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Bird By Bird

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Everything posted by Bird By Bird

  1. I still am game-free and have not played any games in I believe it 3/4 of a year now. Sometimes I watch other people play games but I have found that to be cringe. Most of my social time is spent with either Toastmasters or 1 of my 3 Dungeons and Dragons groups. One of which I run as a Game Master, the other two I am players. Ultradian Rythm says performance drops after 90-120 minutes and a 20 minute break is what it takes to win and have better performance. Took this energy quiz and it turns out my physical, mental, and emotional energy all suck while my spiritual energy is decent (how determined you are and how well you stick to your guns). https://energyprofile.perfprog.com/free/ Turns out lacking energy defaults the body into doing easier tasks and ignoring challenging projects. I have a cooler with ice I change out every day to get easy access to fruits and veggies in my room as well as plates and knives to cut the fruits and veggies. I eat breakfast 1 as a light 1 fruit or something then go jog and return to eat breakfast 2. That early morning boost should give me more energy to. I converted a drawer into a standing desk and moved by chair to another room because its healthier to stand. DND is way more fun than video games because you use your creativity to solve problems and not pre-determined solutions. Thinking back on video games it feels like playing with shackles and chains on. DND can only be played with friends meaning once everyone leaves you have to do something else, unlike video games where you can play forever until you drop. Art and work projects still have problems but I hope that doing habits and systems to solve my energy problems and give me high energy will help me be more productive in those regards. The obsession with overworking and neglect of rest and recovery periods make this world sick and unhealthy and I hope the zeitgeist changes. Also I'm NOT coming here every Tuesday. A weekly check-in did help me but now I have other support systems.
  2. Ditto on the phone thing for me. I had to place it aaaaallllllll the way downstairs for my laziness vs temptation laziness side to win out and not phone in bed until 5 am. Support groups are super important in quarantine and in general. What groups have you considered?
  3. Dormant extraverted social side inside me awakened Thursday and I spent the past 3 days excel tabling the benefits of various meetup groups. I attended 2 improv group meetings and 1 meditation group and joined 5 D&D discords. I teased my old friends for liking D&D (and Discord) and now I'm into it - fucking quarantine am I right?! A side effect of this social-mania is my lack of writing productivity, private and personal journaling, and much less 'alone fun' that I enjoy (playing with Legos, photography). Alone fun is super important for creativity because this really good art book told me so and you can feel it that less alone fun means less creativity in general. Calibrating the balance between alone fun and social fun is such a pain the ass. The good news is that all those meetup groups you used to have to drive to you can now go to without leaving your front door. Now I'm meeting up with people in different countries. When Pandemic leaves, I'm going to maintain a balance of online zoom groups and in person meetups. I think I'm about 150 days video game free now. It's the latest 'big victory' I can be proud of since I graduated in '18 or '19 - I don't even remember - 2019-2020 years were such a blurr with that 6-8 months of video game addiction. The social activities have given me so much energy. No wonder I've been feeling drained - trying to recoop energy through only 'alone fun' - I definitely need both.
  4. @BooksandTreeswas not a literal rocket test but a figurative rocket-launch-into-independence but thanks for the sentiment. Speaking of Rockets. I have been thourougly unproductive yesterday caught up in Wall Street LOSING 2.3 BILLION+ to Reddit WallStreetBets. Unprecedented historical event that has never happened before. Uniting everyone against fatcat billionaire hedgefunds. That's the Age of Aquarius for you.
  5. I have a hard time believing its possible that you've never hated anyone before starting your job but if that is the case then I'd say its a major improvement because you're working through and acknowledging hate as a human emotion instead of repressing it. Those new age hippies naively think they can repress all the 'bad' emotions and live in manic land all the time but they always get gipped in the end. Human nature. Its just too bad those self-help gurus ruin so many peoples' lives, including yours and mine, before they learn how to truly love themselves, warts and all.
  6. I'm sorry for you that you had to suffer, and are suffering, such abusive behavior. It sounds like you need an intervention. Have you spoken to his parents? Can you count on them to help you? What about your parents or family members? Can you call them and ask them to go to you and have your back?From what I understand this is your house so you may need marriage therapy or a priest/minister if you belong to a religion or a lawyer. Kicking you out of the house to play games 24/7 is as bad if not worse than online gamling addiction or smoking weed every day. You need support.
  7. 3 important months on the path of recovery to a better life. I'm happy you're being honest about your feelings, rich, and that you've taken the first step to experimenting with life game-free. Of course if you do relapse, most of us have including me who relapsed a bunch a few years ago even before finding Game Quitters community, that is a learning experience that you can use for next time. Keeping a forum journal really helps with the cravings.
  8. The embarassment of NASA's Artemis Hot Fire failing proves we are still in 2020. A summary of things to come. I also had a failed "rocket launch" this week that put me into a funk MOOD. 2020 technically hasn't even ended yet because year of the rat lasts from Jan 25 2020 to Feb 11 2021. Hypothesis that I lacked energy because I did not have enough fun for the past 2 weeks. This week I scheduled dedicated fun time with legos and piano improv. We'll see if having more fun times improve my energy or not.
  9. That sounds like a fun and interesting experiment to try @Amphibian220. While more expensive than normal food - I think the additives they put in MREs to survive hostile conditions and keep soldiers in fighting shape may show improvement in your life. During your research, you might hear about stories like the Vomelet but don't be fooled because its actually super tasty and given an ironic name as a joke.
  10. Sounds harsh. Looks like returning to a weekly or daily journal here might be good for you because journaling is introspection work.
  11. Jan 8-12: Slept before putting away computer on some days. Sleep schedule shifted again to me waking up early anywhere from 12 am to 4 am and then going to sleep after 6 pm. Mom sometimes woke me up to eat dinner then I would sleep from 12 to 1. Sometimes she would cook dinner at 10 pm sometimes at 4 am in the morning. All productivity has taken a backseat to introspection of myself and issues and the 'why's of doing what I do.
  12. Looks like things are in flux for you. See you after your phone detox.
  13. I use substitute addictions. Healthy? No. Truthful? Yes. We all find ourselves acting like this sometimes on the path of recovery. Instead of playing games, I would binge internet browsing: reading articles, webcomics and memes. When I limit my computer time, I default to addiction #3: compulsive masturbating. When I get tired of that I go to sleep. Freedom from games gives me about 40 hours of free time every week. Gives me enough time to exercise with my folks in the morning - way better than when we just lived in the same house and did nothing together as a family. I also clean my room slightly more often and cook slightly more often. I'm more aware of my habit patterns and have been journaling about them more often. I keep a public journal on GQ and a private journal. I also have more time to write and play the piano. Sunbathing is nice too. Just got to wait for noon when the sun reaches through my window and shines right on my bed. Vitamin D helps against Covid-19 and other stuff. From time to time, I play with lego or transformers. I make them move like characters from a video game. Quitting video games might make you fall back on a substitute addiction. That's a common thing that happens on the path of recovery.
  14. This is why I instapot pressure cook boil all my veggies and barely cut them. Like rip out those lettuce leaves with your bare hands and snap those carrots in two. We spent a lot of time gaming in the past instead of living and boredom is one of the ways we pay for it. Now that games are gone its up to you to live with yourself or distract yourslef with something else.
  15. Experiment. You are a researcher after all and researchers do experiments. Stop gaming for 90 days (or 30 days or even just 1 week) then go back to gaming again and compare your productivity, health and general quality of life. Let us know the results either by daily forum journals or weekly reports or a post after your no game experiment is over.
  16. Each person reacts differently to different things. Some types of games are less addictive to some people than to other people. If chess remains a small part of your life and is contained then it could be treated as an exception while you detox the rest of gaming but if you find yourself playing longer and longer hours of chess and neglecting your health then it becomes a problem like other games. Experiment and tell us the results. Personally, I don't see any value in chess as opposed to physical sports or exercise where you move around. Or as opposed to socializing at social clubs, charities, and parties (that we can't really do anyway until after pandemic but some of them still continue on Zoom). Or as opposed to studying any type of art from drawing to writing to dance to computer animation where you are involved in creation as opposed to chess which is just performance. Or as opposed to increasing your knowledge and intelligence by choosing to study math, religion, DIY woodworking or other skill-based or intelligence-based learning. Sure if you're really good you could become a grandmaster get some money out of it, and maybe indirectly increase your intelligence in other fields (when you could just directly study those fields itself) but even then I still see it as useless.
  17. @BooksandTrees @royal panda That's the most likely reason. I explained to mom that dad was angry because grandpa fell and it took her a while to connect the dots. "Oh that's why he was doing that." Then, Dad came downstairs with a big smile and manic energy because he was so excited to shovel the snow?! Talk about mood swings. I should clarify that mom does do her part around the house, she just takes so long to do anything because PERFECTIONISM means veggies are chopped perfectly or every plate is hand washed five times before going in the dishwasher OCD type-shit.
  18. The card game thing is up to you whether or not to count it but it sounds like you already made up your mind. It depends whether that behavior leads into video games or timewasting in general. Well I used to be addicted to solitaire and freecel before I got a computer that could run better games and those were addictive so it really depends on your gut feeling about whether that demo card game counted or not.
  19. Friday, January 1: Realized version 2 of my computer schedule (only use 2pm-12am) caused me to sleep until afternoon and stay up late at night. Experimenting with version 3: 9am to 9pm. See if that improves my bedtime. Did stretching exercises with parents in newly cleared out exercise room. Grandpa fell down and hit his head. Uncle who takes care of him said he is alright for now and just has a bruise. Saturday, January 2: Dad angry. Picking fights with mom because she is slow and lazy and unreliable. Yet he was okay with her laziness for YEARS. When Grandpa dies, my family will lose its last decent adult because everyone still alive right now is a piece of shit in one way or another, so I can understand why dad would be angry.
  20. I notice you've described 'comfort' in a negative light. Some forms of comfort, like gaming and youtube binging, are addictive and bad for you. Yet living a life of many decades, maybe the next 70 to 80 years, with no comfort whatsoever sounds much like hell. There are healthy types of comfort like cooking and eating a meal, walking in the woods, drawing a picture, napping on a sunday afternoon, and looking in the mirror while exercising, and many more. All of these have the potential to become addictive if done too much. Comfort is a discovery and an art in itself. Growth is one of many possibilities and yet is marketed and fetishized more than the others. Most of our problems today, like obesity, corporations abusing employees, and cancer, are caused by too much growth. In my experience, God punishes us when we refuse to take breaks by cursing us with burnout. Its about finding the right timing of situations when it is the right time to grow and situations when it is the right time to chill and be comfortable.
  21. Felt conflicting feelings about Apollo Legend's suicide. I enjoyed a few of his videos. I haven't thought about him for a long time until I heard the news that he offed himself. A part of me feels glad that I left that scene. I wasn't able to sleep last night until 10 am. Cut family members' hair. Going to eat cake and later make some dough for New Years Bread. Happy New Years everyone.
  22. @GamingWidower You have 2 options: 1. Enabling 2. Not Enabling If you choose to 'not enable' then you can be honest to your wife about her unhealthy behavior and your disaproval of it while also understanding that she is an adult and can make her own choices. You can choose to be patient or impatient. Change is sometimes fast and sometimes slow. You can read the case studies section of game quitters and see if you can find other spouse stories for more ideas. https://gamequitters.com/blog/case-studies/
  23. I'm not sure where this happened but diagnosing a 4 year old like that is illegal in some countries because of the permanent effects of drugs on developing brains and the majority of mentally ill children are acting out their parents' deviations and not their own. The personality isn't even fully formed at 4. I'm sorry that you suffer because of this. I have to remember that kids back in the old days weren't given iPads in the crib. My cousin was barely even one year old and he was given a big iPad. His dopamine receptors will definitely be burned out.
  24. Really sucks huh. Whenever Nostalgia gets ahold of me, I remind myself of the horrible times I've had gaming, bullshit deaths, lag, loading screens, grinding, running through fields of nothing. Anti-Nostalgia is a great solution.
  25. Your desires exist and shitting on yourself won't make them go away. All humans and animals have desires but mature humans choose whether to act on those desires or chose to not act on them. Whatever. Focus on reality around you happening right now. Not sci-fi future trillions of years later. You are alive and it is your duty to live.