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3 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

I gotta be honest this reminds me of the advice i give people who try to say they need to reach 90 days or 6 months without gaming and have no goals for the days they spend. Very good advice.

I'm happy I could help. I'm not on dating apps for over half a year now, but I know it's a tool to meet new women if the current situation isn't permitting.

3 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

I think what I'll do is aim at having more fluid conversation on apps, presenting myself in a more appealing way, and going on dates.

If I remember correctly, you landed a few dates before via dating apps, so it's just about getting yourself out there and setting up more meetings. Just remember to be yourself. The rest is just statistics.

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Today was decent. I woke up late again and made breakfast, went for a 2 hour walk, made food, watched TV, had therapy, had my online date, and then sculpted in Blender for about 2 hours. So far t

What a rush! I was trying to sleep and I heard like 5 doors close at like 2:30 in the morning and people running full speed. So I got up and looked out the window and saw two people going through cars

Today I'm 104 weeks or also 2 years on my journey free from gaming. I can't believe it's been this long. I feel like a different person and don't really have the words to describe how much this means

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On 11/14/2020 at 10:28 AM, TheNewMe2.0 said:

I lift weights in my garage. It's a little confined but it's gonna work well enough I think. Go lift some weights in your home like me.

So I'm wait listed on buying weights until December since so many people bought them. Brutal.

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I don't think I want a relationship. I came to the conclusion that I only want a relationship so someone can notice me but I think it's a subliminal message emanating from my soul begging me to notice myself and explore my passions. 

After buying my drums, doing better at work and exercising, I've started to love myself more. 

I was looking for someone to love me so that I could love myself. 

I won't find a relationship until I've built a real relationship with myself and love myself. 

I hate others because I don't fully love myself. I project this hate onto others. 

Done. 

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I had another productive day at work by solving more problems and making progress on other tasks. I'm getting to be in a good spot. 

I had a good therapy session as well and uncovered some anger issues. My drum set comes in 1 week now. I can't wait to play it.

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Today I'm 108 weeks free. I am very tired today. I haven't slept well all week and I honestly slept off and on for about 11 hours today. I'm just gonna do some self care stuff this weekend and just relax and get in a better mood. I was thinking of doing a couple hours of 3d modeling or writing today. Not a lot, just 1-3 hours tops. I feel like I was so burnt out by the end of the week that I ate so poorly. I had ice cream for lunch yesterday. I think it's just my body craving good things. The interesting thing is I wasn't watching a ton of porn or anything this week. I think I was just zoning out and had a major lack of focus.

I'm going to meal prep today to avoid anymore stupid food decisions and just relax.

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Hey BooksandTrees, hope you feel more energized tomorrow! This week has been a lot for me too. About relationships: even though you want to remain single for some time, I encourage you to think about this: Sometimes, you learn how to love yourself by learning how to love others. I don't necessarily mean a romantic relationship- any relationship can help you improve yourself (and the other people within the relationship) with enough passion and commitment.

I thought about relationships that way too, but that caused me to forget how to love others. I learned to treat myself better by treating the people around me better. 

But, this is just my experience. I do encourage you to continue challenging your own perspective/thoughts on relationship management.

Cheers,

Po

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Good to hear you're still staying strong after so long - I'm impressed at the sheer length of this journal haha. Fun fact, you started it on my birthday 😄

Sounds like you had a productive week, it's only natural that your weekends will be more relaxed. Often times giving ourselves some mental space is the most productive thing we can do.

+1 for self-love, too. I remember reading your journal in the past, it was always a sticking point and I love seeing the shift in energy from now since then. Such a genuinely inspirational journey. The diary should be mandatory reading haha.

Keep it up. Can't wait to hear you bash out some killer solos when the drum kit arrives!

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17 hours ago, Pochatok said:

Hey BooksandTrees, hope you feel more energized tomorrow! This week has been a lot for me too. About relationships: even though you want to remain single for some time, I encourage you to think about this: Sometimes, you learn how to love yourself by learning how to love others. I don't necessarily mean a romantic relationship- any relationship can help you improve yourself (and the other people within the relationship) with enough passion and commitment.

I thought about relationships that way too, but that caused me to forget how to love others. I learned to treat myself better by treating the people around me better. 

But, this is just my experience. I do encourage you to continue challenging your own perspective/thoughts on relationship management.

Cheers,

Po

Thanks. I woke up super early today without an alarm so maybe that's a sign lol. 

Yeah,  I hear you on dating. I just think it's too dangerous in America since we're passing 12 million cases of covid19. I'd like to try and wait a little longer. I had some friends and family acquire it through dating and that got me paranoid. 

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9 hours ago, James Good said:

Good to hear you're still staying strong after so long - I'm impressed at the sheer length of this journal haha. Fun fact, you started it on my birthday 😄

Sounds like you had a productive week, it's only natural that your weekends will be more relaxed. Often times giving ourselves some mental space is the most productive thing we can do.

+1 for self-love, too. I remember reading your journal in the past, it was always a sticking point and I love seeing the shift in energy from now since then. Such a genuinely inspirational journey. The diary should be mandatory reading haha.

Keep it up. Can't wait to hear you bash out some killer solos when the drum kit arrives!

Thanks and welcome back. I don't think anyone would enjoy reading my diary in its entirety lol. I ramble on a lot. I think I have to credit my shift to antidepressants to be honest. I'm not ruminating on bad things anymore. Also helps I enjoy where I live for the most part now. 

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6 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

Thanks. I woke up super early today without an alarm so maybe that's a sign lol. 

Yeah,  I hear you on dating. I just think it's too dangerous in America since we're passing 12 million cases of covid19. I'd like to try and wait a little longer. I had some friends and family acquire it through dating and that got me paranoid. 

Oh hey, totally agree with that, COVID is no fun no matter how well or poorly you take it. Stay safe and stay well 🙂

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