Jump to content
×
×
  • Create New...

Dear Diary...


BooksandTrees
 Share

Recommended Posts

Thanks guys! @PochatokI've been sharing my work more often, especially my paintings and it's made me a lot happier. I'm going to start sharing my writing in a few months to get that going too.

@Amphibian220thanks. I need to let my finger heal but I will be ready to climb very soon. I got all of my new equipment. I've been walking outside on trails in the meantime.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I reached 141 weeks this past weekend. I had a wonderful vacation with my girlfriend and her family. I finally feel happy and free from burnout from work. I'm going to make sure I keep my mind in good health for the foreseeable future. I plan on doing some drums this week, reading, stretching, walking, and being positive about work and doing a good job. 

I will probably also draw a bit and just keep doing a couple relaxing activities each day.

  • Like 1
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Also, 100k views on my diary! Thanks for reading and keeping up everyone!

@Cam Adair thanks for helping me get started and building the diary. I never thought I'd get this much support.

I'd like to thank @Vera @Ikar @Amphibian220 @Icandothis @TheNewMe2.0 @DaBest @Phoenixking @seriousjay and all of the others who have frequently been in contact.

  • Like 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

I haven't felt like posting in a while. Work has been emotional. I've uploaded my second podcast, lost 10 lbs, and am trying to do more hobbies. My girlfriend has been supportive too.

 

I hope you've all been doing well. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm at 144 weeks this weekend. Work has gotten better. I worked yesterday because I felt behind on a project and feel better now. I'm very tired today and haven't been really entertaining to my girlfriend or anything but she said she understands. I feel bad about it though. 

 

I'd like to nap more today and then try a hobby. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Emotions are very tough to deal with. Sometimes i wonder if i should pre plan my dialogue regarding a subject to make sure I don’t go off course.

was your weight loss intended? 

Edited by Amphibian220
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 8/1/2021 at 2:08 PM, Amphibian220 said:

Emotions are very tough to deal with. Sometimes i wonder if i should pre plan my dialogue regarding a subject to make sure I don’t go off course.

was your weight loss intended? 

Weight loss was intended. I gained weight while depressed. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Today I started studying for real. I did 2 hours of studying and created a plan to study every day until October 22 for the exam. I did a bad job studying last time and I will make up for that mistake. I owe it to myself to put my best foot forward. I'm determined to work hard again. Something I haven't done in years. 

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I was pretty depressed earlier today but i realized I'm very thirsty and tired. I took a nap and drank a lot of water and I feel better. I think it's a reminder to stay on top of daily maintenance and it can maybe limit depression triggers.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

19 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

I was pretty depressed earlier today but i realized I'm very thirsty and tired. I took a nap and drank a lot of water and I feel better. I think it's a reminder to stay on top of daily maintenance and it can maybe limit depression triggers.

Ohhh, I feel the same way so often! My overall mood just plummets for (seemingly) no reason at times, and it's quite difficult to pinpoint why exactly I feel that way, but sticking to some sort of routine when that happens has been helpful, too. Focusing on some simple physical activity like washing dishes or chopping wood for the fireplace helps me listen to my body better, and that, in turn, helps me figure out if there is any physical discomfort when I'm feeling depressed, such as being thirsty. 

 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

5 hours ago, Pochatok said:

Ohhh, I feel the same way so often! My overall mood just plummets for (seemingly) no reason at times, and it's quite difficult to pinpoint why exactly I feel that way, but sticking to some sort of routine when that happens has been helpful, too. Focusing on some simple physical activity like washing dishes or chopping wood for the fireplace helps me listen to my body better, and that, in turn, helps me figure out if there is any physical discomfort when I'm feeling depressed, such as being thirsty. 

 

It's tough to think about in the moment but I try to remember the phrase HALTED

H - Hungry

A - Angry

L - Lonely

T - Tired

E - Environmental (work or home stress)

D - Dehydrated

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm frustrated how one day at work is bad and one day is Ok and then one is bad and then one might be good. I don't want to switch jobs but I have an interview tomorrow at another firm. I hate how isolated our firm is. I think there are too many introverts in this firm and they don't communicate at all. It's frustrating.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Good luck with getting another job! Quality of workspace is very important to me, too, and I try to avoid as much as possible to have to work with people who do not communicate well. I'm currently switching up jobs because of this too, and so is another family member, believe it or not lol. 

Hope you can find a place which will ensure growth and communication,

Po

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 8/6/2021 at 7:51 PM, BooksandTrees said:

It's tough to think about in the moment but I try to remember the phrase HALTED

H - Hungry

A - Angry

L - Lonely

T - Tired

E - Environmental (work or home stress)

D - Dehydrated

Oh, this is super awesome, thank you so much for sharing!

Po

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I had a 2.5 hour interview today and it went very well. I'm actually excited about what the company has to offer. I just get so depressed even thinking about my office. I turn on the computer and feel like I'm not part of the team. I feel isolated. I understand the virus did that to everyone, but it's been like this since before the virus. My boss never talks to anyone unless it's for something due immediately. It's just a robotic environment and I constantly received grief for being the slightest bit of colorful. They suppress you there. It's terrible. Let's see what happens.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

@Booksandtrees Have you witnessed a change in the environment during your term there? Was the communication like that from the start or did it deteriorate over something?

I have paid a visit to my former employer and turns out she has enrolled on a postgraduate course. She told me she was tired of her work because it gets super intensive and its hard to go on for years in that kind of environment without learning much in the way of new skills.

On another note: I was driving in the rain right now and saw something really cool: A guy driving his bicycle on the motorway. He was wearing only a pair of fitness shorts and was soaking wet head to toes. He looked at me for a brief moment and that guy just didn’t care about the rain. He was the happiest man in the world. He didn’t look silly, he looked tough and mean. In fact he was enjoying the breeze while doing his favourite thing.

 

To heck with dreams, I’m going to go shadow box in the rain!

Edited by Amphibian220
  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

5 hours ago, Amphibian220 said:

@Booksandtrees Have you witnessed a change in the environment during your term there? Was the communication like that from the start or did it deteriorate over something?

I have paid a visit to my former employer and turns out she has enrolled on a postgraduate course. She told me she was tired of her work because it gets super intensive and its hard to go on for years in that kind of environment without learning much in the way of new skills.

That's basically what's going on with me. It's still the same atmosphere as when I quit 2 years ago a couple dozen pages back lol. I just can't take it anymore. I appreciate my independence but I also think my mental health is taking a hit here and I'm not really learning anything. I just go through the motions and don't feel like I'm part of the team and it is unmotivating.

5 hours ago, Amphibian220 said:

On another note: I was driving in the rain right now and saw something really cool: A guy driving his bicycle on the motorway. He was wearing only a pair of fitness shorts and was soaking wet head to toes. He looked at me for a brief moment and that guy just didn’t care about the rain. He was the happiest man in the world. He didn’t look silly, he looked tough and mean. In fact he was enjoying the breeze while doing his favourite thing.

That's awesome. I think physical exertion is really important to our health and unfortunately I haven't moved an inch during this depression spell. I've been suffering all day long. All I've been doing this week is sleeping for the most part.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

That's awesome. I think physical exertion is really important to our health and unfortunately I haven't moved an inch during this depression spell. I've been suffering all day long. All I've been doing this week is sleeping for the most part.

Sleep is good; It's certainly better than sleep deprivation--I would know!

Physical exertion being important for physical health might seem obvious; even walking around outside home can loosen up the body. That being said, I have recently noticed a significant increase in cognitive ability and productivity at work after doing cardio exercise in the morning. For me, cardio can help "clear my head", whereas I can still have unhelpful thoughts at times while walking.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

11 hours ago, Resonant_Shell said:

Sleep is good; It's certainly better than sleep deprivation--I would know!

Physical exertion being important for physical health might seem obvious; even walking around outside home can loosen up the body. That being said, I have recently noticed a significant increase in cognitive ability and productivity at work after doing cardio exercise in the morning. For me, cardio can help "clear my head", whereas I can still have unhelpful thoughts at times while walking.

I agree. It also releases chemicals to fight the stress chemical of cortisol and I think that's what's getting me defeated before I start. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share