Jump to content
SuperSaiyanGod

Super Saiyan Journal

Recommended Posts

I might be repeating myself and it may be boring. But I would really like to kill myself and be done with all this. There's too much stress from everything. This looks like the perfect, permanent solution to this permanent problem. I can't imagine how I could ever be at peace unless I do it. How I would like to be done with all this nonsense.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You shouldn't be alone with these thoughts. What's your situation, do you have someone close to you? You should at least call someone! This won't last. Thinking that this will last is only a part of being in this dark place. Please please get in contact with someone close by!!!

Edited by Zala

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey this sounds really troubling man and i am sorry you are going through this. This way of thinking is your mind and body screwing you. The only thing you can do right now is not killing yourself but reaching out for help. Family, friends or even better professional help like a suizide hotline. People will help you and you deserve to be helped.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I feel the same right know.

Tomorrow there is a chemistry Lab(I don't like it) and I am still not off gaming.

I don't know how to have the desire to stop playing video games on a practical way.

Theoretically it would be to limit phone usage but on a practical level I hesitate to just go without it for 10MIN...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 10/16/2018 at 9:45 PM, SuperSaiyanGod said:

This looks like the perfect, permanent solution to this permanent problem.

Thats because in the state you are now and because you cant think rationally in such state of mind. The thing is that this state of mind is a temporarly thing. I had same experience in my life and we can talk about that stuff. I am not offering you a proposal to be your personal therapist or something , but based on my experience some conversations(in reasonable manners) really help to make the flow of feels and thoughts in your head from ooze which they are in such state of mind into something more consistent.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 This week there took place an event my friends and I have been preparing since February. It was a meeting of all the officials of a large European student organisation I'm in. 70 people from around the continent, 8 days. Even though a few nights were hard, this was probably one of the top 3 weeks of my life. And for the first time in my life I felt like I have a group of friends. Then there was an after party with just the ten of us. We really got close to each other, or at least that's what I hope it is. And I hope it lasts.

But now I have to return to my crappy life, and I feel even worse about it because of the contrast. I just have to survive the next month, I have three large projects which I am panicking about, but they will be over by the second week of December. I don't really care about doing them well, I just wanna survive. 

Edited by SuperSaiyanGod
  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm just happy you're back!! When did you return? Maybe you can give yourself some time to adjust to your new/old routine!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't think I got any rest. Nothing's changed, I still feel overwhelmed by everything. I don't wanna live my life, I don't wanna do all that stressful stuff. I wanna forget about everything. I can't even do the simple things because I'm paralyzed whenever I think about them. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Have you felt like this before? How long have you been feeling like this? Maybe you can go back a bit and see, what changed ...
Sending you hugs.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Starting this moment, the most hardcore week of this year starts for me. Three major projects to do, one by Tuesday and two by Friday. But I'm gonna do it. So, starting now, I don't have time for even a single distraction. No youtube, no movies. No two hours of porn before going to sleep, no sleeping in in the morning. This is something I can do. I'll tell you how it went in a week.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I did it. I've assembled a six person team and we prepared an outline of a large event and sent it to a contest from which we're might get the funds to see it through. It was pretty hard, but I had a lot of help from more experienced people. I also had a great team.

I've finished one of the smaller projects, the other one is by this Friday, not the previous one. So I'm gonna finish it by the end of the week and then have a quieter period.

I'm having a bit of trouble controlling my eating. I eat to much pizza and waste a lot of money on it. Otherwise, I feel stressed out but pretty okay.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@SuperSaiyanGod The way you describe life, it sounds like everything is stressing you out. Is it possible for you to reach out to someone in your location to help you with evaluating options to make your life less tense? You deserve peace and calm, you deserve happiness and joy. The negative emotions we all experience are useful in that they are warnings that tell us to take some action. In this sense, your stress is an indicator that you need to make changes in your life for more balance. You aren't alone in feeling overwhelmed, but be sure, once we get used to life's real circumstances and stop avoiding it all via gaming and other mind numbing distracting activities, we become more and more capable in dealing with it all and dealing with it well. 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×