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Bird By Bird

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  1. Ditto on the phone thing for me. I had to place it aaaaallllllll the way downstairs for my laziness vs temptation laziness side to win out and not phone in bed until 5 am. Support groups are super important in quarantine and in general. What groups have you considered?
  2. Dormant extraverted social side inside me awakened Thursday and I spent the past 3 days excel tabling the benefits of various meetup groups. I attended 2 improv group meetings and 1 meditation group and joined 5 D&D discords. I teased my old friends for liking D&D (and Discord) and now I'm into it - fucking quarantine am I right?! A side effect of this social-mania is my lack of writing productivity, private and personal journaling, and much less 'alone fun' that I enjoy (playing with Legos, photography). Alone fun is super important for creativity because this really good art boo
  3. @BooksandTreeswas not a literal rocket test but a figurative rocket-launch-into-independence but thanks for the sentiment. Speaking of Rockets. I have been thourougly unproductive yesterday caught up in Wall Street LOSING 2.3 BILLION+ to Reddit WallStreetBets. Unprecedented historical event that has never happened before. Uniting everyone against fatcat billionaire hedgefunds. That's the Age of Aquarius for you.
  4. I have a hard time believing its possible that you've never hated anyone before starting your job but if that is the case then I'd say its a major improvement because you're working through and acknowledging hate as a human emotion instead of repressing it. Those new age hippies naively think they can repress all the 'bad' emotions and live in manic land all the time but they always get gipped in the end. Human nature. Its just too bad those self-help gurus ruin so many peoples' lives, including yours and mine, before they learn how to truly love themselves, warts and all.
  5. I'm sorry for you that you had to suffer, and are suffering, such abusive behavior. It sounds like you need an intervention. Have you spoken to his parents? Can you count on them to help you? What about your parents or family members? Can you call them and ask them to go to you and have your back?From what I understand this is your house so you may need marriage therapy or a priest/minister if you belong to a religion or a lawyer. Kicking you out of the house to play games 24/7 is as bad if not worse than online gamling addiction or smoking weed every day. You need support.
  6. 3 important months on the path of recovery to a better life. I'm happy you're being honest about your feelings, rich, and that you've taken the first step to experimenting with life game-free. Of course if you do relapse, most of us have including me who relapsed a bunch a few years ago even before finding Game Quitters community, that is a learning experience that you can use for next time. Keeping a forum journal really helps with the cravings.
  7. The embarassment of NASA's Artemis Hot Fire failing proves we are still in 2020. A summary of things to come. I also had a failed "rocket launch" this week that put me into a funk MOOD. 2020 technically hasn't even ended yet because year of the rat lasts from Jan 25 2020 to Feb 11 2021. Hypothesis that I lacked energy because I did not have enough fun for the past 2 weeks. This week I scheduled dedicated fun time with legos and piano improv. We'll see if having more fun times improve my energy or not.
  8. That sounds like a fun and interesting experiment to try @Amphibian220. While more expensive than normal food - I think the additives they put in MREs to survive hostile conditions and keep soldiers in fighting shape may show improvement in your life. During your research, you might hear about stories like the Vomelet but don't be fooled because its actually super tasty and given an ironic name as a joke.
  9. Sounds harsh. Looks like returning to a weekly or daily journal here might be good for you because journaling is introspection work.
  10. Jan 8-12: Slept before putting away computer on some days. Sleep schedule shifted again to me waking up early anywhere from 12 am to 4 am and then going to sleep after 6 pm. Mom sometimes woke me up to eat dinner then I would sleep from 12 to 1. Sometimes she would cook dinner at 10 pm sometimes at 4 am in the morning. All productivity has taken a backseat to introspection of myself and issues and the 'why's of doing what I do.
  11. Looks like things are in flux for you. See you after your phone detox.
  12. I use substitute addictions. Healthy? No. Truthful? Yes. We all find ourselves acting like this sometimes on the path of recovery. Instead of playing games, I would binge internet browsing: reading articles, webcomics and memes. When I limit my computer time, I default to addiction #3: compulsive masturbating. When I get tired of that I go to sleep. Freedom from games gives me about 40 hours of free time every week. Gives me enough time to exercise with my folks in the morning - way better than when we just lived in the same house and did nothing together as a family. I also
  13. This is why I instapot pressure cook boil all my veggies and barely cut them. Like rip out those lettuce leaves with your bare hands and snap those carrots in two. We spent a lot of time gaming in the past instead of living and boredom is one of the ways we pay for it. Now that games are gone its up to you to live with yourself or distract yourslef with something else.
  14. Experiment. You are a researcher after all and researchers do experiments. Stop gaming for 90 days (or 30 days or even just 1 week) then go back to gaming again and compare your productivity, health and general quality of life. Let us know the results either by daily forum journals or weekly reports or a post after your no game experiment is over.
  15. @WhoCaresIt's fine to take a break from quitting and relapse if you are feeling suicidal. Have you seen a doctor? You should see a doctor or psychiatrist because that therapist you saw told you to. At this point any general practitioner will be fine.