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  2. Peregrinator

    Brad's Journal

    😁😁 Nothing wrong with Norfolk, Its gods's own county 😁
  3. Peregrinator

    KMD's Journal

    Of course I read it 😊, I am finding your journal really interesting. It sounds like you want to look at sustainability and Environment Management probably in a consultancy? I have worked in Environment Management so that is interesting for me to see how you progress I would wait and see, I think it is really good and really important to have a social fitness/sport activity as it can help you build relationships.
  4. Peregrinator

    My journey

    So I haven’t had a chance to respond over the past few days , but this is because I have been really busy and not because I've relapsed. Day 18 So I was up at 05:30 to go catch a train for another two hour commute (I think I travel more for work than I realise) , walked to the train station which was really nice, and then got on the train and again listened to audiobooks. I have noticed that I am sleeping a lot better since stopping gaming and therefore it is getting easier for me to get up in the mornings. It used to take me two hours to fall asleep when I was on the games. I met up with the rest of my team in Birmingham (They are all based remotely from me) and we had a really good meeting , unfortunately there was far too many sweet treats and nice cakes put on so I ended up stuffing my face slightly. Afterwards we went for a meal and a couple of drinks, we went to a Turkish restaurant and this was the first time I had tried Turkish food, needless to say it was a lovely meal. We then went back to the hotel (it was an overnight stay) Day 19 Up and out of the hotel early to meet everyone and go for another team meeting for 08:30, We all got the train together and I got to chatting with one of our more recent team members and we discussed fitness and going to the gym which helped to pass the time. Again, it was a really good meeting, we talked a lot about some really interesting topics and it’s good to see that I am on the same page as the rest of the team. Discovered One note which has absolutely blown my mind and will make note taking a lot easier for me. I got back to where I live for 18:00 but had to go for football at 18:30 so rushed around a bit trying to get my kit ready and then rushed out, I felt tired from the journey but my fitness has improved massively so I felt a lot better, We won 5-3 but my weight had gone up slightly(not good). I finally got in at 21:00 with a slight twinge in my leg muscle. Day 20 Today has been a lot slower than the past two days which is great, as I have felt shattered from all the travel and activity. I finished work early and went to see my counsellor, after that I went to the gym for a short workout and then came home.
  5. Today
  6. Peregrinator

    My journey

    Your absolutely right there @JustTom but I also have to deal with the core issue as to why I got so hooked on gaming in the first place. I think gaming is like any other drug it provides an escpae from reality but it really is just an unhealthy coping mechanism. But I appriciate your shout out as it being an excuse for me to relapse later I think I have to be very concious about that, at this stage I am just prefeing the clarity of thought and purpose that being off the games is giving me.
  7. Brad_Hurst

    Brad's Journal

    Haha yeah it is bro. I always resort to posting on the forum when I need to vent - Except I don't delete my posts because one day when I look back, I can see all the struggles I went through to get to where I am on that day. I just hope this forum stays online forever so I can look back at it when i'm older! 😄
  8. KMD

    KMD's Journal

    Hey 🙂 It’s been.. 5 days.. WOW. I will even open my handwritten diary to keep up with how much new learning and info i received the last couple of days: Day 11 was productive yet felt the sense of direction slipping a bit away, I wasn’t feeling how I am feeling now that success is not a direct result. I kept up with all my activities: Volleyball, Piano, Study, Podcast, Drawing, out with friends and relaxed AND did the routine of eating sleeping properly. Day 12 I started reading the book The Slight Edge from the 30 day challenges presented and purchasable from the main website of gamequitters and it felt like a door was opening to me, towards success and happiness, really. I also did my activities and went to a friends home to relax and we went out to a club and karaoke night. Day 13 was an inspiring day. I found out I am the one motivating myself and knew i could apply my knowledge that i’ve always learnt in an effective, positive and natural way. Very spiritual day I must say looking back haha 🙂 I also decided to continue meeting a friend in a foreign country next month because basically ‘ yolo ‘ . Also did my routine day of activities. Day 14 was a weird day. It started good but went weird when I stepped in the wrong job agency where they only allowed people to work for them if they were low educated which I was not but it opened opportunities as they directed me to a different agency. I found out about a friend I met online that she wasnt using her real name all along just to hide her identity online which I felt weird about but I understand it because the online world is not really that safe if you are too open about and she opened up to me so thats a good thing in the end. Also my volleyball coach asked soo many questions after the match so I was a bit frustrated and felt pressed on so all in all it was a bit of a weird day, it seemed so. It was actually quite normal if i look back. Day 15 was very productive. I started to do more sports, a gym. I am going to pick up a schedule on working my body to become stronger, healthier and better looking than I am now. I am going to eat a bit more which I need to work on a bit because when I have the feeling that I am not hungry I wont eat enough apparently, so another thing learnt about myself as well. I am considering dropping out of Volleyball if it seems that it interveins with my Gym because I really want to get into that more as I train more muscles more efficiently, I will however miss the teamplay so it’s something to consider in the next few weeks. I will ask many questions to people how they feel it can be fit accordingly, we’ll see. Maybe I can work in gym the muscles I need for volleyball, but the volleyball team is not so active as me so i dont know if its really worth it. It all depends on how I will feel and think next few weeks. Need some time to sink in. OH YES, I FAILED SO HARD THAT DAY TOO. It was Thursday (yesterday), day 15 that I was doing one challenge to go to a local cafe, order a coffee and ask for 10% off before paying. So I was soooooooo nervous before, completely psyched. I went up to the girl and she looked so hopeful and happy and willing to help. And there I was, trying to ask 10% off discount for their well earned money, so I couldn’t, I chickened out. I froze for 3 seconds and then asked for paying the bill. I felt miserable, failed, done, completely done and it ruined my mood so bad that I took the decision to go again the next day which is today and I will tell you how that was in a bit. Day 16 is on going (it’s today, friday). So, I went to the same cafe, because it had to be that one because thats where i failed. I ordered coffee and water and did some studying on my tablet which I by the way finished for this week (another achievement, im happy, yay) and then I realized after being sunk into my work that Oh God moment, I have to pay and ask for discount again... Moment of stressful situation started. I went to pack my bag and went to the restroom and just looked in the mirror and said what i had to say to the waitress in 1 minute. I was stressed as if my life was dependent on this situation, it was make it or break it for me. It was now or never, it was courage and success or fail. I went out of the restroom straight to the bar and ask to pay. Fortunately there werent too many people around so I felt somewhat 1% more at ease. I asked to pay for the bill she said it was X amount ( i dont even remember the amount because of nervousity) and I asked: Could I get 10% off the coffe that I orderded. THIS MOMENT I PANICED INSIDE. She said: WHAT?? With a frowned face looking surprised and confused. So I responded as CALM as I POSSIBLY could: Ohh I was just wondering if I could get 10% off that’s all. She smiled and said oh i thought there was something wrong with the coffee. (Everything was fine, no angry people, nobody was going to throw me out, i had all these thoughts) And i just paid and wished her a nice day. I did tell her tho it was for an experiment somewhere near the end but it was after I paid. I felt relieved, succesful, confident and knew I had the courage for whatever had to be done next. I went out of the cafe with a big smile and went to the bus station to my way home to write this journal online that I’m writing now. Story isn’t over yet! While I was waiting at the bus stop, a girl came.. she looked me straight in the eyes and there was I confident as ever with a confident smile on my face (and my new haircut) staring back at her, she smiled. I smiled back. Then it happened, I froze again, I wanted to ask her age but I just couldnt, I failed again. So you know, today was courage and success and discourage and failure, still there was progress so next time I am going to take life head on and if I meet her again I will not hesitate, not anymore. Seems like I need 2 times in order to succeed, next time will be chance converted to action. Long story but thank you guys for reading and as always have a nice day! Share your story too in the comments I’d love to hear them and read them, good luck!
  9. KMD

    KMD's Journal

    Thank you very much for your comment it makes me really happy! I do like the broader concept of it in order to change it all in 1 for the whole world, thinking of partnering companies to improve growth. I mean if all companies would work together we would be 50 years ahead!! Thank you! Hope you have a nice day if you ever read this. Hey Max! 🙂 I am definetly into it. I will post another message on how ive been doing the last couple of days... so promising and the book The Slight Edge... amazing book. Take care and thanks for posting and reading and have a nice day if you read this as well!
  10. Today I will not play video games because I want to find more authentic ways to be creative!
  11. Philipp

    My Drawing Journal

    Started learning digital watercolor-painting just for fun - I fell in love with the vibrancy of some paintings on deviantArt - so I had to give it a shot 😄 I LOVE IT and it will probably help me with color-theory since watercolor isn't as much about precision but rather feeling and beeing loose ❤️ and about composition. Background's nearly finished, foreground and the mushrooms will be next 😄 EDIT: realized the light on the mushroom was comic from the wrong direction….. and I wasn't happy about the mushrooms, so I redid the composition of the foreground and changed the main subject to something more emotional. Now, I'll have to drag myself to university for gamedesign-presentation and finish some homework. In the evening I'll get learning and in the breaks I'll be working on that painting.
  12. JustTom

    Pete's Journey

    Okay, well, if you haven't done that yet, get into a good state - get out of bed, jump up and down, maybe do some pushups, or do some power-poses , or do weird shit with your face, whatever you need to do to change your physiology and therefore change your state. Once you are in a better, more conscious state, try to think what you actually want to do. What do you want your life to look like? Think about it and visualize it - imagine 1 year, then 5 years and then 15 years in the future, and then imagine tomorrow, next week and next month. Write down what you need to do and what your obstacles are. Write down what prevented you from succeeding before and how you plan to remedy that. The process of actually writing it down is important. At this point, you should feel a lot of motivation, so make a commitment and an immediate action - just start right away. That's what I would do 😁
  13. karabas

    Karabas's Journal: Part 2

    Day 1/120 |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Pomodorro Lvl 2 (58/100) Sleep before midnight x1 (longest streak: 4) Spiritual Routine: 0/7 Sleep: 11:00pm - 7:15am Relapsed again the day before, but yesterday went by well. I've been aiming my workload every day to add up to 40 work hours per week over 6 days (that's 6:40/day). I successfully did that Mon-Wed, adding up to 20 hours. I relapsed Wed night and stayed up super late, woke up late on Thursday and was very groggy. Didn't get a lot of work done and wife wanted to hang out, so I decided to make it my day off, forget work, and head to bed early. So I slept at 11! For the first time in ever, I got 8 hours of (nearly) straight sleep. I say nearly because I woke up randomly at around 3am, got up for a few minutes, and then went back to sleep. But either way, I woke up feeling refreshed and for the first time not having to fight myself about staying up. I'll still nap during the day, but I think I'll make it a 15-20 minute nap. And I'm going to try to be asleep by 11 again. Overall this should save me sleep time as I'll be totalling around 8.5 hours instead of the 9-10 I was doing by sleeping at 12. Sleeping at 11 should also make it possible for me to occasionally get up before dawn so that I could fast & pray some night prayers. Dawn is late nowadays, around 6am, so if I'm up at 5 (still 6 hours of sleep), I'll have time to make a meal, eat, and do some prayers. Not bad!
  14. karabas

    JustTom's Journal 2: Summer Edition

    Yeah man, I really feel like this sleep thing is the key to it all. Most of my relapsing happens when I'm sleepy & tired, and even if I don't relapse, the few hours saved on not sleeping usually get made up by lack of productivity due to being tired. Good luck with the assignments. You got this.
  15. karabas

    Journey to my white coat

    Nice! Do you have some time off after midterms? If so, what are your plans?
  16. JustTom

    Brad's Journal

    Well there you go 😁 This is a good place to vent. I vent here all the time, I even deleted 2 posts the next day. But you know, as master Obi-Wan says, patience, padawan.
  17. Brad_Hurst

    Brad's Journal

    I feel better this morning. Amazing what sleep can do 🙂 Yeah I know it is... Haha. Yeah well once I'm finished working with my Dad in a month or so, i'm going to join either/or a track cycling club and a triathlon club. Whilst I wait for that period I'm just training by myself. Apparently they do park runs on Saturday mornings so I will attend those too, although I'm going to be working this Saturday 😞 I can visit my Sister and my Girlfriend at their Universities and make friends with their flatmates. I can start working in Co-Working spaces or coffee shops and be around similar people. I should probably try and find an entrepreneur meetup thing aswell. And i'm sure attending a seminar or something like that i'd meet likeminded people. Ultimately I definitely think a backpacking trip, staying in hostels and stuff would be a great way for me to live a bit of that 'party lifestyle'. There are definitely ways out there... Last night I was just tired from work and the gym, with writing deadlines looming. And I guess it triggered jealousy when I spoke to my girlfriend and she was talking about how her and her flatmates have just ordered Chinese, and how she had an awesome nightout the night previous. I try my best to stay cool and happy for her, but I know secretly inside I'm wishing I was experiencing that shit too! Anyways, this morning I feel better. I lost me head last night.
  18. Absurd Fish

    Nick's Journal

    1 week clean of video games! lesson learned: I am highly prone to relapse if I don't plan my days off ahead of time. Will fill my days with activities 😛
  19. PFMA

    Pete's Journey

    I'm not too sure, I was getting a good rhythm in and able to be productive with my time, and one day I started visualizing playing this one game I used to play, like a strong craving and I finally caved.
  20. Cam Adair

    Thank you!

    It was great to meet you brother, wishing you the best on your journey.
  21. Cam Adair

    Hi, new to the forums

    Welcome
  22. Rualani

    Rualani's Journal

    Detox(17) Omega 3, Sleep, Sun, Exercise, Social, Engagement Nofap, Meditation, NoJunk, guitar, drawing Hourstack: 4:19 My own voice is getting stronger. It's still buried deep. 6 Trackables anti-depressive strategy 5 Trackables personal improvement and desire --Documented Stability...Solid...Food...In threat...Shopping trip required... Wait, what? I think I might be selling my Ipad, I may have jumped the gun on that purchase a little... too fast. I need to call the store and see if I can return the apple pen too. I'd much rather have a mac for development than an ipad. Plus, I actually already have digital drawing tools but... I think I'm just going to get a sketchbook and go from there. It's always important to remember. Digital is always but an approximation of reality. Of the layers of graphite atoms on the paper. I mean, people always argue that an approximation is indiscernible to reality. I mean, every time they improve the fps on a monitor, SUDDENLY, the human eye is only 'capable' of discerning that amount. It's amusing really. Like we even have the ability to truly test that hypothesis. Or maybe I'll use my wacom intuos to draw on Photoshop. Either way, the guitar training is solid. At least I have that going for me. Maybe I should write short stories too or something. My problem is that I've only mixed other people's worlds. I'm too afraid to make my own worlds cause... Wouldn't it suck to have a really good unique premise and spoil it with a terrible execution. I hate it when I find a great premise and watch it be spoiled by poor planning. It's the worse thing to experience. It's a double edged sword though. Such perfectionism could lead to a paralysis which would devour everything new around it. Then again, there's lots of worlds that get revisioned all the time... Like the Marvel Movies. Like, I don't care about much of the worlds, but a well executed movie makes me completely happy with that little slice of it. Maybe.
  23. JustTom

    JustTom's Journal 2: Summer Edition

    Day 7/90 | Gaming Media Detox 5/90 | Overslept: Yes | Pomodoros: 13 Whew, hard day. I won't even babble about the morning anxiety, but I got out of bed at ~17 and then got to the uni at around 18, where I stayed until 5am to catch-up on all the work I had to do. But...those were the most unproductive 13 pomodoros of my life. I couldn't focus at all, partially because of a nice headache until midnight. Massive procrastination on top of that and I also ate way too much. Only thanks to my strong commitment did I not start watching gaming vids. Days like this can easily lead to a relapse - I have to be careful and mindful every time these moods come up. Very dangerous. I will not give up again. I am committed to never watch a gaming video, never check a gaming subreddit and never play a game ever again. This shit is worse than poison and will destroy my life if I so much as dare to open a gaming youtube channel. I have such a beautiful life ahead of me. The few minutes of relief are NOT WORTH the loss of immense potential I have. This happened because I was pushing a bit too hard. During the last 6 days, I was very productive, but I shouldn't have tried to minimize sleep. I wanted to get some more work done yesterday before I left, and so I planned for only 6 hours of sleep. This made me groggy in the morning and with the way my morning system is set-up, it went very badly. I made revisions to it today though and I will stick to 7-8 hours of sleep every day unless it's absolutely necessary to meet a deadline or something. Which brings me to tomorrow... Good news is that the assignment is submitted, 1 day before the deadline. The bad news is that tomorrow will be hard-mode, with only 3 hours of sleep I have to revise our presentation, then survive a 1- or 2-hour long poster session, then do a lot of work on the business course project and then start studying for the exam as well. Essentially, it's going to have to be a 30-pomodoro day while being sleep deprived. Will be fun.
  24. Deku

    Journey to my white coat

    Days until SF Biofreeze: 283 Finished the Biotech Industry presentation today (professor said we did a good job, that's always nice), so midterms are thankfully almost over. The moment I sat down after the presentation this massive wave of weariness washed over me and I literally almost am too tired to move right now, so I think I'm going to use tonight as an opportunity to hit the reset button before my two big do-ins next week.
  25. Yesterday
  26. JustTom

    Brad's Journal

    Going to uni just for social is DEFINITELY a bad idea. Can you think of other ways to add some social life?
  27. Brad_Hurst

    Brad's Journal

    I feel so damn lonely right now. I actually can't deal with it... I'm struggling with jealousy too, I know it's bad for me but I just can't seem to stop jealousy from occurring... I'm jealous of my girlfriend actually. She's making all these new friends at University and hanging out with them, going out partying with them and doing stupid shit with them. It seems like she's always doing something and is so busy she rarely has time to message me or call me anymore. Meanwhile i'm stuck over 100 miles away at my Dad's, working all bloody day, getting home and hitting the gym, then trying to do writing work, but suffering because I feel so fucking isolated and lonely and then sleep and repeat. And I'm going to be working with him for the next month or so... I really don't know if I can cope. I can't go to any of my classes, unless I join something in Norfolk but it seems pointless since i'll only be here for a month. I'm bloody isolated in the countryside, I get sick of talking to my Dad as I work with him all day, and I don't really enjoy talking to his girlfriend and her kids. Arghh it really does feel like bloody torture. I wish I could spend more time with my girlfriend, but whilst I'm working with my Dad that's not possible, and I don't even know if when I go back home i'll be able to see her much since she's at University now. I've got to get through this period, I need to finish this writing work off and I've got to get to the end. Once i'm back home i'll be able to join a Triathlon club, I should HOPEFULLY be able to see my girlfriend more and i'll have far more time to work on my web design business. The same fucking thoughts go through my head though, "Should I go to university?". But I know i'll only be going for the social life... And I know logically I shouldn't do it. But because I feel so god damn lonely at this moment, it feels like the only option to get a decent social life. I'm HOPING, that joining a sports club will help that... But I want to live with people my age... That's the thing... I want to be AROUND people my age. I want to be independant, and I want to be around people my age, but like-minded too... I look on meetup.com and it seems like everyone is middle-aged... I remember when I went to that improv class, they were all old as fuck. Urghhhh, why do I have to be so lonely and friendless.... I know for certain, that if I had a good close group of friends who I could hang out with - I don't think the whole university thing would phase me, but it's the fact that I don't that I crave that experience so much... But I know getting into debt and suffering 3 years of study for something that I will not use, it's pointless. BUT THEN IS IT BECAUSE IT MIGHT JUST SOLVE MY SOCIAL LIFE??!? That's ultimately depressing the fuck outta me. Maybe this is the sole reason why I wanted to travel so badly? Would I get a similar experience? I don't bloody know, part of me thinks travelling solo will be a lonely experience too.... I'll be honest, I think I need to sleep. I'm tired and frustrated. I just need to get through this next month, and stop getting so god damn jealous of my girlfriend... urgh fuck sake how do I make it stop...
  28. JustTom

    Hi, new to the forums

    Definitely true. But even if you have other hobbies, that doesn't mean you will just do them instead. How many of us had great hobbies and activities, but we instead chose to game? This is because gaming gave more instant gratification and didn't require any effort at all. The same thing with binge watching. It is an instant, gratifying escape from reality and that can be more appealing than any other activity that would actually provide you long-term satisfaction or happiness. So the point is to be very intentional about how you spend your time. Always keeping in mind why you want to quit(games and binge-watching) and always pushing yourself to chose your other activities over escapism, even when you have a bad day or just don't feel good. If things are handy dandy, it's easy, no problem. When things are not going as expected, that is when your COMMITMENT has to come in.
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