championeal

Round 4 - Day 4 Today, me and my family went for a long hike at a state park. Climbed under the waterfall. Swam in the pond. Just a good day spent outside. - Neal

Hello friends, nothing like starting over, again... Round 4 - Day 2 A quote that resonates with me today: A Warrior of the Light knows that certain moments repeat themselves. He often finds himself faced by the same problems and situations, and seeing these difficult situations return, he grows depressed, thinking that he is incapable of making any progress in life. "I've been through all this before," he says to his heart. "Yes, you have been through all this before," replies his heart. "But you have never been beyond it." Then the Warrior realizes that these repeated experiences have but one aim: to teach him what he does not want to learn. - Warrior of the Light, Paulo Coelho

Enjoy the weekend! ☀️

Round 3 - Day 5 Talked to an old friend on the phone today for over an hour. The conversation reminded me just how much I’ve changed in the past years. This helped me to feel better about where I’m at now. - Neal

Yes! This is the home stretch. Reading through your last few posts I can feel your positivity. Keep strong til the end 😃

Congrats on putting in so much time and effort to prepare for these exams. Best of luck!

I agree with @Amphibian220 and also will add that it helps to see how the work you're doing has an impact. This adds personal pride to the work we do. @BooksandTrees I'm not sure what exactly your job is. For me right now, I simply work as a barista serving people coffee drinks. Sometimes I find my job repetitive and boring, because it is pretty much the same work every day. When I'm able to remind myself how important this coffee moment is to these people and see the value in my work, then I have good days.

Round 3 - Day 4 Today I had work and I had more energy at work than I've had for a few weeks now. The only thing I've changed is the lack of gaming so that's gotta be it. As far as I can tell, each time back committing to the gaming detox is easier. My first time quitting was hella fucking hard. My second time was pretty hard. This time is hard, but at the same time feels not too hard. The times I'm talking about are the ones where I really took a long break (a month or more). Not the times where I stopped for a day or something like that. I feel like the long breaks are really where our minds have the time and space to change. I'm feeling sure about keeping with it to give myself that opportunity to change and grow. - Neal

This is my 2nd time back posting on the forums and I definitely remember the names of people who have been on here the same time as me. So yes, while I don't know anyone in person, I do notice and appreciate the people here making the same commitment to not gaming that I am. Good luck with your 2nd time back and journaling again.

Round 3 - Day 3 Today I had a complete day off work and I felt like garbage when I woke up so it was the easiest day to say "fuck it" and game the day away and I didn't do that. So I feel like a winner. Even though I spent hours on the computer just browsing, there is something different about that time spent where it is easier to get up and leave and do something different. Gaming will in a sense trap me to the chair. So yeah, I browsed for a bit off and on, but I also read a bunch and did some drawing and helped my family out with moving some furniture. So overall, like I said, today is a winning day. - Neal

Like the bookshelf pictures a lot! It's like a real physical progress bar loading across the shelf

I think this is a good approach. If unsure about what to do, we can still use the tools that we know to help work towards the solution. Journaling is definitely something that has been helpful to me also, and I have also been inconsistent. Isn't it weird how the most simple, helpful stuff we won't do sometimes even though it hardly takes up any time in our day?

Round 3 - Day 2 I wrote a poem that I want to share. The writing for me released a lot of grief and is helping me to move on. A Farewell on autopilot I start up my computer boot up league of legends my first game in front of me like a plate finished and on to the next another one another one is this a seven course meal no, this is an appetite you cannot satiate no matter how many courses and plates plates upon plates hours upon hours I ate I played as much as I could devour Sacrificing sleep Myself, my power until I started to feel more and more a coward and even then it didn’t end on and on and on and on it went league of legends was my life but really, was that all I had to live for No I knew, I knew I wanted more but instead I dove deeper I convinced myself that this was the path I’d chosen and the only way out was through it progamer or nothing I was ready to risk it all risk all my time and really, what’s more worthwhile so time I spent day in day out deeper and deeper as my life became cheaper and cheaper what did I value I don’t know I don’t know I didn’t know I had no fucking clue what to do I was trapped, or I felt trapped I felt my only way out was self-injury the self-inflicted pain I gave to myself every day until I finally collapse and even then kicking and screaming I gave the game up for the first time and oh, it would not be the last time because you see now this had meaning to me sejuani and zac the two that had my back pantheon, lee sin the true strength of men these characters no they’re called champions because for a moment while playing they made me feel like a champion but that moment never lasted and so after years of you stringing me along dangling new skins, champions ranks, game modes, etc. in whatever way that I could rationalize coming back playing again league of legends it’s more than a game to me it’s a part of me my destiny my journey intertwines with games played games won, games lost friends made, friends lost classes paid and classes dropped jobs started and jobs lost So what’s the cost? my heart, truly for my feeling is lost my mind, fools me my thoughts fogged league of legends my friend perhaps now we’ve reached the end you were there for me when I needed you but I think our time is through - Neal

Thank you for sharing this, because it is really well defined and helpful to me in recognizing my own patterns. I think I was in the maintenance phase when I prematurely decided gaming was okay again. Now, I need to work to reach that phase again, and then towards the EXIT sign!

A lot of exciting plans, and definitely doable! I relate to the desire for a calm, slower paced way of living.