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Day 6!


dirkj3
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Hello Gamequitters

I have started yesterday my journey to finally break through the box that keeps me being miserable

I found myself reinstalling another game on my phone i had deleted several times.

It was 4am where i was so pissed about  restarting the game starting from scratch...

I told myself that i am done with it .

I wanna quit games and pmo no matter what

I notice that i have a negative association to being productive.(Thank you Cam for putting that video out)

I have written a pro and cons list about why i game and about the consequences.

Now that there wont be any pro arguments for gaming other than the craving for dopamine surges... for example i have been to the christmas fair today

If i would have been gaming i wouldnt be going outside.

 

I can use dopamine to work for me and not against me.

I have started to do 5 daily push ups just for consistency.

I have 3 exams after the winter break.

  I have quitted at 4 am and as i got up i felt down and afer that i went to town to buy some christmas gifts and it felt weird

But it is definitely easier to change myself because there is nothing that hinders me.

I picked up typing and it feels great that i didnt forget everything!!

 

 Gratitude list

 

buying christmas gifts and having a nice lunch in town

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Thank you for your awesome support 

I have celebrated my streak of one week push ups a couple days ago.

I have applying the slight edge for a couple days 

Especially the three reasons why one does not follow daily activities has been a real eye-opener for me.

Gratitude list 

The first travel without gaming 

Day 11 of push ups !!

Travel to North Sea

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Hello Gamequitters!

It´s me dirkj3 after quite awhile now.

What books can I recommend you?

The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson

Do you know a book which deals about short and long term gratification?

Thank you

Gratitude list

A  night of rest

My mum having as a support

relief that i dont have to hide yself and the possibiliry to speak more

 

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10 hours ago, dirkj3 said:

Hello Gamequitters!

It´s me dirkj3 after quite awhile now.

What books can I recommend you?

The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson

Do you know a book which deals about short and long term gratification?

Thank you

Gratitude list

A  night of rest

My mum having as a support

relief that i dont have to hide yself and the possibiliry to speak more

 

Hey dirkj3, good stuff! :D Keep it up!

I've read The Slight Edge and I enjoyed it. :) 

Books I'd recommend about short-long term gratification, the best I've read is The Willpower Instinct, by Kelly McGonigal. Without a doubt.

Another great book on that subject (although not as awesome as the previously mentioned) is Switch, by Dan Heath.

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On 4.1.2018 at 11:34 PM, superiggy said:

Hey dirkj3, good stuff! :D Keep it up!

I've read The Slight Edge and I enjoyed it. :) 

Books I'd recommend about short-long term gratification, the best I've read is The Willpower Instinct, by Kelly McGonigal. Without a doubt.

Another great book on that subject (although not as awesome as the previously mentioned) is Switch, by Dan Heath.

Thank you very much I ll give it a shot!

Hello Gamequitters!

It is almost a year now since I have joined this forum with Cam being my last hope to help me to introduce me to the website

I have to admit I didnt come here very often(which I ll definitely change)

I spend my last christmas week gaming I have stopped because I JUST SEE THE LOSS AVERSION AND OR SUNKEN COST FALLACY IN IT

I have gamed through the nights like every 2 days..

the insight for me has been the moment when I saw in my imagination my parents and my brother crying because i had gamed me to death

It was just an image and after few minutes I HAD MY PHONE WITH THE GAME IN MY HANDS READY TO SINK ANOTHER NIGHT

Then I was like: I wanna be happy so bad and I dont want to deal with the Gaming requirements to unlock certain things anymore

I wanna be free from that(school will be starting soon)

Since  two days  I have my phone in the common area which feels awesome

I started the HAPPY HABITS for a little

Today there was an exam and it was tough to be with the self critizising voice in my head

Usually I dont hear it but today it was very stressful and I was resisting it....

I have fapped yesterday but i had such an enormous dream experience!!!

 I have read 10 pages of the slight edge and i feel that it is working in me.!

 

 

Gratitude list

I was helping an elderly woman in the elderly home to open the door for her and to grab the papers she has dropped on the ground.

I  love myself being mor energetic since I have a no porn streak of one week.

I see the world in a more positive light than before.

 

HOW DO I FEEL RIGHT KNOW?

I am tired and I am tempted to game on the pc right know

 

 

 

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Day  1/90 Nogames 

Gratitude 

I didn’t sleep in this morning 

More time for  new activities 

Less pressure in school at the moment

 

Feelings

I'm tired 

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Day 5/90 Nogames

Hello all!

Gratitude 

the sunlight 

baking a cake

being in charge and responsible for actions

 

One advice I can give us once you are preparing yourself for success:

1.Make a structure in weekdays for the weekends.

That removes huge amount of starting issues in work or anything else you'd love to do.

2. By Brian Tracy there is the principle I cannot clrecall its name but do the most difficult and the most important thing first.

3. Do 3 or 4 things a day and give yourself a penny on your  imaginary account

each day you did one thing the second day give yourself 2 pennies and so on 

the point of it is that each day you do something is worth more than the day before.

It helped me to push myself out of the thinking  "all days are the same".

Emotions/feelings

It is tough to do one thing that you don' like over the course of time.

I am tired but I am happy that I feel the slight effect of the happy habits having on me!!!

See ya!

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hello 

I am not interested in games anymore they don't satisfy me anymore.

I feel screwed I talked about that woth my dad that I feel isolated and depressed I thought about suicide.

They don't understand my problem with gaming addiction  I cannot explain them anything because they don't understand.

I cannot put a blanket about my problems anymore.

I am screwed I have no real friends I never played multilayer games 

Most of all II am afraid that nothing will change from its own 

no problems will disappear all that I will carry over

I am afraid that I ll slip into drugs and I don't want to see my pare ts cry when they see me dead somewhere laying around.

I am really scared and I bet that after I write this post I ll be looking for a game to play or to attempt to cover my issues.

I am afraid to go upstairs because u can game there whenever I want and how much i want.

Will that shit ever stop?

 

I know how addiction works but I have never really practice what I know consistently to get away from porn and gaming.

 

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On 1/4/2018 at 11:34 PM, superiggy said:

Hey dirkj3, good stuff! :D Keep it up!

I've read The Slight Edge and I enjoyed it. :) 

Books I'd recommend about short-long term gratification, the best I've read is The Willpower Instinct, by Kelly McGonigal. Without a doubt.

Another great book on that subject (although not as awesome as the previously mentioned) is Switch, by Dan Heath.

Hi superiggy 

I habe ordered Kelly Mcgonigal the willpower habit

I still have a few chapters to read on The slight edge!!

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  • 4 weeks later...

Hello

 

It has been awhile

I am done with gaming i quitted on saturday last week

I feel overwhelmed with taking responsibililty in my life

i cannot go any further if I dont make meditation as a habit

I am afraid that my gaming addiction is turning into a yt binge addiction

 

The entertainment part of me wanting instant gratification is extremely strong on friday evenings

Just because it is weekend

This has always been an extreme time every week i Can remember.

I am facing the toughest time in the week as well as I am tired and it is late  like 12pm

Those are the key cues for me hitting my weaknesses!

 

Wish me luck!

 

 

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  • 1 month later...

Day 3

 

It goes alright until the nights

other than that I feel more energy to do things.

I feel lke you can go far with a good schedule that suits you.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Day 2 

Feeling about myself that I keep my phone downstairs so even If I do some lessons on my phone or writing down appointments on Google calendar I have no issues with having my phone 

but as soon as I go upstairs with my phone.

Well. 

I m happy that I pushed through the day and "free time"  I had .where I have done some school for the exam tomorrow and some self improvement!!

I wrote down 10 Gratitude things and listened to a podcast on the way to school 

I couldn't help but smiling the whole way up to my work place???

They had a real impact on me!!

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Hello 

Yesterday  I was going out having a walk and then instantly gaming thoughts and justifications to play hit me!

At first it was the common desire to game I felt this desire from my chest and it was coming from inside.

I was like that's interesting( I felt it before a lot when I  wanted to game when I haven' been on the detox)

But a fee minutes after that I felt down and I was thinking do I suppress that emotion?

No I wasn't why did the craving and the desire got stronger??

I sped up my pace when I was home I realized why I had cravings like that.

it was because I wasn't doing anything that engaged my mind 

I was just sitting there at the birthday table with my mums birthday guests.

I was also bored at that time but I haven't felt anything during that time

 

So today I wanna check more out giving Kung fu a shot!

I also plan to work more with my daily agenda and with the detox in general

I picked up Japanese for a little like the alphabet:))

 

Day 2 or 3 I believe 

Dirk 

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Hello 

 I have heavy  urges to game and the main trigger is probably that today is Friday..

Other than that I liked the Kung fu Lesson today!!

I felt a lot more confident and I caught some girls looking at me..

One girl looked at me and she did that as well I get a little uneasy because I didn’t expected that..

But right now I am bored 

 

 

 

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  • 4 weeks later...

Hi 

week 1

Feelings: overwhelming I faced fear and frustration and it very intense.

I didn't respond to it the correct way though.

Responding correctly is not as easy as it looks when you  are viewing it from the fishbowl gaming was for me.

Ironically after I had an energy outburst I made some meditation only to freak out even more intense after this..

It was all add up for the last months of suppression gaming was for me.

Right now I am feeling nothing.

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Have you thought what to replace gaming with? You seem to mention that you get bored often - my first guess would be that there is nothing that really motivates you outside of gaming. Kung-fu is great, I highly encourage that, but it's only for a few hours per week, it's not an activity you can do anytime you have some free time. Sorry if you mention this in the journal, I didn't read that much, but if you didn't - this should be the #1 priority. What do you want to do?

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Hello

How do you do?

 

I managed to be without games for Saturday!! I have pushed through some school stuff, which I was very proud about. I restrained from sweets which was very tough and i have done the most difficult tasks first.

On Saturday i have planned what i want to do for Sunday but my list was there and i didnt even look at it and was watching yt videos until i was I felt like a light heat coming out of the area of my chest then i watched some porn, not knowing what that heat meant.

After that I gamed.

I dont like to numb myself mentally when there is a more unpleasant feeling or emotion coming in

My guess is that i exhausted myself and then on Sunday i was bored and not stimulated mentally and some justification going on.

 

 

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Hello

day 2

I put two cents in my habit bank- working with that system I can see constant measurable growth more clearly

Yesterday i texted a good friend of mine from America about that.

I am not stimulated by anything now.. I am also tired but there is an exam coming up (as always) and yeah

When Cam said that we got to be intentional with the time does that mean that we are rotten if not all the days are going perfect or highly productive?

 

Dirk

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On 5/18/2018 at 2:50 PM, JustTom said:

Have you thought what to replace gaming with? You seem to mention that you get bored often - my first guess would be that there is nothing that really motivates you outside of gaming. Kung-fu is great, I highly encourage that, but it's only for a few hours per week, it's not an activity you can do anytime you have some free time. Sorry if you mention this in the journal, I didn't read that much, but if you didn't - this should be the #1 priority. What do you want to do?

 To be honest with you

@JustTom 

I am doing school almost the whole time when u sm not meditating or doing some home workout.

 

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Hi

I I dropped 6 cents in the habit bank!

Yesterday was awesome but I feel apathy towards real life opportunities like I when I don't have a plan and go to the city with a lot of people around I kinda want to escape that.

Also, I have seen so many young couples about my age or a little younger..

I  was like...holy crab and I am still going to the event with my parents...

See ya 

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Hello

I did a full blown fast food binge it started all with eating chocolate and then I felt horny and I watched a porn video- after that i ate a lot of candy to make myself feel good again.

Now like 3 hours after the relapse I can see that the preparation for the next day and setting a tight schedule to set oneself up for success is a real thing because when you are not intentional with what you do when cravings hit.....

To be honest I didnt meditate for 2 days and I really miss that feeling of being refreshed after a meditation practice.

Mindfulness when a trigger comes is as I believe crucial to exercise as well as self-forgiveness

You gotta make some time for it because it is the only way out of comfort coping and other coping strategies.

I felt horny by feeling a light feeling in my stomach. It didnt feel like a tightness in the chest area when  I am angry or frustrated.

It just feels weird

My future for the week are: at least half an hour of really intentionally put meditation practices into daily life

By the way I have put 8 cents in my habit and I am more than happy that I have gone beyond 7 days!!

I was listening to some podcast lately it is called Art of 'Charm and one thing that I could take out of it is that : feel the urge to scratch and be curious about anything

 

I also noticed that very often I am settling for less what  I want. I have now specific goals..

I want to quit gaming but do I do with the time when I have no big dreams or goals that can motivate me longterm.

 

Dirk

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I m not doing anything.. I have changed something in my planned routine but for some reason I do the same mistake again. I eat candy and watch youtube vids.

It's soon supper and I still didn't do anything for school.

Also I have seen a kinda attractive girl today and I sat next to her like kinda expecting she will fall in love or something in that direction.

And Then  the quote

"the world owes you nothing"

I an procrastinating on what needs to be done and unless I don't put the effort in it the reason why I am procrastinating will still be there.

It is difficult to do something I am very uncomfortable with doing..

Day 9

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