Amphibian220

Alex, not everything is expressable in words The first part of your post, when bad habits can be meaningful to us- I think that happens due to fear of becoming great. I can’t explain that in more detail, but next time that I’m under discomfort, I will tell myself to stay strong because I never know what’s around the corner.

I agree that pushing yourself too far beyond your limits, seriously slows you down longer term. But shouldn’t we push outselves a bit over our limits occasionally? You do that in the gym I suppose. You know how they say, if you want a task well done , put it on a guy that has a lot to do? I can say from practice, when this happened to me, all of the crap shyness went away, I pressed so hard to get it out of the way that people helped me with my needs when they typically wouldn’t have. I cut out all the unnecessary shitty steps. If I have just one task in the day, I will ( true for over 15 years) delay it a lot and waste energy before even getting to the main thing. Results and more importantly goals moderate what I am doing, how much I am doing of it, why I am doing it. You said this too. What I really want to learn is how to have a consistent/sustained rise in the level of your strength, focusing ability, confidence and wiser time allocation.

Welcome Wali if all servers were shut down and technology to watch and play applications om screens unavailable, what sort of things would you be doing right now to feel good? Do you mind to write who you are and what are the skills that you have discovered in yourself so far?

Hello and welcome, are you in a competitive sports league? It can be a good replacement for gaming addiction. Cam has numerous videos on overcoming laziness and fear, plus there is a good reading list provided by forum members. James Clear’s Atomic Habits is one I am planning on getting.

You are sorry to leave video games? You should reevaluate your principles. Don’t know your stage in life, but here is what I gather. Do you think gaming life gives you a high self worth, dignity and confidence? How will you be taken by women that you are attracted to? How will gaming life affect your physical, mental health, prospects of becoming a great achiever and worker in your community? Please, no wishful thinking. I used to think I could combine gaming and profession and this was a great self-deception. I’ve read in dozens of journals here that former gamers deceive themselves that the addiction will not affect them.

I can share this thing that may or may not be applicable to you. If you conpleted all your important tasks way too early in the day like you have said (by 1 pm), then there is this question mark of what to do now? If this question goes unanswered, the gaming nature reawakens. I remember watching a football match with my Dad where our team scored in the first 10 minutes of the match. “This can demotivate them” was my father’s comment and this is how it played out. They went from enthusiastic attacking to lazy and complacent defending, they were just eager to end it at 1:0 score and the other team, having noticed this, mobilized its efforts and equalized. Another thing is to find a “healthy” thing to waste time. I used to play airsoft and paintball with my friends on weekends and it was the PERFECT exploit. It was healthy, fun, adventurous and all the rest. No feelings of regret.

WIthout knowing the science behind it, we sort of know our emotions and thoughts to an extent. Its a good thing because it allows us to differentiate between truth and fallacy. With habits I noticed the need for congruency- you have to battle for some time before the habit becomes a natural part of you. Sometimes a habit is broken: it feels mechanical and there is practically no mental involvement on your part. I noticed that the habits you adopted became a natural part of you very quickly which means its the right approach. example of an incongruent habit- a businessman that games during spare time. congruent habit- a businessman that exercises and spends time with his family

No - risk it. Risk makes you alive, you’re landing on new territory. Burn those ships, this will multiply your motivation to win the battle ahead. If you do that you have no plan B, but only to build a meaningful life.

@James Good Social media certainly keeps us connected. The virus endemic makes it toughet to connect in person. Hopefully it is going to be contained soon.

Some romanticism there. You can re-enact those hollywood fantasy films where you meet the (potential) love of your life in a deserted town. What you said earlier is spot on. I prefer to go into mini-relapses (watching films without any serious daily plan) because It makes me think that I will do better long term, BUT if this sort of mini-relapse thing is from not solving a pressing issue, it becomes systemic. So it is better just to anticipate and solve issues sooner rather than later. Regarding working out, I always work out at home and find it a fun activity. But I do agree with you that when you a enter a group there is a lot more peer pressure and desire to perform

Day 1 plan (1) 3 hours revision with conscious effort to memorize material (will self test) (2) exercises as usual, (3) cleaning, (4) going for a walk, (5) Observing stars at night and starting my first star map.

The last couple of pages really confirmed me in my conviction that we need to care about ourselves like 10 times more (speaking for myself). Most addicts slip cause they stop valuing themselves, but everything can be turned around. The issue is that you’ve got to be merciless to your wants to do that. I mean proper cruel towards your body’s wants that can drive down your self worth. So that even the thoughts to do something so foolish perish. Discipline and balance and all that will come with your “cruel” nature- it sort of becomes interesting to do things completely unlike you. Most often I cannot complete my work cause I am going way too fast. I need to sort of be okay doing things at a measured pace. I hope all of this makes sense.

I don’t trust the process, something is off and I have to get into a fight to fix it. I do my daily routines, dreading that the day is too long and I might get stuck without stuff to do. Plus I try to rush things cause I want to get on to the next thing as soon as possible. Hence the quality of my work suffers. I am not used to being alone- I start daydreaming way too much. Hard to admit, I watched short war films today, but I learned something: when I get ill, I prefer to waste time than go to the doctor to fix it. Will have to go now, no way around this.

Ikar, what army have you served in? Could you give some insight as to how good it was for your personal development. Is there an opportunity to develop communication skills or is it way too disciplined and strict for that.

Great that you are doing so many things at once and your reading list tells me you are a keen reader. Something about work, I switched on nature sounds when I was doing memorization yesterday and it helped a lot. It was the sea waves, seagulls and whales and the combination of these sounds is excellent to keep you focused on your work. I do agree how beautiful the english countryside is, it clears your mind of all worries. The thoughts about your future can be overwhelming so I’d say just slow down and keep doing your daily work. Slowing down improves focus and makes the important decisions come naturally.