Jump to content

NEW VIDEO: I Quit MMOs and THIS Happened

Super Saiyan Journal


Recommended Posts


7:40. I didn't fall asleep until well after 23:30, because my new roommate was moving in and doing some noise. But then I slept well. Oh well.

I feel very similar today as I did yesterday. But I'm a bit more motivated to doing stuff.

I don't get any real pleasure or satisfaction from gaming. I think I'm going to stop. I don't really feel ready. And I have no idea what I'm going to replace it with. So for now I'm going to make a rule of no gaming until 12:00. if I don't count the morning routine, it should be only aroudn 3 hours every day. And I'll see how it feels.

So I guess I'll start separating it into:

Day 29 of sleep experiment

Day 1 of gaming experiment

Day 457+ of eating experiment

And of course I'm not counting days of success, but days of attempt.

However, I think it might be the case that the next chapter of this operation isn't going to be about gaming, but about finding a job. That's because that is the second most problematic area of my life. The first was sleep, which sapped my motivation completely at the very beginning of every day. The fact that I don't have a job and never really had one gives me a lot of stress, anxiety, and feeling of being worthless. And feeling of being late. So it might be that I'll put the gaming experiment on hold for at least a month after I start the job experiment. That's because my rule (and one everyone should have because studies support it) is to only work on one thing self-improvement-wise at a time, and give that one thing at least 30 days before I try something else.

Link to comment
Share on other sites


8:35. Woohoo, day 30! I believe I've already written a longer report some time ago, I don't think much has changed. One thing that's important is that being at my parents' was indeed a great boon and since I returned home it's been harder.

The trick with putting my phone away from bed so that I have to get up immediately as I hear the alarm works every time.

Today I slept until 8:00 (actually woke up earlier, around 7:45, and kinda knew I wouldn't fall asleep again) because I couldn't fall asleep until after midnight I think, and that's probably because I slept between 14:00 and 16:something yesterday. I was just very sleepy. I also didn't feel like doing anything except reading in bed. For an hour I was able to fend off sleep, even didn't feel sleepy at all when I was lying on my stomach. But then I kinda fell asleep without really realising it. I did feel andger and disappointment, but I also felt no longer sleepy. So I don't really feel bad about it anymore.

I need a feelings chart.

I've decided quitting gaming this way isn't really a good idea. Instead what I'm going to do is start building positive habits for activities I can use to replace gaming. Yesterday reading felt very nice. So the first one is going to be reading. I'm going to set a goal of reading an hour a day. This shouldn't be too hard, and it'll definitely make reading much more enjoyable since it'll help me stop forgetting what I'd been reading before.

So sleep 30, reading 2, eating 458+

As for eating - if I'm losing .75kg every week, which is what it seems like, I've calculated that I only need 12 weeks to get to 80kg and another 16 to get to 70. Assuming the rate stays the same. I find the fact that getting to my goal of having normal weight (80kg) is only going to get three months if I keep the right habits VERY motivating.

I don't think I had that goal before, back when I started and I weighed 114kg, but now it's realistic, and I think it'll be helpful to have the goal.

Link to comment
Share on other sites


7:20. Forgot to write yesterday. Only remembered in the evening. Yesterday got up at 8, same reason as before, but the day before I'd only slept for maybe 30 minutes. But I had the worst sleep in weeks, I'm not sure I slept more than 50%, if even that. So that's why I set the alarm to 8.

Today I got up at 7:00, quite easily. I don't feel like doing much. I forgot to buy rolls yesterday and today everything's closed. So I'll have to figure something out with breakfast.

My morning's aren't going well. I usually get up early, then play video games or watch porn for some two hours, and only when I get really hungry do I start making breakfast.

It's as if all I wanted to do was fill as much of my time with gaming as I can.

I think that's why I should stop gaming cold-turkey. But I don't really want to, nor do I think I would succeed.


Evening edit: 22:11. Today all I did was play video games and watch porn. I'm deeply uncomfortable with the fact that pretty much the only thing I care about is to make as much time for gaming as possible. Just squeeze in more gaming: before breakfast, before going out, before going to sleep. And I don't like how my bed time is slowly but steadily moving later into the evening. 8pm would be ideal, I'd be comfortable with 9pm, I'm uncomfortable with 10pm. Especially if I want to read for an hour before I go to sleep.

So now I'm removing all my video games. They'll still be there on the internet, but at least they won't be immediately available. And doing this first tiny step should make tomorrow go more smoothly. I want to fix my morning routine: up, out to bakery, shower, breakfast. Maybe add exercise before the shower, which I should be doing for my knee anyway but haven't started. Maybe later add guitar practice afterwards. I don't want to revert back to my bad habits, those which I've been working on eliminating this past month.

But tomorrow I have to go out pretty early so I'll exercise after I get back.

Edited by SuperSaiyanGod
Link to comment
Share on other sites


6:59 according to my computer, though my alarm just went off. I really feel like going back to sleep. Anyway, so far so good, I feel kind of motivated to do my morning routine and not game.

Edit: 12:35. I did a thing I had to do, and I did my morning routine, but I didn't shower. And I for two hours in between. I feel like gaming. I really don't feel like exercising or playing guitar. I think I'll read in bed for a while.

Edited by SuperSaiyanGod
Link to comment
Share on other sites


10:04. Forgot to write yesterday, possibly because I was gaming pretty much all day, just as I did the day before (started at about 15:00). I find it really difficult to stop.

Today I slept until 9:00, but that's because I couldn't fall asleep until at least 3:00. And that's because my rls wouldn't let me. I had to get up to walk twice.

I really don't feel like doing anything today. But I'm going to make breakfast. I should clean the apartment today.

Link to comment
Share on other sites


20:22. I either forgot or didn't feel like writing yesterday. I'm mostly writing now because I don't want to skip days. I'm not sure I see much value in writing this journal right now. Though I want to keep doing it because I want to be able to use it later should I need to do this all over again.

So yesterday I met my friend and she helped me finish my resume and look for job offers. Mostly she helped my by just being there, because the thought of looking for a job on my own is paralyzing. She says I have a very good resume. I don't really believe her, I think it's quite empty, all my experience in work and NGOs is stretched out as much as possible so that it doesn't look bare. But at least now it's 95% finished (just need a photo and some graphic design done). I have about a dozen job offers that we thought I should apply for. They are in vastly different fields, from english teacher to a dude who carries documents, none of them I really feel confident about or am excited about. But I'll see. We've also picked every offer that said english is very important, because that's my best skill, by a lot probably. I'll be finishing the resume tomorrow. Anyway, I'm intensely grateful to my friend.

Today was first day of class. Last year of college if everything works out. I'm very stressed out because I didn't do my mandatory internship-type thing on time and now I'll have to ask someone what to do about it. I mean, the worst thing that can happen is they'll say I have  to take a year off from college, which means I'll be at college for 9 years instead of 8 - no big difference. I don't expect that though. The second worst thing is that I might lose a shot at scholarship, which I otherwise would get 100% because I totally kicked ass at the last two grading periods. That would suck. If I get the money, I'll use it for psychotherapy. If I don't, it'll be a shame. Otherwise, I think that's it. It might be an unpleasant conversation, and I know I have no reason to have it feel unpleasant, but I find it hard to control even though I know all the possible bad consequences.

That is all. I now have two days free.

Today I registered to vote. Which means I'll be able to vote in this city. This is the first time I did that, usually I would either put it off for later until it was too late and be unable to vote, or have to vote at the village I'm from which is a pain.

Now it is finally all. Huh, I just said I don't feel like writing this and then I wrote a lot. That's good.

Oh, oh, I also cleaned the apartment today. Well, cleaned 85% of it. That felt good. But I really didn't want to do it. What I did was decided to just power through it immediately as I got home from classes. And it worked. I'm so stupid with the cleaning thing, I always put it off and it always feels more and more stressful that I still haven't done it, and then I just do it and it takes maybe an hour and isn't that bad. This actually describes me well in pretty much everything I have to do. That is a problem, I would definitely talk about in in psychotherapy.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 years later...

I'm only here to say this: when I don't play video games, I find it easier to focus on things. When I do, I find my mind returning to the game. The more engaging the game is, the more "hyper" my mind is, even if I don't play it. I don't like it.

I also find that meeting friends and having things to do helps me not play, and after doing those things playing video games doesn't feel satisfying. I'm not sure I want to fully quit, I'm pretty sure if I tried I would panick immediately and game more than ever. But I want to build a life in which I have a lot of satisfying things to do and am less interested in video games as a result.

In other news, I've been in therapy and at a psychiatrist for 2-3 years and my mental health is now better than ever. My mom sponsored it, I'm glad I told her. I am now off my meds and still feel good. No suicidal thought, no thoughts about giving up. My professional/education life could be better, but it doesn't suck as much as it used to.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

hey man, I remember your journal from two years ago. Used to have another account back then. It makes me happy that you feel better and especially that you still try to quit gaming for good! Never give up mate. Maybe you restart the journal, it helps.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Create New...