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Vera

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Everything posted by Vera

  1. @BooksandTrees you might gain some peace once your conditions are better, you sleep well and eat well. Let's hope it gets better when you're settled in a new place.
  2. Our life is the process, so you'll be on the move till your death. What matters is if you have peace inside you, and if you do how can a mere move disturb you?
  3. Vera

    Moving on

    @BooksandTrees I'll get my money back if keyboard won't come but that would be very annoying to wait for a long time and get nothing in return.
  4. @BooksandTrees you're moving to a better place, you just got a promotion! People ruin their lives for all kinds of reasons but you don't need to be angry because they fuck everything up. They're addicted, poor and afraid to change, and their community wants them to stay like that, earn more virtual coins but lose their precious time. Don't touch them if they refuse to listen to you. Don't waste your energy on them. Move on.
  5. @BooksandTrees congratulations! I'm glad your hard work paid off, lots of interesting projects ahead! 👏 @goodvibes I like how his right arm looks - Einstein isn't a common tattoo.
  6. Vera

    Moving on

    First work week after vacation is over. That was tiring, lots of working overtime, but mostly boring. I made nice progress in touch typing while waiting for another pile of documents to come. I think my skill is still pretty low but I'm improving every day. I bought humble bundle of books on programming and data science, it has some projects I'd like to do so I decided to invest in myself. Managed to go to the gym just once this week, should be able to go tomorrow. December is going to be busy but I believe I can still make it to the gym at least two times a week, especially if I prepare everything beforehand. My mechanical keyboard is stuck somewhere, haven't received any notifications about it for several days but that's okay.
  7. Hey, keep going, you'll get better. You need to hold on for couple days more, Matt! It's not annoying, it's your place, feel free to write everything out.
  8. Vera

    Moving on

    @Avnat Netzer Haha, I'm going to leave a short review here when I get i, hope it'll help you! @ismailkanaan thank you for your suggestions! I already implemented some of them and life looks better now. I had really hard time falling asleep last night. It seems than this amino-acid I've been taking made me too agitated. I then decided to take another pill to counter this one and oh my I felt those two chemicals fighting over control! 🙂 I fell asleep but it was too late. First work day after vacation was good. Though my keyboard is so bad I bought another one because my fingers hurt at the end of the day. Honestly, I was happy to be back to work. I felt lonely on vacation, spent way too much time alone. I missed that constant buzz and people going back and forth!
  9. @BooksandTrees I'd break the lease and move out. New apartment sounds amazing, would be great if you get it!
  10. Vera

    Moving on

    Feels great to be back to the gym! Finally! I haven't done much, but I made a step in the right direction.
  11. Vera

    Moving on

    Mechanical keyboard. I've got several coupons so it's going to be cheaper than in the local shop. I had really good morning today. Didn't start to use my phone right away but did useful stuff instead (including massage).
  12. Vera

    Moving on

    My vacation is pretty boring, but I am cool with it. I like calm days and I enjoy taking a break from work. I'm waiting for Black Friday on Aliexpress, wanna order something I've wanted for a long time.
  13. @BooksandTrees glad to hear you're doing better! Gym is not a place where people are going to pay lots of attention to you, unless you know them already or talk to them regularly. Don't worry, start small and enjoy 🙂
  14. Vera

    Moving on

    @BooksandTrees Here it is!
  15. @BooksandTrees do something about your apartment, it's not good at all. If you can't, move out. It's not the last one apartment available. Vegan diet is honestly not a good choice. Maybe as a way to ginger things up, try new food, but not a long-term solution, way too strict and missing many nutrients. And food allergy is very serious, do your tests asap BEFORE you do anything with your diet. Would you keep a diary? If yelling gets things out of your system, you can do so by writing(typing) them out on a regular basis. If you read a bit about skin care, you'll discover that you need 3 steps to keep your skin in good condition - clean, tone, moisturize. I saw a lot of benefits from using night cream as well, so there'll be day cream and night cream. You'll also need peeling (gentle one based on acids, not a scrub, apply once or twice a week) and maybe couple of masks if you want to have some fun looking at yourself in the mirror 😄. Clay ones are very good, last a century. It can be tricky to find cosmetic that your skin likes, so don't forget to test everything for allergy before you buy. Also, pure 'organic' hair care products made my hair dull and dry, and negatively impacted my skin, so use with caution. Your plan looks good, especially self-care parts. Be patient and persistent, stick to your plan, things will get better.
  16. @BooksandTrees no, you don't! And I'm not afraid of you, you won't belittle me more than my family does, so relax. 🙂 Is that normal for your work to take up all your time so you don't have time to bathe? Matt, your work schedule should be humane, you don't have to live at work and sacrifice everything to it. It is NOT good! You hate everything when you aren't selfish to take good care of yourself... You're building your life around things that are out of your control and hating them because they aren't how you like them to be -> your life crumbles. Maybe you're just so tired that you don't want to stop and consider if it's worth your hate. And people don't notice your sacrifices 99% of the time so why bother when they do what they're supposed to? Do something for them out of pleasure, not because you want something in return. You're desperate for some kindness, not for thank you. Please, you need to, you must be good to yourself before you are good to others. Don't post at all if you want, leave the forum if you want, but work normal hours, bathe, eat, sleep, cook, do your hobbies, meet new people and be gentle (don't hate them because they're not perfect, don't take it personally). Make it into a fucking schedule, set is as wallpapers everywhere, write it on your mirror, but do it.
  17. Vera

    Moving on

    So it's okay and I'm not falling apart 🙂 Good, thank you! Been busy watching fishes. Caught myself that I want too much too soon, they barely started taking food and coming out of their hiding place. They're truly gorgeous though. This fish is overlooked by the community in favor of other species, which is understandable but sad. I can't decide if the fish with dark spot on its back is male or female, I'm very curious about that. I believe I'll be able to offer them much bigger tank when summer comes. I read about nootropics. Didn't think about taking any supplements other than vitamins, but I couldn't seem to make myself do anything productive, and it's partly because I didn't feel like my brain is even working. I chose simple amino-acid which is cheap and can be found anywhere. Tbh I can feel the effect. It's 9pm, brain fog disappeared, I feel bit sleepy, but I know I can work for an hour if I choose so.
  18. Vera

    Moving on

    I'm honestly bored. Sooo bored! Didn't get a good sleep tonight and really nothing makes me happy. I have no desire to work so haven't touched anything tonight. Went for a walk, it's been cold and windy. I tried massage, and it hurts like hell. Everyone says to me it should get better after some time (10 times, I've only went through 4) but I'm in so much pain I can't enjoy it. I'm just waiting for it to end, barely making it through 20 minutes. It makes me sad because it's supposed to be an enjoyable, relaxing experience... not for me. 😞
  19. Vera

    Moving on

    My vacation is going okay. Dentist said my tooth should be healing well from now on, CT scan showed nothing weird, so I can relax. I got 7 new fishes, they're called White Cloud mountain minnow, they're living with 4 tiny Endlers, and they're beautiful, golden body and red fins. I had a very sad experience with galaxy rasboras, all 10 died eventually, but these guys are very similar (twice as big though). I bought only 3 at first but decided I want more. My little tank became very lively and fun to watch, there's something happening all the time: Endlers displaying to each other (no females so boys are having fun by themselves), shrimps crawling back and forth, minnows usually chilling above the moss pile or catching their prey on the surface.
  20. Vera

    Moving on

    Haha, that's my mom too. She's obsessed with cakes atm and it's stretching my self-control to have so much sweet stuff around the house. :(
  21. Vera

    Moving on

    I'm curious as well, @BooksandTrees. I don't feel like it heals very well, so maybe CT scan would be a good thing, it'll show the exact reason. I cooked very delicious potatoes yesterday and I really loved it. Since there's enough food for today I'll cook something tomorrow. To be honest, it's a rewarding activity if I do it alone and nobody tries to correct me. It makes me want to try new recipes. And if I'm in charge of meal prep, I can help my mom lose weight. She'll be grateful.
  22. Vera

    Moving on

    @goodvibes thanks for your reply! I just want to go to the gym. I lack socializing and it's a way to be among people, even if I don't talk to them. It's not that expensive, and it's a nice break from home-work-home cycle. I'll check out calisthenics, sounds nice. I want to do back-end work, like server and database stuff, it's just one of possibilities! :) I can digest some dairy, certain kinds of it in small amounts, but it might crash my digestion easily so I'm always mindful of what and how I eat. I saw milk without lactose in the supermarket last weekend, maybe it's worth it to try.
  23. Vera

    Moving on

    Well, antibiotics became something ordinary for me. My gum doesn't want to heal properly, and it means another round of antibiotics. I'm damn tired of it, I feel awful while taking these pills, I can't eat without nausea and I crave dairy all the time, but I can't even digest it. If things go wrong after the socket was cleaned up once again, I have to do CT scan. So I'm trying to fall asleep, I'm hungry, in pain, my mouth is full of blood, and I'm quite miserable. I need a lot of patience to push through next 5 days.
  24. Vera

    Moving on

    Nice day! I'm taking a small break to post something. I found out that doing things is actually very rewarding. I can watch YT for hours and be bored and unsatisfied, but accomplishing even the smallest task from my habit tracker makes my day better instantly. And since I have a lot of time left, I'm going to cross out almost every task for today.
  25. If you do it every day before bed, it's a habit and you crave it because you're used to and your body knows the routine. Just another habit to get rid of I guess... I'm sure you'll find a woman you like. You're handsome, you're well-rounded, happy and cheerful man, and you know what you want, it's going to be okay.
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