Ikar

I quit games when I was 21. It was a good decision, looking back on it :) Anyway, there's no point in regretting the past. Hindsight is 20/20. The important thing is that you've learnt 1) what needs gaming helped you with and 2) how to fulfill these needs elsewhere. It might take some time to manage that, but it gets better over time. It seems to me you have a good attitude to deal with this. Good luck!

Hey, do you have somebody to help you out with this? A potential colleague or business partner? Or just contacts of people who might be able to help you? Are there any regional agencies that can help you out with supporting the project? I'm just asking to know which direction are you taking this :)

I think parenting is one of those things you can't get ready for and once you're actually doing it, then you hardly ever have time to think about it. So I definitely agree the best preparation is to sort yourself out first, because then you can adequately react on the spot. That's why I am 6 weeks porn free at this point. Maybe I have some other problems too, but then I'd believe it's mostly just about setting priorities. Plus I actually want to be there with the kids. I don't want to get a child and then just work to provide income. My father did that. Now, at age 60, he tasks my mom to convince me to do something for him - instead of telling me directly. I'd even think that was normal, until I met my current girlfriend. I just want to be better than him in this regard. And all this was made possible by quitting games in the first place. You indeed are one of the guys from 2021! Quite a rough time to quit gaming, but there's never THE right time to quit an addiction anyway. 23 weeks is great! If you still get cravings, it's useful to use the "HALTED" method from the guys here on the forum. After those 6 weeks, porn is relatively easy for me to handle now. I just need to remember it's not THE answer to all the unpleasant (or even pleasant) emotions. I have other ways of dealing with emotions. Also, don't be afraid to come back after relapse - I'm writing this for you as much as I'm writing it for myself. The only time you truly give up on yourself is when you stop trying. Good luck!

I somehow randomly got the idea to go through my diary entries some 5-6 years ago, when the coronavirus lockdowns were in effect (March-May 2020 and October 2020-April 2021). Looking back, I'm mostly proud of myself. I made it. Maybe I was too intense sometimes. Sure, I cringe at certain passages. I'm in shock from some others (all the girls - here I am now in a relationship for the last 3,5 years, lol). But I've still made solid progress as a person :) I was really quite experimental, as I had quit games just a year or two before that. Over time, I had decided to follow my heart to teach adults English. I've escaped the clutches of Forex and a second MLM financial scheme. I'm happy I did, because I'm not the type of person to deal with constant manipulation and backroom backstabbing to just sell out my soul for money. I also left behind a lot of other stuff. I decided to not continue in my field after finishing the university. I quit drumming. I also never really picked up martial arts. I also left behind a few relationships that didn't work in a way I wanted them to work. I kept on writing, but mostly just here. I learnt a lot. I'm happy and grateful for that. Shout out to all the old guns who were here during the time: @ceponatia @BooksandTrees @Phoenixking @Icandothis @Empathy @DaBest @TheNewMe2.0 @Amphibian220 @Alexanderle @Tzen1 @PianoLearner @chiliflavor @Bird By Bird @Arthur @JSmith @Pochatok @Jason70 @royal panda And also shout out to all the new guns (yes, new guns, because most of you registered after April 2021, hahaha), who took some of their time to read my entries here: @WilderDaze @Yan @FDRx7 @reader @Heretic666 @RealityOptimizer Time runs quickly. It's been quite a ride. And I'm not leaving yet :)

I have some time today, so I figured why not? Backstory: I've been invested since 2020 (I randomly started literally during the COVID crash) and since 2021 I'm invested more effectively and in bigger numbers. Today in 2026, it's enough to just look at the S&P 500 growth over the past 5 years to see how successful the whole market has been. Maybe there'll be a draw-down, but that's besides the point. Besides, one can't invest without getting the money first. I don't have a bad job to quit or a horrible lifestyle to change. No debt either. No terrible desire to spend on something either. It seems to me the only life-altering decision in terms of money would be having kids. That might give the money some tangible use. If I don't have kids, there's probably no point in saving as much as I do now. I'm not really afraid of being poor when old. I'm afraid of being inactive and senile, like my grandma is now. I'd probably work less though, as I just consider having time off more valuable than money. If I do have kids, I'll pool the money I make at the time in with my girlfriend and the baby. Having babies is still quite a brutal remembrance to how things were in the past (given that birth can't change much by the definition of genetics) and I want to be there to do my part and to actually spend time with the family once I have it. This will probably also mean working less. Having kids is still somewhat scary for me, because you can't walk back on that.

I'm using the template I used the last time. 16/5/26 - 13/6/26 "L" will stand for the (last) plan/notes for this term. "T" will stand for done this term. I added "Future goals/direction" to better reflect on the things I am trying to do and to add specificity. I will copy it and stick it somewhere where I can see it to remind myself whenever I feel aimless. I will also use different colors: blue for newly added goals/habits, green for completed/successful, orange for ongoing/some progress and red for ones I haven't worked on in that period. Books/Reading articles/Learning: L: Started with a book and found out about halfway through it that he was implicated in the Epstein files. Granted its a book about psychology, I no longer consider it valuable. Gonna head to the library again. Continuing with various blogs, mostly on finance. T: I've been reading (financial, but not only) blogs by Financial Samurai and Derek Hagen. I've also started a book recommended to me by my girlfriend on the lack and discrepancy of data on women from a feminist perspective, but I'm having a better time reading the financial blogs still. Possible direction/goals/habits: (Borrow) and read one book until the next monthly report. Read daily (a few times a week). Reading (and crosswords) are a good way for me to relax. Drop a book whenever I don't look forward to reading it. CHECK HERE EVERY MONTH. (While this is technically just a hobby, I like to keep it separate, because it's a big one.) Family: L: So my grandma was (finally and thankfully) hospitalized about a month ago. During one of the "routine" emergency ambulance visits, one of the medics noticed that her legs are in really bad condition, mostly due to poor hygiene. No surprise there, because I had called the emergency back in January because of her legs. She had a surgery in the hospital and they pumped antibiotics into her, but it seems that it's just a matter of time when they're gonna have to amputate her leg. She also had undiagnosed/untreated diabetes for a very long time, which doesn't help. She still delusionally insists that she's doing okay and looking forward to being home in her flat again... I met my brother yesterday for lunch and we had a good talk about his job and other stuff. T: I had two visits to my grandma in the hospital, both with my parents. I'm happy that now she has daily care, though of course the bad news is that it's unlikely it'll ever get substantially better. On a brighter note, my parents and my girlfriend's met for the first time and it seemed to me they had a pretty good time together. NOT: I don't want to get alienated from my family. Possible direction/goals: Work on getting the new kitchen for my grandma. Continue work on maintaining the relationships with my family. Keep in contact at least once a month. Business/English/Army: L: In the end, I got contacted by the company I sent the offer to, so something did in fact come out of it. I updated the price offer asked for a really premium rate this time, because I need to travel to get there. The outlook is good, I have more than enough work at this point. I'll have to make some price increases to reflect that. I also made a partial analysis of the rate of return on the website. I compared the performance of the last 8 months of the old website and 8 months of the new website. The old website "generated" 5 students and the new one "generated" 5 students as well. I also have three active inquiries now. I guess I was expecting more, but granted I also raised the prices and have enough work as it is, I'm not really bothered by that. I had a few army activities in April, including a SERE theory course. T: I'm still in contact with the "price offer" company. If it works out, great, I'll have extra 5-7 hours of work per week for a great rate. If not, I'll have more free time for myself. I win either way! I also sent out the questionnaire for this semester. Nothing else otherwise. NOT: I don't want to have a job that I don't enjoy. I don't want to have a job that is not well paid. Past projects: Copied to a Google Doc to keep this less cluttered. Current projects I'm working on: Website improvement project - since August 2024 - finished August 2025 with some small upgrades in autumn 2025 lecturer trainings - ENG business February-May 2025 55 minutes F2F lessons (+ online reminder too); pricing updates I and one of my FIRE friends organized a teacher/lecturer meeting. Find more teachers/colleagues to share workload with (with or without commission). Areas to work on continually: English table update - check every now and then for improvements. Keep classes at around 15-20 hours a week. Keep asking for reviews or recommendations from students. CELTA colleagues calls. Go through "lecturer academy" + CELTA materials + lecturer course. Exercise/Movement/Health + 10-13 break: L: Managed to exercise 13/19 of my 10-13 breaks. The week before the holiday was weak, as we prepared to leave and I had more social events. Went to a race and got ran 6,2 kilometers in 29:13 minutes - roughly 4:45 min/km. We were active during our holiday as well, but not in the standard way of running or lifting, but we did a lot of hiking and cycling. T: I had the army tests just two days after writing the last report. I passed, but I want to improve on my result, so I'm going again in two days. Managed to exercise 17/20 of my 10-13 breaks. I also dug up my run competition results from the last three years; I'm getting better, bit by bit. NOT: I don't want to become fat. Possible direction/goals: Keep in shape by exercising at least twice a week for 30-60 minutes. Have a session every weekday from January. Start flossing regularly. Incorporate balance and spine exercises. Keep on using the Oura ring to track vitals. Keep having the 1000-1300 break. Social + Personal Hobbies + Free Time (cool things I've done): L: Met my friend, played table football and had a nice holiday in Normandy. We visited many bunkers and museum and even cemeteries related to WWII. T: Had another FIRE meeting, met my friend a few times and attended a pub quiz with a few other friends. We also watched the hockey championship. I also watched a few action and finance films when my girlfriend was away with her family for the weekend. Possible direction/goals: Keep in touch with my friend groups (FIRE, quiz, best friends...). Relationship with my girlfriend: L: Spent time together on holiday and watched some films together. My girlfriend mentioned she'd like to talk and debate with me more often. T: Since I've been off porn for a month, I have to say that we have better sex. I overall think the relationship is in a better place too. We also went to a funny talk show. Possible direction/goals: Make time to talk every day. Keep on working on strengthening our relationship via common activities. Others: L: I felt a bit clueless as we were coming back home from the holiday last week, as if I had no priorities and no goals. This week proved me wrong. I actually felt quite beat-up at the end week, as I plunged from my active holiday of 10 days straight back into work. I have more than enough stuff to do and to work on that are meaningful - it's just that for a day, I felt that nothing was going on. This year, so far I've managed to sock away about 35% of what I made this year, after taxes. I've debated myself on whether I should take more holidays, but come to the conclusion: What would I take holidays from? There's not much point in doing so if I already do what I want and what I need. I've read something on living an international lifestyle - changing countries every few months to avoid personal taxes, but I guess it's not something that would interest me at the moment. Last but not least, I'll circle back to porn. It's been kind of back and forth for the last few weeks, but even months and years. I had some limited success of longer streaks of no porn in 2022 for a few months, no porn in 2024 for a month before the CELTA course (it was very insightful, but also very stressful). I obviously don't do it in social settings and sometimes I'm busy enough to not think of it for days or even weeks. It's not even that I watch porn for nudity and some depictions of sex, I think there's something else at play. After about a week of abstinence, I also feel my natural libido coming back. The issue is, I don't know how to help myself with it. I'm planning to do some research again on how to understand myself better soon. T: Continuing on my musings with money, considering what I've saved up through my work, I feel like I might start giving the money more purpose and intent. I might use it to give myself more free time, but I don't feel like overloading myself or neglecting an important area of my life. Just the balance and spine exercises and flossing come to my mind at the moment. I need to give myself some more time to think about this. @Heretic666 As I wrote above, my relationship with my girlfriend got better after about a month off porn. It's not that I've completely stopped thinking about it, but it's not even been that hard to abstain. In fact, I even managed to masturbate on my own (without porn), which is something I haven't done in a long time. I also feel more energy overall, so I might be getting better sports results. As a side note, my girlfriend and I went to a fertility clinic to check if we're both able to have a baby and the results were positive for both of us. As for battling the company that refused to refund me for tickets for a concert after it was canceled, I got a court order in my favor, so it's going well. --- For thought: Maybe I should just learn to plan better, though just the thought of having some hours of my day scheduled makes me cringe. Oddly enough, I don't get this feeling while planning lessons of my students, normally in bigger blocks. Maybe I should rethink that belief to make me happier. This might change with the late morning exercise lessons. 10-13 change works well. I've had this recurring thought every now and then that I am often somehow prevented from what I want to do in my free time; basically whenever I am not with students or sleeping. No, I just need to stop reading and learning all the time and start doing things. Imperfect action yields results. Information alone is useless. I like these reports, because they take me back in the calendar and let me see if there's something I've missed or something I need to check on again.

Well yeah, that's the thing. My purpose is what I do. My purpose was what I did. We can today argue whether "gaming" was a good purpose for me back then, but it was my purpose back then. A few years ago, I decided to change my purpose and started doing other things. I mean, again giving myself as an example, I think I had a purpose of "gaming" attached to me since being (let's say) 10, but unknowingly and without being able to really choose. If anything, for a long time, I was unable to change my purpose from "gaming" to branch out to something else. But we don't need to get hung up on wordplay and philosophical details 😅 You're right. I think they were all hyper-effective and organized. I also think it's worth noting that they got lucky. They were at the right place at the right time. There have been dozens of Edisons, hundreds of Obamas and thousands of Musks that we've never heard of, because the competition at the top is brutal :) Agreed 😄

You're correct that the right question to ask is "What do I want to give up?" Everybody's answer will be different. I think I also prefer quality over quantity (in the total number of things I'm involved in). Tough I think I have it in the back of my mind to not narrow it down too much, as I remember how it was with gaming, when I had no life outside of it. (Just a clarification - I had these estimates averaged out during the whole week. So, I don't exercise for 2 hours every day of the week, but weekend rides and hikes add up. Same principle with my work, but inverted. I'd also argue that many people don't spend 8 hours working, but 8 hours in the office, but that's another discussion :))

That's the thing, it's about being consistent, but I don't know if it's reasonable and realistic to expect that from most people. If I took your example of spending 50 minutes (I'll make it an hour) per day on an activity, then besides basic biological functions (sleep, food), I can say I consistently do only walking, working, various type of exercise (workout, running, gym, hiking cycling all lumped together). And it makes sense, because there isn't much more time during the average day. Sleep 8, food 2, walking 1, working 5, exercise 2... I'm at 18 hours and I haven't even mentioned hobbies, my girlfriend or hygiene. And those are things that are important too :D Ah, I see, so you probably have an "extra" hour of "sleep" as most people would understand it. I read somewhere you can get used to not having enough sleep over long periods of time. (Basically in the same way we used to play games for hours on end without finding it abnormal.) Though the main thing is whether you feel good during the day which it seems you do :)

Great! Sounds good! You're surrounding yourself with the language (German) and that's the correct way to go. I was rather referring to the trend where people study 5-10 minutes a year or two (just through e.g. Duolingo) and then are unpleasantly surprised that they can't say anything besides very basic vocabulary and sentences. Well, both really, that's why I laid the question in that way :) For example, I sleep about 7 hours and a few minutes on top of that on average, but I'd prefer to be close to 8. Sleep deprivation sucks.

Hey Yan, have you figured out what to do here yet? My students often ask me: "How did you learn English so well?" To which I only answer with a smile: "I started teaching it 20 hours a week." It takes a long time (months, but more likely years) to get really good at a language. It also depends on the destination where you want to take your skills. I besides my mother tongue and English, I manage some basic Spanish (from high school) and a mix of Russian/Polish. I used to use Duolingo in the past, but it's impossible to learn a language in just 5 or 10 minutes a day, it's just too little... Are you OK with sleeping this much/little? I know it's a struggle for some people to manage a balanced sleep schedule.

Hi, I think it may have come to your mind, because I often comment on the situation of my grandma here. Seeing a person deteriorate is disheartening. A relative (or friend) dying "out of nowhere" is a shock, but it allows people to grieve immediately. Seeing the person dying for months, slowly losing control of their mind and body, being unable to help, or even convince her to seek medical attention, due to a weird mix of overconfidence/paranoia/dementia... That written, I enjoyed visiting my grandma and I'm happy and grateful for the fact that she was independent and doing quite well up until a year ago or so. I also think I improved the relationship with my mom over the last few months. Thanks for writing :)

It was tough for me as well, because I've never had it in me to juggle multiple relationships at the same time. I can say I see/saw all of my girlfriends as soulmates. No wonder the breakups were/are difficult. That must've been painful - the first paragraph for you and the second paragraph for her. I've read that hookups are what comes after porn. But good luck getting me to pay for those, when I don't even buy my porn I get what you mean by "it never felt like enough" though. That's why I want to quit. I just know that if porn contributes to the breakup with my current girlfriend, it'll be haunting me into the next relationship and it'll be the same scenario. I see. I had some breaks away from porn, but those were that - breaks. I can't really say I've had multiple years without it since I was 13/14/15. I know I was lonely back then and I was lonely until I was 21/22. I know some people can manage porn AND good sexual aspect of their relationship, but I can't manage that and it would leave me completely exhausted I manage to work out or run most days of the week. I'll try to do what you described, thanks for the tip! And thanks for taking the time to write this.

Hey, thanks for stopping by! I'll start with the second question and circle back to the first. I don't think my long-term girlfriends have ever minded it (me watching porn), BUT I think they minded the consequences. To be specific, I think just my current one has to bear the full consequences. I consider myself having three long term relationships, but the first was even before I started writing here and the second one ended after a few months because of her moving back to her country. My current girlfriend of about 3,5 years had her own addiction she managed to quit about two years ago, so she understands and she's trying to be supportive. As I hinted in the post before, I have a feeling I am less sexually active with her because of the porn and that creates friction, because we used to be more active at the beginning of the relationship. We get along well and are in agreement on most important things of life, but I do think being together sexually more often would help the relationship. Overall, I think I "could afford" watching porn in the past, but it seems to me that I've been unable to bring myself to make it a problem worth solving. I think porn has been with me (in its various forms on a screen) since I was a teenager some 15 years ago when I struggled to find a girlfriend and was a social outsider. Many things are different today, but the crutch from the past, when I had to be "independent", still remains. How did you get out of it, if at all?

I'm using the template I used the last time. 9/4/26 - 16/5/26 "L" will stand for the (last) plan/notes for this term. "T" will stand for done this term. I added "Future goals/direction" to better reflect on the things I am trying to do and to add specificity. I will copy it and stick it somewhere where I can see it to remind myself whenever I feel aimless. I will also use different colors: blue for newly added goals/habits, green for completed/successful, orange for ongoing/some progress and red for ones I haven't worked on in that period. Books/Reading articles/Learning: L: Read up on finblogs again - WCI and Nick Maggiulli. I've managed about half of "Six Easy Pieces" by Feynman, but I'm going to the library to change it up today. Continuing with various blogs. T: Started with a book and found out about halfway through it that he was implicated in the Epstein files. Granted its a book about psychology, I no longer consider it valuable. Gonna head to the library again. Continuing with various blogs, mostly on finance. Possible direction/goals/habits: (Borrow) and read one book until the next monthly report. Read daily (a few times a week). Reading (and crosswords) are a good way for me to relax. Drop a book whenever I don't look forward to reading it. CHECK HERE EVERY MONTH. (While this is technically just a hobby, I like to keep it separate, because it's a big one.) Family: L: Nothing much here. I still go and visit my family and my grandma roughly twice a month. I still spend some time with my grandma, but less. There's just less to talk about (she often makes things up), so I just help her out with something practical whenever I'm there. Other that than, my father and I are embroiled in a (legal) battle with the welfare office/insurance company. We gather documents from medical checkups (my mom helps my grandma with that), producing appeals etc. I also offered my mom to go out for lunch every now and then to support her. On a brighter note, my brother and I had a burger together and then visited the improvisation show. My brother said he liked it, so we might go again :) T: So my grandma was (finally and thankfully) hospitalized about a month ago. During one of the "routine" emergency ambulance visits, one of the medics noticed that her legs are in really bad condition, mostly due to poor hygiene. No surprise there, because I had called the emergency back in January because of her legs. She had a surgery in the hospital and they pumped antibiotics into her, but it seems that it's just a matter of time when they're gonna have to amputate her leg. She also had undiagnosed/untreated diabetes for a very long time, which doesn't help. She still delusionally insists that she's doing okay and looking forward to being home in her flat again... I met my brother yesterday for lunch and we had a good talk about his job and other stuff. NOT: I don't want to get alienated from my family. Possible direction/goals: Work on getting the new kitchen for my grandma. Continue work on maintaining the relationships with my family. Keep in contact at least once a month. Business/English/Army: L: I had to write a price offer after an interview for a company that is looking to start a few courses. Nothing came out of the price offer, but I'm OK with that - I got three new students who replaced two courses that finished, so I'm doing well overall. I also filed my taxes. T: In the end, I got contacted by the company I sent the offer to, so something did in fact come out of it. I updated the price offer asked for a really premium rate this time, because I need to travel to get there. The outlook is good, I have more than enough work at this point. I'll have to make some price increases to reflect that. I also made a partial analysis of the rate of return on the website. I compared the performance of the last 8 months of the old website and 8 months of the new website. The old website "generated" 5 students and the new one "generated" 5 students as well. I also have three active inquiries now. I guess I was expecting more, but granted I also raised the prices and have enough work as it is, I'm not really bothered by that. I had a few army activities in April, including a SERE theory course. NOT: I don't want to have a job that I don't enjoy. I don't want to have a job that is not well paid. Past projects: Copied to a Google Doc to keep this less cluttered. Current projects I'm working on: Website improvement project - since August 2024 - finished August 2025 with some small upgrades in autumn 2025 lecturer trainings - ENG business February-May 2025 55 minutes F2F lessons (+ online reminder too); pricing updates I and one of my FIRE friends organized a teacher/lecturer meeting. Find more teachers/colleagues to share workload with (with or without commission). Areas to work on continually: English table update - check every now and then for improvements. Keep classes at around 15-20 hours a week. Keep asking for reviews or recommendations from students. CELTA colleagues calls. Go through "lecturer academy" + CELTA materials + lecturer course. Exercise/Movement/Health + 10-13 break: L: I managed 10/17 of my 10-13 breaks these past four weeks or so. It doesn't seem like much, but a stomach flu (diarrhea and vomiting) shot me down this week, so I'm taking it easy. I also made up for the rest by spending an active holiday and weekends with my girlfriend, hiking and cycling. Went to the cardiology, dermatology and dental hygienist for routine checkups and everything is OK. T: Managed to exercise 13/19 of my 10-13 breaks. The week before the holiday was weak, as we prepared to leave and I had more social events. Went to a race and got ran 6,2 kilometers in 29:13 minutes - roughly 4:45 min/km. We were active during our holiday as well, but not in the standard way of running or lifting, but we did a lot of hiking and cycling. NOT: I don't want to become fat. Possible direction/goals: Keep in shape by exercising at least twice a week for 30-60 minutes. Have a session every weekday from January. Start flossing regularly. Incorporate balance and spine exercises. Keep on using the Oura ring to track vitals. Keep having the 1000-1300 break. Social + Personal Hobbies + Free Time (cool things I've done): L: Had another FIRE meeting, met my friend a few times, went for hikes with my girlfriend, went to the improvisation show with my brother. T: Met my friend, played table football and had a nice holiday in Normandy. We visited many bunkers and museum and even cemeteries related to WWII. Possible direction/goals: Keep in touch with my friend groups (FIRE, quiz, best friends...). Relationship with my girlfriend: L: Spent time together on hikes, cycling and on holiday. I also created an adaptation of a game I and my girlfriend liked. T: Spent time together on holiday and watched some films together. My girlfriend mentioned she'd like to talk and debate with me more often. Possible direction/goals: Make time to talk every day. Keep on working on strengthening our relationship via common activities. Others: L: Besides battling the government welfare bureaus, I'm also now legally battling a company that refused to refund me for tickets for a concert after it was canceled. We had a boiler change done in our apartment, as the old one leaked. The owner of the flat paid for it, but I think we'll pay for it later in the rent increase :) I used porn only twice in this last month and about six times in the last two months. Not bad. T: I felt a bit clueless as we were coming back home from the holiday last week, as if I had no priorities and no goals. This week proved me wrong. I actually felt quite beat-up at the end week, as I plunged from my active holiday of 10 days straight back into work. I have more than enough stuff to do and to work on that are meaningful - it's just that for a day, I felt that nothing was going on. This year, so far I've managed to sock away about 35% of what I made this year, after taxes. I've debated myself on whether I should take more holidays, but come to the conclusion: What would I take holidays from? There's not much point in doing so if I already do what I want and what I need. I've read something on living an international lifestyle - changing countries every few months to avoid personal taxes, but I guess it's not something that would interest me at the moment. Last but not least, I'll circle back to porn. It's been kind of back and forth for the last few weeks, but even months and years. I had some limited success of longer streaks of no porn in 2022 for a few months, no porn in 2024 for a month before the CELTA course (it was very insightful, but also very stressful). I obviously don't do it in social settings and sometimes I'm busy enough to not think of it for days or even weeks. It's not even that I watch porn for nudity and some depictions of sex, I think there's something else at play. After about a week of abstinence, I also feel my natural libido coming back. The issue is, I don't know how to help myself with it. I'm planning to do some research again on how to understand myself better soon. --- For thought: Maybe I should just learn to plan better, though just the thought of having some hours of my day scheduled makes me cringe. Oddly enough, I don't get this feeling while planning lessons of my students, normally in bigger blocks. Maybe I should rethink that belief to make me happier. This might change with the late morning exercise lessons. 10-13 change works well. I've had this recurring thought every now and then that I am often somehow prevented from what I want to do in my free time; basically whenever I am not with students or sleeping. No, I just need to stop reading and learning all the time and start doing things. Imperfect action yields results. Information alone is useless. I like these reports, because they take me back in the calendar and let me see if there's something I've missed or something I need to check on again.