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Vera

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About Vera

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  • Birthday 10/06/1993

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  1. Vera

    Moving on

    Oh, I had my tooth repaired and it's better than it was. My dentist did a perfect job. I recommended her to my colleague. I have no pain in my body except for the teeth pain, but it will go away soon. I'm doing a lot of writing. I have 4 penpals and I'm writing a lot every evening. I REALLY must learn blind typing or I'll spend eternity just typing all these long letters. I also have a good reason to study English even more. I feel restricted because I lack fluidity and freedom when I'm trying to express something more complicated. I'm also trying to determine if I should continue learning and developing in Python or I need to eat the frog and invest myself into something like C++ (and probably math). Since I'm resting today, I will go to sleep earlier.
  2. Vera

    TSL's Journal

    @TwoSidedLife don't worry... Learn from it and move on. Seek real social interaction. Keep improving and don't stop! :)
  3. Vera

    JustTom's Journal 3

    @JustTom hey, showing up and admitting you have problems means you are already commited, even if for a teeny tiny bit. Being busy and doing hard but necessary stuff will help you. Keep going and keep journaling. :)
  4. Vera

    Moving on

    I came home at 21. Really late for me. I was doing my gym routine for around 2 hours and every minute of it was worth it. I had some time all by myself. I forgot everything and just concentrated on technique. I was a bit surprised when I found out I have 40 minutes of cardio before strength training, but I used it to try and run for a short time. Since my knees are weaker than I'd like them to be, I was a bit afraid, but it was okay. I guess I won't stress myself and just use other cardio machines. I wonder what parts of my body will be sore tomorrow... I visited my dentist, and one tooth needs to be fixed, so I have another appointment scheduled for tomorrow. I'll entertain myself with doing some mental work tomorrow, I'll have a rest day and plenty of time in the evening. I started dreaming again. I have pretty interesting dreams, but I forget them as soon as I wake up and start to move around.
  5. Vera

    Moving on

    My weekend ended pretty well. I found some peace and calmness, I'm kind of detached most of the time and it is what I need. I'm sleepy, quite tired from doing absolutely nothing last two days and I miss gym. No sedatives needed so far, and I think the hardest part of all this mess is over. I was able to write in my diary today. All of you who are still thinking 'how a journal can help me get through my detox/quitting', you are underestimating the simple truth of it: getting something out of your head and making it into a structured sentences is an excellent way to understand yourself more and act based on what you've learned. I missed my diary like an old friend. In fact, it is my oldest and most faithful friend. It is me. Good night.
  6. Vera

    Dear Diary...

    @BooksandTrees good luck! I believe you will do everything you want today.
  7. Vera

    Daily journal of a nervous father

    Your story is so interesting! I think you can make a prototype of your board game out of paper, for example, I'm sure you have loads of colored paper, so why not?
  8. Vera

    Ninety Days Worth the Pain

    @Lea you are doing well! That's okay if you make mistakes, you learn from them. The ability to think straight under pressure is a skill and you will learn how to do that with practice. Keep going! :)
  9. Vera

    TSL's Journal

    Hey, I think you should not count this as a failure. You managed to realize what you need and stop. Count this as a win!
  10. Vera

    Onlysoul

    Get better!
  11. Vera

    Moving on

    I suspect it can be a result of stress + sedative. I'll wait some more and if I won't get better I'll visit a doctor.
  12. Vera

    Moving on

    The day was painful. Spent some time putting away things that can trigger my memories, cried hard, but my desk is clean now. I can at least touch my diary again. I've decided to use a new paper for it and I'm pretty excited to try how it will work with my fountain pen. My health is still failing pretty miserably. I have a weird knot in my stomach, I've never experienced something like this before. My body just can't handle it without any harmful consequences. I'm grateful it's not a heart attack. I spent my evening watching some youtube and I don't feel any guilt. I should come up with more useful alternatives though, preferably non-fiction because fiction is almost always equals romance and I can't stand that now.
  13. Vera

    Moving on

    @Catherine17 @Mouxine thank you for your kind words! I'm slowly getting better. Yeah, Mouxine, you're right, I've been with the wrong person. Way too many times, to be honest. Gaming doesn't bother me that much. I have to watch for cravings I might want to try to use as an escape, but I can hunt those thoughts down pretty quickly.
  14. Vera

    TSL's Journal

    @TwoSidedLife your attention is definitely getting better. Noticing small details can be really useful. I believe you will accomplish all of your tasks :)
  15. Vera

    Moving on

    My day was bad. Kept myself from crying by taking sedatives and it didn't help so much. I made it through the day, but I was on the edge of a breakdown. I was lonely, frustrated, angry at myself, hopeless... Didn't eat, had no appetite, I was nauseous and weak and tired. I have slightly raised body temperature, around 37, so I'm sick and will spend all weekend in bed to try and get better. I miss gym, but I have no choice. I hope a long sleep will fix me.
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