt with probably will cause health damage. In fact, it probably already is, and possibly have. In particular: Big quantities of blood flowing to the stomach and away from other organs may cause: -Early falling asleep without sufficient space in between sleeping and eating, which may cause GERD Gastroesophagial Reflux Disease -Digestion during sleep may cause reduced sleep quality -My planned evening activities go to the trash -Reduced bloodflow to the brain closes extreme mindfog, which makes it extremely hard to concentrate, and even if I do, through willpower, manage to stay awake - Reduces my studying or activity effectiveness in general drastically. -Besides the temporary effect of reduced effectivity - Longterm a reduced bloodflow to the brain, may and probably will cause motoric damage. If it hasn't already(Probably did, but in a neglectible manner for now) This in turn may cause: -Earlier dementia or other cognitive diseases -A reduced ability to collect and maintain things in the memory which may mean I may have a reduced capacity to maintain learned languages or skills, or maybe have it completely impaired. -Healing processes are reduced as a result of decreased sleep efficiency (Because of digestion and interruptions) which may cause slower workout recovery, and in the long term a reduced ability for some physical abilities, for example running hindering injuries, like I have now. Which I do not necessarily attribute to solely lack of sleep, but lack of sleep may definitely contribute to it's development and worsening, whether to an already existing condition or a development of a new one. None of those conclusions have been thoroughly researched promptly before writing here, although they were based on my existing knowledge which I somewhat gathered in the past and possibly through scientific reads too, I do not know the sources now, but those are my presuppositions. I might be wrong in one or the other of them, but what is certain is that I am doing harm. Which is why today I have written in the schedule that I will switch the places of food preparation and the morning routine. I have a planned space between meals which is 3 hrs and 45 minutes, not to be crossed(Also lunch and dinner are no longer allowed to be eaten together). This might mean that I have to wake up earlier on running days or just eat a calorie deficit. I don't know yet. But health is very important and If I want to keep it I need to find a solution to this situation. And not a temporary one at that, rather one tied with a habit. 3 Separate meals and 3hrs 45 minutes in between at least Day 0 Gaming (Death, Slavery, Regret, Disease) - 5 Yan (Life, Individuality, Freedom, Purpose, Self-Fulfillment) - 325

Saturday 6th Day 19: No Gaming Day 1: Meditate >3 minutes (Meditated 4 minutes) Day 1: Avoid sleeping in the afternoon for over 30 minutes Day 1: Wake up before 11 a.m. 3 Things I Did Well, No Matter How Small Studied coding for 50 minutes Had greek yoghurt without sugar with some frozen mixed berries Woke up earlier today 1 Thing I Could Do Better Go for a walk Free Writing Yin: 4 days (darkness, pessimism, addiction) 30_11_2025 Yan: 14 days (Optimism, hope, happiness) 6_12_2025

Day 65/90 Sadly again I got a bit bored, surfed around etc., so I gotta reset my other counters again but StopGaming/GameQuitters still going strong at 65 days! See you all tomorrow! 1/90 PornFree 1/90 NoSurf

Day #1, December 6 The forum page above the post before this one probably says '4 weeks later...' - with the classic triple periods. The funny thing may be that I kept very poor track of medium-term time during my first detox, aside from occasionally reflecting on what two-digit day count I had started each entry with (single digits are the most 'whack' and difficult, right?). I guess the hope at the back of my mind has always been a lack of surprise, or even eagerness in others at the prospect of talking like this in person. Maybe it is 'just me' that imagines forum users feeling shame at being automatically 'called out' by its code, for not having posted recently - given what we're here for, but I doubt it. Following on from whack-ness, I spent almost all of last night dreaming that I had to prepare a comprehensive speech on a single in-game item, which I had been hoarding for some time. I knew that 'using' them meant hours of fevered watching and clicking, and worse - agitation and irritation if I had to pay attention to anything else alongside. But the speech had to rely on both delivery (hand gestures), flow and humour, without reading word-for-word from cards or, egad, a sheet of paper. ____________ Gamers were (once) the best kind of people, I have said before. Personally, younger me knew that I had to continue growing in feeling and thought, despite not getting far enough with existing relationships. So I went online. That probably isn't even that uncommon a story. But I got right through everything, to where those good kinds of people (players) were no longer challenging. This however, still is. People around me still F-up colossally, and what I intend to do is go about my modest objectives, showing that it's possible not to do lasting harm to others along the way. Keep it up, guys. ~ Matt

Day 3/14 I allowed myself to wake up at the same time as yesterday since I had a hard time falling asleep. I guess it just takes a while for the body to get used to waking up earlier. Other than that, I played piano, worked on my thesis for around three hours, went to the library, did a little grocery shopping. Quite a boring day honestly. Don't know what to do right now. Maybe I'll watch a movie or smth.