Icandothis journal

[Icandothis]

Found this little ray of sunshine at the beginning of the trail. Notice the black and yellow caterpillars all over it? This is supposedly a sign that it’s really good to eat. 
 

The dark green part is a bitter green that tastes almost like kale.   
 

Joy!

[BooksandTrees]

29 minutes ago, Icandothis said:

Found this little ray of sunshine at the beginning of the trail. Notice the black and yellow caterpillars all over it? This is supposedly a sign that it’s really good to eat. 
 

The dark green part is a bitter green that tastes almost like kale.   
 

Joy!

I've never seen so many caterpillars in my life. That's crazy. Must be lots of butterflies later in the year. I hope you're feeling better. 

[Icandothis]

Thank you for everyone’s love and prayers in this community. Yesterday I saw and felt a miracle of God’s love and presence. 
 

I will post story later. Here is my little flower of the day. 

[chiliflavor]

3 minutes ago, Icandothis said:

Thank you for everyone’s love and prayers in this community. Yesterday I saw and felt a miracle of God’s love and presence. 
 

I will post story later. Here is my little flower of the day. 

This I like the most, so far! And the owl! 😂 Take care and get well soon, @Icandothis. Hoping for your speedy recovery! 😊

[Icandothis]

Joyful day. 
 

Went to the duck pond. It you look closely there are 2 little ducklings 🐥 on top right of picture. 

[TheNewMe2.0]

Nice pictures. Looks like you're getting outdoors and taking some nice walks. I'm happy for you. God bless you. 

[Icandothis]

3 hours ago, Erik2.0 said:

Nice pictures. Looks like you're getting outdoors and taking some nice walks. I'm happy for you. God bless you. 

Thank you friend. May God fill you with joy as well. 

[Icandothis]

I woke up today in a bed with a pillow. I walked to my kitchen and grabbed a ripe avocado for breakfast. 
 

I am so grateful to have access to healthy food. A peaceful place to rest at night. Just feeling really thankful right now. 
 

Here are some blackberry bushes that will hopefully ripen soon. 

[TheNewMe2.0]

Yum, blackberries. They have a high fiber content in addition to being tasty. Feeling grateful is great and good for you. Avocados are nice for breakfast. Are you a vegetarian?

[Icandothis]

8 hours ago, Erik2.0 said:

Yum, blackberries. They have a high fiber content in addition to being tasty. Feeling grateful is great and good for you. Avocados are nice for breakfast. Are you a vegetarian?

Thank you friend. 
 

No I am not a vegetarian. I have tried many times for ethical reasons, but my health went into a deep state of decline.

[Icandothis]

Hi All

 

Today I began my 4th chemotherapy treatment. 4 out of 12. I will have chemo for 50 straight hours. 
 

Will you please pray for a strong spirit or send loving energy. I believe in love and community. 
 

I would be so grateful. Thank you. 

[BooksandTrees]

1 hour ago, Icandothis said:

Hi All

 

Today I began my 4th chemotherapy treatment. 4 out of 12. I will have chemo for 50 straight hours. 
 

Will you please pray for a strong spirit or send loving energy. I believe in love and community. 
 

I would be so grateful. Thank you. 

I hope you feel better and this round of chemo is safe for you. Stay strong and try to find relaxing, peaceful activities to give you strength during this. Maybe a soft puzzle, a book, a sketch, or something?

[Icandothis]

2 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

I hope you feel better and this round of chemo is safe for you. Stay strong and try to find relaxing, peaceful activities to give you strength during this. Maybe a soft puzzle, a book, a sketch, or something?

Thank you for the beautiful ideas. Drawing has helped me release so many emotions. 
 

I am distracting myself with podcasts right now. Yes, this is an escape.... but it is what is needed right now. 
 

If anyone has any good suggestions. Thank you. 🙂

[Ikar]

I hope all goes well for you 🙂

As for podcasts, I recommend Mark Manson. His articles have audio versions and I like the style he writes in.

[TheNewMe2.0]

14 hours ago, Icandothis said:

Thank you friend. 
 

No I am not a vegetarian. I have tried many times for ethical reasons, but my health went into a deep state of decline.

I tried it too for health and ethical reasons. But I was just super hungry all the time no matter how much veggie food I ate. So I always went back. I'm fine with meat now. Some people just have to eat it. I hope your Chemo goes well. 50 hours sounds grueling. Praying for you to have a strong spirit through this and sending you lots of love.

[BooksandTrees]

You can listen to my one off podcast if you want lol.

[Icandothis]

15 hours ago, Ikar said:

I hope all goes well for you 🙂

As for podcasts, I recommend Mark Manson. His articles have audio versions and I like the style he writes in.

Thank you for being here and your support. It means so much.

 

I will take a listen the podcast. 😊

[Icandothis]

5 hours ago, Erik2.0 said:

I tried it too for health and ethical reasons. But I was just super hungry all the time no matter how much veggie food I ate. So I always went back. I'm fine with meat now. Some people just have to eat it. I hope your Chemo goes well. 50 hours sounds grueling. Praying for you to have a strong spirit through this and sending you lots of love.

Thank you so much for the prayers. It is so appreciated. I am very thankful for you. 
 

We as humans have ancestries from different parts of the world. Every individual has different nutritional needs. I have a blood type of O, which means my body needs red meat... which I have found to be very true. 
 

But this contradicts one of my main priorities, which is do no harm. I try to get my meat from farms where they are humanely raised and killed. But is there such a thing?

 

This is a huge point of internal struggle for me.  Sorry for the ramble!!

[Icandothis]

1 hour ago, BooksandTrees said:

You can listen to my one off podcast if you want lol.

Sure what’s the name?

[Phoenixking]

15 hours ago, Icandothis said:

I try to get my meat from farms where they are humanely raised and killed. But is there such a thing?

Living in Belgium, this might not apply to you; but since I struggle with the same thing, I found a great farm that helps out. They raise their pigs and cattle with lots of 'TLC' and the meat is kind of like crowdfunded. What I mean by that is that they only humanely kill the animal when every single part of it has been sold; feet, tail, ears, every single thing. You get a few kilos of food like sausages and other stuff too but because of that system you might have to wait a while before évery part is actually sold. It tastes way better and is more expensive, but my SO and I feel a bit less guilty when eating it knowing that it was raised and killed properly and not a single thing goes to waste. And the flavor, colors and texture are so different. Made us wonder what the fuck they do to meat we buy elsewhere. It's like way more farm-to-table. Maybe there's similar organisations like this where you live? It's possible in any case.

[TheNewMe2.0]

22 hours ago, Icandothis said:

Thank you so much for the prayers. It is so appreciated. I am very thankful for you. 
 

We as humans have ancestries from different parts of the world. Every individual has different nutritional needs. I have a blood type of O, which means my body needs red meat... which I have found to be very true. 
 

But this contradicts one of my main priorities, which is do no harm. I try to get my meat from farms where they are humanely raised and killed. But is there such a thing?

 

This is a huge point of internal struggle for me.  Sorry for the ramble!!

You're welcome. I'm glad to know you and be nice to you. My ancestors must not have liked red meat. Because I live off almost exclusively turkey and chicken for meat. I just try to live without incurring much cost financially. I don't even think about if the meats humanely raised anymore. I'd like to do no harm too though. I say do the best you can and be okay with it as it is. That's the best we can do. I understand how you'd feel conflicted about it. But you're doing your best and that's good enough.

[Icandothis]

Hi.

 

Thank you for your comments. I am having a terrible time stringing words together. 😭 Stupid chemo.

 

Here is a beautiful picture of the double rainbow I saw the other day. 

[Icandothis]

Rough day.  My chemo ended yesterday, and the next 2 days my body will need to recover. 
 

I love looking back at the pictures I took and knowing that this only temporary and I will feel better in between treatments. 
 

So tired. So so so tired. 

[Amphibian220]

I hope you have identified activities that activate your self-healing mechanisms.

There are these things with each person that give him/her peace of mind that allows the body to do the work. Wish you a speedy recovery and maybe the need for therapy will go away so you will have less than planned.

[Icandothis]

Doing my best to live in the ever present moment. 
 

I got up. No chest pain. No nausea. No throwing up. I have energy. I have mild discomfort but getting better.

 

Acupuncture was amazing today. For the first time I had needles in my back. Up and down my whole spine. It was bliss.  I forgot about everything... and just was.  My thoughts stopped, my body relaxed. It felt so good.