Ikar

Day 345: I visited my grandma and my brother after not seeing them for two weeks. It was good to see both of them again. I had a good chat with my grandma and my brother proofread my website and I considered some of his suggestions. I had a light workout (50 pushups and 50 situps) and I attended a uni webinar.

I actually wrote the outline for this reply some 10 hours ago, but I wanted some more input before writing more. I think Glover put it wonderfully by writing something in the lines of this: "A woman needs to know that you are willing to stand up AGAINST her, so that there is at least a chance that you might stand up FOR her in the future." Glad to hear all is good in the hood now 🙂

I wonder if you could correlate that with the success of the members' individual detoxes 😄 Blaming and excuses never get us anywhere.

Day 344: Maintenance day. I did Duolingo, finished "The Red and the Black", cooked a chicken, went for a walk, set up whatever few events for the next week, washed the dishes, cleaned my room, exercised and did the laundry. "The Red and the Black" is an interesting and instructive book. There's ambition, love and psychological warfare.

Hold the line and try to relax. If she wants to be pissed off because she broke a promise, let her. If you back down and she finds out she can push you around (in more serious matters than borrowing a bike), she'll lose respect for you. I've been there and done that. I even witnessed one such fight in the past several days. It's about the principle. I wouldn't expect that the first thing she does when exiting the "psychological warfare" mode is going to be an apology, but you know her better than I do. A funny piece of trivia is that the divorce rate in China spiked after the quarantines ended, because people found out they can't be in one place for extended periods of time. It's impossible to "be together" and "do something together" for days on end without a break. This situation is perfect for determining whether your house rules are in order or not.

It depends on each person's individual risk management and circumstances. Getting out there for those two days was both objectively useful and subjectively fun. I obey the law as it is currently in effect (i.e. I do not throw underground parties), so I meet with smaller groups of people and less often than before. One thing I keep in mind is that most of us are probably going to get it, even if in a way that our immune system handles it no problem. We're going to be fine 🙂

Day 342: I did a bit of Forex, read, did Duolingo and then cycled to my friend who lives some 15 kilometers away. We mostly chilled, talked to each other and took a walk in the forest. I was a bit peeved, because he spent a lot of time on his phone chatting with his girlfriend, but he noticed that and he told me that I have a bad luck of coming to visit him when he's having more a intense period (pun intended) with her. He seems to be stalwart and knowing what he's doing though. We agreed that there needs to be a degree of discipline in relationships that needs to be upheld. I think things would've gone very differently for me if I knew that two years ago. Day 343: I slept over at my friend's. Afterwards, he drove me to pick up my car from the paint shop. It definitely looks better now. I then helped my dad to bring a new TV to my parents' house. Afterwards, I drove to pick up my business cards, banners and then drove to my parents' to visit them after two weeks. It was nice to see them again. I also managed to sell my old bike today. I got home in the evening, had a webinar about geographic information systems and I just chilled for the rest of the day.

Great! I got myself to ejaculate weekly. It also helps that you'll re-adjust to normal-world women around you as porn fades away from your mind. I'd say just do it. I don't even know how would I "practice" writing myself. I just write and if somebody doesn't like it, I'm happy my writing caught their attention for a while. At the moment, I probably write on the GQ forums the most.

I found out that after a week of initial re-adjustment in the quarantine, it helped me to get up at 6:30 with no issues, perhaps because I hardly have any meetings in the evening nowadays. The current situation is actually pretty good in forging new habits and detecting disfunctional ones.

I agree 100% with @BooksandTrees. I always like the positive/poetic/surreal tone of your messages. I hope you will be able to turn this grave diagnosis into another source of energy and motivation to continue making improvements in your life. We have to hope that this disease in your physical body is just a delayed reminder that your previous lifestyle caused you a lot of unnecessary pain and suffering. Keep up the fight.

These days I watch about three episodes of The Expanse a day which is two hours, but I also generally eat during that time. I'm quite happy about my general routine of getting up early (6:30), eating, writing here, Duolingo, perhaps reading a book, overall doing something easy and manageable. At around 10 I can mobilize and get out for a walk/workout and start taking on serious business after noon. I feel I wouldn't be motivated to even get out of bed, if I put in the biggest and most important (most difficult) task of the day right in my face after having breakfast. I found out that I am completely fine working out on my own, my daily rhythm is actually based around it at this point, so if somebody wanted to join me, they would need to be OK with my time-frame of going there before lunch. I think most of the times, I am in the dormitory gym alone.

Day 340: I wrote here, did research into Forex, worked out, took a walk, did Duolingo, read and went to play a board game and have a couple of beers with a few others. I did my homework for the next morning, so I would get up fine. Day 341: I got up later than usual, but I got up at a reasonable hour. I took a walk, did a bit of meditation, worked out, read, worked on my blog and did a bit of Forex. I do feel a bit tired now, but I had a lot of heat the past three days. --- As @James Good pointed out in his VLOG, I also have a hard time working out in my room, but I worked out the past four days regardless, even if all those workouts are shorter than my normal ones at a gym. It works out fine for me to return warmed up from a walk and then work out shortly after. Survive and adapt.

I'm of the opinion that a woman I want to be with needs to be inspirational/have a talent, because I believe I am inspirational/have a talent. It's quite a feat figuring out for myself what do I find inspirational though. Some degree of physical beauty is obvious. Connecting through hobbies is also obvious. But it can be something completely different and leave me stunned for a while. I'm not sure how do you see it as a woman, but I wonder if this is applicable universally. What I realized about dating is that there is always the right person for me, so the question is whether I am getting into the right places at the right time. It doesn't matter whether I am introverted, addicted, manic or whether I see the same 30 people every week or 300. I think the most important thing is to know what my options are and whether I am happy with them. The webinar about social media I saw yesterday, even if it was for the big influencers (with thousands of followers), was interesting and applicable even for "normal people", so I took some notes. I believe dating apps are social media too. I currently operate on a few for a week and I got a few matches, but no conversations. I think I need to re-adjust, so any advice is welcome, at least until this quarantine thing is over, so I can go out normally. I think dating apps are going to become redundant for me after that point, simply because I think the more organic connections created that way are better. I think of my profile as business cards I throw into a crowd of (single?) women. By that point, I do not worry about it anymore. I tried to make it look as good as I could and I got my profile out there. It beats having nothing at least and if nobody's interested, the chances are it's because my business card is shitty (so I have shitty marketing), rather than being a shitty person. When creating my first profiles back in 2017, I literally had troubles finding enough photos with my face, let alone some of them that were at least remotely recent. Currently, all of my photos (10) are taken less than a year ago. I think all of them describe what I do/my identity as well, but I suspect they are all too "rational/factual" and don't pack too much "inspirational/emotional/story" punch. I'm more than happy to share them and discuss this via PM, if anyone's interested. I also think that any dating app is as good as any, as long as you are not running out of people on it, though I agree the demographic will vary. There are specific categories of people, like anime fans, gamers or nature fans. I think there's even a dating app specifically for Christians. The last thing I heard on the webinar yesterday was the difference between the "hunter" and the "fisher" on social media; I wonder if @James Good is familiar with this. "Hunters" actively contact people and try to initiate the conversation. "Fishers" sit there and have people contact them. The guy with thousands of followers on FB can still send a few requests, but mostly people want to contact him by that point. Transposing this to dating apps, I think that is the reason why one study showed that 85% of men get hardly any swipes, whereas the 15% get almost all of them. So once a man is desired by women on dating apps, he is desired hard. Having all this written down, I suppose it's time to get out and try to shoot a few photos of myself 😄

Day 339: I read the book, took a walk, had a short workout, worked with my team-leader on Forex and saw a webinar on social media in the evening. I have to say that yesterday and today, I was full of energy. It could be just that I found meaningful stuff to replace the meaningful stuff I would normally do.

Haha, I started going outside, because the gym on the dorms closed. I think on Sunday I walked too fast, chilled outside for too long and I sneezed a few times the days after. It makes me think what is the true killer in this scenario 🙂