championeal

Been a little while since my last post. Overall, things are well and I appreciate @Pochatok,@BooksandTrees, and @WildRiftQuitter for the solidarity here. I'll have to check out the 500 day celebration post in the near future, to keep my motivation up. I share similar thoughts about online multiplayer games generally taking away more than they give. However, I do have a perspective that there is potential value in single player games. Over the past months, I've been in a phase of transition, leaving a job and just working part-time while I figure out what to do next. Generally, I've been interested in computer programming and specifically game development for a long time. However, simply playing the online games themselves always took priority. In the coming months, I'm taking a route that might be called risky by spending time learning about game development in Unreal Engine. So far, it has given me a good goal to focus on, and helping to reshape how I view gaming in my life. I have absolutely no desire to develop the clickbait addicting games, but instead be a force for good in the gaming world, focusing on bringing games that add value to someone's life. I'm unsure at this time exactly what that will mean for the future, but so far it feels right. - Neal

I don't know if it's a reference but your journal title made me think of this song: Fooling Yourself (The Angry Young Man) by Styx

That's a good question. At this point, I can recognize the pattern of how I usually start with single player games, which is fine. Actually, I think if I only played single player or co-op games for the rest of my life I'd be fine. But at some point I convince myself to get back into online multiplayer and that's where the disaster happens. Once again, it starts out alright, but slowly degrades to more and more and more of my time being spent on the game until it's the only thing I'm doing besides working, eating, and sleeping. That is, if I get enough sleep, or even eat anything remotely healthy, or am even slightly focused at work. So, I'm trying not to let myself fall into that same trap. I already find myself thinking about playing some single player games, which again, I think would be okay. But I gotta remind myself where that path leads.

You have no idea how reassuring it is to come back and see you still on here posting. Much love. Appreciate you being here

Hey GameQuitters Friends, Day 1. It's been awhile. A long while. Not saying that I was game free the whole time, but times were decent. Not great, but I moved, started a new job. Ya know, it's like as long as things are going alright it doesn't get too bad. I didn't feel the need to full detox until today. My mind is cluttered. Almost feels like it's been in a fog during this most recent gaming binge. I'm sure more thoughts will come out over the next days. For now, I have a quote that stands out in my mind. I've recently started watching The Last Dance on Netflix. I'm a Chicago native and while I was not old enough to remember Michael Jordan in his prime, I still have a faint memory of my Dad purchasing me a Repeat 3-Peat shirt. Sometimes the right thing comes back at just the right time to break through the bullshit. And now, to leave you with the quote. - Neal "I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed." - Michael Jordan

Round 4 - Day 4 Today, me and my family went for a long hike at a state park. Climbed under the waterfall. Swam in the pond. Just a good day spent outside. - Neal

Hello friends, nothing like starting over, again... Round 4 - Day 2 A quote that resonates with me today: A Warrior of the Light knows that certain moments repeat themselves. He often finds himself faced by the same problems and situations, and seeing these difficult situations return, he grows depressed, thinking that he is incapable of making any progress in life. "I've been through all this before," he says to his heart. "Yes, you have been through all this before," replies his heart. "But you have never been beyond it." Then the Warrior realizes that these repeated experiences have but one aim: to teach him what he does not want to learn. - Warrior of the Light, Paulo Coelho

Enjoy the weekend! ☀️

Round 3 - Day 5 Talked to an old friend on the phone today for over an hour. The conversation reminded me just how much I’ve changed in the past years. This helped me to feel better about where I’m at now. - Neal

Yes! This is the home stretch. Reading through your last few posts I can feel your positivity. Keep strong til the end 😃

Congrats on putting in so much time and effort to prepare for these exams. Best of luck!

I agree with @Amphibian220 and also will add that it helps to see how the work you're doing has an impact. This adds personal pride to the work we do. @BooksandTrees I'm not sure what exactly your job is. For me right now, I simply work as a barista serving people coffee drinks. Sometimes I find my job repetitive and boring, because it is pretty much the same work every day. When I'm able to remind myself how important this coffee moment is to these people and see the value in my work, then I have good days.

Round 3 - Day 4 Today I had work and I had more energy at work than I've had for a few weeks now. The only thing I've changed is the lack of gaming so that's gotta be it. As far as I can tell, each time back committing to the gaming detox is easier. My first time quitting was hella fucking hard. My second time was pretty hard. This time is hard, but at the same time feels not too hard. The times I'm talking about are the ones where I really took a long break (a month or more). Not the times where I stopped for a day or something like that. I feel like the long breaks are really where our minds have the time and space to change. I'm feeling sure about keeping with it to give myself that opportunity to change and grow. - Neal

This is my 2nd time back posting on the forums and I definitely remember the names of people who have been on here the same time as me. So yes, while I don't know anyone in person, I do notice and appreciate the people here making the same commitment to not gaming that I am. Good luck with your 2nd time back and journaling again.

Round 3 - Day 3 Today I had a complete day off work and I felt like garbage when I woke up so it was the easiest day to say "fuck it" and game the day away and I didn't do that. So I feel like a winner. Even though I spent hours on the computer just browsing, there is something different about that time spent where it is easier to get up and leave and do something different. Gaming will in a sense trap me to the chair. So yeah, I browsed for a bit off and on, but I also read a bunch and did some drawing and helped my family out with moving some furniture. So overall, like I said, today is a winning day. - Neal