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Hey everyone. I am 43 and a while back I quit porn successfully and I enjoyed the process of journaling in a porn quitting forum a lot. I managed to accomplish that. I don't do much social networking or scrolling, so I had no distractions to fall back into. Unfortunately, I realized that I just replaced porn with gaming somewhat. It's not as bad as it could be, but I already see it messing up with my work. I started to miss deadlines for just one more free-for-all Black Ops 6 game or just one more Rebirth Island run. Today, I made the decision that there's nothing good in gaming for me. Some days it will prove to be a nice distraction for a few minutes, but then invariably, other days it will get out of hand. So, I deleted Battle.net and Steam from my PC, which is what I use for work as well. It's just too tempting having them in the same machine that I use to put food on my family's table. I'm committing to at least 90 days of no games or gaming youtube videos (which I hope will become permanent after that). I also want to engage more fully with my work to take it to the next level and be more present over all, like we used to be in the 90s and early 2000s. To cope, I found out during my porn quitting that having a "power routine" helps with withdrawal negotiations. So I am also committing to a daily routine of: Exercise. Good nutrition. Hydration. Box breathing. Cold showers. What I call "to draw First Blood" (which is a ritual in which I turn off distractions and read or "do" my work for 15 minutes and then do 1 pomodoro of work, which gets me to engage with my work for at least half an hour; that usually tricks me into being productive the rest of the morning).   Rise of the Phoenix (which is the same as First Blood but in the afternoon; it involves meditation with an app for 15 minutes to wake up after lunch and get at least another 30 mins of work done). Do 15 minutes of piano. Write this journal and have a gratitude moment. That's the goal. Let's see how I do. Let's trust that the method works. I started this in the evening and before uninstalling Call of Duty, I played one last time. So, today is Day 0.

Entry 16.2 Day 32: No Useless Videos Day 864: Sticking to Food schedule Day 467: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00) Day 15: Being in bed before 23:15 3 Things I did well no matter how small  -Out of bed at approx 4:07  -75% effort run -Drink water right after washing dishes 1 Thing I could do  better -Set goals for output(production) for the day along with the input(pomodoros) Gaming count since relapse  Gaming (Death, Slavery, Regret, Disease) - 5  Yan (Life, Individuality, Freedom, Purpose, Self-Fulfillment) - 33

Entry 15.2 Day 31: No Useless Videos Day 863: Sticking to Food schedule Day 466: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00) Day 14: Being in bed before 23:15 3 Things I did well no matter how small  -Morning workout -5 pomodoros and 2 SPIs -Masturbated within timeframe dedicated to it 1 Thing I could do  better -Drink water right after washing dishes. Perhaps hydration will reduce hand dryness and sleepiness Gaming count since relapse  Gaming (Death, Slavery, Regret, Disease) - 5  Yan (Life, Individuality, Freedom, Purpose, Self-Fulfillment) - 32

I used to play 2-3 hours of sport per day in the past and do all coursework as much as my time allowed. When i had tried speaking to other people i noticed mistakes in those people or threats in them. When i thought why Im blocking communication, i couldn't get the honest answer from myself. When i went in to write an exam paper I hadn’t revised, I was going to successfully fail it, producing the best possible result in that situation.  Until it dawned that fixation on being right means relying on criteria that aren't meant to produce success. Not seeing the main goal, meant that all these smaller rules were inconsequential. Put in a gray area situation, I couldn't trust myself and folded. Any lack of or rules meant instant defeat.  . Such a shaky foundation to circumvent having to love and trust oneself. Its at those moments there is a short moment you need faith, you have to let go and enable the fight to play out. If you turn back, you will spend a long time trying to be right.

Entry 14.2 Day 30: No Useless Videos Day 862: Sticking to Food schedule Day 465: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00) Day 13: Being in bed before 23:15 3 Things I did well no matter how small  -Out of bed at 4 am give or take a few minutes once more -1.5 hour nap or so -8 pomodoros and 2 SPI units 1 Thing I could do  better -Be more watchful during the staying in sun break not to let it take 55 minutes instead of 30 Gaming count since relapse  Gaming (Death, Slavery, Regret, Disease) - 5  Yan (Life, Individuality, Freedom, Purpose, Self-Fulfillment) - 31