Ikar

I agree with you. Myself, I begin to trust people when I know that I can rely on them that it usually takes some time, but after that I believe that there are few people that I would do anything for. Haha, I'm happy you took some time to go through my posts! 🙂

Good job! Try it, if you know them in person. I'd argue I just use the social hobby in order to connect with the other person, because overall I think the "factual" things like sharing hobbies are not that important for a meaningful relationship. I think being able to relate to and sympathizing with other people on a mental level is far more conductive (talking about opinions, experiences, feelings) for creation of such relationships.

I watched a video about the components of happiness (in a video about personal finance, strangely enough) and it's probably why Frankl was able to get by the horrors of concentration camps. Feeling in control of our lives by choosing our responses is way more important than the place or stage we are in.

Day 916: I had English classes, researched the Erasmus+ project, rode the bike a bit, wrote my friends, washed the laundry and watched "Lord of War". Day 917: I read some uni papers, worked on a uni project, did a bit of chess, watched some videos about WWII, washed the dishes, read a bit about personal finance, read some of my old texts/notes and started watching "The Wire". --- This is a rare post, as I stumbled upon here after a slow, yet restorative day. I am somewhat physically limited at the moment, as I can feel some pain in my throat, so I didn't even go outside, to the gym or to plant trees at an uni event (which was the original plan for today) and stayed put the whole day. Having this unusually slow day, I decided I'd look after my shelved texts, hobbies and projects which sparked some ideas in my head and was fun as well. I ordered a book I had a good laugh reading over five years ago. I re-watched a video about the relationship money and time have in our lives. I also realized that I have a lot of work to do with my English-teaching business, university, family, dating... but today, I decided to relax, to appreciate the progress and to be grateful for all the progress I've made.

It's an interesting concept to cross-quote myself from a different topic. Some ideas: A thought based on 1): Nobody really cares how many times I lose before I win. Except for me. 2) is a reminder for me to think about this text the next time I'm doing a monthly report.

Day 909: I prepared for my English classes, had a light workout, had a nap, worked on uni assignments, watched a few videos about nuclear energy and environmental sustainability, wrote here and went for a drink and a dance in the evening. Day 910: I worked on uni assignments, visited my family and worked out in the evening. Day 911: I had uni classes and English classes and a social evening. Day 912: I worked out, uni classes, English classes, watched a talk with Sowell about the philosophy of economics, washed the dishes and had a social evening. Day 913: I had English classes, went for a walk, did some shopping and had sushi with my brother. Day 914: I had English classes, watched another talk with Sowell, inflated my bike and went to an English speaking event in the evening. Day 915: Today - TBA. --- I'm in favor of nuclear energy, because it produces only a handful of waste that has to be safely stored. Compared to coal plants that just put the pollution into the air and take a heavy toll in strokes, respiratory illnesses and other diseases. Even the most advanced countries in the world are not able to go full renewable at this point and some are even closing down nuclear reactors to replace them with coal plants (Germany). Insanity. I'm gonna get a passport. If I had a passport, I could've gone to an EU paid trip to Turkey on Sunday for a week with focus on online English teaching. I got to know that yesterday evening. Crazy.

There have been times where I played less and when I was disgusted by gaming and where I felt it's not sustainable and was on and off about gaming. However it's not documented here, because I just haven't relapsed since I started writing the diary here. I honestly feel like my life got a lot better since I stopped gaming and I live by that. I really got 8 hours of free time back on weekdays and 14 hours of free time on weekends. I tried to cut an hour or two from gaming before to study, exercise, do whatever, but it hasn't worked for me and I had to stop completely. There are days where I feel like doing nothing or when I have too much free time, but then I just decide to sleep, go for a walk, have a shower, watch some lecture on YT or do some household chores. I've honestly never felt stressed out by life's events to get me back to gaming and I don't feel a pull to make it a hobby. I also thought gaming was really the thing that kept me from more valuable things - success at work, at the university, in relationships. I actually broke up with my X a month before I quit gaming. I thought very heavily about that. I felt like I had nothing but gaming when I quit gaming. It's like when people quit smoking, because they got a heart attack, but they wouldn't do that before it happened. I think that if you can half-ass gaming while still having decently healthy relationships/work/hobbies, then you are going to do that. Can you get your family/friends to support you with their care and maybe create some rewards for you if you stay away from gaming?

Day 900: I had English classes, went to the gym, went for a walk, went to an art exhibit where my mom had her paintings and attended the English event in the evening for a while. Day 901: I had English classes, went to my car mechanic, worked on a school project and went out with a girl I've met recently. Day 902: I cleaned my room, washed the dishes, visited my family and met up with my high-school classmates in the evening. Day 903: I had a solo English class, worked on my monthly report, worked out at the gym and played billiard in the evening. Day 904: I had English classes, had uni classes, read something about WWII, had a social evening and did some uni reading before sleep. Day 905: I had English classes, uni classes and a social evening. Day 906: I had English classes, watched a talk by Milton Friedman and wrote here/worked on my monthly report. Day 907: I had English classes, collected wood for a BBQ, finished my monthly report, watched a talk by Thomas Sowell and had a social evening. Day 908: I had English classes and went to the BBQ. Day 909: Today - TBA.

Thanks. The swimming pool is not too far from where I live and I've gone swimming before from time to time on my own, but at this point it's easier for me to jump into the gym without any travel time than to go through the hassle of walking/driving/cycling to the swimming pool and making my schedule to work with it. I'm gonna go for a walk/workout today, I went to the gym on Thursday but only for a while.

I'm using the template I used the last time. 10/09/21 - 14/10/21 "L" will stand for the (last) plan/notes for this term. "T" will stand for done this term. I added "Future goals/direction" to better reflect on the things I am trying to do and to add specificity. I will copy it and stick it somewhere where I can see it to remind myself whenever I feel aimless. I will also use different colors: blue for newly added goals/habits, green for completed/successful, orange for ongoing/some progress and red for ones I haven't worked on in that period. --- Active writing (blog/writings/journal): L: I wrote here, though I didn't work on my blog post. I have been encouraged by multiple to write more though and I do like the way I put sentences together, either in text or in speech - it is an art! T: I've been writing to one friend, exchanging a lot of ideas together, however I don't think there's any novel thought in that I could extrapolate from and write here. No progress on my blog. Future goals/direction: Finish Past Authoring and the whole course. Write on my blog. Keep writing in my diary here twice a week. Work on "Breaking Free Exercises" from the NMMNG book. Books/Reading articles: L: I read "The Little Book of Common Sense Investing" by Bogle (personal finance) and caught up on newsletters too. T: I read a part of Solzhenitsyn's "Gulag Archipelago" I wanted to read for a while. Other than that, just the newsletters. Future goals/direction: Continue getting through the newsletters. Family: L: My mom's been on a long-term sick leave for almost a year now. She's gonna be in the hospital for the next three weeks to see if she improves there. Tomorrow, I am meeting my father for lunch and with my brother for sushi dinner. I'm happy they are both willing to help me when I need their help and in turn they can count on me. T: I've noticed that my mom is making effort to get closer to me, however I feel fairly indifferent towards her. I am not sure whether I feel that way because my brother and I learnt as kids to get by without her support to a large extent or whether it's just too early for me to buy into that she's making a turn to become more family-oriented, but I just don't seem to care so far. Future goals/direction: Continue working on bettering the relationships with my family. University: L: The university should start in a week. The dorm is getting busier, as some foreign exchange and even home students have already arrived. T: The uni situation is a lot more interesting now! More things to do, assignments to finish... Some of the classes are fairly interesting and entertaining, the other ones are the same tedium as they've always been. Future goals/direction: Find more sources for my upcoming masters' thesis. Work on the assignments in a timely manner. Exercise/movement: L: The gym was closed since the end of July until this Monday, meaning I only made it there today. I went to the jiu-jitsu classes in August, but I can't make it work with my work schedule too well. I walked quite a lot - the city center is about two kilometers and I am there every other day. I have been thinking about picking up evening Krav Maga courses to have more regular martial art exercise. T: I usually make it to gym at least twice a week, on top of cycling a bit if I have in-person classes and the odd walk if I have more free time. I still feel the back from time to time from sitting too much due to work though. Future goals/direction: Martial art research. Keep in shape. English: L: I'm positive I'm gonna be able to have above 25 hours of classes every week, that is if they do not collide with my university duties. I sent out the mails and the past two weeks have been fairly hectic in communication. T: I am currently working with 20-25 hours of English per week and I'm not interested in taking up more courses, because I wouldn't have the time for them anyway. I'm also meeting my English teacher/friend every Tuesday in the class, so it's perfect to have the inspiration at hand. Future goals/direction: Look into strategies in becoming truly self-employed by skipping the agencies in between. I am going to pursue closer co-operation with my English mentor. I am going to check out a few more seminars on how to run online courses. Women/dating: L: T: I'm fairly positive I am making progress in this area. It's really only about having the guts to say hi and then making the ask to meet. It needs to become the routine, if I want to have some control over this aspect of my life. The end-result doesn't actually matter. And I'm aware I will make mistakes, get myself in stupid situations, get used and whatnot, but it's all in the game. I'm fairly adamant and determined in this. I've done a lot of scouting recently, so I got some "hard data" on a few girls I was interested in. Future goals/direction: Set up at least two dates a month. Men: T: I got rid of the "Social" part of the report and rather added this section on how I relate to men. This is likely to take more time and introspection however. A few guys and I formed a gym group, for which I am fairly happy and they're a good bunch to talk to, joke around and hang out with. Future goals/direction: - ----- Additional thoughts: - ----- SECTION REMOVED - to make the report less cluttered and easier to read.

It's quite an interesting idea. I do not think success itself is the driver most people follow. I think most people want to avoid feeling bad, so they are loss-averse by nature. I don't think I've ever met anyone who likes to lose, make mistakes etc. I think what happens with us in games overall is this: There is a way to eliminate failure. Some games allow for that, others do not. I can't possibly "permanently lose" e.g. a Pokémon Crystal game - if I get beat, I lose some money, but my Pokémons are still the same, nobody takes them away from me and I can always go back to the start and beat level 2 Caterpies and ask for pocket money from your in-game mom. It was more difficult with games like XCOM or FTL, because there was a chance I just lost no matter what I did and because they are RNG games to a great degree, but most of the time my decisions mattered and I could influence the fate of the game-play. The same goes towards online games like HS too - sometimes my opponent got the perfect cards and I lost. And all of the above, I can track pretty well, either through in-game statistics or through spreadsheets, the options are endless. The idea that games provide "constant measurable progress" is in some of Cam's GQ videos. Mind you that too much success (and no challenge) leads to complacency, rigidity and ultimately downfall. There's no growth without pressure. The issue with real life is that it can't be put into numbers very easily. --- To put a real example here, I'm currently making an effort to find dates and a girlfriend. I met a girl last Monday, had a good chat with her for a while, wrote her to meet up and she agreed. Five minutes into the second meeting, I found out she had a boyfriend, yet I didn't just turn around on my heel, as I promised her a walk around the city she doesn't know. I spent some two hours with her, had a good conversation with her, found out she's a good speaker and discussed some views on philosophy and politics. The advice I could take from this regarding my dating life: Be more aware of social situations when I am first interacting with a girl I like and be better at scouting to find out whether she's already seriously dating someone or not. Then again, I got something I wasn't expecting but is valuable as well: thinking about reconsidering some of my life views through a good debate. All in all, it's impossible to answer the question: Was it a success or a failure? Well, It depends on how I choose to look at it.

Day 894: I had English classes and wrote friends in the evening. Day 895: I worked on a school project, met up with my geography group, watched a few YT videos about the great series "The Wire" and watched "The Gentlemen" in the evening. Day 896: I did the laundry, read a bit about Russian history/politics, did the salary paperwork, washed the dishes, watched Kurzgesagt, visited my family, worked out at the gym, read the instruction manual for my car and wrote friends. Day 897: I had English classes, uni classes and went to the cinema to see the new James Bond movie. Day 898: I had English classes, went to the gym, had uni classes and had a social evening. Day 899: I had English classes, cleaned my room, went to the uni for one meeting, biked a bit and got through the emails. --- My back hurts and I don't like the fact. I'm fairly static for a lot of the time due to the online classes/uni classes I have, even though I have in-person classes and I hit the gym often. I'm gonna monitor that, so I don't feel miserable because of it. My mom's situation is that she's on disability pension due to her mental problems for the next three years. I'm gonna talk to her more to find out the specifics of her condition, so I can understand her better.

Hypothetically? It depends what kind of area of life we're talking about. I'm quite an orderly and organized person, but I think I am also creative enough to fill in any few remaining gaps I might have in my schedule. If I find out my lesson got canceled, I might go to the gym, write a message to a friend, clean the room or do something else that is useful. I honestly don't mind doing the same things every day.

I stumbled upon the text file of this report regarding my time usage about a year ago. It made me realize that even though I feel I am the same every day, I certainly do different things over time. It made me realize there is not enough time to do everything and be everywhere. It made me realize what I enjoy and value. For example, I was juggling three jobs the last September and eventually, I got into teaching English the most and it's been my main for about a year now. I could go on about which activities changed, transformed and so on, but I think at this point I am beginning to face a bigger challenge: 1) how to safeguard my free time and 2) how to trust myself I am going to use it well

Despite the fact that the last time I gamed was two and a half years ago, every time I come to my parents' house for anything else than Sunday lunch, my energy and motivation to do anything productive is instantly sapped and I get a permit to just laze around. I can't imagine living there again.