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  1. Today
  2. Entry 11.11 Day 772: No Useless Videos Day 770: Sticking to Food schedule Day 373: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00) Day 76: Being in bed before 23:15 3 Things I did well no matter how small -16 pomodoros -3 calls regarding parkings -25 minutes in sun 1 thing I could do better -When I saw there's problem with tahini in the store I planned, and it takes lots of time, having decided faster to buy at the store i usually go this week and then look for some other product since i see it's gonna be too great of a headache to order from the place i planned to initially
  3. Sun 11.10 Yet another busy day, because my family wanted to celebrate my oldest kids birthday. Lucky kid gets 3 birthday parties, he has another one after school with my in-laws. 😄 No mobile games - 201 days No compulsive social media use: 39 days No compulsive research: 39 days No passive screentime before bed, first thing in the mornings, or during work: 42 days A short one again tonight. ----- Things I will do to stay healthy Sleep around 8h - To sleep at 11:15pm after having a quick hygiene routine. Baby woke up at 12am, then I went to bed at 12:30am after that. Woke up at 7:30am. So all around a good sleep considering. Brush teeth + floss - I brushed again upon waking up, and will be brushing and flossing afterwards. Go for walks / Exercise - It was pretty rainy today, so I focused on some indoor active games with my kids while my wife made cupcakes for my oldest kids class (for his birthday). One being a jumping rope one which gets me sweating in less than 5 minutes. I hit 500 jumps on that, not consecutively, doing 100 per turn. Shower + wash face - I had a shower after doing the active games, cuz I sweat a lot during those. Meditate + Deep Breaths - ... I should've really made time for this earlier. At least I got the shower part done earlier today. Drink Water - I drank an entire bottle of carbonated water, that soda stream thing has been a very good investment. Nutrition Breakfast: Lunch: leftover pizza Dinner: at my parents, my dad made hot dogs and burgers with an air frier, with frozen fries from the oven... I stuck to just the first ones, don't like the freezer foods a lot myself. Talk to my partner - We got some time to chill out while my kids were at my parents, and also after they went to bed pretty zonked. Well, mostly, because my middle kid ended up falling asleep in our bed; he was wired from the sugar of the cake he had. But he was chilled out in our bed and fell asleep pretty quickly. Talk to my kids + play with them - Yeah, active games aside, my parents have a big piano and tons of keyboards (my mom plays and sells instruments) so they had fun playing with them to their hearts content. I supervised the baby mostly, as my parents have a long flight of stairs at their place, now that the baby is crawling it's a risk. Read a book - I read 1 short story from Hemingway before I got to typing this, again following his character NIck. Practice French - Oui, avec le hibou vert et ma famille. Journal - I'm pretty tired, I'll have to talk to my parents about maybe making cake-time a bit sooner than 6:30pm, specially with it being a Sunday and tomorrow being a school day. But... well I get that it's my oldests birthday and they did want to celebrate it a day where my dad doesn't work. So then again, maybe it's fine. It's not like this happens often. ------ 7 habits - proactivity test - day 23 Commitments yesterday: Continue to review the ADHD Coaching strategies Earlier today I set up my phone for work status, which is a strategy that my coaching document details; set up your devices so you can access the details you need, and also set up reminders for yourself on the date you need them. I'll keep a note of that and review my plan for work tomorrow morning first thing, then make notes for my future self as appropriate. The other things that have worked fairly well from that doc are journaling, silencing unimportant emails (and unsubbing from them), practicing Pomodoro at work (timers) and creating a list of commitments for the next work day. You'll note that is also what I've been doing with this journal since starting that 30 day proactivity test. I don't plan on stopping those little commitments to myself. (if time allows) continue with 7 Habits Real busy day today, that's why I just called it as a stretch objective (i.e. if time allows). I'll commit to these tomorrow. Commitments for tomorrow Review my work plan first thing after I check-in to work tomorrow, and make notes for my future self continue with 7 Habits workbook -- Night everyone. Will be meditating and brushing my teeth now 🙂
  4. Yesterday
  5. Entry 10.11 Day 771: No Useless Videos Day 769: Sticking to Food schedule Day 372: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00) Day 75: Being in bed before 23:15 3 Things I did well no matter how small -18 pomodoros -75% effort run... -15minutes in sun 1 thing I could do better -A few days of tahini at lunch instead of chlorella to see if they're the cause of my throat pain as result of acid reflix
  6. Sat 11.09 Today was a really busy day, what with my oldest having a birthday party. I also traded in my phone today (it was running out of lease time), and I brought my oldest and middle kids to swimming lessons. No mobile games - 200 days No compulsive social media use: 38 days No compulsive research: 38 days No passive screentime before bed, first thing in the mornings, or during work: 41 days Gonna keep it short, well short for me anyways. ----- Things I will do to stay healthy Sleep around 8h - went to bed at 11pm, woke up at 7:30am. None of the kids joined us, which was a first! Although I did have to go to my middle kids bed to comfort him (he had a bad dream). Brush teeth + floss - upon waking up I brushed my teeth. I still have to do this for the night + the flossing part too, so I'm gonna do that after I journal. Go for walks / Exercise - I was so busy moving things out of the car to make space for all the presents that my kid was going to get. We packed a wagon as well in the car. And I chased 2 kids and watched over a baby in the party... so I'm going to consider that my cardio and workout for the day. As I've said, weekends are always pretty busy, so I'll take what I can get during those. The gym time is a lot more important to me on weekdays, that I prefer to not skip during weekdays. Shower + wash face - I'll do this after or before brushing my teeth. Meditate + Deep Breaths - Oh yeah... today was so busy I didn't even think about it. Okay, I will do some meditation after posting to relax. So order will be meditation -> hygiene stuff called out above. Drink Water - throughout the day, I brought my water bottle with me when going out. Nutrition * Breakfast: cereal * Lunch: mac n cheese * Dinner: pizza dinner - which my oldest got sick on actually. My wife and I think he may be lactose intolerant, he also doesn't like milk or cheese snacks anymore and he used to up until last year. It's explaining why now. Talk to my partner - I talked about my commitments and what I set out to do as part of the Proactivity test. I've told my wife about the 7 Habits and do my best to discuss the material, but I am going to keep up talking about those little commitments I make for myself. Talk to my kids + play with them - Birthday party... so yeah haha. Read a book - While my kids were doing swimming lessons, I actually read a bit more of the 7 Habits workbook and transcribed some of the answers I had done. I put my mission statement into a note on my new phone, so I can easily access it. Practice French - I did about 30min when we got back from the party, after all kids were asleep. Also at the party all of the parents spoke French (as my kid goes to a French school). Journal - Feeling sober and alive :) ------ 7 habits - proactivity test - day 22 Commitments yesterday: Download copy and go through the ADHD Coaching document on cementing and post-coaching retention strategies. I've downloaded a copy onto my phone as of the morning, but with it being so busy, I've only reviewed a few of the strategies given. One which I practice often is booking things in my calendar, to the point that I will write it down instantly now. This is the main reason for why I wanted to have a phone with a stylus, so I could also take handwritten notes on a whim. It helps me to manage my forgetfulness, partly which is caused by my ADHD brain. Well, I guess it's not necessarily forgetfulness; it's also hyperfocus. I notice that I'll be super into a task sometimes, whether it is work or personal. My wife will then ask me to do something, but even if I am attentive at that moment, I will forget about it as soon as I go back to work or the personal task. So writing things down helps me. Talk to my partner about my commitments that I achieve and set for myself. Yes, I talked to her about the ADHD coaching goals I got, and how I was going to download the document. All of the above that I wrote down, I also mentioned to her, this is why notetaking and journaling in detail helps me. (if time allows) continue with 7 Habits No, but this was a stretch. I will probably not be doing this tomorrow either, as my parents invited us over so they can celebrate my oldest kids birthday as well 😄 I won't say no to that. But I will still put it as part of my commitments, if time allows. Commitments tomorrow: Continue to review the ADHD Coaching strategies (if time allows) continue with 7 Habits -- Night everyone. I'm now going to meditate -> shower -> brush my teeth (or some similar order) -> finally go to sleep
  7. Last week
  8. Entry 9.11 Day 770: No Useless Videos Day 768: Sticking to Food schedule Day 371: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00) Day 74: Being in bed before 23:15 3 Things I did well no matter how small -12 pomodoros -morning workout -taing yesterday's remark and reading a bit more of parking blog posts during breaks 1 thing I could do better -at apartment meeting, start with reading all my notes i gather throughout the week and talking about the most important ones. This way when 30 minutes pass I'll know I only have the least important ones and will have a higher probability of stopping and not continue talking for more than an hour as I usually do.
  9. It's tough. I think we're making good progress on our addictive habits overall if we compare to years ago. It's just one of those things that's going to be a battle of endurance and patience. We've got this.
  10. I got 3 days of better sleep for some reason. It's like he got a splash of life without sleep regression. But last night almost no sleep and I'm exhausted again. It's like I didn't catch up on sleep at all. One day. I'm trying to look at the positives. Overall it's a better week and I'm hopeful he'll climb out of it soon.
  11. Fri 11.08 No mobile games - 199 days No compulsive social media use: 37 days No compulsive research: 37 days No passive screentime before bed, first thing in the mornings, or during work: 40 days Earlier today, I took some time to write a post here on this forums general section; (Don't think of Moderation as the End Goal; Think of Sobriety as the End Goal)[https://forum.gamequitters.com/index.php?/topic/11173-dont-think-of-moderation-as-the-end-goal-think-of-sobriety-as-the-end-goal/]. I wrote about where I am coming from, and that gives background on why I have those specific day counters for the goals I've set up for myself. I also shared the link to the worksheet from ITAA which helped me get that clarity for myself. My last ADHD coaching session was today, the last one my company is providing anyways. That has been so helpful honestly, and it's been what really motivated me to start journaling again. And she was very pleasantly surprised when I told her that I've been journaling for 43 days straight now (since Sept 26th). She told me to keep doing it too, because journaling is very helpful for reflecting and maintaining the good habits I've built so far. All around great feedback to get, and I'm glad she's been seeing the difference too. This helped a lot, I did talk about yesterday how I might be less productive today; and for the first hour it seemed that was what was going to happen. Talking with her really gave me some good action items to maintain the habits I've formed and to not fall into this trap of "settling back" after a good accomplishment. ----- Things I will do to stay healthy Sleep around 8h - To bed at 11:45pm and woke up at 6:45am, all around about 7 hours again. I stayed up working through the 7 Habits workbook. My last journal entry was posted shortly after I finished those exercises. Partly, I think the lateness is because I forgot about some of the plans I had committed to; errands with my wife and volunteering online. So if I am to maintain these things that I want to do every day, I have to also make an effort to note down commitments in my calendar, check it as well (not just waiting for alerts) and then communicate them with my wife earlier in the day. Stretch - upon waking up, before the gym workout and afterwards too. ...I've been pretty good about stretching, so next entry I'm going to remove it from this template. I feel confident enough to have baked this as a good habit, and I regularly don't say much about it anymore. I'll keep doing it, and if I have to mention something about it, I'll put it under the exercise objective. ...But I'm also gonna add an objective; Brush teeth + Floss. I have noticed that I tend to forget the flossing part some nights. And tonight is gonna be the night I will commit to making both of these a thing. I'll brush AND floss after this entry is posted. I'll make this a night habit. Go for walks / Exercise - My wife and I did quite a bit of arms; bicep curls, tricep extensions, lateral lifts, flys, and overhead press. We finished with planks. Very good workout today; despite waking up a bit late, I did get my kids to school fairly quickly this morning, which helped get more gym time before work. Shower + wash face - got both done after the workout. Meditate + Deep Breaths - At work today, there was actually a guided meditation that they set up for employees to do during a break. That was mighty kind of them! They invited a meditation coach to do it for us. It was great! The theme was about taking a moment to check-in with ourselves as a way to expand our perspective and achieve our goals; we often show up for other people, but we don't tend to make time to show up for ourselves (to check-in with us). So we tell ourselves 3 times; "may we be safe and secure, may we be peaceful and at ease, and may we be kind to ourselves in this moment." Drink Water - yes. I will still keep this even though I don't say much about it, because it is a helpful reminder for me :D Nutrition * Breakfast: 2 banana muffins my mother in law brought us (very kind of her) * Lunch: omelette with spicy peppers and cheese * Dinner: quick pasta dinner Talk to my partner - I was told by my ADHD coach during our final session to use accountability partners for my commitments; so that helps me explain for why I find journaling on this forum to be effective. One thing she mentioned was to also mention my accomplishments to my wife, and letting her know what my commitments are for the next day. I'll keep that in mind and do that, and moving forward. Talk to my kids + play with them - Tonight I read more books with my kids, which also serve as good French practice for me. Read a book - The 7 Habits workbook, see section below. Practice French - I posted on NewHopes intro topic en français, did Duolingo earlier, and practiced with my partner and kids. Journal - I am grateful that I've stayed logged off all social media besides my Messenger account for 37 days now. I like this feeling of being more aware and mindful with what I do. ------ 7 habits - proactivity test - day 21 Commitments yesterday: * Post my paper exercises in my entry tomorrow * Do more exercises as well; maybe see if I can finish Habit 2s exercises (I'll make that last part a stretch though) Reviewing my personal mission statement first: I will strive to live a balanced life in my creative pursuits, my job, my family life, and my spiritual life; being honest, patient, loving and driving a positive impact based on my values with everything I do. I'm going to modify it a bit to this; My mission is to be an honest, patient, loving and positive source of energy and support. I will strive to hold a balanced lifestyle in everything I do; my family, my job, my hobbies and creative pursuits, and my spirituality. I will drive a positive impact to the best of my ability, based on my values with everything I do. I will keep an open mind, seeking to understand before being understood. I will continue to strive for improvement, use the tools which I've been given and found successful, and always work on my personal growth. I feel that this better represents what I want to be and strive for. But I'll keep doing edits to it and revisit on the 13th to do steps 5 and 6 from that workbook. I'll update the About Me section of my profile for now with this statement. Roles and Goals The workbook asks me to write my roles in life, limiting it to seven or less just for this exercise. Also write the statement of optimal performance in role. What sticks out to me: ==Father== Be patient, kind, loving, an active listener, someone to make good times with, and a good role model. ==Husband== Never compromise honesty. Be an active listener, spend quality couple time together, working together to raise successful children and have a lifetime of great experiences together. == Software/Database Engineer == Be interdependent in my work, driving and achieving a greater impact with my team. Continue to work towards self improvement with the techniques I picked up from ADHD Coaching. == Friend == Spend quality time with friends regularly, being a good listener and supportive with them. == Writer == Write readable and understandable documentation. Express my creative ideas through (short) stories and prose, review my journaling for my self reflection, with a goal of publishing later in life. == Volunteer == continue to volunteer with the online tech club, find a physical place in my community to also volunteer and/or donate which I'm passionate about **Goals** Goals are what give your mission statement momentum; they create a plan of action and help measure whether or not you are successfully living your mission statement. Three Long term goals to support my mission, along with solidification reasons for why they matter to me: Goal 1 - strive towards continuous self improvement in my career, taking the opportunities I am given and making an effort to create opportunities for myself and others. This goal is important to me so that I may continue to grow in my field. A year or so back, I actually called out that I wanted to get promoted on this forum as one of my goals. But in hindsight, I think I just ended up hoping it would happen to me, rather than actually taking up my ownership to work towards that goal. Goal 2 - Continue to work on my awareness and mindfulness, sticking with these seeking to first listen to others before being understood. I tend to blow up a lot and let my emotions control me. By practicing the 7 Habits, along with meditation, that has helped visualize situations which are usually stressful in which I can choose a better response. Goal 3 - Remain committed to journaling every day and reflecting on my entries frequently to aid me on my growth. Publish my own creative project, be it a collection of short stories or a novel, or even a technical text. This has been really helpful for me, as I've mentioned several times here, for my own reflection. It also really helps me in the sense that I can focus on what is important to me; the things I will do to stay healthy, for instance, and my mission statement here. As for writing, that is something I do really want to explore in my own time. -- I did not finish all of Habit 2 yet, but I'll continue either tomorrow or Sunday; I don't want to commit for tomorrow because my oldest is having a birthday party, so that will keep me busy. The next part is the "How" I plan on accomplishing these goals. Commitments tomorrow: * Download copy and go through the ADHD Coaching document on cementing and post-coaching retention strategies. * Talk to my partner about my commitments that I achieve and set for myself. * (if time allows) continue with 7 Habits Good night everybody!
  12. Entry 8.11 Day 769: No Useless Videos Day 767: Sticking to Food schedule Day 370: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00) Day 73: Being in bed before 23:15 3 Things I did well no matter how small -16 pomodoros, awesome! -morning workout -15 minute in sun even though it was cloudy, as much as I managed to catch 1 thing I could do better -Read about garages at breaks sometimes?
  13. SLEEP I feel good this morning. I went to bed yesterday at 11:30 pm and woke up at 8:00 a.m. That's a total of 8.5 hours of sleep. I think that's my sweet spot. My body and mind NEED eight to nine hours of continuous, hopefully uninterrupted sleep. I read a book before going to bed and that helped so much. I was groggy within fifteen minutes of reading and shut my eyes. No cell phone by bed. I woke up to my cell phone alarm ringing from the nearby living room. The good thing about placing my phone farther away is that I have to physically hoist myself out of bed to turn it off. I did not drink anything before bed. I forgot to take the Omega-3 fish oil x2 and Vitamin D x2. No sweets before bed. EXERCISE Yesterday I got called in to do a four hour shift. But before that, I went for a quick 30 minute walk around a local park. This is my third day of walking outside for exercise. I haven't been to the gym yet this week because I want to enjoy the nice weather and get some fresh air and Vitamin D. My mood has been elevated this week because I've been outdoors. It's interesting. I dread the upcoming winter, because it will be grey and rainy for another five to six months. I might buy a UV lamp, and walk indoors (at the mall, gym --not so interesting, outdoor track if not too cold). SOCIAL Coworkers included as a social element, I guess. I don't really know them that well. I just fill in shifts in various offices, so it's not like I have an existing permanent working space. It was tiring after work because I expend a lot of energy talking and gathering information from my coworkers. I was glad to get home in the late afternoon. CRAFTS/ART Too tired to continue with my crafts. I bought my dinner and ate it, then worked on the puzzle. it's 1000 pieces, and I just sorted out the colors (red pieces, blue, etc). I haven't started putting those parts together yet, but I am proud to say that the entire border is done!! READING I continued reading before bed. This seems to be a very good time because it also makes me sleepy. Te of Piglet is almost halfway done. I'm taking my time to reflect on the morals described in the book. I don't believe in the Taoist perspective, but I can apply some of its morals and views in my life. It's really about how the individual responds/reacts to the world from a Taoist viewpoint. And I love how the author writes about Piglet, a tiny animal that is a bit shy and anxious. But nevertheless, a strong character. I'll describe Piglet in more detail later, in my future journals. So far I love this book. SPIRITUALITY I'm still praying for others later at night before I sleep. Sometimes I'll write a list down about people, situations, government, workplace, my own spiritual growth, etc. I've connected with the church friend. She emailed me again and mentioned that she'll meet me by the back pews of the church. She's such a sweet person and confided in me that she is also shy in large group settings. She will contact the Life Group leader, as I have to sign up for this group first before attending. I'm looking forward to church service this Sunday, at least I won't feel so alone going in, as my friend will be there too. REFLECTIONS It was a busy and productive day yesterday. Four hours of work really helps fill up the gaps. I think and feel like I'm getting into a routine. Sleep is the foundation to create a routine in my day. If I have very poor sleep, it really affects how productive I am. Poor sleep makes me feel confused, I have a lack of motivation, I'm unable to pay attention, I'm irritated, and it affects my mood negatively. I really don't want to experience that anymore. So, a strict sleep schedule will continually be my main focus on a daily basis. Have a good day, GQ members! Blessings, ~ Torch
  14. Hi GQ, This post is in regards to all the other conversations I've seen here, in r/stopGaming, along with other discussion groups, about achieving moderation. I wanted to speak to this topic because, as someone who has been successfully sticking to important things first for 30+ days now, while having kept casual gaming as a hobby for several years now, I do feel a sense of responsibility to not give the wrong impression. I do personally believe that we can do anything we want and set our mind to. But I do also want to point out that, in my experience, moderation by itself isn't what helps me; rather, it's Sobriety which lets me maintain a balanced lifestyle. Sobriety is what I would say we want to achieve and maintain, and I think it is much more helpful to think of that as the end goal. Sobriety is what lets us truly be clear of mind and aware, letting us do and work on the things which matter most to us. We are all different. Maybe it's only a few types of games that are addictive for you, maybe it's a majority of them. Or we all may even have other addictions we aren't even aware of yet. Maybe it's just gaming for you, or maybe you could also addicted to gambling, drinking alcohol, smoking weed, social media, overeating, overworking yourself, and so forth. You have to be willing to explore yourself and discover these things. If you want a good resource for finding out what your Sobriety is like, I suggest you check out the Discovering Your Sobriety Worksheet from Internet and Technology Addicts Anonymous (ITAA). For me, gaming isn't as a whole addictive; but I do recognize that gaming can be triggering for me still, as it can cause me to crave other much more destructive and addictive behaviors. For example, some games can make me want to hop on social media to look for more stuff about that game. Often times this is what has turned a seemingly innocent 1h game session into an 8h doomscrolling session. This is an example of a middle line for me, a trigger. I would say that gaming, majority wise, is a middle line for me too; there are other handfuls of games that I can still play and stick to limits with, but it's definitely not necessary or a priority that I play them. That said, there are also some games which I am way too compulsive with, so much so that the effort to try "moderating" those just isn't a good use of my time; it's simply too much effort and it's just not worth it. Mobile games are particularly bad for me; I don't have a single game on my phone for that reason. They are bottom lines for me. Similarly, the majority of social media is also a bottom line, because I am way too compulsive with my use; jumping from subs in Reddit, to different channels on Discord, to endless reels on Instagram, to doomscrolling for Tweets. It is just too much effort for me to try moderating it, for what is very little benefit in comparison to the effort required. Think of bottom lines as deep dark swamps you get sucked into, very hard to get out of; we abstain from even getting close to them. So, even if you can achieve moderation, it may not be with the games you're hoping with now; be honest and ready to cut out those which you are too compulsive with, those which are too much effort to stay balanced with. Personally, I do not see myself ever moderating Empires & Puzzles; this is a game which I was way too addicted to in the past, failed too many times to moderate it, and thus is too much mental effort for me to get to that state for very little benefit. I abstain fully from it instead because it's a much more productive use of my energy, I can instead focus my energy into things that bring me more fulfillment rather than on sticking to a schedule I can hardly maintain with that and similar games. To maintain your Sobriety, you want to lean into your top lines; activities and behaviors you identified that allow you to live a healthier and positive life, and which get you closer to being the person you want to be. This can involve minimal, healthy, positive technology use too. One example I can think of for myself in regards to video games is playing an online Scrabble game with my grandmother who lives far away from me. Intention is the key thing here; in this case, the intention is to foster and grow relationships with people I care about. The game is simply the environment we meet in to accomplish that. But again, this looks different for everyone. In summary, it's not about moderating; it's not even about whether cold turkey vs moderation is better necessarily. Instead, it's more helpful to think of achieving and maintaining Sobriety as the end goal. This is a state that looks different for everyone, and that is why I am sharing that worksheet; I really recommend doing the exercise yourself to discover what your Sobriety looks like.
  15. Please check the About Me section on my profile for my Mission Statement and resources I recommend to help achieve sobriety.

  16. Bonjour NewHope! De même, j'ai joué pendant 12 heures consécutives, et avec les temps, j'ai atteint moins de 2h. Bienvenue! J'habite au Canada Ontario. Maintenant, j'apprends le français avec mes enfants et ma femme; elle est franco-ontarien, et mes enfants vont a un école de le consiel français. Je pratique avec ils tous les jours. C'est l'une des raisons pour lesquelles je suis ici; parce que je veux me concentrer sur ce qui compte le plus pour moi. (Apologies in advance if I made mistakes; I am still learning French. I currently speak English and Spanish fluently as well)
  17. Jour 1 2h10 sur smartphone et JV entre 21h30 et 23h OK. Jour 2 1h08 sur smartphone et pas de JV car soirée en amoureux Jour 3 aujourd'hui, je suis seul à la maison pour une bonne partie de la journée, mais je relis mes objectifs, les avantages/inconvénients de mon comportement sain et ce petit post sur le forum m'aide également !
  18. Entry 7.11 (Written on 8.11) Day 768: No Useless Videos Day 766: Sticking to Food schedule Day 369: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00) Day 72: Being in bed before 23:15 3 Things I did well no matter how small -11 pomodoros -40ish hours water fast -2hr 20 run fasted 1 thing I could do better -Sticking to pause timeframes, apart from the one for going out to the sun
  19. Thu 11.07 No mobile games - 198 days No compulsive social media use: 36 days No compulsive research: 36 days No passive screentime before bed, first thing in the mornings, or during work: 39 days Today was fairly busy, moreso than I remembered it would be yesterday; had to go pick up holiday presents that were pre-ordered, and also did volunteering; for the latter, I got thrown off due to not volunteering last Thursday (because it was Halloween). I'm going to keep this entry short as a result. The most notable things from today to call out in this reflection part were at work and volunteering. At work, I FINALLY got a script working to deploy a resource to Azure. Man... it is an absolute pain to work with Azure. So many IDs to keep track off, all of them called something else depending on where you are looking. I felt almost "drunk" after finishing, and I'm making a note of that; it's almost like all the work research I did and the final pay-off elated me. It all was very productive though; so I'm just watching myself to make sure I don't go on a "hangover" after success (as per the meditation I did today; details on that follow). This also aligns with the 7 Habits, particularly the 2nd one of beginning with the end in mind; what I'm doing is more like devops work, even though I'm a database engineer, but I'm learning a lot and taking this opportunity to expand my skillset beyond my comfort zone. Volunteering today was more research heavy more than anything. I looked through a massive city budget document to find data that was missing from the govs public files. This is exactly why we are working on this project, it's very confusing to make any sense of this data even if it is public. Our goal is to get a dashboard that can easily filter this data and isolate key points, and have boxes which can quickly be checked on or off. Say to make sense of the Police budget, or the Parks and Recreation budget. This is info that I had no idea was made public until I looked into it myself with this volunteering activity. ----- Things I will do to stay healthy Sleep around 8h - Closer to 7h today, went to bed shortly after my update yesterday around 11:10pm, and then I got up at 6:30am. Today was a two coffees kinda day Stretch - after waking up, before the gym workout and afterwards. Also I've been using my standing desk on the stand setting throughout today, to make in-between stretching easier (also easier on my back) Go for walks / Exercise - This morning, my wife and I did squats, ab twists, and planks. I'm glad we worked out together. Shower + wash face - after the workout I did both of these Meditate + Deep Breaths - after the shower. Todays guided one was about this idea of a self-doubt hangover; after a really successful project, I've noticed myself that I tend to then come down from that high and think thoughts like "I could've done that instead" or "maybe this didn't drive the impact I thought it would" and so forth. It's my inner saboteur doubting my success. But the guided meditation also reminded me that this is just our narrative; not necessarily what others really thought, chances are it's better than what our mind makes it out to be. ^Hence why I'm keeping an eye for tomorrow on myself. Gotta make sure I carry this feeling to keep succeeding and moving forward with the project, not to hide away from it now that the "hard" part is over. You'd think now that I have easy things to do for work tomorrow I'd just do them, right? Well... ADHD is a funny thing, I often leave things unfinished as soon as they get easy. The fact I'm aware of this is a good sign, and that is why I'm journaling about it; so I don't fall into procrastination tomorrow. Drink Water - I did stay very well hydrated today, I made some carbonated water in advance. Nutrition Breakfast: cereal Lunch: I made some quesadillas for myself Dinner: my wife and I had to run an errand, we packed up the kids and then we just picked up take-out because it was getting late Talk to my partner - during gym workout, running an errand later in the day, and we spent time together at night after all kids were asleep. She likes horror a lot, one thing she likes to do is watch horror movies / series together. We stopped at 10:15pm which is a bit later than I would've liked, but I'm not going to be anal either about 15min. Talk to my kids + play with them - I totally forgot I had civic tech club when writing yesterdays entry, not only that but also forgot about having to go out with my wife to go pick up some holiday gifts. I did get to spend some fun time with all my kids after though, I took over the bath time for the kids and got them dressed for bed, and I read stories in French to the baby. Read a book - Children's stories aside, I did do some 7 Habits just now before getting ready for bed and transcribing this out. Practice French - I only got a chance to practice while I was holding the baby; I forgot about me volunteering today for the civic tech club in my city. Children's books are helping me too haha 😄 Journal - short entry today ------ 7 habits - proactivity test - day 20 Commitments yesterday: * French practice with story and younger kids Yes, as per above. * Read more 7 Habits workbook and get through more exercises As I said, I did do these. But I'll be posting them from paper -> typing tomorrow... That will be a commitment. It's already pretty late and I should prioritize going to bed soon rather than transferring more from paper to computer in this entry. Commitments tomorrow: * Post my paper exercises in my entry tomorrow * Do more exercises as well; maybe see if I can finish Habit 2s exercises (I'll make that last part a stretch though)
  20. Keep up your detox, and focus on discovering other things you like doing; like with that creative talent of yours you've described (love to hear it!). You want to lean into those positive things that bring you true fulfillment. On my end, I used an exercise called "Discovering your Sobriety Worksheet" from the Internet and Technology Addicts Anonymous website to help me with finding what truly matters for me. It helps with identifying your bottom lines (most destructive and compulsive behaviors, abstain), middle lines (triggers, where you can go with caution but should not prioritize), and top lines (what you lean on, that which brings you true fulfillment and what you aspire to be). You can find the link to the worksheet in my profile, on the "About Me" section. What I personally discovered is that the "state" of moderating games isn't really a goal; the goal instead is maintaining sobriety, by working on self-improvement and focusing on what matters most. From there, it becomes a lot more clear to see if there really are any behaviors with technology that are positive and in-line with my state of sobriety. But that said, this is a personal document; it's going to be different for everyone what we each discover in our lines. So I really recommend doing it yourself, as your answers will be different from mine. As long as you are honest with your answers and with yourself, the sobriety worksheet is a really powerful document you can keep with you for life to help guide you.
  21. Wed 11.06 No mobile games - 197 days No compulsive social media use: 35 days No compulsive research: 35 days No passive screentime before bed, first thing in the mornings, or during work: 38 days Recently, I've had cravings resurface about going back to Reddit, Discord and Twitter. These were the worst time wasters for me, and probably still are (I'm not going to go back to test that just to find out). I journal about these cravings because it is so far the best way I have found to redirect my desire to write (that is the root). Just write it out, like I am doing now. The craving eventually does its thing, but I don't engage with it; I feel it out, and let it pass. Then, after writing about the craving, I meditate to think about why I'm feeling a craving, and practice writing to myself. Then I detail about the answers I think of to those questions I asked myself, my own conciense (or Higher Power). This is called 2-way prayer, which is the thing I do at the meetings I attend on Tuesday mornings. If it's alright, I'll take a moment to detail the 2-way prayer practice I did. Through meditation, I did start thinking; am I satisfying the craving with writing? Or am I supressing the craving? Is it a bit of both? Is journaling compulsively something I should be worried about? These are the questions I asked my higher power. And here is what I got back: There is improvement I can still make; but do not give up journaling. Better to spend 30min broken up through the day writing this entry out, than it is to waste an entire 8h workday browsing endless topics on non-essential forums. But keep working on my sense of self, my compass in life, and in managing my time; as long as I keep a balance with the other important areas of my life, journaling can be an effective tool to let me refocus and then return to work. Keep doing that with a Pomodoro timer when cravings arise, then practice 2-way prayer. Finally, I ask myself, if this is really my conscience, or if this answer is justification and rationalization. Important to make sure that these are honest thoughts and not coming from an alternative center, rather that these thoughts are based from how I understand correct principles. And I think this is a good and honest answer I got back. It even touches upon the 7 Habits there, in regards to the principles and paradigms content that the book starts with (the sense of self, compass in life and time management part). Yeah, this can be an overwhelming process indeed... but I am satisfied with the answer I got back. It gives me direction, even if it lets me know that striving for quality is a life's worth of work. It will take practice and consistency understanding correct principles and reframing my values and mission statement to align with them. It's not going to get done in a day, but that's ok. ----- Things I will do to stay healthy Sleep around 8h - I went to bed at 10pm, but then woke up at 11pm because the baby awoke. After he was asleep, that is also when I realized I didn't submit my part 2 yesterday, so I did that and then went back to bed by 11:35pm. My wife took most of the night shifts with the baby, and I got up at 4:30am to do one, which he then fell asleep by 5am and until 6:30am thankfully. All in all... about 7h of sleep total. I'm feeling a bit tired, but not as much as I felt it on Monday. Stretch - upon waking up, also before and after my "workout" today (will explain shortly...) Go for walks / Exercise - My wife had an appointment this morning, so I did some exercises while waiting for her in the parking lot; my middle kid and the baby both in the car, the middle kid was there because daycare closed due to not enough educators. For working out, I did dips, using an open door in our car to support myself, and I did inclined push-ups the same way. 4 sets each. That's all I did with the environment I had; I do wish I could've done weights, but it's fine! I feel like I made an effort. I did get quick looks from passerby's, but I paid them no more attention than they did with brief glances. Meditate + Deep Breaths - I meditated in the car while waiting for my wife. And then again later in the day. See the intro to this post. Drink Water - in the car I also brought my water bottle with me. Good reminder again for me to keep it full. Shower + wash face - oh yeah, I should have a rinse actually. I'll do that after posting, we got back late from the appointment. Nutrition Breakfast: yogurt with nuts. Lunch: leftover chicken that my in-laws gave us. Dinner: air-fried burgers with salad on the side after work. Talk to my partner - throughout the car ride. We talked about how my oldest is struggling a bit with sounding out some words; my wife got a message from his teacher about things we can do right now to help practice at home. His teacher is optimistic about improvement though, and she's understanding that being born late in the year contributes for why he's not as far ahead as other kids his age. So we'll work on it, we got resources from the teacher. Talk to my kids + play with them - I was with both the baby and middle kid so my wife could focus on the exercises with my oldest, per above. Also read a book to all 3 of them Read a book - I will be reading more of the 7 Habits workbook and see how far I get tonight. Practice French - I practiced French lessons while waiting in the car. I forgot to do the French story though, so this time I'm making it a commitment; I'll do it tomorrow with and go through those steps indie_rok gave me. Journal - Here is my entry for the day, and I'm grateful to keep journaling. I feel like I have boundless energy to keep doing this every day of my life! ------ 7 habits - proactivity test - day 19 Commitments yesterday: * Keep writing my journals on paper first Okay so I wrote my mission statement exercises on paper. Not so much the entire entry though. I will be honest about that. I did stick to writing on the computer Notepad though, and I have found it to be more effective; because it does keep the actual personal stuff separate from the work stuff that I do in Notepad++. So I'm getting good results there. What I got out of this was; workbook exercises on paper, and personal journal (the template part) on computer are both okay to do. Then combine after. * Continue with Mission Statement exercises The ones I did on paper first were these ones. What stood out to me was the way these questions were written in steps: 1. Brainstorm Ideas: spend about three minutes on each question. Identify an influential person Define who you want to become - Imagine it's twenty yers in the future; what is your list of accomplishments? What do you want to do, have and be? Determine what is important to you today 2. Take a breather. 3. Gather your thoughts; review what you've written and circle key ideas, words, and phrases that you would like to include in your Mission Statement. 4. Write a rough draft; during the week, carry your rough draft with you and make notes, additions, and deletions s needed each day. The things I circled in step 3, which became the basis for step 4: * live life, maintain work-life balance * be a role model with good morals and values * be a patient, honest and loving partner and father * positive impact; promote and drive positive experiences, and make a difference at my job and my home life * stay healthy and fit * explore and commit to fulfilling activities, like my creative writing pursuits For the rough draft, I suppose it's something that I did a while back. So I am going to review my summary here: I will be an honest, kind, supportive and loving husband, coworker, volunteer and friend. That is what I said, but now I'm going to tweak it; I will strive to live a balanced life in my creative pursuits, my job, my family life, and my spiritual life; being honest, patient, loving and driving a positive impact based on my values with everything I do. Few more steps after that, which I will be doing throughout this week: 5. Complete Your Mission Statement - at the end of the week, write a final copy of your mission statement and find a permanent place for it where you can easily access it. I plan on keeping it in my whiteboard, and also on my profile's "About me" section of this forum. 6. Periodically Review and Evaluate - Every month or so, ask yourself the following questions: * Does this mission statement represent the best within me? * Do I feel direction, purpose, challenge, and motivation when I review my mission statement? * AM I living my life according to the ideals and values that are incorporated in my mission statement? So that is something I'll be working on throughout this week. Commitments for tonight/tomorrow: * French practice with story and younger kids; see if I post about it this time * Read more 7 Habits workbook and get through more exercises
  22. SLEEP 5 hours sleep yesterday, went to bed at 2:00 a.m. because I just couldn't fall asleep. No cell phone close by. No digital entertainment one hour before bed. Drank 1/2 glass of warm milk with 2x Omega 3 fish oil and 2x Vitamin D Woke up at 7:00 a.m., did not feel fatigued, wide awake. EXERCISE Went speed walking at local track outside. Walked for 45 minutes on the outside perimeter of the track. Fresh air and Vitamin D benefits. Beautiful Fall day outside. SOCIAL No socializing today. I joined a walking club. First meet-up will be in a few days. Small group. 4 km walk in a local park. I'm looking forward to this. CRAFTS/ART Took a break from crafting today because I worked on it yesterday. No rush to complete, but I do not want to slack off too long either. Next week, I'm planning on taking my clay pots to get fired in a kiln. Intermittent fasting going well. I have kept to a 12-16 hour fasting schedule which begins from last night's supper (6:-7:00 pm) until 12:00 noon the next day. I am eating more fish for healthy fats. I had baked cod for lunch with cucumber salad and rice cauliflower. This was a large lunch because I was quite hungry. Replenished with water and a large cup of Hibiscus tea. For dinner, I ate 1/2 an apple, drank glass of milk, cauliflower soup with five large slices of bacon, Carbonaut bread x 1 slice buttered with melted cheddar cheese on top. Finished remaining cucumber salad with vinaigrette dressing. This was my supper at 6:45 pm. I snuck in two Hershey kisses. Oh no.....it's the sugar cravings. READING Today I am going to continue reading The Te of Piglet, starting at 8:00 pm until I fall asleep. I may be able to get through half of the book tonight, but we'll see. SPIRITUALITY My church friend contacted me via email this week to update me on some social gatherings offered by her church throughout the week. There is a Life Group this Thursday evening (tomorrow). I will be attending it, as well as the upcoming Sunday morning service. My friend will wait for me at the door on Sunday so that I do not feel entirely alone. Thank goodness! Prayer schedule is every night before I sleep. I am keeping a list of people to pray for. A gamer friend of mine also asked me to pray for somebody he knew who was ill. I will follow up with him about his friend's condition this week.
  23. Thank you @D_Cozy ! This was so nice to read, because you relate to what I am going through, as I'm sure many Gamer Quitter members also experience. It's nice to have somebody validate it. I highlighted various points you made in reference to 'being part of a community, losing a sense of identity, and the grind of it all'. The weird feeling is still there. It's restlessness. Maybe because I have all this time to spare. I'm so accustomed to doing-doing-doing and not enjoying the process. So my hobbies become noticeably slow-mode. I'm adjusting to the switch in pace. The thing is, before I was a gamer, the slow-mode was natural to me. I didn't view it as slow at all, but knew that some projects will not be completed in one day. And I shouldn't be breaking a sweat or losing sleep to complete it! That's the strange thing about returning to a life without video games. Enjoying the journey is what I am re-learning. I think my dopamine receptors are going to take a long break from hereon, and need a reset. The weird feeling is also tied to the loss of an online community and self-identity. I can only imagine what it was like for you to give up that leadership identity that you developed in the games! I was nowhere near that level of skill or capacity. But yes, I do feel a sense of identity-crisis? I feel like I let the team down, and that I am no longer 'useful'. It is a strange feeling. I am a giver, naturally. I was accustomed to helping out members of my guild, whether it was crafting items, completing deeds, or helping out with dungeons here and there. I gave so much of my time doing that in online gaming. There is a void. I'm not sure how to replace it, but I'm considering using my crafting talent to make items for the homeless. For example, hand-knitted scarves or hats. I'm a fairly good knitter and like to experiment with patterns. Plus I have so much leftover yarn. I think this might help fill that void. I'm using my creative talent, and donating my product/artwork to somebody who could benefit from it. So many thoughts going through my head. I can't process them all right now. I think I'm in a state of flux, but that's okay. As you mentioned, it will pass and I think it is a normal feeling after not participating in digital entertainment for a week now. I admire your ability to moderate the gaming and for wisely eliminating the games which do not work for you. One day, after this 30 Day detox is done, I'd like to reintroduce only one game into my life. It would be a multiplayer cozy game, not a true MMORPG. And I would play this with my gamer friend on a casual basis. We'll see how this goes. I still have a little more than four weeks left before my thirty day detox is complete. I will continue to write in my journal on a daily basis.
  24. Entry 6.11 Day 768: No Useless Videos Day 765: Sticking to Food schedule Day 368: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00) Day 71: Being in bed before 23:15 3 Things I did well no matter how small -16 pomodoros -Morning workout -staying in sun for 20 minutes 1 thing I could do better -Avoid expecting the card will arrive at my home address, expectations are problematic.
  25. Welcome @NewHope ! You've found a great community here. I recommend reading some journals. You'll find people with similar struggles and read about various ways they cope with video game addiction. I've learned a lot from the people on Game Quitters. Hope to hear more about your new journey in real life! Torch
  26. Hey Torch, if you still feel this way, it's a feeling that will pass. I can't speak to quitting all games myself - I cut out the most problematic ones only, and that is what is working for me - but I know the feeling from having played a lot of Empires & Puzzles and quitting that game. This is a mobile game with alliances, a daily set of quests to do, players work together to take down a daily big boss, get and share loot, there's private guild chats and public global ones, and there's alliance wars too, etcetera... All of these social elements were very addictive to me; it felt like I was part of a big mission, it enticed me to grind and "keep up" so I could contribute to my alliance. I even became a senior member of my alliance, helping out players with game things and resolving conflicts when they arose; and eventually, the games company asked me to become a moderator for their online forum (which I was quite active at too). So I really get this feeling. In particular, I understand how you feel in regards of expectations. I was quite well known in the games community. I had quite the reputation for putting together a big data spreadsheet and condensing it into a quick reference for all players. And ofc I was a moderator for the community so that gave me a bit of a spotlight. We may not be able to hold or touch things like fame and reputation, but they are very much still possessions; intangible possessions are just as temporary, and just as easily lost, as physical possessions. I say this because this feeling you have right now, it's also partly coming from you, your own sense and attachment to your game identity. You are severing that from yourself now, and yeah it's gonna feel weird for sure. It's almost like an identity crisis of sorts, almost like saying goodbye to a job you had for years. This weird feeling will pass though. I went through it with E&P, and now I'm going through it again, a similar "identity" loss from quitting social media and compulsively researching (fandom/wiki editing, in particular). But being able to be aware of this is helpful, because it then lets me figure out how to redirect that energy towards other more fulfilling tasks. For me, what has worked best is to focus on self-improvement and rediscovering my identity. I've been reading the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, as well as engaging in my daily journaling. Cheers!
  27. My apologies @Amphibian220. I gave you the wrong advice. I should've inquired about the context of your statement. It sounds like you know what to do, practicing assertiveness with coworkers. You will get better at this over time. Perhaps write down a few scripts that you might say to the coworker? Your coworkers will respect you for standing your ground, and you will feel proud if yourself. Let us know how it goes!!
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