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About seriousjay

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  1. Hey dude, thanks for posting. I actually ran into a major relapse back into gaming and youtube. Got a lot of stress going on in my life right now but slowly I'm working back towards a healthy place. I've come to the realization that in order to really get over this hump I'm going to need sustained abstinence from everything game related for years most likely. That seems to be the only way the life I want to live will become the "new normal" for me. How are you doing?
  2. Re. the food: I've discovered I'm an emotional eater. Being full or knowing the consequences of my poor eating aren't helping to stop my consumption of junk food. I just have to find a better way to handle stress. I'm sure a significant part of it is also habitual as well. As far as the gaming content, it goes hand in hand with finding a better way to handle stress. I can't really do much about the added responsibilities, so I just have to find a better way to manage my responses. I'll be working with my online counsellor on solutions for this.
  3. Haven't posted here in forever but I figured I'd share where I'm at. Things with my girlfriend are going amazing. Don't have much to say about that. Food has increasingly become a problem and with that so has consuming video game related content on Youtube. I think a lot of it has to do with stress from added responsibilities in my life and still not having great ways to cope with it. The writing and violin isn't helping much and I actually haven't done those activities in quite some time. Maybe I haven't given them enough of a chance to act as stress relief, I don't know. I've also
  4. It comes and goes my friend. You're not going to fall head over heels every time you think of the person you love. Some days you're going to think she's the greatest creation this planet has ever seen, other days she's just going to seem like any other human. I wouldn't worry too much about it unless it's been this way for an extended period of time.
  5. The 90 days is just a goal to work towards. The whole point of removing video games from your life for 90 days is to give you enough time to replace video gaming with other activities that fulfill the same needs. Maybe part of the issue is that people who get addicted to video games generally have significant underlying mental health issues that need to be addressed first and foremost. This is why so many people try and fail I think. Video games are like a drug to many of us. We can abstain for a while but eventually we need the high again and it's only through very concerted effort and s
  6. Alright, well obviously I don't want to discuss anything you're not comfortable talking about. 🙂 What do you feel we can do to help you at this time? Do you have any specific questions?
  7. Don't discredit even seemingly minor events that happen in our lives. If someone prods you with a spoon 1000 times you're probably going to be pretty upset after a while, but each individual poke won't do a whole lot. You say you felt lonely in your marriage. Would you say over that 10 years that there was a significant amount of neglect on your partner's part? Did you ever try to reconcile the issues with your partner, or were you just taking it and accepting their position, even if you didn't agree? I might be wrong but I wouldn't be surprised if your marriage is the reason you turned to vid
  8. Hi Laura, welcome to the forums. It's entirely possible that your addiction is because of an underlying mental health issue. I wouldn't rule it out and if you can make it work I would strongly advise you to speak to a professional about it. At the very least your family doctor. It might be an issue that you've been carrying "under the hood" your entire life and that specific video game you mentioned may have dragged it out of you. At the very least, there are some questions that would be worth exploring, such as if you've experienced any serious trauma in your life (mental or physica
  9. @Zipperhead sorry to hear about your relapse. I wish you well in getting back to where you want to be. My first instinct is to question your relationship with your wife. I can understand her being disappointed that you relapsed but her reaction according to you seems extremely excessive. Why would there be such a huge trust issue because you relapsed? Why would she threaten to leave you because you've shown that you're still human? It sounds to me like your relationship has deeper issues than just broken trust over a relapse in gaming, and I would strongly advise you to talk to her about
  10. It's normal to wake up aroused from dreaming.
  11. Life is 10% what happens to you, and 90% how you react to it. Regressing back to porn isn't a problem if you find a way to bounce back. Every time we fall is a learning opportunity and a chance to become more resilient for when things get hard once again. And they will. One bit of advice: don't feel like you "should" feel like anything. Studying is boring. Nobody wants to study. It's OK to feel that way. You'll do it anyway because passing the exam is important to you, but it's OK to not enjoy the process of getting there. Attaching an expectation of how something should feel or
  12. I'm not so sure. I saw some real progress from you over the past few weeks but it looks like you've slipped a little bit. I used to think like this: that I'm the one who will treat a woman right. I'll do everything for her. She'll never want for anything again. She'll know so much love and affection that she'll feel sorry for all the women out there who have men who treat them like shit. Wanna know who these types of people typically are? Doormats. They're the type of people who have no ambition and do nothing for themselves and treat their woman like a goddess. They are at thei
  13. Sex sells. That's been true for centuries. It's no less addicting than gaming, fast food, etc. It's an urge that most of us have and for many there is a constant need for it. It's just that society worships that addiction.
  14. I think specifically with gaming, it requires one to become completely emotionally detached from gaming altogether. The thing is though if you get to that point, chances are you just won't find any point in gaming at all. You just won't have any desire to do it. That's kind of where I'm at. I'm pretty sure I could game in moderation but I couldn't care any less to.