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Bird By Bird

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  1. I have a hard time believing its possible that you've never hated anyone before starting your job but if that is the case then I'd say its a major improvement because you're working through and acknowledging hate as a human emotion instead of repressing it. Those new age hippies naively think they can repress all the 'bad' emotions and live in manic land all the time but they always get gipped in the end. Human nature. Its just too bad those self-help gurus ruin so many peoples' lives, including yours and mine, before they learn how to truly love themselves, warts and all.
  2. I'm sorry for you that you had to suffer, and are suffering, such abusive behavior. It sounds like you need an intervention. Have you spoken to his parents? Can you count on them to help you? What about your parents or family members? Can you call them and ask them to go to you and have your back?From what I understand this is your house so you may need marriage therapy or a priest/minister if you belong to a religion or a lawyer. Kicking you out of the house to play games 24/7 is as bad if not worse than online gamling addiction or smoking weed every day. You need support.
  3. 3 important months on the path of recovery to a better life. I'm happy you're being honest about your feelings, rich, and that you've taken the first step to experimenting with life game-free. Of course if you do relapse, most of us have including me who relapsed a bunch a few years ago even before finding Game Quitters community, that is a learning experience that you can use for next time. Keeping a forum journal really helps with the cravings.
  4. The embarassment of NASA's Artemis Hot Fire failing proves we are still in 2020. A summary of things to come. I also had a failed "rocket launch" this week that put me into a funk MOOD. 2020 technically hasn't even ended yet because year of the rat lasts from Jan 25 2020 to Feb 11 2021. Hypothesis that I lacked energy because I did not have enough fun for the past 2 weeks. This week I scheduled dedicated fun time with legos and piano improv. We'll see if having more fun times improve my energy or not.
  5. That sounds like a fun and interesting experiment to try @Amphibian220. While more expensive than normal food - I think the additives they put in MREs to survive hostile conditions and keep soldiers in fighting shape may show improvement in your life. During your research, you might hear about stories like the Vomelet but don't be fooled because its actually super tasty and given an ironic name as a joke.
  6. Sounds harsh. Looks like returning to a weekly or daily journal here might be good for you because journaling is introspection work.
  7. Jan 8-12: Slept before putting away computer on some days. Sleep schedule shifted again to me waking up early anywhere from 12 am to 4 am and then going to sleep after 6 pm. Mom sometimes woke me up to eat dinner then I would sleep from 12 to 1. Sometimes she would cook dinner at 10 pm sometimes at 4 am in the morning. All productivity has taken a backseat to introspection of myself and issues and the 'why's of doing what I do.
  8. Looks like things are in flux for you. See you after your phone detox.
  9. I use substitute addictions. Healthy? No. Truthful? Yes. We all find ourselves acting like this sometimes on the path of recovery. Instead of playing games, I would binge internet browsing: reading articles, webcomics and memes. When I limit my computer time, I default to addiction #3: compulsive masturbating. When I get tired of that I go to sleep. Freedom from games gives me about 40 hours of free time every week. Gives me enough time to exercise with my folks in the morning - way better than when we just lived in the same house and did nothing together as a family. I also
  10. This is why I instapot pressure cook boil all my veggies and barely cut them. Like rip out those lettuce leaves with your bare hands and snap those carrots in two. We spent a lot of time gaming in the past instead of living and boredom is one of the ways we pay for it. Now that games are gone its up to you to live with yourself or distract yourslef with something else.
  11. Experiment. You are a researcher after all and researchers do experiments. Stop gaming for 90 days (or 30 days or even just 1 week) then go back to gaming again and compare your productivity, health and general quality of life. Let us know the results either by daily forum journals or weekly reports or a post after your no game experiment is over.
  12. @WhoCaresIt's fine to take a break from quitting and relapse if you are feeling suicidal. Have you seen a doctor? You should see a doctor or psychiatrist because that therapist you saw told you to. At this point any general practitioner will be fine.
  13. Each person reacts differently to different things. Some types of games are less addictive to some people than to other people. If chess remains a small part of your life and is contained then it could be treated as an exception while you detox the rest of gaming but if you find yourself playing longer and longer hours of chess and neglecting your health then it becomes a problem like other games. Experiment and tell us the results. Personally, I don't see any value in chess as opposed to physical sports or exercise where you move around. Or as opposed to socializing at
  14. @BooksandTrees @royal panda That's the most likely reason. I explained to mom that dad was angry because grandpa fell and it took her a while to connect the dots. "Oh that's why he was doing that." Then, Dad came downstairs with a big smile and manic energy because he was so excited to shovel the snow?! Talk about mood swings. I should clarify that mom does do her part around the house, she just takes so long to do anything because PERFECTIONISM means veggies are chopped perfectly or every plate is hand washed five times before going in the dishwasher OCD type-shit.
  15. The card game thing is up to you whether or not to count it but it sounds like you already made up your mind. It depends whether that behavior leads into video games or timewasting in general. Well I used to be addicted to solitaire and freecel before I got a computer that could run better games and those were addictive so it really depends on your gut feeling about whether that demo card game counted or not.