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BooksandTrees

Dear Diary...

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No hard feelings, I've had plenty of rough bouts myself, I am better and grateful for them. Nice list there :)

I used to people-please a lot without thinking about it, part of how I was raised. There are a lot of people like that there, actually. At some point I became self aware and hated it so much I started disappointing people on purpose all the time especially if it was someone who thought could take advantage of the old me. Neither any good because both allow people to walk up and get a reaction out of me, what I needed was firm boundaries. That is still a work in progress for me. 

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@BooksandTrees do something about your apartment, it's not good at all. If you can't, move out. It's not the last one apartment available. 

Vegan diet is honestly not a good choice. Maybe as a way to ginger things up, try new food, but not a long-term solution, way too strict and missing many nutrients. And food allergy is very serious, do your tests asap BEFORE you do anything with your diet. 

Would you keep a diary? If yelling gets things out of your system, you can do so by writing(typing) them out on a regular basis. 

If you read a bit about skin care, you'll discover that you need 3 steps to keep your skin in good condition - clean, tone, moisturize. I saw a lot of benefits from using night cream as well, so there'll be day cream and night cream. You'll also need peeling (gentle one based on acids, not a scrub, apply  once or twice a week) and maybe couple of masks if you want to have some fun looking at yourself in the mirror 😄. Clay ones are very good, last a century. It can be tricky to find cosmetic that your skin likes, so don't forget to test everything for allergy before you buy.  Also, pure 'organic' hair care products made my hair dull and dry, and negatively impacted my skin, so use with caution. 

Your plan looks good, especially self-care parts. Be patient and persistent, stick to your plan, things will get better.

 

 

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On 11/22/2019 at 4:46 PM, BooksandTrees said:

Happiness has kind of turned into a blurred line for me.

I can't tell if I'm just tired. I started the week strong and got obliterated by work. I worked 50+ hours again and I've noticed it. 

I'm angry, getting resentful toward others, holding hate, not sleeping well, etc.

I don't have fun at all. It's just been such a stressful year and I think the only month I've been happy has been September maybe. 

I feel very empty. There's tears coming out of my eyes but I'm not crying. I'm just struggling a bit. I just dislike everyone and everything. 

Hi!

I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I feel like we all cry a lot. Most people I know cry everyday. I think it’s a symptom of the society we live in. I mean we are so disconnected and yet at the same time so overexposed. 
 

I wish I could find my tribe of people. Those who would have my back, those I could turn to when times got rough. From life experience I have learned that people will be there for you when things are going great. And the minute the s$&@ hits the fan,  all your “friends” are gone. 
 

Mostly I have learned to trust myself and the higher power I believe in. 
 

I too am very analytical and think and think and think. When I started meditating I felt a lot better. My meditation teacher taught me to see a thought as a cloud in the sky, and just let it pass your awareness without getting attached. 
 

Just want to say you are not alone, you are loved and you have a purpose. I hope this helps my friend. 

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2 hours ago, Icandothis said:

Hi!

I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I feel like we all cry a lot. Most people I know cry everyday. I think it’s a symptom of the society we live in. I mean we are so disconnected and yet at the same time so overexposed. 
 

I wish I could find my tribe of people. Those who would have my back, those I could turn to when times got rough. From life experience I have learned that people will be there for you when things are going great. And the minute the s$&@ hits the fan,  all your “friends” are gone. 
 

Mostly I have learned to trust myself and the higher power I believe in. 
 

I too am very analytical and think and think and think. When I started meditating I felt a lot better. My meditation teacher taught me to see a thought as a cloud in the sky, and just let it pass your awareness without getting attached. 
 

Just want to say you are not alone, you are loved and you have a purpose. I hope this helps my friend. 

Thank you. It's hard times for all of us and hopefully we can overcome and succeed. 

I feel like my situation would improve if I could buy a home and get to a place where I'm undisturbed by others or structural flaws with my apartment or home. I'm not sleeping well. 

I think what people say is true about having 3 to 5 close friends for life tops. It's hard to find people in life who match with your style of life and personality. These past few years have really changed my concept of humanity and connection. 

Something has to work out sometime, right?

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Today I overcame some disappointment and made the day better. A strong improvement from yesterday. I couldn't sleep due to vibrations and wanted to watch porn to clear my mind and feel better from the stress of being tired. I didn't. I got out of bed, walked around, and read some stuff for a while until I fell back asleep.

I then was about to get angry after waking up late and "wasting" my day off again, but I didn't. I made breakfast/lunch, cleaned my apartment, started my laundry, and drank water. I then spent 2 hours creating a weekly exercise routine. I make many excuses for not exercising, but most of them are just from poor self confidence, embarrassment from being in the public and potentially messing up, and being alone in public with anxiety. I am going to stick to routines which take no longer than 45 minutes per day. I attempted this in the past back in February, but failed because I was going there to meet women and my commute was so terrible that I didn't find any improvement in my life. I also got pissed off that the routines kept changing on a daily basis due to the program I was subscribed to. 

I don't like change. Changing my daily life is tough enough let alone every workout as well. I need something structured and consistent until I feel more comfortable with exercise.

I spent a few hours going through old mail, shredding it, sorting it into things I need or don't need, meal prepping, and cleaning more of my apartment. While doing this I listened to @James Good's podcast where he interviewed Gabe Deem about porn addiction. It was very helpful and I'm going to keep trying with quitting porn. 

I don't feel as overwhelmed now. I think I just want to slowly do hobbies and adjust my schedule over time. My life is not as bad or disastrous as I make it seem when I panic. I think porn and gaming make you want to get instant gratification and seek fast change. This leads to anxiety. I don't have bad issues and want to enjoy my time. Quitting games has helped with this and brain fog, but right now porn is another major detractor for me in that regard.

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On 11/24/2019 at 2:27 AM, BooksandTrees said:

Thank you. It's hard times for all of us and hopefully we can overcome and succeed. 

I feel like my situation would improve if I could buy a home and get to a place where I'm undisturbed by others or structural flaws with my apartment or home. I'm not sleeping well. 

I think what people say is true about having 3 to 5 close friends for life tops. It's hard to find people in life who match with your style of life and personality. These past few years have really changed my concept of humanity and connection. 

Something has to work out sometime, right?

Hi!

I know you can! When I first started here, I remember reading your journal and things were going really well for you. You have hit a bit of a rough patch, but the puzzle pieces will slowly come into place. 
 

I don’t know who designed apartment homes, but they are the absolute worst living situation for people. My son runs across our apartment floor with his ball, and our neighbor starts banging on the ceiling!!! 
 

Living in a place where you can sleep and have a quiet calm space is a priority. When we are tired, our whole mental perception is skewed for the negative. Are they fixing system that is causing so much noise? I really hope you get some good sleep soon!!

 

Yeah, the whole friends things I am up in the air about.  Your right.... a handful of close friendships that you can have deep meaningful interactions with would be nice.  
 

I truly hope you are having a better day and that you are a little less lonely.  We are in this together. 

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@BooksandTrees glad to hear you're doing better! Gym is not a place where people are going to pay lots of attention to you, unless you know them already or talk to them regularly. Don't worry, start small and enjoy 🙂

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Thank you for the replies. I am having a much better day and appreciate the well wishes. 

So I have some interesting news to update everyone with regarding my living situation. It turns out that multiple people are now complaining about this issue. I was given the following options:

  1. $500 credit towards my rent (I pay $1,680) so it's not even a third of my rent for 5 months of disturbance off and on.
  2. $500 towards movers who can move me into a new apartment unit within my building.
  3. Break my lease without penalty ($6,720 fee typically) and move to a new apartment.

I was given 3 apartment options to view. I viewed all 3 and they all vibrated. Not happening. I have a tour of a 3 floor condo tomorrow that is 1,300 square feet and only $1475 per month. I'd save almost $2,500 in rent each year and have a shorter commute so I'd save $3,000 and have more space with nobody living above or below me. Only one neighbor in the end unit. 

I'm going to try and get this apartment. It's 2 bedrooms and has a basement and a washer and dryer in it. There's also 3 decks and a yard with the woods nearby. 

In other news, I woke up at 5:45 AM and did a full workout. I had a much better day. I'm still "behind" on work, but at this point I am almost done with this last project so I'm confident and also not super stressed about that.

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Yes! 

See if you are experiencing something, you can be sure you’re not alone! I am so glad for this turn of events. This new condo sounds beautiful!!! And the having nature nearby would be amazing!

 

Let us know how the showing goes!
 

I believe in good things coming for all of us!

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Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I'm very thankful to have the support of this forum and that I've been able to make connections with people online to help me grow as a person.

I visited this apartment and it was terrible. Very disgusting on the inside and needed lots of work. It's kind of frustrating to deal with. Here's an interesting twist, though: I asked my former landlord for her permission to use her as a reference because I might be moving again. She told me that she'd let me live alone in my former apartment from December to May because of how difficult it is to rent out in the winter and she trusts me as a tenant. 

This is huge. I absolutely loved that apartment. I found that apartment in 2016 and messaged her multiple times and somehow got the lease. It is a 3 bedroom house on a lake in a beautiful town. It's 10 minutes from my office. I love the community and loved living there more than any place I've ever lived.

The only reason I moved out was my two roommates. I was having issues living with them that I've noted in previous posts. I thought maybe I could move home and save money to buy a house, but living at home drove me insane as noted in previous pages as well. 

I could live here alone and potentially find another roommate to split the rent in April. I'd love to live here for another couple years if possible. I miss it so much.

The dilemma is do I really want to leave this apartment I'm in now? I don't hate it here. It's absolutely beautiful with new amenities, a great management staff, it's quiet *so far*, and utilities are not expensive at all as it's extremely efficient.

The negatives to living here is that I'm in a city that's extremely dangerous. I don't leave my apartment unless I go shopping in another town or go to work. There's lots of gangs here, drug addicts, homeless, etc. It's not safe to walk around as you get mugged easily. Not to mention the biggest issue: building vibrations. The building vibrates sometimes when the heat or air conditioning turns on. It makes me motion sick. If I'm even slightly stressed out I can't phase out the vibrations and start to freak out and get dizzy. Others have complained about it and it's difficult to live with. It doesn't happen every night. It's just maybe 1/3 to 1/2 the month that it happens.

Cost Comparison:

Current Apartment:

  • $1700 rent
  • $300 in utilities/cable/renter's insurance/bills
  • 30 miles from work = gas every 5 days at $30 per tank

Former Apartment:

  • $1500 rent
  • $300 in utilities and bills
  • 5 miles from work = gas every 15 or so days, sometimes 20 days at $30 per tank
  • need to find a roommate in May as rent will increase to $2500 or more

I'm enjoying living alone, but I miss living with a friend as well. I don't think I'd want 2 people living with me, but maybe 1 works.

Any thoughts from you all? It seems obvious to choose my old one. My question is, am I being hasty? 

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It'd seem like moving is a good idea, but do what makes you happier. Humans are bad at making objective comparisons anyway 😄

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I'm going to move back to my old apartment. I miss it a lot. I'm tired of being motion sick here. It prevents me from doing any hobbies in my apartment. I just get dizzy and try to lay down on the couch. Then i just watch porn to clear my mind and relax until I sleep. I haven't been doing anything in my apartment because of this. I'm constantly tired, dizzy, nauseous, and frustrated. 

I'll have 5 months to find a roommate after this. If not, I know I'll find a new place and be a survivor. I always survive. I refuse to lose and will not. I'm also getting very interested in animation again. I realized I didn't enjoy doing the hockey content. I think I just want to animate and stop trying to do these crazy big projects until I'm skilled enough and know that I enjoy it. I was doing hockey content because it required less work and I was stressed. I just want to create funny things and be funny. Time to stop lying to myself.

Goals for the upcoming year:

  1. Move back to my old apartment
  2. Study for the exam if my application gets accepted
  3. Pass the exam or apply again
  4. Stick to my exercise and hobbies
  5. Give animation a real chance
  6. Quit porn
  7. Continue to make friends and maybe it leads to a girlfriend
  8. Relax more and stop having to be on the move or change. This year is too difficult and it cannot be sustained. I'm losing my sanity

For some reason this song comes to mind:

 

Edited by BooksandTrees

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Today I'm 58 weeks away from video games. I'm spending the day with my friend working on some hobbies. I think this is what I wanted for a little bit. 

I'm going to pack the rest of this week and just try to get through everything. I'm very frustrated that I have to move. It's one of those funny things when people ask me why I'm never happy with where I'm living or why don't I buy anything or decorate? Because I'm never in a permanent spot. Everything I do is always temporary. I'm ashamed that I even bought a couch for this fucking apartment. Now it has to be moved out in only 5 months. 

Moving so often is a burden because you don't enjoy the possessions you own. You feel like they're a burden to you. You start to hate everything around you. You know the moment you feel comfortable it will be all over and you have to start over again. It's not even worth feeling comfortable where you are in life. This kind of mindset has its repercussions obviously, like constantly pushing forward and never being in the present. This makes you feel like time is flying by and your life passes through you faster than normal. Time is constant, but your perception of time can make your life longer or shorter than others. I hope to one day make my days be longer and enjoy them. 

I already have the next 6 months locked away to settling back into my old apartment, studying on and off for my exam, taking the exam, and then either getting a roommate or moving again. There's no time in those 6 months to date because I don't want to be emotionally involved with someone during this crucial moment in my life. They're just going to distract me and be selfish. I don't have time. My exam preparation is an 8 hour class each weekend for 2 months straight. There's no way I find a woman who understands that and doesn't try to use it against me that I'm not spending time with her. I don't trust it at all. Even if she was fine, my own distrust towards other women makes me paranoid enough to worry about it when it's not even happening.

For my own sanity, I need to remain single while I'm studying. I will make no attempt to find someone until summer. Let's see how this goes!

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Today is the day I have to decide whether I stay and hope the apartment gets better or leave and go on my own again. I don't always recognize these vibrations in my apartment, but they are there. They clearly exist because I've written about them since July. I haven't gotten used to them and they make me feel sick after a while.

I'm just so defeated by this whole process. I'm tired of not having a home. I've become so detached from this apartment. I haven't bought groceries in weeks. I'm just so depressed and tired. All I've been doing is watching porn and TV when I'm home. It's so frustrating. I don't want to watch porn anymore! It's pissing me off so much. I feel like such a pathetic idiot. I could quit video games, why can't I quit this? 

I feel like everyone needs a vice. Even the guy who quit porn and games on the gamequitter's podcast was vaping. I feel like you can't actually quit habits without replacing them with another. You're either on your phone, playing games, smoking, drinking, watching porn, masturbating, chewing gum, or something to deal with how fucking frustrating life is at all times. 

I haven't even unpacked fully in my current apartment because I stopped liking it after 4 days. I got dangerously depressed in July this year because of it. I had just endured that bull shit with my mom being a psychopath, quitting my job, then getting my job back, and trying to find a home. 3 days into my new home I was getting motion sick to the point of almost throwing up and being so dizzy I'd be disorientated. It reinforced the belief I had that life is always going to suck for me and I couldn't escape. I battled through that depression and didn't relapse with video games. 

It's very easy for me to just look at this year and see how difficult it was and just give up. Why do I need to keep having such hardships? I swear to god there are people not facing hardships. It makes me think I'm overreacting to the vibration issues, but I'm not. I have evidence of myself feeling sick and being unhappy about it. God damn!

My only way through this is remain neutral and honest to myself and stop asking why and just ask what to do next. I have resolve and strategy.

  1. Move back to my old place
  2. Study there and relax for 6 months
  3. Find a new roommate or find another housing opportunity even if I have to pay an extra month of rent at a high cost to buy some peace.
  4. Make sure I start relaxing and living life a little better. No more career obligations outside of work like this studying crap and moving. I don't even think I want a relationship because it's just going to be stress I don't need. I need an easy year.

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Tonight has been terrible. This might be a multi post night. I apologize if it annoys anyone, but it helps me cope with stress. I'm renting a 1,100 sq ft apartment and can't even stand anywhere except a tower of rubber floor mats stacked 3 inches high to lower the vibrations in my building. It's shaking so bad I get dizzy immediately. I can't fucking take this anymore.

I accepted the offer from my old landlord and I move in 7 days. I might ask to move sooner because she'd let me. This is just terrible. I literally can't move. I am disoriented, dizzy, nauseous, and pissed off.

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16 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

Tonight has been terrible. This might be a multi post night. I apologize if it annoys anyone, but it helps me cope with stress. I'm renting a 1,100 sq ft apartment and can't even stand anywhere except a tower of rubber floor mats stacked 3 inches high to lower the vibrations in my building. It's shaking so bad I get dizzy immediately. I can't fucking take this anymore.

I accepted the offer from my old landlord and I move in 7 days. I might ask to move sooner because she'd let me. This is just terrible. I literally can't move. I am disoriented, dizzy, nauseous, and pissed off.

Hey, keep going, you'll get better. You need to hold on for couple days more, Matt! It's not annoying, it's your place, feel free to write everything out. 

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I had an odd dream last night and I decided to write about it after reading @goodvibes recent post about his dream searching for porn and his pmo experience. First I want to say great job for making it 27 days. That's unbelievable. I've only gotten 16 days in my 2 years of trying.

I had a dream last night that I was in a summer camp with all of my friends from college, high school, work, etc. It could have been anyone in that dream. We were all my age and I just saw them all accomplishing things without me. I wanted to keep up with them. One of them was with me in the locker room one day and we started a conversation about how much better our lives were now than they were before. The topic of quitting porn came up and he said how much more productive he was after giving up porn. We even gave each other fist bumps after saying we don't watch porn in the mornings because it totally ruins your day.

At this point I woke up frustrated. I came home tonight and was thinking about how I had nothing to do. I come home and want to do something, but don't do anything. Remember that urge you got when you'd leave work or school and you knew your favorite video game was there. You almost sprinted to the computer/console, turned it on, got the game loading, took the fastest shit you've ever taken in your life, grabbed a snack, and then played for hours. 

I don't have an adrenaline rush or enjoy life like that anymore because of how I get depressed. My body thinks I'm exhausted after work. But I have lots of energy right now. My mind gets all depressed and tells me it's too hard and I can't do it. I should just masturbate and then watch TV and repeat the next day.

I can't do that anymore. I keep wasting my time regardless of how much my apartment shakes or my mom yells at me or anything. If I'm going to achieve anything more in life I need to reach another level of responsibility. I want to learn how to 3D model because I have cool cartoon ideas I keep throwing aside. The only way I'm going to learn this is by trying. 

I gotta try. I gotta get going on this. I don't want to keep waiting and then blaming things in my life for never accomplishing my goals.

I want a great body, I want to 3D animate and make videos both real life and cartoon, I want to have fun and make more money off of the things I love doing. I can't tell you how much my day gets derailed from watching porn. Porn and masturbation makes you tired after a while. You get an adrenaline rush searching for porn, then you jack off as fast as possible because you have been teasing yourself searching for this time, then you finish and get depressed. You didn't actually enjoy the sexual feeling you had. You just hurt yourself physically and mentally. Now you can't sleep because of winding yourself up at night, but you also ruin your motivation if you do it in the morning.

Fuck this. Fuck being controlled. I'm tired of being controlled. Video games controlled me and I am better without them. Porn controls me. I'm fucking tired of this. Fuck.

Watching women online does nothing for me. How does it benefit my life? It doesn't. I'm only hurting myself. This is pissing me off.

I don't need porn blockers or these stupid apps. I quit gaming without blockers. I even quit gaming with my consoles still in front of me. They're still in front of me. I look at them like they're low class pieces of shit and know I'm better than them.

I'm taking this fucking approach to porn. I'm going to war on porn like I did with gaming. Fuck this.

I'm tired of being pathetic. 

Edited by BooksandTrees
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2 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

I want a great body

Attached, some collective training wisdom I've found while learning calisthenics, no doubt can translate well into any routine. Here are hyperlinks to videos in the screenshot. Thanks for sharing journal entry, relates.

3 RULES YOU NEED TO KNOW When Starting Calisthenics | 2018

5 THINGS I WISH I KNEW When I Started Calisthenics | 2018

5 TRAINING TIPS I Wish I Knew

DO THIS EVERY WORKOUT For Consistent GAINS | 2018

HOW I STARTED CALISTHENICS – CHRIS HERIA | 20181511430220_Screenshotfrom2019-12-0219-09-15.thumb.png.1bbe961d8943b46f5a3864ce6edc1ff0.png

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I have the day off from work due to snow so I'm going to try and learn some 3D modeling techniques. I want to own my own media studio in a year. I keep putting it off.

I'm only 40 minutes into the class and I've had the urge to watch porn or sleep at least 30 times. This is what happens to me. I do something challenging in my home and feel the need to just sleep or watch porn. Last year it was game, facebook, porn, sleep, repeat. I've gotten rid of two of those. I'm going to be patient with myself and not go insane. When I get urges I'll battle through them. I'll stay engaged in my activity. When I get tired of the activity I will go and meditate for a bit or walk. No naps.

I switched all of my utilities over to the new apartment. 

I had a major meltdown while doing this. I'm extremely angry that I have to switch. I'm very fucking bitter about the people who caused me to move so many times and the situations I've been in. I honestly want to fucking destroy something right now. I think many of the people in my life are pathetic and weak. It pisses me off. I'm tired of being around pathetic and weak people. Bad friends, fake friends, empty family relations, fake people in social situations. It's all trash.

Porn usually helps me calm these thoughts, but I'm not fucking doing it. 

I'm so angry about how expensive this move is and this year has been in general. I did receive a bonus today which covers all my moving and rental fees for a while so this was a major improvement. I keep editing this. I gotta stop.

Edited by BooksandTrees
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One step at a time. 
 

When we do anything new the mind sees it as danger; it will resist change at all cost. This is why transformation is so difficult. I have this quote... it’s quite silly but helpful, “little by little, a little becomes a lot”.  Can you work on the 3D modeling techniques for a small time every day?  Maybe 15 minutes a day as to not get overwhelmed?

 

So sorry about your move. Moving is just a pain no matter what. I end up getting rid of so much stuff just because I don’t want to pack and move it. But that is awesome about your bonus! Maybe it’s a sign that this is meant to be.... or maybe it means nothing. It’s all about our perspective I guess. 
 

You’re going through so much right now, it’s ok to be sad, angry, upset and bitter. It would be weird if you did not feel that way.  We have to keep doing the next thing, the next moment. 
 

Proud of you!

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I respect your ability to be honest if you think things are shitty. Just make sure you don't use your anger too much too consistently, otherwise the stress will kill you.

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Today was interesting. I asked for work from my managers because I finished about 6 projects last week. I had nothing to do yesterday so that's why I stayed home. Out of no where I got like 7 projects with some being due soon and others being due later on. I developed new ways to do a few of them and I think I'm excited to get them done. I really enjoy feeling important and coming up with innovative ways to solve problems and design our infrastructure. I really do like my job and take pride in it. I get sad when I have no projects to work on because I feel useless.

Does anyone else feel this way about projects? Whether it's work or hobbies I feel very useless if I don't have something to do. It makes me sad because people don't think I'm fun I guess. If I hang out with friends I'd love to be working on a project or doing an activity with them. I want to paint pictures, play board games, go bowling, shoot pool, rock climb, play a game, work on a cartoon, make a video, cook something new, etc. I don't really enjoy traveling. It seems like the only things people my age like doing. They just talk about their travels, go traveling, and then just talk. All they want to do when we eat food together is talk about themselves or the next place they'll travel. I haven't met anyone interesting who enjoys building, drawing, art, reading, crafting, sculpting, painting, etc.

They make me feel like I'm boring sometimes, but I'm smart enough to know they're the boring ones. When you lead a conversation by just talking about what you're doing and where you're going, cut people off when they speak and one-up them to talk about how great your travels are then you're a very vague person. I have yet to meet anyone who has a lot of depth. It kind of bothers me. I always love to be interactive and doing something interesting. That's why I get so fucking frustrated with people. "LeT's CaTcH uP aNd HaVe LuNcH". It's just the typical beer and burger talk where you summarize your life.

FUCK 

I'd rather you come over my house and paint something with me. Let's make a comic strip or just build something. I need to be doing stuff. I get restless and demoralized if I'm just lounging around TALKINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.

I'm very good at being social. I don't think it's difficult to be social and meet others. I'd consider myself in the upper 1% of conversationalists. I just don't talk all of the time because it's a waste of time completely. I want to work on challenging activities and make achievements. 

My ideal woman would be someone who wants to do these activities with me. I don't want to just eat food, drink, have sex, watch game of thrones, orange is the new black, scroll on instagram, and then do cliche bull shit everyone does each season. "We ski in the winter, go apple and pumpkin picking in the fall, go to baseball games in summer, and run 5ks in the spring". That's a mundane life to me. 

I want my girlfriend or wife to come home and build legos with me. I want to cook a crafty meal with her. I want to paint, draw, animate, design something, build something, or make clothes. I want her to teach me things and I can teach her things. I want to work as a team. We can watch a TV show sometimes, but damn, I don't want to just struggle. 

Edited by BooksandTrees
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It’s good to know exactly what you want in a partner. 
 

If I ever date again, I would like to find a man who is open to doing acro yoga; that should limit the field really fast!

 

Have a beautiful day!

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9 hours ago, Icandothis said:

It’s good to know exactly what you want in a partner. 
 

If I ever date again, I would like to find a man who is open to doing acro yoga; that should limit the field really fast!

 

Have a beautiful day!

I say this now, but I probably just want someone who appreciates me and is interested in investing her time in me and lets me invest time in her. lol

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