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About seriousjay

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  • Birthday 08/10/1986

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  1. Hi there @Tbunge how's it going? Are you still on track with quitting WoW?
  2. So today I signed up for violin lessons. They start this Tuesday. Yay! I'm also getting a lot more consistent with my writing habit. Overall things are going super well!
  3. I started using some affirmations to reinforce my self-value and self-worth independently from my relationship status. I've never found affirmations useful before but this seems to be working a bit. I'm also being very deliberate about allowing any thoughts regarding my relationship status or fantasies about future relationships to simply play out. I find that if I accept the thoughts freely and recognize that they are not true if I don't want them to be, they almost instantly go away since they no longer have any power over me. Terraria 1.4 is coming out soon and I was thinking of allowing myself a couple hours a week on a specific day (Saturday or Sunday) to play it. I think I'm at a healthy enough point where I can reward myself with that without it getting out of hand. I don't really have anything else that I do for no reason other than pure enjoyment so that's one option. I was also thinking of allowing myself the same thing with Netflix instead. Either way, it would just be a couple hours a week of downtime to balance out all the worky kinda stuff I do the rest of the week.
  4. I think it's positive that you're open and honest about these things. It sounds to me though like you're just burning out. I would try taking a day or two off with zero pressure or expectations to get anything done. Just do whatever makes you feel good and see if that helps! 🙂
  5. So the girl told me that I'm too young for her. This must be something similar to what heartbreak feels like. I wouldn't say I was especially attached to her but I really thought we had a great connection. Oh well, all I can do is focus on the positives from this experience and push on. 🙂
  6. So my date last night went exceptionally well I feel. I'm looking forward to seeing where things go from here!
  7. Whelp, got a date tomorrow evening. Excited to see how it goes!
  8. I've bolded the parts where you talk about anger. If you re-read what you said it shouldn't surprise you that he felt you were accusing him of having anger issues. The bolded parts above are things you described about yourself that are typically associated with anger. This is what @CornishGameHen was responding to, and it seems to be the emotion that you feel is most closely associated to your gaming. I'm not pointing any of this out to make anyone feel bad. Only showing that sometimes we need others to help us identify issues we have that we don't even realize we have. This happened to me when I started reading about the INFP stress response. It wasn't until then that I realized I was chronically stressed out, and can now take steps to deal with it. Now, I'm not saying whether or not you have an anger issue. That's up to you to decide. I would, however, encourage you to try to keep an open mind when people post something. Everyone here is coming from the same place and we are all trying to help each other out. I used to get REALLY defensive (and sometimes still do!) when people began to point things out about me that aren't necessarily a positive thing. However, the things that we get hyper defensive about are usually the things that we need to work on the most. It's really up to you to reflect on what was said and how you feel, and then decide if the thing really is something that you need to do something about. To respond directly to your query, I used to get really angry and selfish when playing video games. There were two occasions specifically while playing WoW that forced me to take a long look at myself and make some changes. Yes, WoW actually encouraged some personal development for me... lol. During a dungeon run I was leading my group around trying to complete my quests and being really obnoxious about it. My guild mates were PM'ing our guild leader and he gave me some lessons about how to handle people. The second time, I was being a real jerk during dungeon runs with my guildmates, telling them how much they suck, etc. (yeah... sometimes I was that blunt) until they finally decided they had enough of me. I wasn't kicked out of the guild but if I wanted to earn their respect I had to become a more compassionate person, and I did. Otherwise, I did a lot of throwing objects around, slamming controllers on the ground, etc. and my brother and I got into a few fights as well. It spilled over into my real life as well. For a long time I was extremely short tempered and very stubborn. To be honest looking back I'm not even sure when all that changed... lol. I just over time calmed down a bit and here I am today.
  9. NaNoWriMo has arrived woohoo! I wrote a modest 275 words last night but they might have been the best words I've ever put together so far. My writing has definitely gotten better, and quickly. 😄
  10. So last night, after reading another article about what you're "supposed to do" when taking pictures for online dating I finally had enough and deleted everything except Match. That one is probably going to end up in the garbage can as well. I KNOW I'm an awesome guy. However, if the world of online dating is such that being your awesome self isn't good enough then it doesn't deserve my presence. Ultimately what I'm looking for is to start a family one day. If I can't find someone who can look past all the superficial garbage and try to create a real connection based on something meaningful then I'm just going to adopt a kid and be content with that. Adoption has been something I've thought about from time to time anyways. Obviously this doesn't absolve me of the responsibility I have to continue with self-improvement and making myself the most desirable human I can possibly be. However, from now on I'm going to be doing all that for the person that matters the most to me in this world-myself. If that isn't good enough for anyone, then so be it. Also, my sentences are way too long!
  11. Bleh. Today was a bit of a rough day and now I can't sleep because my mind has decided to latch on to and ruminate about my relationship status. The more I go on, the more I realize I really need to bite the damn bullet and start cold approaching women. I don't know why it's so hard for me. 😞
  12. For me your mindset is a direct reflection of how you think about yourself. There are some easy ways to improve that: practice personal hygiene, wear nice clothes, walk around with a smile on your face, hang out with other positive people, listen to positive music... Other things you can do that will help you if you consistently practice them: meditation, gratitude, self-love, self-compassion (reframing negative thoughts, ie. "I suck at x" turns into "One day I'll become really good at x") One important thing to remember is that if you're not that positive right now, it's not likely to change overnight. It's something you've really gotta work hard at to see results. However in my opinion everything begins with your mindset so it's extremely important to cultivate as much positivity as you can. Best of luck!
  13. Tonight for probably the first time I went with what my feelings were telling me and did not get a bunch of junk food. I've got to remember to trust my feelings going forward-they already intuitively know what's best for me I think.
  14. There are so many soft skills you pick up during your school years, elementary and high school especially that you don't even realize until you're much older. A LOT of your social development happens during that time-literally years of social interactions every single day. While we can't go back and replay those years, we do have an advantage as adults that we didn't as kids-awareness and maturity and I've found those two things helped my social growth go pretty quickly. Especially since that improvement was done with great intention and purpose. Welcome to the forums Rojo!
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