Amphibian220

I wasn’t questioning your communicative skills at all as its obvious from your post you feel you are well developed in that respect. By becoming ‘fit’ I meant recovering fully from the addiction as you said particular women can be a ‘trigger’ causing you to relapse.

@BooksandTrees Do you think you will eliminate triggers if you reduce communication with women ? Try it out for a week. If you start getting a clear head, good focus and a very good up-beat mood, then you may just continue. You will find the woman of your life, but you have to be fit for that moment.

Shine Magical, have you moved to live in a rural area? Judging by the fact that the nearest grocery store is far away. It is something I am considering. When I see the countryside I get a lot healthier.

@Ikar Intentions really do define whether you get sexual stress or develop social skills with women. If you are meeting to possibly become husband and wife, it does not stress you out looking her in the eyes and talking to her. You may just take a look at her body too and if she is dressed okay (nothing revealing) you are still okay because you know there are prospects for something greater to come along. But if you are just admiring women here and there, sexual stress is the only thing you are going to carry away (nothing in the way of social skills)

Welcome to game Quitters. May this entry become a turning point in your life. I love South Africa, you have given this world some extraordinary men of achievement.

BooksandTrees This is what worried me from your posts. When a man sees women in revealing clothing, he experiences a good feeling followed by sexual stress. The stress comes because by nature a man needs coitus every time he experiences arousal, but he doesn’t get it. Then unsatisfied desire gets pushed into your subconscious. A man can receive dozens of signals like this in one day. A constant life like this can then cause problems for your health. I taught myself to lower my gaze on street etc and just avoid gyms that have women in them. The gym I go to is a martial arts men only gym. I obey this command because I know I will save my health many years down the line.

Actually this is very helpful Alexanderle. Its the negotiation that truly brings out the motivation and intentions in people. the complexity is here: at first he just requested things to have a laugh and it was obvious. But the more serious requests started coming and its not easy to know if he is entirely honest or not.

Jordan, You have my recognition and everybody else’s here who supports you. You have your family and people that depend on you, even your dog. Focus on things within your control. When I read about what a great day you had, I was so pumped I followed through on all of my tasks on that day. keep moving even if it is just a crawl. I am going to have my boxing session now and just pummel that punching bag.

Confront anxiety, but how?! I am caught between two people. One of them requested some help on work that is his responsibility, but the other wants me to reject this opportunity. Person number 1 used to be a habitual bully and just send his requests backed by threats of intimidation and emotional appeal. I dont mind to help in principle, but its just this fact that makes it hard (its politicized because of history). Person number 2 cares about me but actually full on attacks me if I get into any interaction with this bully. The thing is, this bully is my relative and fighting him just strains relations all across the family. I should just come clean and set conditions for the help I’m going to offer, so it doesn’t get stretched. The other problem is that his method is to involve other people if I say no to him, so then everybody cluelessly starts advising to help him. Edit: he just holds people hostage and its really tough to negotiate with him. Whatever choice I take, it will upset either of them.

Yoda way? Who was yoda? I got so angry at my gaming addiction, I picked up the big monitor (they were not flat screens like you guys have now, they were proper big boxes back in early 2000), carried it to a local yard and then looked for a stone. Next that stone blew out the screen of the monitor.

Wish you luck John. Something I did during my academic stage when preparing for exams : 1) memorizing material while walking in the room. This gives you added blood circulation 2) not missing snack breaks. They are important not only for energy, but a break for your brain to process all memorized material 3) doing light exercise (like 10 quick pushups)

Natalie, What is it about ?

I’d really like to change my perception of conflicts, tone and approach. I constantly think I might say something wrong or be taken the wrong way when I’m around people. Noone cares as much as I do. On top of that when someone acts rudely, I’m very introverted and barely tell them that. I used to think that the fight isn’t worth it, but actually it is in my opinion. Some years ago I was mocked by an obnoxious person and ever since I wanted to find him and intimidate him for his abuse. Hopefully this will pass.

Hey Jordan Discovering your life purpose is a constant work in progress. If I was you I would set intermediate goals. When I was 16 years old, I came second in a long distance run competition in my class and felt proud of it. My family was surprised at this. I also opted for some volunteering opportunities.

Netzwerker, What are your new activities? Have you made new connections, found some sport or activity that gives you a sense of development and stimulates you mentally? Just keeping away from games and feeling good about it isn’t going to work. I agree that small success can be an impostor which makes you feel complacent. Take on more responsibility and get people to depend on you. That way there will always be something pushing you forward.