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karabas

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Everything posted by karabas

  1. Day 14/120 |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| No phone in washroom 0/120 20 mins of Qur'an 9/120 Gah, I relapsed on my phone in the washroom thing because I'm really into this book that I'm reading on my phone. Oh well. Not the worst situation. Videos and such are under control for now. Qur'an has been better, but still shaky. Not a habit yet, but I think part of that is that I don't have a daily schedule. Still transitioning after Ramadan - and honestly, I'm traveling soon, so that'll tweak my schedule again.
  2. Right on man. I was reflecting on this after your post: I really think being alone is the main reason people struggle with addictions, low willpower, depression, etc. I live in a developing country where people still keep family & friendship ties (because they're not always on their phones/computers... because most of them can't afford them) and I've long ago noticed that people are happier, less ADHD, and way more hardworking than in US/Canada where I lived most of my life. Living alone here is almost unthinkable. Either you live with family or you get married and live with your wife, or sometimes you get married and live with your family in your family's house 😄 Yes, family's not always fun and there can be drama, tensions, etc, but I think human beings are designed for this. We're not designed to live in one-man palaces with nobody to talk to except through a screen. No wonder Western countries have higher depression & suicide rates. So, long story short, I think this will help a lot. Especially if the roommate is a friend who could be supportive of your problem. I did manage to continue gaming even while rooming with someone in college, but it's a completely different story now that I'm married, since my wife knows about my problems and is supportive.
  3. Oh man, I'm sorry to hear that 😞 Have you thought of doing something more radical? Like getting rid of your computer entirely, or taking some time off from uni to go do things you're passionate about? Cam has that whole retreat thing now also. Or getting a roommate who's understanding of your problem and would be willing to help. I don't know if I could've done as well with my detox if I wasn't married... I have a feeling that you're struggling because you're really not enjoying your day-to-day. Gaming is a good means of escaping that...
  4. Hey man, it's been a few days. What's been going on? Oh shoot man, I'm sorry to hear that. And on a day like that too! I think this is a huge factor in why so many of the folks here (including myself) relapse. Poor sleep, especially habitually, can really screw you up. Glad that you're doing something about it.
  5. Day 9/120 |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| No phone in washroom 9/120 20 mins of Qur'an 4/120 Smooth sailing so far, thank God. But Ramadan is coming to an end - I have a feeling things will get trickier afterwards. It's always easier to focus on the good in Ramadan. The big plus so far has been that I have extra time right now (I've finished up work with a number of clients & I'm not immediately bringing on more) and I dove straight into working on my business. Now that I have email subscribers going through sequences, I'm under more pressure (and motivation) to get everything set up as soon as possible. It's all very engaging - there's tons to do and I'm happy to do it (for now) and that's keeping me away from wasting my time on vids and things like that. If I do want to relax a bit, I read or talk to my wife. I have a trip coming up in a couple of weeks, which I'm looking forward to, but also dreading. On one hand, it's great to see family. On the other hand, seeing family always wrecks my good habits AND I really need to have some content ready for my business before I head out. Let's see how much I can get done!
  6. Day 6/120 |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| No phone in washroom 6/120 20 mins of Qur'an 1/120 Dang, did I not update for 4 days? I thought it was 2 😵 Overall detox has been pretty good so far. No forgetful lapses since the last post. I'm struggling more with Qur'an first thing in the day, had to restart my counter. So far I'm feeling fine. Part of it is that I'm actively working on my business and it's fun. No significant results as of yet, but reaching any milestone is like... well, a game. So if I have a spare minute, I'd rather do business-related stuff than watch videos. That's likely to wear off at some point. But I'll ride the wave while it's there. Hopefully it's the jumpstart I need.
  7. Day 2/120 |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| No phone in washroom 2/120 20 mins of Qur'an 2/120 Better than Day 1. Forgetfully watched a few videos (I think via Twitter) but otherwise no problem. Remembered to read Qur'an after I woke up. Also, I did close to 48 hours of work last week. Must be some kind of personal record!
  8. CGAA sounds very interesting. I didn't know it even existed. The only thing I wish is that it would be in person, but I'm guessing there aren't enough people for that... too few realize that they're addicted or that it's harming their lives.
  9. Day 1/120 |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| No phone in washroom 1/120 20 mins of Qur'an 1/120 My first day was full of forgetfulness. I forgetfully watched some videos on a news website and forgot to read Qur'an until later in the day. I'm still counting this as a day, because overall I didn't intentionally waste time on vids and habits take time to form. Feeling good so far. Not a lot of desire to watch anything. Thanks man!
  10. New topic: https://forum.gamequitters.com/index.php?/topic/7333-karabass-journal-part-3-youtube-shows/
  11. Day 0/120 |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| No phone in washroom 0/120 20 mins of Qur'an 0/120 Well, here we go! I got delayed a bit with posting this because I thought I was on a high and was going to go vid-free, but the very next day I started watching travel vlogs about a country I'm visiting in a few months and am super excited about. That's enough of that. I'm going to try to keep things very basic this time around: a few simple rules and that's it. I'm not adding or subtracting anything in terms of habits for the 120-day period. I picked 120 days, because that covers me for my upcoming "busy period": I have 2 lengthy trips coming up + a family member staying with us for a month. All of this should make it more difficult for me to watch videos as it is (at least in theory) and I'm hoping it'll be easy to keep this habit. However, 90 days would end close to the end of my last trip, and that would mean that I'm risking returning home and relapsing right away. 120 days gives 3 weeks to re-adjust to home while (hopefully) maintaining my detox. Detox rules are: No YouTube (or Vimeo or whatever other video channel) unless necessary for work or study No TV shows, movies, and other entertainment No X-rated stuff No phone in washroom is straightforward. 20 mins of Qur'an I must do first thing after I wake up. Night-time habits don't work because I put them off and then go to bed late or end up skipping them. That's all. Let's see how this goes!
  12. Well, I'm back folks. Not gonna do a long one right now. The basic gist is that over the last few months, I've not gamed, but have completely relapsed watching videos. However, thanks in part to my wife, I've been able to keep it from derailing my life entirely. I've been fairly productive and things are going well - even if not as well as they would if I wasn't watching vids. I'm nearing a year of not playing games - unless I count a day or two of semi-relapsing on playing phone games and old DOS games via online emulators earlier this year. However, now that game of thrones is over (and on such a bad note... i've lost all interest in the show by the last episode), I feel like I have an opportunity to restart my detox. I've got travel & family stuff for the next 3 months. It makes sense to do a 90-day detox and see how that goes. I think I also feel a bit refreshed in terms of detoxing. Haven't done it in some time, I think I can give it another whirl. Not sure what I'll do differently, but let's see. Will probably start a new topic tomorrow. Stay tuned!
  13. Agreed with Tom. Even if you relapsed, just look back at your past months that you've spent posting on these forums and count the number of days you've been productive and moving towards your goals vs the number of the days you've spent gaming. Pretty clearly a win. You've got this!
  14. Day 1/30 |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Pomodorro Lvl 2 (56/100) Sleep before 12am: 0 (longest streak: 17) No phone in washroom 1/30 Umra resolutions (50%): 2/30 30-minute study: 3/30 Better, thank God. Video cravings still there, but under control so far.
  15. That's an interesting insight. I think I'm pretty guilty of this, too. When I'm firing on all cylinders, I start projecting into the future, like "If I work this many hours every week this year, I'll hit all my financial goals and it'll be awesome!" and then I relapse on entertainment and spend a month doing next to nothing and feel crap about myself and like I'm betraying myself. I gotta have a recipe for those days. I think I'm going to ask the wife to go out with me, go for food or just a long walk or whatever. Accept that productivity ain't happening, that I gotta reset, and just try again the next day...
  16. Yeah, maybe. I googled it, there are two places (that I could easily find) that offer ~$90/month (less if you pay monthly), although taxis will cost me another $80/month or so. That's quite pricey by local standards, but overall not bad. And yeah, I could count it as a business expense. Let's see. I might try it out. Taxi-ing every day is a bit annoying - that's really what's the biggest barrier for me, I think.
  17. Guilty as charged. I should put an asterisk on the word "like", though. I like the books. The show was good until it passed the books. Now I just want to know how it all ends since it's going to be another 10 years or more until GRRM finishes everything up. 😄 There must be a space somewhere in this city (although the major co-working space in the country isn't available), but I see two problems with it: 1) It'll probably be a daily commute, which is time & money consuming. 2) I'm still sort of "alone" in a coworking space. If I start gaming on watching vids, nobody's going to look at me weird there. Whereas at home, I prefer not to do it in front of my wife... so the social pressure is greater at home. So I dunno if it's actually better in my case...
  18. Hey man, hope all's well ❤️
  19. Day 0/30 |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Pomodorro Lvl 2 (56/100) Sleep before 12am: 0 (longest streak: 17) No phone in washroom 0/30 Umra resolutions (50%): 1/30 30-minute study: 2/30 Ok, clearly 120 days is a bit beyond me right now. I need a smaller, more realistic target. I can try going for 30 days, that seems more doable. A show I really like is coming out in that time period. If it gets really bad, I'll try to content myself with reading episode summaries. That has helped me in the past. At least gaming cravings seem to have died down significantly. I just need to deal with my video watching. Spent most of the day doing that today. I think partially it's the fact that I'm in my office alone most of the day, but it's not all of it. Cravings to watch something or to game can be so strong sometimes, it's overwhelming. I try to push through and end up caving, because I'm so worried about productivity. I think I need to bite the bullet and get out of the house in those circumstances. Long-term gain, hopefully? I need to think about this more and pay attention. I've gotten lazy with journaling here...
  20. Meh. Back to crap again. Yesterday had ridiculous cravings for games and spent half the day watching gaming vids. Literally the only thing stopping me so far has been the price tag of the game. Tried playing a few old DOS games online, but dosbox doesn't work very well on a Mac. Yet another reason to have a mac if you're a gaming addict! Today has been "better" in that I binge-watched 3 seasons of a show (ok, to be fair, I skipped around a lot). Went from 8am to 4pm straight and then wasted the rest of the day pretty much. But no gaming cravings and I actually feel like being productive tomorrow (I think), which would be a change. So I guess let's see? I've asked my wife to help with going to bed early and I'm hoping that'll help me in the long term. Sigh. This is probably the crappiest I've been since August...
  21. Sleep before 12am: 1 (longest streak: 17) No phone in washroom 1/120 Umra resolutions (50%): 1/30 30-minute study: 1/90 Work Hours: 9:10 so far I've really made an effort (with the help of the wife) to sleep earlier. Stayed up after morning prayer yesterday and today and have had overall productive days. Trying to get back into my spiritual habits & study, as well as not using the phone in a washroom (a huge time suck for me!). Overall, I'm feeling pretty good. But my video consumption is still pretty bad. I've been watching let's play videos of my favorite game and the only thing that's stopping me is the $200+ cost of the game with all its DLCs (and I wouldn't be able to enjoy it without the DLCs). I did even play 5 minutes of an old 1990s game, but it quickly felt stupid and I quit. I'm hoping I can build up enough energy & motivation to finally stop consuming these videos and get away from my looming gaming relapse. I think the biggest factor for me has been my sleep routine and level of fatigue. If I feel rested, I do just fine. It's when I'm constantly sleeping late that this nonsense starts. So I need to take better care of my sleep and hopefully recover from all of this, God willing.
  22. i'm struggling. binge-watched 2 seasons of show a few days back, lost a whole day's worth of work. i've started watching gaming vids and the desire to game is pretty strong. the thing that's stopping me at the moment is that I'd need to fork over $200+ for the game that I want to play and all the DLCs that go with it. And to top all that, I'm not really feeling like doing any work on myself, re-starting the detox, etc. I don't even feel like working or launching my business (SO close). Sigh...
  23. Maybe try giving yourself some regular down time and see how it works out? Obviously should be away from computer. Another thing I realized is the problem may be that you live alone. I made a lot of progress when my wife started working out of the same room as me, which meant that I couldn't game without her seeing and I stopped. It might help if you have a roommate... might also be a way to get that down time by hanging out...
  24. pretty much a fail all around so far. i have a new fad: podcasts. I started listening to them as I was helping my wife around the house, making meals, etc. I found some really interesting ones and now I'm listening to them in the bathroom and staying up late because I want to finish an episode. sleep has been a major problem for me. going to try to focus on once again getting off the tit of the phone, whether visual or aural, and getting to bed on time. these are key for me right now if i want to get back to being productive.
  25. Well, Cam does have that new retreat thing... but it might not be such a bad idea to just get away from everything (if it's possible). Buy a dumb phone and an old-school guidebook with maps and go off the grid for a while. I think it'll give you that opportunity to figure yourself out spiritually also. I know what you mean about the skill of just doing enough to get away with things. Did that all through high school, college, work, and part of my marriage. Don't beat yourself up too much. The reason you fall into this behavior is because you're an addict. That's what addicts do, they sometimes relapse. You'll figure this out, it just takes time. I know I've been able to stay from games for over 6 months now, but the reality is that I've been trying to stop my gaming addiction since 2010. It's a lot of hard-wired behavior to overcome. I do get the sense from you that when you're on the detox, you're always "going". It doesn't seem like you allow yourself any downtime. It's like you always have to be doing something: gym, school, pickup, whatever. I think that's part of the problem of our modern lives: we're always plugged in and always trying to "maximize" our daily "efficiency". Our brains need down time. I'm Muslim so I end up grabbing at least 25-30 minutes a day by virtue of the daily prayers + some more time because of my spiritual routines. Whatever it is, I think you need to work in some down time for yourself. Think of it as a time investment. Also, have you tried doing "morning pages"? Google it - I think it's a good practice for us tech-addict types.
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