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dirkj3

Day 6!

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Day 14

Feeling weird right now I have noticed a lot of things about negative habits-

I still struggle to keep a persistent agenda going especially because I dont have set priorities to time management yet.

I say its 4 pm then I do 4 Pomodoros and then I take a walk then its supper then it kinda gets blury then its 9 to 9.30

I have school from 8 to 3 Pm and on weekends I struggle to deal with all that additional freetime

You can not say it is 11 am screw it ill do some sport in the middle of a lesson...

 

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Day 17

So far, I notice slight improvements in my diabetes treatment like my blood sugar isnt above 300mg dl for a longer period of time anymore

I stopped gaming but I havent made any new habits because something inside doesnt want to spend more time on self development or any uncomfortable areas.

it drags me down when I dont actively choose new activities other than eating ice cream in front of the computer or watch animations after the news.

Today there was a chem test and I felt good in the beginning but the last 3 tasks in the last half an hour paralysed me, it was an slow ongoing process of thinking

Thats fine that I didnt get this task completely right.

I only learned the comfortable things not the uncomfortable being emersed in the actual process of rehearsing a process of a titration.

Like what to calculate and the most important why Im doing that.

Anyone reading this, I dont know how to change that...the negative thoughts played a part in the stress and kinda black out moment  as well.

I cant continue my way by living through life without taking real action into challenging myself or doing something more uncomfortable.

Can some one please help me?

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Day 0

After about 2 months of letting myself struggling I decided to start miracle morning.

Today is my second day.

I have been gaming every 2 nights through the night and I don't want to live a separated life with 2 personas 

I have read Mindset by Dweck and some other self development books but never implemented it to real life.

I want to change that.

I want to commit to a life purpose to wake up every day. 

I am grateful for getting up this morning

 

Yours

Dirk

 

Edited by dirkj3
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Day 1 Miracle Morning 

Hello World

I am tired waking up 1 hour earlier than I have to but I did it anyway!!

I don't feel any better than before

Yesterday I was doing some school next to it I had a game running on my phone...

I could do what I want I couldn't get to finish the task how I wanted because I was constantly distracted by it.

Usually I would delete the game immediately and try to subjugate the very thought Bout games.

It's interesting what a game does to your performance. 

Anyways I'm struggling to bring up will to move on from games, as they will always be there on my Google account if I don't

"draw a line in the Sand" to move on from it!

See ya  coming again tomorrow

 

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Entry Ne 1

Yesterday 

Gratitude

breathe air, awake, alive, new day, 

Most important facts what my day consisted of yesterday:

the morning went well.

After school I substituted buying and eating candy with reading a book

after I got home  I have eaten a lot of ice cream.

Then 3.5 hours yt-session

 No Evening routine.

woke up the same bit with a weird dream. 

 a dream where there is no gaming or porn involved I cannot believe it!!

So far so good

I 'll update later more info

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9 hours ago, dirkj3 said:

Day6

Relapsed PMO during night time.

Have any advice what to do when you aren't tired?

 

Hey! You are back!

There're plenty of things to do. Learn something new, get a new hobby. Get outside your room, exercise. Do some chores. Spend time with family and friends. Use a pomodoro clock. It looks simple but it is powerful. Trust me.

Start with small steps. Read more journals here. People usually stop craving for games after less than a month. The key is to fill your free time with all kinds of things to do.

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2 hours ago, Silverlining said:

Hey! You are back!

There're plenty of things to do. Learn something new, get a new hobby. Get outside your room, exercise. Do some chores. Spend time with family and friends. Use a pomodoro clock. It looks simple but it is powerful. Trust me.

Start with small steps. Read more journals here. People usually stop craving for games after less than a month. The key is to fill your free time with all kinds of things to do.

Ok thank you very much!

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Day 8 or 9

I went to a gym yesterday night. it felt good and I am planning to go there the next time. I am still shy and am rather not asking people for help as this will show me that I don't know something.

I keep my phone in the kitchen and I almost got my phone in my room. I feel like I am replacing gaming with junk food.

I plan to read and write a journal but then I don't get to any of this. Next exams are coming. I feel like I don't want quit games I kinda gave up that there is a better real life. 

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Hello

1. If you want to make the recovery as difficult as possible give yourself no rewards and be hard on yourself....That's  exactly what I have been doing.

2. I am scared to ask for help and I ordered something wrong and I was afraid of the consequences of quickly correcting myself to order something else. 

3.I fantasize a lot being around people in bigger crowds lioke going through town. Something I have never noticed before.

4.This morning was nice I felt confide t with no interest in giving a s***about  what others think over my beard.

5.I am proud that I haven't been playing games for ower a week now!!

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Today I was proud of myself of getting up of my favorite bus seat to sit next to a beautiful girl.

On my way home I have seen some peeps playing Clash of clans a game I had some very realistic dreams about...

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Today I almost thought if relapsing the last exam before Christmas with the old usual free time.

But when I was in town after school I thought f*** it I dont wanna go home There I ll be tempted to game.

I rushed through the Christmas market to see some familiar faces but I don't see anyone and then I was headed home for lunch.

I still think that I can quit games on my own but  I have been watching this video by Tommy Rosen 

In which he said that I should have a community and  a 12 step program in order to quit for good.

I am not sure about this.

 

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by the  way sinc3 I have stopped I ate a lot more junk food and I don't want to tagwt that addiction because I want to focus on games and porn at first.

 

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day 0

brain fog as hell I have relapsed and still have a game on my phone.

I don't thing that my wanting to quit games and improve in constant measurable growth outside if games is not gonna be the same as in gaming.

I need some opinion on the question:

The basics of quitting gaming is

1. learning how to deal  with urges and withdrawals which will be easier the better your reasons are to quit?

Including all the cravings for that you miss games.

2.Getting involved in your life building up momentum to make your life as epic as possible?

I am frustrated that I feel like shot now Yesterday the only thing that mattered to me was getting to some constant measurable growth but I didn't find anything. It was my day 1 without games.

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Hello 

I commit to the 90 day journey

I have procrastinated so long for this decision but now I want to after several years of suffering.

I  have beenstsrtimf with this yesterday 

I have been watching porn and eating junk after I quit games 

I think it was the 2 cognitive biases messing with me.

I want t9 at least keep the journal for the 90 days writing about my feelings and what areas I feeling with the most.

The day after porn and games I woke up wondering why I have been watching porn after quitting games.

 

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Hello

 I Have started to put some loops together after finishing a couple hoirds of studying.

I cannot imagine how epic that felt!!!

It was so deliberating and it just made so much fun!!!

I have been watching some videos on to apps and programs from other people but it was kinda overwhelming hearing and seeing what they look for.

I just put sokme loops together with no melody just drums and guitar!!! and some sound effects.!

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This is my official start on the 90day detox.

I have noticed that If I am not controlling my cravings and doing what my addicted brain is telling me,  then my parents have to seize my phone.

Therefore,  I had the choice of either having my parents take my phone (external control) or doing something  about my addiction with the help of you guys and especially myself to set myself free(Internal motivation)

Before I have only seen the academics consequences  and having issues with dealing with life.

Now I see the bonding that keeps me immature while having having your parents controlling your life.

To sum up I made the relation:

easily giving into cravings with no second thinking=>having issues with                                       accepting the truth                                       and beingin that state where you cannot deal with your life setting you up to live life depending parents.

 

Thank you

 

You can have it the easy way deciding what you gonna do with your life and living it to th fullest or you can be escaping life and continue gaming and giving other person the right to control you.

 I have chosen the former.

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2 hours ago, katsudo19 said:

Hey! I remember you from I guess 2017? You still struggle with games? I see that @Mettermrck keep struggling too. Man we must find another way to stop this nonsense. My previous nick was @Onlysoul.

Yes I haven't been in it to be honest.

But now, I wanna make it right.

I have been struggling withchaving an agenda over the holidays.

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Howdy!!

I struggled to wake up today initially waking up at 5.30 But then snoozing till around 7.

I don't need coffee anymore. Noticing that I morally judging whether this is a igood or a bad morning.

 

I have listened to a meditation introductional podcast which went great. Did some studying 

I m grateful for my jacket

for my mom and for the next day!!

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Hi

I had one exam today and it went well.

Got up right at the start

I made the goal to repeat the school material and to finally start with my examination prep for April!

More importantly I want to start to learn new techniques  but somehow I don't put it high enough to actually tackle it Might be because I don't trust that something new can replace my old dysfunctional boring learning strategies..

Could someone help me with that?

I made a plan yesterday in the evening but I didn't get to start it When I wake up I surprisingly react a lot to my circumstances and don't refer to my goals I made the evening before

 

 

Could you please help me with that

I have been starting the Miracle Morning after a couple of months rest.

I'm in exam prep mode!

Don't feel any cravings at the moment.

Having huge sugar cravings now and instant gratification 

Edited by dirkj3

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