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Icandothis journal


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Hello,

It has been so long since I have been here.

Life has been very confusing. Integrating myself back into my “normal” daily activities has been a challenge. I am emerging into a world that has been extremely impacted by the pandemic; and where I live in PNW, everything is very locked down. 
 

Just one breath at a time. 
 

We have moved to a new home, a block away. It’s bigger... which my girls really love. But it is still next to a forested area. I again, broke down into tears leaving my old apartment... but then a beautiful rainbow appeared. Picture below. 🥰

Still going to acupuncture. My hands and feet are numb from chemo... this could take a year to resolve. 
 

Starting back into my yoga practice! Also practicing daily body scans. 
 

Also, I have removed sugar from my diet. All sugars, honey, maple syrup, agave. I really really struggled with this... but now... over a month out I am feeling really really healthy. I have replace all the sugars with spices, turmeric/black pepper/cinnamon and a ton of herbs, basil/thyme/rosemary. So delicious. 
 

I miss my very very long hair. I had to cut off 14 inches... and have realized just how attached I was.  
 
My resolution for this year is community. Feeling very isolated, and have started to fall into some not so good patterns. At the same time, I feel more than enough.  Full of love, life and light. Feeling so so so many things right now. 
 

I have missed this forum and hope to be posting more regularly. 
 

Edit: I can't find my rainbow picture. Will post soon.  Sending joy friends!

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I'm so glad to see you posting here. I also had a hiatus from the forum. 

It's wonderful to hear the good news regarding your health. 🙂

13 hours ago, Icandothis said:

I miss my very very long hair. I had to cut off 14 inches... and have realized just how attached I was.

It will grow! I'm also growing my hair slowly, hadn't had a haircut in... 4 months? 🙂 It's still pretty short tho, haha

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2 hours ago, gargamel said:

I'm so glad to see you posting here. I also had a hiatus from the forum. 

It's wonderful to hear the good news regarding your health. 🙂

It will grow! I'm also growing my hair slowly, hadn't had a haircut in... 4 months? 🙂 It's still pretty short tho, haha

Ahh that’s right.. we’re going to grow our hair together!

 

Glad to see you here. I haven’t caught up on your journal but I hope you are meeting your goals!

 

Have a beautiful day!

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The opposite of addiction is not sobriety; it’s human connection.

 

I love this quote because it is a beautiful reminder about how we are too live in community, to love each other, to need one another. 
 

I went to acupuncture today... and my practitioner is so wonderful. He always reminds me what a beautiful soul I am, how I have overcome so much, how it’s ok to be sad. And I have cried so many tears. So so many tears. He says I always look so happy and positive. I gently tell him how hard I grieve. 
 

Its really important to share not only the love, but the vast amounts of heartbreak I have been through. 
 

Another quote, “ When after heavy rain the storm clouds disperse; is it not they’ve wept themselves clear to the end.”

 

Sending all my love today friends. 

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That first quote is beautiful, i love it so much. Although physically we may be seperated because of COVID, we are still connected in other ways. 

2 hours ago, Icandothis said:

I went to acupuncture today... and my practitioner is so wonderful. He always reminds me what a beautiful soul I am, how I have overcome so much, how it’s ok to be sad

I am glad your practitioner is like this, what an amazing human he seems like!

I hope you are doing well and i wish you my best 

Jason

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Here is a picture of the rainbow over my home that I mentioned.  
 

It’s reminders like this.... we are never alone. 
 

Starting a 24 hour fast today.  I don’t really know anything about fasting... except to not eat. Planning on doing 1 24 hour fast a week. Instead of eating... I will be praying/meditating. Hoping to get clarity and peace regarding next steps. 
 

Have a beautiful day friends!

2E825340-CDC2-4AA2-B476-DBE2853AAB78.jpeg

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4 hours ago, Icandothis said:

Starting a 24 hour fast today.  I don’t really know anything about fasting... except to not eat. Planning on doing 1 24 hour fast a week. Instead of eating... I will be praying/meditating. Hoping to get clarity and peace regarding next steps. 

I fasted once for a day back in January. I got up late from my bed and realized I hadn't eaten for over 12 hours already, so I rolled with it. The "worst" thing about it was that I found I had no way to relax and that I felt I needed to do something all the time! So I slept for the last hour or two of the fast. The food was tastier afterwards 😄

Good luck!

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Hi! Welcome back. I'm so happy to see you and I was worried you were not well again. Thanks for the kind words. I'm glad you moved and I hope this works out. Looking forward to more of your updates. I agree with human connection being a major proponent in quitting games. Having society is very important.

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