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Regular Robert

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Regular Robert last won the day on March 4

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About Regular Robert

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  1. Love this, but ... Love this even more. ;) Have you ever heart David F. Wallace's speech "This is water"? If not, you should. It is astonishing how we often do not see the very basic things around us. Being grateful for a sunny day is a great way to turn a regular day into a sunny day. Love your attitude.
  2. Hey you know, when I started my detox I tried to quit smoking as well. But it is not that easy. Gaming can be replaced but I believe quitting cigarettes is a different kind of wine. My uncle had a brain tumor and quit for 7 years only to, one shiny day, buy a pack of smokes and continue as if he never stopped. I quit and start over quite often. Currently, I smoke. I am processing my past which makes me go nuts and I feel to weak in willpower to quit completely even though I had not smoked in months. What often works is changing my condition. I often smoked in front of the screen and during "social events". When I first quit smoking I denied myself to smoke indoors, so having to go out into the cold was a good motivation not to smoke. Not sure if that helps. My ex GF went to some hypnosis guy and for her it seems to work. Aside from that, I wish you the strength to quit and do not feel alone in this. Smoking is harder to give up than many other addictions, since you do not see crack or cocaine everywhere, but the smell of of a burning cigarette can catch you almost everywhere. Stay strong, mate.
  3. A genius impulse!
  4. Bobbie's 90+ day detox ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- SMILE WHENEVER YOU CAN ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- As some of you might have figured out already, I live in Germany. Somehow, smiling, ultimately showing happiness and love does not seem to be standard education in schools, nor families. About two years ago, I began my detox. Among many issues that suddenly surfaced, I realized that I am not only suppressing negative emotions, but emotions in general. What does that mean? It means, that I held back anger, fury, grief but also happiness, joy and - of course - love. This love is not limited to my wife or my dog or my family. In fact, I never learned to express happiness in my youth. This resulted in a sad, isolated adolescence. After my detox - and also during my detox - I felt. I felt many emotions. "Feeling" is so close to "falling" and I want to believe, that it has a reason. If you feel and express your feelings, it often feels like falling down. It feels like showing weakness. That might even be the case. But what I learned was that showing your emotions might upset some people, might drive some people away from you, but that is mostly not because of yourself. Emotions are a delicate topic for some reason. When I go out today, I smile at everybody I want to. It does not mean that I flirt - well okay, somehow yeah, it does, but not that obvious, lame-ass kind of flirting -; when I smile today, I want to smile. And when I want to smile, I smile. In my experience, many people look away but some do actually smile back. I don't need people to smile back, but it still feels good to be smiled at. When I smile, I reinforce a feeling I have. I. Super egoistic, but real. And another thing I learned is that what you express will come back to you. You might now think "How can he suggest to walk around like a super high nutjob"? The answer is quite simple: You do not suppress yourself. I do not smile to impress people or manipulate them, but only because I - myself - want to smile. I dare to express my emotions. And that often helps others to express their feelings. Even if they look away, they often smile, too. It feels great to express what I feel and I want to recommend to you people who read my stuff: Smile, whenever you can. Smile at the clerk at the supermarket. Smile at the pissed man that feels harassed because he currently experiences anger. Smile at anybody if you feel like smiling. You are doing this for you. You are reinforcing your very own emotions. It is like listening to loud music and simply dance if you feel like dancing. If you feel it, experience it. I'd like to live in a society where people dare to smile at each other. It seems so common that people show a face of hatred, but I am here to enjoy my life. I smile when I feel like smiling. So, go out there and smile like the sun smiles at you.
  5. Love the attitude!
  6. Useful attitude. If you feel ready, go for it. But one last suggestion: That is what you thought is real in your first post. You had a mayor relapse 4 days in. This is not meant to shame you. Most of us had relapses and keep continuing having relapses from time to time. The point is, you thought you could simply make it. Easy peasy. It is not that easy and currently, you are deciding to do it by yourself. Why not simply create a journal? It can be another nice activity to gain confidence and find support. Going through this alone will be tough. Here you will find a tiny community to assist you. Why not make use of it? So, that is just an idea. Aside from all that, I wish you the best for your detox and life journey!
  7. Are you talking to your mom about what you are doing here? If not, you should. Tell her what kind of process you are going through. If she knows what you are doing, she can understand. If she understands, she wont be mad or disappointed but most likely support you on your journey. Also, you can tell her that next time you want her to buy a game for you, she shall ask you if and why you want the game. Not to bother or bug you, but to start a conversation in which you get a closer look at what is going on inside of you. As an example: I tell my wife that every time I buy candy, she shall remind me of what I said. That I don't want to eat that stuff at all. When I am about to buy that stuff, she reminds me and I usually start to get angry at first. I get angry at her because she did what I asked for. Confronting me with my own feelings. And than, when the 4 seconds of anger are gone, I can tell her why I want the stuff. And while I tell her, of course, I hear it, too. I hear my own voice and my own words. "I want to eat candy because I feel so empty right now and I don't know why and I know that some pieces of green and orange sugar would raise my mood". And while I talk with her about it, I instantly feel better and don't even need the stuff anymore. So, talk to your mom. It is very helpful if you have a supportive environment. I am sure she will listen and learn. And as a side effect, your connection to your mom and vice versa will grow even stronger.
  8. A general archive would be cool. Just like the archive in this sub area, simply for the whole forum. This way, old stuff (not like journals but regular threads) could be closed and moved into the archive, which may or may not be visible to the public and thus, we avoid deleting stuff but at the same time, we can keep the forum tidy. I used this method in my steam group and in my forum back in the days when I was a gamer. Keeps the information available, but the forum neat.
  9. Like the idea. https://forum.gamequitters.com/index.php?/topic/6128-health-how-can-i-improve-my-diet-during-and-after-the-detox/ @Bugg, @Dannigan, @thehondasc00py If you want to, it would be awesome if you all could post a couple of experiences in the thread mentioned above. I am sure many future quitters will benefit from it. Thank you, guys and gurl. Edit: Also, very sorry for spamming all this stuff into your journal. Please, have mercy on my soul for my deeds are meant to help people. :P
  10. So, welcome back! The search function somewhat suffered from some kind of server error, but I am sure your old journal is still around somewhere. If not, well than that sucks but some content seems to have bitten the dust due the the mentioned server hick up. Anyway, glad you found your way back and I hope your life journey will improve again!
  11. I get it. I think I did a bad job explaining my point. Basically, all I wanted to say was: If your brain tells you "I must continue quitting video games" you will feel pressure and you will feel forced. You will feel forced to actively walk away from something. On the other hand, if you can replace "I must quit video games" with - just like you did - "I want to quit video games to become [blank] and achieve [blank] and improve [blank]..." you are not forced. You are making your very own decision and - which is very important - instead of being forced to walk away from something, you decide to walk towards something. Your progress walking away from something can not be measured, since the goal is to abstain from it, which is goal and progress and the same time. Self fulfilling. But your progress walking towards something can be measured and will deliver results, success and achievements. I hope this explanation is more clear than the last one was. In sum, I already feel that you are making your own decisions and your drive comes from the willpower to achieve something, which is purely awesome. You are one of the strongest quitters I have read so far. Your precision when you look at and analyze yourself, coupled with your extreme honesty is kind of mind blowing. All in all, I have no doubts that you will achieve your goals. The moment you created your first post here, you already transitioned from the old person you were before into the person you want to be. It is simply great. Du machst das gut, Mädchen! Weiter so! ;) Practice some German while we are at it. Haha.
  12. "Radical honesty" is probably the best "self-help book" I know. Because it is free of most of the B.S. you find in other books. Like Scoopy described it, hiding your condition will create a worse condition. Alcoholism, eating disorders, self-harm, drug and also gaming addictions all grow when a person lives in the jail of guilt. "I feel bad today, so I play games. Now, eight hours later, my day is over and nothing is done, no task fulfilled. That makes me feel guilty and bad and I need to game..." Surrender to your feeling of being scared. Be scared that your disorder might come back. There was a reason why you played excessively in the first place. Once you experience the fear and live the pain, you can let it go. If you can't, find help. And talk about it. This here is the first step. This here is like practicing to talk about it. Find somebody to talk about your issue. Because your mind, if you do not talk about it, will be the only voice you hear and your mind will find a way to turn this little issue into a big fat fuck up. The more you think about it, the more weight it will gain. In the end, your eating disorder is just another symptom. You are digging right into the core of your condition. Do not suppress it. If you feat that you can't do it alone, find help. A therapist, family members. But don't suppress it. This now, is a chance. A chance to work on what really is going on. Heck, when things crumble and your core issue is too large to handle, you can even go back to gaming and use it like you would use medicine. You are not forced to quit gaming. I am not saying this to make you weak, but to reinforce that you are free. Quitting video games should never be a massive weight on your shoulders that you have to do, but a step you take because you want to do. Less weight, less pressure. Knowing you are free and not a slave, nor a victim will help you a great deal.
  13. I think what you experience is quite normal. You are very absorbed by the fact that you are going through an intense time. You get to know yourself better and your focus lies on yourself. I don't think that this is a problem. It will fix itself. But one thing you could try is to stop pleasing others. You do not have to say something you do not believe just because you feel it is necessary to say something. What you could do however, is to "retreat into honesty". If you feel awkward because you don't know what to say, say that you feel awkward because you do not know what to say. Than, state why. Like, state that you are going through a lot of change right now. If people are interested in what kind of change, tell them about your detox. After all, that is honest and true and that is what you can actually talk about a lot. Often, we think we have to say something, otherwise the whole conversation will be awkward and people will think we are strange. But the truth is, that by just saying something, we generate more awkwardness, because we rely on small talk, which cannot connect two people. A connection can appear if one human talks to another human. And often, if we overcome our fear of what the other person might or might not think, we get surprised, because the other person suddenly gains interest in the conversation. A genuine conversation can arise, if people talk genuinely. So, that is just a hint. Aside from that, congrats! It seems you are doing real fine and I hope that you gain a lot from this new experience.
  14. Getting by is not living life. And I feel that you know that and that is the reason why you want to quit. Feeling alive and surviving are two different things. The point is, if you say that you "can't" or are "unable" to take the step, you already decided what you want. You decided to go on living like this. Nobody here can truly help you take this step. If we would, it would not be your step. You would only feel pushed or convinced into doing something you do not wish to do. That way, quitting video games would not add value to your own life. You ... must ... want ... it. Don't take this the wrong way, but why should anybody here help you if you do not want to help yourself? Know what I mean? If you want it, take the first step. If you take the first step, most of the people in here will help you because that is what works. And if you feel unease, well embrace it. Because that is how this process feels. Uneasy. The detox is, for a big part, unsatisfying, uneasy, uncomfortable, because you change your life. Our minds like familiarity. We would rather adapt to the already known pain than decide to go into the unknown. We are cowards. The only way to stop being a coward is by being changing what we do. By being courageous. Take the first step. Delete your games. If you can do that, you can also create a journal on this board and start experiencing your progress. Edit: In case I came across a little harsh. I just wanted to stress that you have to commit yourself to this experience. Just try it and see how it works. There is nothing that could go wrong.
  15. Welcome, Lee! That sounds like one of those stories that are made into books and movies. Can't wait to read how it will continue! Already very impressed by how intentional you decide what to and what not to do!