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Lea

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About Lea

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  1. Day 1 (May 18th, 2020) How Are You Feeling? I didn't have strong feelings for the earlier parts of the day, but I felt not just bad at dinner. I felt guilt, shame, sadness (for both myself and my aunt), and anger (for myself) for repeating the same mistakes and not using common sense. What Did I Do Today? Other than attending my two Zoom sessions as usual, it was not an eventful day. I also drew "Ice Scream Man" for my cousin and helped my sister with her cover letter. However, when dinner time came, my aunt called both me and my sister to talk about our mistakes and how sh
  2. Days 0 (May 16-17th, 2020) How Are You Feeling? Yesterday, I didn't not feel particularly and strongly good or bad other than the time I accidentally ate my cousin's food. Today was not that bad until in the evening when I became somewhat of an emotional wreck, first after making a mistake of eating my cousin's food (again) and second after the emotional call with my mother and sister (explained below). What Did I Do Today? For yesterday, I did not do much apart from cleaning my desk space and bookshelves and vacuuming and mopping the floor. After that, I watched some more
  3. Ah, you draw too? Sorry, I haven't really read your journal from the beginning, but this sounds awesome. What kind of drawings do you draw? I usually draw people, especially cartoon/anime girls. True, comedies are gold. Even though they are not my most favorite kind of shows, they are fun to watch. What kind of animes do you watch?
  4. Day 7 (May 15th, 2020) How Are You Feeling? Apart from the few bouts of anxiety when someone knocked on the door and the times I realized that I made my mistakes, I feel definitely better today than the days prior. What Did I Do Today? I woke up at 8 in the morning and left the bedroom right away because my sister was using it for studying (she didn't want any distraction) with my phone, headphones, and water bottle. After eating breakfast and turning on the dishwasher, I went to my cousin's play room when my aunt asked me why am I in my room. I told to her the reason, whic
  5. Day 5-6 (May 13-14th, 2020) How Are You Feeling? Yesterday, it was rough and very hectic. It is also my first time having to stop my contract with my mobile provider, and that could be why. Today, however, I didn't feel too bad compared to yesterday. What Did I Do Today? Yesterday, I was having my day when my sister told me about my bank account and why I kept on wasting money on both mobile providers. Scared because of that reminder, I went to the shopping mall to visit the mobile provider branch. After many consultations, live chats, and calls, I finally ended my contract
  6. Day 4 (May 12th, 2020) How Are You Feeling? Although there are times I feel unsure about myself and has bouts of negative thoughts, this day isn't too bad. What Did I Do Today? I woke up at almost 9 in the morning, and after I got ready, I had online schooling, which is not really a class in a traditional sense and is more like Study Hall (it's called Assessment Support in my TAFE). After 11:30, I had my lunch and watched YouTube videos (mainly about history cause I love history). When it was almost 1, I opened up my Zoom to attend the afternoon session, which is about cult
  7. Day 2-3 (May 10th and 11th, 2020) How Are You Feeling? Yesterday, I didn't feel to bad, and today's as well until today's night when I forgot to wipe the bathroom sink. What Did I Do Today? Yesterday, I made poached eggs with toast and avocado banana smoothie. It was also Mother's Day, so I said (and texted) to all of my female relatives "Happy Mother's Day." After doing some washing, I read more stories about game addicts. An hour later, I streamed yesterday's sermon (via YouTube), but it was cut short when my sister and I went to the nearby shopping center to buy some McD
  8. Day 1 (May 9th, 2020) How Are You Feeling? I didn't feel anything good or bad from this morning until afternoon. It was when someone told me that I forgot to turn off the lights that I got a sudden burst of negative thoughts, worries, and fears reeling inside my mind. It caused me to cry a little, thinking that I'm all useless for my family and the wider community. Not long however, out of the blue, God sent me an image of a neon yellow smiley, calming me down. Furthermore, when I asked him twice if I was truly saved, He responded twice to me with a "YES." It was silent comfort
  9. If you guys have known me from Ninety Days Worth the Pain, it's Lea here again. It's been eight months since I posted here and almost a year since I started gaming again. Since then, my awareness towards my surroundings went duller as I delved deeper in the world of my fantasies and imagination, wanting to escape from reality. In other words, I have been living the lie that I'm not aware of until now. It is made even worse with writing stories, drawing, and playing games, like pouring gasoline to the open fire of trouble. Long story short, the more my family scolds me for not getting mys
  10. 9 days left to go! You can do this. ?
  11. Hey @TwoSidedLife ! It's been a while since I've seen you in this forum. That's great. As for now, I am trying playing games in moderation (I relapsed after my exams are finished in May). It is okay in some days, but in other days, I struggle to keep my playtime from going overboard. I hope that you are doing well with the detox, and I am looking forward for more of your posts. ?
  12. This was similar to what I have felt when I was in my gaming detox. Like you, I also like to write stories (and poems) and drawing. However, because of my business, fear of writing poorly, and laziness, I just didn't do it and further honed my writing skills. I also agree with @30_yrs_of_gaming about overthinking and about being content. I hope that your date will go smoothly. ?
  13. Ooh, congrats to you! ?? I am happy that you and her finally confess your feelings and that it went well. Just take things slow and the following will happen at the right time.
  14. Oh, great for you! You must have a fun time with her. Just make sure that you don't rush for a relationship with her. It is interesting to me as well since I rarely heard about this. I don't know if the following advice I am going to give is going to be helpful, but I suggest that maybe you can set a time range during the weekdays to relax and a few demanding activities and friend/family hangouts on the weekend. If you feel like boxing is too much for you, I agree with you that it is a good idea to cut it out. After all, each of us, as humans, has our own equilibrium to be maintained.
  15. I also brought my phone to bed every night, and I often use it the first thing in the morning. This is definitely not the best idea for starting the day. To be honest, electronics can enhance your life, but they can also destroy yours if you use them in an unhealthy manner. Old habits die hard, but they do (and can) die with a proper plan and a sense of purpose.