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Everything posted by WorkInProgress

  1. @Marius Thanks for the tips. I don't know I tried so many things over the years but neither meditation nor gratitude journals and a lot of different other things seemed to have any effect on my productive. The bottom line is, if I do a lot of these things, which should be good for me I am not able to make them a habit. They jsut don't feel like their making a difference. After some time (few days-few months) it seems just like chore and my belief in them doing anyhting positive dwindles. The everyday pressure leads then to me cutting them. I have the feeling of just to much pressure on myself. Going full detox doesn't help there it seems. Because I tried and relapsed gaming after one day. Played like 3 Days straight hearthstone doing almost nothing at work and hiding it from my wife. I thought maybe I can regulate it and only play a little bit. As expected, this didn't work (today was another 5hours of gaming before I was able to stop and delete the game. Kind of stumped. I think I need to somehow change my mindset. I have great work, great kids and a hell of lot to do. Because everyone needs me. Thats something good in its chore. I am just not able to handle the stress or reattribute it in a positive way. The urge to escape is really strong. I need to get actually more efficient and do less stuff at work. There I have a big degree of control and this should be my starting point. At home stuff gets hopefully better over time. Dopamine detox isn't right for me it seems. Gaming isn't either. Maybe I can restart things in september. Then my big work project is done. My wife and my older sone are one month in a diagnostical institution for pediatric psychological problems, and I have taken a vacation to look after the younger one while they are awake. This means I am able to organize my life on my own again. I will try to get a relaxed but strict schedule, to develop better habits.
  2. @KeithRowe I am a recovering gaming addict and have 2 kids (1 and 3,5 years old). I can only imagine how I would handle this situation with my boys: I would enforce a screen time limit because it's my responsibility to take of the health of my children. I would explain why I am doing this (focussing so much on a screen and not the real world is dangerous makes me scared for his wellbeing) I would do more things with him at start to ease the transition and keep my smartphone out as much as possible to model the behavior I want to see in him. Cam (the founder of this community) actually has created some resources for parents, so maybe that's interesting for you (https://gamequitters.com/reclaim/9). I didn't take the course, but I read a lot of cams content and can recommend it. I hope I could help you a bit and wish you best of luck with your grandson
  3. @Tazer One idea from Cam was helpful for me there. He said you should not forget gaming, but actually be thankful for the ways it helped you in the past. Say thanks and goodbye. Find what needs gaming fullfilled for you and become the persone who has other, more valuable ways to fulfill these needs. Then you can still look back and think of the good times you had gaming without urges to play. Because you like you are today has better things to do.
  4. Another day without work. My wife visited some friends with the kids so that I had some time to clean. I wasted around 90minutes with youtube, porn and drinking a beer/limo mix. It's strange how hard it is for me to sit with some pressure or just start doing something. After that shitty start, I cleaned our apartment and drilled some holes to construct our new wardroom (is this really the correct word in english?) were our jackets can be hanged. This was on the agenda for some time, but its quite impossible to do this with the kids around. In sum I was productive for around 5 hours (and teh appartment still looks messy). But I think I did okay today. But it annoys me still that I seem unable to kick these things that are bad for me even if I am in low stress situations. They are awful habits. Tomorrow I will not watch youtube, I will not read stuff on the word wide web without purpose, eat no sweets and I won't use porn or masturbate. That will be day one of the new person I am becoming. Someone who is relaxed, energized, does the important things without hesitations, and stays healthy in body and mind because of his good habits.
  5. Hey @d.manuk, I am glad that it seems like everything is okay. I read your journal from time to time, and currently you seem very focussed on your appearance (acne and fitness being on your mind a lot). You seem to use with these dates with benefits for self validation. It seems a little unhealthy for you to focus so much on how other people see you and to make this a blocker to something like having a meaningful relationship. Why is this so important to you? What other things do you have that make you special and love-worthy? I think everyone deserves good and deep relationships with good conversations and an emotional bond. To get this and also give this to someone else is something you shouldn't miss out. Just some thoughts from someone who read your entries from time to time. I wish you all the best!
  6. @liam Great that you were able to delete all that accounts and got over the sunk cost fallacy. Waking up5:00 to do some fitness is impressive. My youngest child also awakes around that time, and I know how fucking early that is 😄 . Maybe I start my day with him with some fitness tomorrow.
  7. Today I was successful for around 3/4 of the day with not using my phone and doing very low stimulus activities. But in the afternoon after a longer excursion with my 2 kids I was tired and watched some gaming content. Seems like I use this also as a way to boost me up if my energy level is down. I also drank a decent amount of coffee. But on the good side, I was this morning in a relaxed productivity mode. The household chores and playing with the kids seemed not like energy draining, but more like a default activity. If I can stay in this mode longer (especially if I work again) I think my productivity and average energy level will increase without a doubt. I think this is the correct path: minimal usage of my phone and everything else, which gives my spikes of stimulus without much effort. This includes things like messenger (caught me wanting to check my phone, whilst I knew that nothing important could have reached me) and mail. I will schedule them and otherwise don't look at it as a default. I will reduce/stop my caffeine intake also and eat more wholesome products and less industrial made stuff. If I am at work, this will also mean to silence teams and whatsapp and check it only every 25 minutes. And check my mail every 4 hours. It will also mean to schedule my day and stick to the (boring) plan.
  8. I am looking at the Mental Momentum course on youtube. He advices to do a Sunday with as little high dopamine activities as possible. Basically a day were you do nothing at all to prove yourself that you can do it. I think doing 90 days without gaming has a similar psychological benefit. It had it for me in the past at least. It showed me that I can do what I promised to do. That was really helpful after a long period were I always said: I will study, I will clean, I will excercise and then just gamed instead. Lately I seemed to gone back into that old mode of promising myself stuff (maybe to ambitious stuff) and then not keeping this promises. This is partly due to external factors (kids and wife taking priority over things I wanted to do) but it is my failure. I need to stop promise myself things with high propability to fail. That's something I learned. For example I currently can'T doesn' want to do the dopamin detox sunday andrew advices to. I currently don'T want to stop talking to my kids and my wife even for a day. For this I would need to take a hotel or something and leave all the responsibility and burden on my wife who struggles herself to get a little bit of time for herself.
  9. To make this a little more concrete, I'll write down a goal: at the 1.9.2021 following is true: My life feels grounded, and my healthy habits for my body and mind keep me sane and energized. I haven't watched porn or youtube and did not read things on the internet without clear purpose for the last month. I said no to new challenges and was able to create free periods of time. I drank a lot of water and ate healthy whenever possible I imagined all ready being at this point and thought about and worked on reaching this goal everyday
  10. @Marius Thanks for the tip. I watched the first two videos, and it seems like something I could need. Not to sure about the theory behind it but I am quite certain that all the high dopamine activities I do currently (porn, YouTube, eating high fat/high sugar things) if I feel down or stressed are damaging to me. Therefore, I think it is time to make a cut and find other activities which maybe have a lower level of instant gratification but actually help my living conditions to improve. What could these other things be? Ideas: Exercise, Household chores, writing, playing with my kids, talking with my family, -> Basically living a simple modest live. What I don't want to do anymore: Read stuff online without clear purpose, YouTube, Porn, eating to feel better. But these are only reactions to stress and bad habits. I think I need also work on reducing stress in my life. With two small kids, a wife struggling with health issues and full-time work, I feel oftentimes overwhelmed and without buffer to do anything beyond the absolute necessary. This feeling leaves me drained of energy. When I then have some free time, it feels very hard to be proactive and do stuff that's good for me. The second point I want to tackle is having fewer things to do and more excess energy to do them. Ideas: Plan and do daily todo's. If I know I can finish them, I can ignore the big pile I still need to do and focus on the things planned for today. For this to work they need to be specified to be able to do in 30minutes or less (even if one/both kids are still awake) 10 minutes of exercise every day Drink 2l a day. Say no to every type of new obligation at work and at home and only do things I absolutely must do until I have free time which I can fill purposeful with activities
  11. Feeling better at Work. Getting to avplace where I so morgen the the necessary minimum. I am watching hat content again in YouTube. I need Something Else to entertain me. Maybe I watch some Anime or smth. We ll See
  12. Slept only around für hours thanks to kids Feel like shit today.
  13. Slipper with gaming content. Main Trigger was stress. Everything worked Out in the end but I could handled this way better
  14. Interesting reflection. Maybe gaming was a Patch for an underlying issue (mental or physical). Maybe you should talk to your doctor.
  15. After only 4 hours of sleep this was a really unproductive day. I did fall back on my pre detox nivaeu which is really low. But on the other hand I am way more organized right now and think I can compensate this to still reach the important goals of this week. But I need to sleep today.
  16. Yesterday I was on a day-long bachelor party. It was a fun day and really weird to be a day and a night without my wife and both kids. That makes me realize how little I socialize on a normal day, since I am a father. Now its time to to my best at work aagain. But I wanted to post here quickly to keep the routine going.
  17. Great step deleting the Account. Maybe you know persons with charcter traits you envy. To achieve this traits through small habits could bei a first step to your future self.
  18. @ZeroYes my wife knows about it. I think it is easier because I have a Lot to do. Only If it get's too much it triggers mevto escape Into Games.
  19. You know best what works for you. Great that you catched some good Moments.
  20. The measure of a good objective is how much positive energy I get from it in total (or how much energy loss I can prevent) directly after reaching it + indirectly over a period after I reached it. This means there should be a bias towards objectives that give you positive energy over a long time.
  21. This Bad mood is typical and get's better after some time. In my opinion stopping gaming ist something to bevproud of. It is helpful to Share this with your GF If you are able to do so.
  22. Hey there. Best of luck. I am currently quitting too. i will check out your daily Journal.
  23. This morning I feel under tension. That my son didn't want to go to the kindergarden and me starting later for work was enough to keep me stressed. I think it is hard for me that my wife's mental health is currently getting worse. This is most likely only a step back because of sleep deprivation. But it scares me. I don't want to go back to that place.
  24. Yesterday night I went walking for 45 minutes with the little one in the wrap. IT helped that my wife got some sleep (because afterwards he slept for 3 hours without waking). I guess the walking was good activity too. But I got to little sleep. I feel like things are going better lately. I am more on top of things.
  25. Sounds like you escaping negative Emotions with gaming(like I did). Good Job realizing it. I get the point about blocking Apps. It didn't help me either. But deleting my LoL-Account in the others Hand... If I didn't do this, I am sure I would still relapse in this Game. I played many games afterwards to escape (warcraft3, Dota, Hearthstone, etc...) but no game was as successful in short-circuiting my brain as LoL. Also uninstalling is not only about the barrier, it mainly circumvents opening the game in autopilot. I.e. Trying to study, bad feelings arise, open window search, type in Lol, ... and nothing comes up? Right, I uninstalled it. Especially with the rune system in LoL it makes the game less attractive if you don't play with full runes in my opinion. So delete your account if you want to stop playing it. It helps a bit. My story if its interests you: didn't play LoL since 2017. I relapsed with gaming and mindlessly browsing, porn, youtube, etc... but never LoL. Alone this made a major difference in my life. Now I married my girlfriend (who nearly left me because I played all the time instead of studying while she was at work and was really stressed out because of it), have two sons, and found a job in a fundamentally different industry (IT) then what I originally studied (chemical engineering). And I am still struggling with many things. I am still way better off then I would be if continued gaming LoL year over year. It is worth it. I am currently detoxing from gaming and gaming content on youtube and doing journaling daily too. I will swing by here from time to time. With a clear brain and Attention available, you will figure out a way forward. Best of luck.