Day 6!

[dirkj3]

Good morning 

I think it is time to prepare some more

Actually putting a plan up on what to do when I am bored or tired.

I have pushups for measurable growth

For a resting activity I have meditation  or walking  outside 

 

 

 

[dirkj3]

Hi binge 3 or 4 hours of yt today

I notice that I procrastinated obviously but the reason is the politics presentation that I'd the reason that hinders me to get to positive momentum .

I feel like it has to be done first and the other things come after it.

[dirkj3]

Hello 

I'm very tired this is my day 4 of nogames and I am stuck at home in my work

I have started 3 tasks and it doesn't fulfill me at all.

I used the pomodoro timer to prevent me from just spending all my time in one subject.

This ended up with me being  here burned out and tired.

I  got up at 9.30 am and I went to bed at 12 pm.

one presentation is on thursday and an exam on Wednesday.

I had cravings for looking up gaming news just to give me some purpose.

I don' know what to do with my time and I  can tell that I won't touch school stuff again 

[Regular Robert]

You know, every tiny step counts. Even if you only spend 10 horrible minutes on your task. Since you are on day 4, you are still getting used to your new schedule. Just take every step, no matter how tiny it might be. And never forget that there will be a new day and you will be able to try again. Trust me, there will come a time during the detox, where you almost feel like having wings, once you get used to your new "lifestyle".

[dirkj3]

Hello

@Regular Robert thank you for your comment and 

What do you mean having wings?

Do you mean that everything will go easier?

So I've watched a video about NoPmo that setting reminder when a week or months is up , is better than couting days

Is there a truth about that?

I still am working on to get my presentation done.

I didn't go outside yesterday and it really screwed me up.

today I did go outside to calm down.

U experience gaming nostalgia and  I am feeling no strive at all.

To be honest I am afraid of living my life to the fullest.

It seems like a intimidating  mountain and it sounds like when you quit you ll hop on that mountain with ease.

It is like you start gaming and you see a professional gamer on yt.

There are a lot of skills to be developed but now it feels like everything I  do now has no fulfillment.

I m feeling stuck in that void.

Gratitude

The small walk 

My bed

[Hitaru]

The best advice I can give you is to stay calm for a moment and focus. You seem overwhelmed by many emotions right now (which is completely normal on the other hand). Don't take it too harsh on yourself if you trip, but don't use that as an excuse to be complacent either. Simply don't obsess over "what should I be doing", you're discovering that right now. First observe, then theorise, then apply. These first days are just for you to see how are you feeling, when do you feel good and bad and why, and then plan over that self-knowledge. Makes sense?

[dirkj3]

@Hitaru thank you for this comment

What do you mean with theorise?

The self knowledge is critical I experienced  a decent strong urge right now and as I was prepping for the test on Wednesday

I said Oh well I have an urge right now I am not gonna give it the power

But later on I ignored that urge and yeah I was in my writing

 

Other than that I am feeling Okay

I have little interest in gaming but the flash backs of me gaming just a couple of days are still here and there.

Still the gaming news are always available even if  I don' have an account.

 

By the way I ordered the slight edge last Tuesday 

Gratitude 

Warm bed 

tired  got a big chunk of my presentation done.

What I ll do differently tomorrow 

Time management 

Meditation

Start workout or guitar 

 

[Hitaru]

I mean, one thing is to think "What should I do?" and other to observe how you behave in a "natural" way (without doing a conscious effort) and then think "Ok, my normal reaction to X is to do A (let's say play games/get depressed/procrastinate/PMO), what should I do if I want to do B (let's say doing something that is not doing all the mentioned stuff)?". First you see how you are, and then you think about what you should do to become who you want to be (but considering your starting point).

[dirkj3]

Hello

I m tired I dreamed that I have been gaming(the usual)

The unusual it was very real!!

And I unfortunately didn't do any of my favorite things yet.

I  notice that I almost do everything that has nothing to do with my self development

I haven't  put any time in it thinking I do that when I have time.

The moment wil not come 

I am still bleeding from my 2 weeks of gaming that I ll see in the one exam for tomorrow.

Self development is slacking I feel like I am very hard to myself

Do you have an advice hoe to transmute that self negativity?

I watched some videos about time management and all that. It helped me

But I need to have discipline and willpower I guess that those are developed by time.

Gratitude 

Warm bed

 What is going well

focus on the bigger thing like liking forward to breaks during a tough working period (that I face now).

 

 

[dirkj3]

Things to improve 

My health really 

My food it makes me tired.

Going outside even when it is tough.

Saying no to porn

phone downstairs(let to distraction and pmo

 

another aspect I like is setting reminder of nogames 

Passed one week today

reset counter of pmo but hey another week of learning 

[dirkj3]

Hello 

I m here again after some troublesome weeks of relapsing.

I feel like this is the best place to stay accountable for myself 

I got into laptop gaming a couple days ago and it screwed me up

I delete my save file and I was watching Cam's video 

There will  always be another game, which remembered me to move on from gaming even if the latest update of my favorite game comes out.

I don't wanna procrastinate on my decision to move on from  gaming 

Anyways today I got the slight edge after 2 weeks of waiting time !!!

I love this book It is motivating me a lot.

I am on my day 1

I feel no emotions at all 

Gratitude 

My brother 

My parents

What I can do better

No gaming news!!

 

[Mhyrion]

Welcome back!

[dirkj3]

 

Hello 

I have a little issue about gaming

I wanna quit gaming for good but there is an  game update coming out in a few days 

I fact the release date is one day before my birthday....

I don'tknow what to do.

 I love my birthday which means a lot but since gaming took over it seems like it a day like any other which screwed me up already.

TODAY I have reached my lowest point during my vocational college.I have just slept 3 hours and tomorrow there will be any exam. 

I don' wanna game anymore I watched Scrooge from Christmas Carol which describes how to rise from a rock bottom and it was awesome.

I realized that my ultimate bottom is being kicked outof school..

I have read the slight edge and got to the point about the Rollercoaster between failure and survive!

[dirkj3]

Hello

I have quit gaming because it is negativelyaffect my health.J gave back acne and my posture Sucks

I have very high blood sugar due to me neglecting my health.

I face Huge amounts of stress due to procrastination

I live at a higher risk of being obese

There is a higher risk getting a stress induced illness

Yesterday I was hitting the shower noticing that my stomach was hurting slightly due to me being forward for a long period of time.

That was the moment when it was time to really affecting myself 

I have quitted gaming 

 

Today on day 1 I  did some school and now I am extremely tired

I had a very tasty meal  before 

I am having gaming nostalgia for a little bit

it really seems to me that I have no motivation for school but for gaming thr motivation is always there.

so now I feel that there is too less motivation and too much time.

I feel nothing right know is that the point of living?

Feel like a zombie  I don' even know how to be happy without eating junk food and watching porn and binge gaming

Most of the time  I spend was in the virtual world.

How is it possible to feel good without arteficial short term rewards?

It is all so overwhelmng and watching self improvement videos won' do the trick 

I played clicker heroes for several weeks and that gave me the constant measurable growth but the need itself isn't there anymore since I quit yesterday 

I understand that gaming is the all in one activity but this information doesn' help me.

I know what to expect when I quit gaming but all the information are theories and All what I need is something practical that I csn actually apply.

 

[dirkj3]

Good morning 

Today I had a good night of sleep and as I woke up I wanted to game.

I got up and had a breakfast

Right know I am procrastinating to learn more about chemistry.

It is scary that I cannot be the unproductive guy anymore that there is the high expectation to live an epic life

I am scared to make changes like to manage time more productively.

It seems like I do productive things but they are not in my control like the work I am doing has no references o myself.

All in all I love to be comfortable no matter of its effects because the fear of changing is stronger than the negative effects of gaming

That is pretty weird.

I feel like the void I have now with no games needs to be filled up with negative self talk and all that other crap.

I don' t know how to fill that void. all things that made me happy temporarily  are gone  so I ate junk food like crap yesterday I watched Yt Videos..

Why do the changes need to be that big??

My goals are getting good grades 

joy in life 

 wing productive in the toughest situation all of the time

Low stress levels

Gratitude list

Warm bed

family

My decision to quit games

 

[dirkj3]

Hello

 Today I am feeling well 

I did some school work and a  to do list and for the first time I got everything done!

I feel more relaxed with people and I am more talkative.

As I got home I didn't feel the urge to check up my phone due to me having deleted my account.

My mindset is that I am in for a bigger treat as I continue my journey through the unknown.

For sure I still face gaming nostalgia especially in the current week after I decided to quit for good.

I am writing this post exactly at the same place where I was gaming one week before.

I suggest everyone to check out "The slight edge" 

It helped me to learn to leap from the right philosophy to the right actions.

 

Gratitude

 

1.  the awesome time at a cafe with my mum because I won her as one of my accountability partner.

2. having classes with the most important german teacher which has shown me that german is not about grading and pressure but about interesting history stories

3. The fact that I am having no changed regarding my eyes ( I had them checked today.)

To change

Eating less junk food

 

 

 

 

[dirkj3]

Hello 

I m feeling very miserable right now

It is.the first time that I didn't fix that misery by pmo or gaming.

I feel that there is a big stone in my throat and there is a lot of negative self talk here.

It all started with me wanting to learn and I went in my room to use my mums phone to time time for certain sessions one thing let to another and I was binge watching yt videos.I felt miserable a out that.

those carried over to several things in my things that I have done afterwards.

I ended up running away from learning for.the exam because I know that the exam won't be going great anyway.

I admit and wrote down that I have made a mistake and then I continued until 10pm.

Tomorrow I'll be having an exam as well as on thursday.

I ended up crying. For one that I haven't felt that miserable before  and for second that I getting my emotions.

Though I did well on the lab day I felt miserable and I don't know whether that's a thing that you get positive feedback but in the evening you feel like shit( sorry for that word)

 

[WorkInProgress]

On 12.12.2017 at 11:17 PM, dirkj3 said:

Hello 

I m feeling very miserable right now

It is.the first time that I didn't fix that misery by pmo or gaming.

I feel that there is a big stone in my throat and there is a lot of negative self talk here.

It all started with me wanting to learn and I went in my room to use my mums phone to time time for certain sessions one thing let to another and I was binge watching yt videos.I felt miserable a out that.

those carried over to several things in my things that I have done afterwards.

I ended up running away from learning for.the exam because I know that the exam won't be going great anyway.

I admit and wrote down that I have made a mistake and then I continued until 10pm.

Tomorrow I'll be having an exam as well as on thursday.

I ended up crying. For one that I haven't felt that miserable before  and for second that I getting my emotions.

Though I did well on the lab day I felt miserable and I don't know whether that's a thing that you get positive feedback but in the evening you feel like shit( sorry for that word)

 

That is exactly what I have done so many times. Escaping from stressful things and feeling shitty about it afterwards. It is hard to face the fact that yourself aren'T what you want to be. Not the one who is easily doing the things you want to do. It shouldn't be a surprise but somehow it feels bad everytime again and again.

The thing is that this fear of failing is a root cause of procrastination. Seems illogical but it is still true. You'll need to look at these exams and challenges as a way to test your knowledge and to motivate you and not as a exam which evalulates your. It truly doesn't. It just evalulates your knowledge in a distinct topic. That has nothing to do with you beeing awesome or shitty. It is a chance to see where your knowledge needs to be improved and give you the chance to improve it. And be it only your studying habits. See the benefit in the challenge and don't be afraid. There is so much to gain and in reality very little to loose.

 

[dirkj3]

9 hours ago, WorkInProgress said:

That is exactly what I have done so many times. Escaping from stressful things and feeling shitty about it afterwards. It is hard to face the fact that yourself aren'T what you want to be. Not the one who is easily doing the things you want to do. It shouldn't be a surprise but somehow it feels bad everytime again and again.

The thing is that this fear of failing is a root cause of procrastination. Seems illogical but it is still true. You'll need to look at these exams and challenges as a way to test your knowledge and to motivate you and not as a exam which evalulates your. It truly doesn't. It just evalulates your knowledge in a distinct topic. That has nothing to do with you beeing awesome or shitty. It is a chance to see where your knowledge needs to be improved and give you the chance to improve it. And be it only your studying habits. See the benefit in the challenge and don't be afraid. There is so much to gain and in reality very little to loose.

 

Thank you for your encouragement and advice 

I understand that fear of failing is there especially the vicious circle that I have been trapped for a long time

The thing is how can I get stronger  to go through tough days?

Today I have been having no strive and I felt good that I had my last exam this week.

Sometimes it is desperation or today it was feeling good that causes me to binge on yt or porn.

I have watched some procrastination videos and perfectionism but I don' know how to put this into practice.

Sometimes I wanna throw a mountain I do several things that are productive but sometimes I give straight in 

like ah there's a negative feeling or something I don't wanna deal with and bam another dose of dopamine I don't even try to face the difficulty sometimes hen I have a tough day.

I cn do well on easy days but when there is a tough day I do the easy binging.

I have relapsed today on binging and pmo and yt.

I have never done something productive over a longer time.

It was only those binge learning for tests and I am already working on that one but no pmo and quitting games..

Also the root issue is that I look at one thing  one time and then never again and say yeah I can do no games but  as time goes on and I am feeling better I have forgotten what kind of consequences gaming has or pmo.

 

Gratitude 

I learn more about my root issues and have pushed through 3.5 days without games!

 

 

[WorkInProgress]

On 14.12.2017 at 8:08 PM, dirkj3 said:

Thank you for your encouragement and advice 

I understand that fear of failing is there especially the vicious circle that I have been trapped for a long time

The thing is how can I get stronger  to go through tough days?

 

You get stronger if you go through tough days. Not the other way around. Make a plan for the next time you would usually binge and do something else. It doesn't have to be productive. Maybe go for a walk or visit some friends or family. Anything but these bad habits you build over time. This isn't the way out but you plan with the cognitive part of your brain an alternative in front and then you'll need less willpower to evade your negative behaviours. If your able to do this a few time it gets easier and easier. The key is to plan in front when you are still in control so it is very easy to follow through with it. A side effect is that you'll become more mindful of your own behaviour which is always a good thing.

[dirkj3]

Thank you for your encouragement and help

I am done with it I have been gaming for about 16 hours and slept for only about 3/4hour?

Damn. I have a very difficult exam on Wednesday

 

 

I watched a few of Cam's videos

[dirkj3]

Today my teacher said that I shouldn't think and just do

Gratitude list

A good night of sleep I felt refreshed as I woke up at 6.30 in the morning.

I didn't feel sp weak like yesterday

I did some exam  prep for tomorrow  love the usual german lessons in which our teacher.is talking about the middle ages and myths that are out there

It is very interesting.

 

[Hitaru]

Think, but don't forget to do! 

Good luck in your exam!

[dirkj3]

Thank you Hitaro!!

 

[Mimetic]

Good luck with your exam Idk, maybe it helps if you do little steps? When i had this monstrous law exam i procastinated a lot too. It helped setting smaller goals. You dont have to study everything in one day. If you start early enough you can do one by one and dont stress yourself too much. Other than that, dont give up. Everyone here needs to find his/her individual way. But in the end we can all succeed, iam pretty sure of that