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karabas

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Everything posted by karabas

  1. Welcome to the forums, @Rude 🎉 This is my personal definition of an addiction: if gaming (or any other kind of activity, really) is preventing you from doing things you'd rather do, it's an addiction. One of the things that we generally recommend is to start your own daily journal. Some folks will read it and may follow up with you if you disappear (as has happened to me a few times). It's also a great long-term method for getting to the bottom of your addiction, what triggers it, and how to avoid it. And feel free to read other people's journals - you may find someone who's a good match.
  2. karabas

    Karabas's Journal: Part 2

    Day 0/120 I'm starting this as I started my last detox, at day 0 and a pretty crappy day it was. I've been gaming for about 2 weeks now, which isn't that much. But it's just an extension of my whole addiction problem: for a good month before that I had a problem with videos and even books. The result is that I haven't been productive since June. I'm traveling to my home country in a few days to help my parents out with some stuff and will be there for a month. It'll be particularly important for me to have the time to work while I'm helping them. So I can't do this nonsense. So I'm restarting my detox, including games and videos, and addictive books (fiction mostly). Last time what caused me to slip was: 1) reminders of my past habits (such as news about games) 2) "excusable" videos: TED talks, random videos I saw that was relevant to my interests, and the damned world cup I've deleted most of my sources for the above (cleared history on youtube, etc). I need to get off of facebook as well. I also need to spend more time away from the computer, so I'm going to try again to get away after every 2 hours and run the pomodorro timer otherwise. I also need to start writing out my day's tasks and hourly breakdown again. I was able to do 90 days last detox, so I'm increasing it to 120 this time. If I can go addiction free for 120 days straight, that's a third of the year. Even if I relapse after, it's a long way without addictive behaviour. I'm kind of in a conundrum: what happens if I break my detox in videos? Videos are definitely not as bad for me as games, but videos lead to games. At the same time, if I break my detox through videos, I'll say "eff it" and will go back to gaming as well. I need to try to do both I guess - that's the only idea I have for now. Even if games aren't in and of themselves that bad for me, they end being really bad as part of my addictive behavior. So, here we go again...
  3. karabas

    Karabas's Journal: Part 2

    Day 24/120 |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Pomodorro Lvl 2 (56/100) Sleep before 12am: 12 (longest previous streak: 4) No phone in washroom 26/120 Umra resolutions: 11/90 Work Hours: 6:10 (10:50 this week) Yeah, so that sleep I was talking about? Totally happened yesterday right after I posted. I was so sleepy and I went and crashed for 3+ hours. I'm still not feeling 100%, but I think I can wait it out until Friday to get some extra rest. Clearly, my sleep schedule is not providing me sufficient rest (even though I'm sleeping close to 8 hours a night). I need to make changes. I think after Friday, I'll aim to sleep before 11:30pm. I have a feeling that extra 30 minutes is all I need, but let's see. The big challenge is going to be our upcoming trip to see my family. My family (especially my Mom) go to bed super late. But since I see them once/twice a year only, I really want to spend time with them, so I stay up too, but it totally destroys my sleep schedule. Over there, dawn is around 7:10am, so I have to be up ~6:45am at the latest. To get 8 hours of sleep, I need to be in bed by 10:45pm. That sounds highly unlikely, given my family lol.
  4. karabas

    90 days.

    Awesome! Free time is definitely a dangerous thing if you've got a tech addiction!
  5. karabas

    90 days.

    1 - I'd be very careful about setting deadlines like "this month". Addiction's a long, tough fight. I've been trying to quit for 10+ years. To be fair, I've actually started to make progress when I came to this forum and started a journal. Writing about it daily forced me to think about why I was addicted, what behaviors triggered my addiction, etc. But there's no fast & easy solution. But repeat failure is definitely part of the process. Plenty of guys on here have failed a ton of times, but if you look at how they're doing now compared to 6 months ago, it's night and day. In terms of YT and gaming, I don't have all the answers. My personal experience has been to quit gaming first and deal with the video addiction second, even though I did exactly what you said: resort to videos if games were not possible. I've seen some guys who are doing a gaming + gaming videos detox - they're allowed to watch videos, as long as they're not about games. I think that's a good first step because gaming videos are a common relapse trigger. @JustTom can weigh in on this more. 2 - Nothing foolproof that I'm aware of. My solution to wasting time on the phone has been to keep it in a different room (bedroom when I'm awake, office when I'm asleep). And I have a separate detox counter for not using the phone in the bathroom, which is what I used to do a lot. 3 - You have your whole life to fix this. I've found that the people who are successful in getting rid of this are people who learn how to fail. I've seen guys who fail a couple of times and just give up. Others have failed so many times (including myself), but just pick themselves up and try again every single time. The key is to learn something from each failure, set up the new detox in a way to deal with it. Over time you'll start noticing the changes. Overall I strongly encourage you to run a daily journal. Write about how you're doing, how you're feeling, the challenges you're facing, and what you're going to try to deal with them. It sounds lame, but it's incredible how useful it is in the long run.
  6. karabas

    Daily Journal - Samon

    😆This is not what I posted but it is very inspiring! Thanks for sharing! I think I posted that lol. Thanks, @JustTom 😄
  7. karabas

    Karabas's Journal: Part 2

    Day 22-23/120 |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Pomodorro Lvl 2 (56/100) Sleep before 12am: 11ish (longest previous streak: 4) No phone in washroom 25/120 Umra resolutions: 10/90 Work Hours: 7:40 (40:00 last week), 4:40 Monday Last few days have been a tad strained. I'm working, but with less focus. I'm not going to bed late, but I'm really pushing my own boundaries here. Yesterday I went to bed at 12:30. I'm still counting it, but I need to go to sleep actually before 12 to keep my streak. I think the sleep is getting to me overall. I usually need a lot and I'm sleeping slightly under 8 hours every day and it's been accumulating. It's enough to stay up after morning prayer, but I feel a 3-hour crash fest coming up like last week. Problem is, I can't really afford it productivity-wise, but it might need to happen. Tomorrow, maybe? I don't think I'll hold out until Friday. Yesterday I got only 4:40 of work in, but with good reason: we started our Islamic classes with a teacher again. So I had a 2-hour class and I spent time preparing for it (probably another 2 hours or so). So not too bad, but I do need to make that time up. And I have another class on Thursday. Oh boy. Anyway, things are not so bad, but I'm feeling a dip in motivation coming up. My prayer has been a lot more distracted as of late as well and I'm not liking it. I'm hoping it's just a matter of rest.
  8. karabas

    Journey to my white coat

    Duuuuude exactly. Please let this year end already lmao.  Lol. I hated university (I love learning... just not in school) and everybody kept telling me, "just wait till you get a job, you'll hate working and wish you went back to uni!" Nope. Never happened. Every time somebody mentions their uni studies, I feel thankful for not having to go through that again 😄
  9. karabas

    JustTom's Journal 2: Summer Edition

    This is an awesome post. Just compare your attitude to failure now vs 3-4 months ago. You've got this man! Pick yourself up and keep going!
  10. karabas

    Karabas's Journal: Part 2

    Day 21/120 |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Pomodorro Lvl 2 (56/100) Sleep before 12am: 9 (longest previous streak: 4) No phone in washroom 23/120 Umra resolutions: 8/90 Work Hours: 6:50 (32:20 this week) Considering I was so tired that I slept until 12 and had some long conversations with the wife and still got all my umra resolutions done while going over the target 6:40 of work, I call this an awesome win. Now I have to do 7:40 today, but I'm up and it's early and I'm motivated, so LET'S DO IT.
  11. karabas

    Karabas's Journal: Part 2

    Yep. I'm working on a basic email sequence + landing pages. Almost done, I think. After that I need to get some essential content recorded. I think the idea of doing that scares me, because it makes the whole thing real. And doing this whole thing is a risk. A risk of spending time, money, effort, on something that may or may not pan out. So I think I'm putting it off because of that. But I'm running out of excuses to do it, plus I really think it can unlock a lot of other goals I have in life, so I think that motivation is starting to outweigh the fear. It's mostly no videos. I watch stuff I have to for work and the like, obviously. Or a video a friend/relative sends me. And I watch SpaceX launch webcasts 😄 (because I"m a nerd and Elon Musk is a role model). Other than that, nothing. The easy workaround bug on BlockSite got fixed, so it's fairly annoying for me to watch something on this computer. But since the pilgrimage I haven't really wanted to watch anything. I don't know if this is permanent or not, but I'm using it while it lasts to get myself off of this nonsense.
  12. karabas

    90 days.

    Hey! Welcome to the anti-gaming grind 😄 A couple of tips: - You might want to separate YouTube out of your gaming detox. Yes, YouTube is a problem and it's also an inspiration for relapsing into gaming, but from personal experience (and those of other journals I follow), it's actually a lot harder to quit than games. I'm at nearly 120 days of no gaming, but I haven't been able to go off videos for more than 25 days. I would focus on not gaming (and maybe not watching gaming content on YouTube) first, then battle your video content problem once that's more or less under control. - There are some apps & extensions that can help with YouTube usage. Chrome has an extension called Block Site. You can come up with some random password and send it to a friend or a person on this forum. Yes, there are ways around it, but it's generally enough to keep me from just browsing to YT. There's also an extension that hides recommendations in YouTube, and can also remove comments so that all you see is the video you looked for and nothing else. THat's very helpful. And I definitely recommend getting rid of your channel subscriptions, YT history, and search history, and setting them to off so that your YT is always in "brand new" form. Do this even if you do decide to leave the YouTube detox for later. - Don't feel bad about failing. It might feel like you're not getting anywhere, but as long as you learn something about yourself every time, you're actually progressing. It might take a lot of learning before it enables you to actually detox. For example, if these friends are a bad influence, you should seriously consider distancing yourself from them.
  13. karabas

    Karabas's Journal: Part 2

    By the way, my previous video detox streak was 25 days. I'm feeling fairly confident about going past that milestone this time, God willing.
  14. karabas

    Karabas's Journal: Part 2

    Day 19-20/120 |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Pomodorro Lvl 2 (56/100) Sleep before 12am: 8 (longest previous streak: 4) No phone in washroom 22/120 Umra resolutions: 7/90 Work Hours: 4:20 (Thursday), 1:00 (Friday) (25:30 this week) Thursday ended up being slightly less "productive" because I went to a study group. The group itself was 2 hours, but the friend picking me up was picking up a bunch of other people, so it ended up taking closer to 4 hours. So I think it's pretty good I managed to squeeze in 4+ hours as it was. I decided to take Friday off and overall it worked out well. I managed to accomplish almost all tasks I set out for the day. However, I ended up not resting as much as I was hoping to and some stuff kept me up past midnight (even though I was ready for bed at that time), so today I ended up sleeping 3+ hours after morning prayer AND I'm still groggy and lazy. I need to try to sleep a bit earlier today - even 11:30 instead of 12:00 should make a difference. Anyway, it's salvageable: I've got less than 15 hours to go, so need to put in 7 hours or so today/tomorrow and I'll cap off yet another 40-hour week. Also, I've put in a good amount of time into developing my business. I have a lot of the marketing collateral done, so I might even have time to work on generating some content. That way I'll be able to do some sales right away in the new year. Let's see.
  15. karabas

    Karabas's Journal: Part 2

    Day 18/120 |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Pomodorro Lvl 2 (56/100) Sleep before 12am: 6 (longest previous streak: 4) No phone in washroom 20/120 Umra resolutions: 5/90 Work Hours: 7:05 (20:10 this week) Good day, got stuff done, so can't complain. Pretty much on target in terms of work hours. I'm thinking of taking Friday as my day off. I have Friday prayers anyway and that takes up at least 1-2 hours of my day as it is. No cravings.
  16. karabas

    Introduction

    Hey Nathan, Welcome to the forums! Good on you for recognizing this at 17. Wish I did! While I concur with @S1.M0NK above (if you're addicted, it's pretty much impossible to be moderate in your use of games), at the same time I think we all have to discover that for ourselves. I thought that I could game moderately for a long time, until I finally had to concede that I couldn't. But that was my deciding this for myself, which is different from someone else telling me that. We do recommend that you start with a 90-day no gaming detox and that you keep a journal. The journal is super important as it helps you track your progress and pay closer attention to your emotions, triggers, negative influences, etc.
  17. karabas

    Journey to my white coat

    Good to hear! And if you've hit 90 days before, why not try setting a slightly higher bar: maybe 120 days?
  18. karabas

    Karabas's Journal: Part 2

    Day 17/120 |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Pomodorro Lvl 2 (56/100) Sleep before 12am: 5 (longest previous streak: 4) No phone in washroom 19/120 Umra resolutions: 4/90 Work Hours: 5:35 (13:05 this week) Went to bed exactly at midnight and so rescued my early sleep streak. Sleep's been good so far - time for morning prayer ends late, past 8am (it's winter), so I get 7.5-8 hours of uninterrupted sleep in if I'm in bed by midnight and it's great. I haven't napped during the day and have been alert and motivated. Less hours worked for the day, but it's not a problem since I was taking care of my wife who isn't feeling well and spent 90 minutes on the phone with my parents. Considering I talk to them like once a month (they're all so busy), I'm fine with losing some work hours over it. Also, my goal for each day is 6:40 minutes, because that gets me to 40hrs in 6 days and gives me a free day to hang out and catch up on sleep. So thanks to my Monday's productivity, I'm only 15 minutes short of target so far. Keep in mind, I'm also spending time with my wife AND I'm spending nearly two hours a day on prayers, going to the mosque, reading Qur'an, etc, which has helped me re-focus my life a good bit (at least so far). So I think I'm doing pretty well productivity-wise. Let's hope I can maintain this at least for the next 3 weeks. Have to have a plan for what to do during my vacation time with family come Christmas...
  19. karabas

    Fawn_xoxo daily; thoughts, goals & evaluation

    Sorry, I saw the word "bitter" in your post, maybe that's why. I also saw other people's feelings on the matter. This is probably semantics, but I don't think victimhood = lack of responsibility. Obviously we're all here because we're taking responsibility for our actions and are working towards improvement. But at the same time, it's fair to recognize that there are literally trillions of dollars being spent on keeping people like us glued to screens (whether for games, videos, facebook, or whatever other form of entertainment), not out of some nefarious conspiracy theory, but because it makes money. So when the trillions win over human psychology, I think it's fair to recognize that I or some other person is a victim, but for me it almost becomes a battle cry to never succumb to this crap again. Anyhoo... glad you don't have ill feelings towards your gaming friends. Disappointment... yeah, I hear you.
  20. karabas

    JustTom's Journal 2: Summer Edition

    Glad it's working for you and that you're enjoying the process man 🙂 You've got this!
  21. karabas

    Fawn_xoxo daily; thoughts, goals & evaluation

    I think you should look at it differently. It might help with getting over the resentment and other ill feelings towards them: At the end of the day, these guys are also victims. They're victims to the technology that's keeping them sucked into this crap day after day, hour after hour. You were there before, you know what it's like. You've had the realization that this is a waste of your life recently - maybe these guys will have the same realization tomorrow, or in a week/month/year/decade. But right now they're sucked into their virtual worlds, just like you were not too long ago. You also probably know well enough how gaming can destroy your relationships with the closest people to you in your life - your parents, siblings, significant other, friends, etc. It certainly made me a crappy husband, son, and brother. Did you care about those people when you were gaming? Probably yes. Probably a lot. But you cared about gaming more because it took over your life. So that's what these gamer friends are doing now - it's not that they don't care, it's more that they're completely sucked into their virtual worlds and forget what's going on on the outside. When you're in the world with them together, they see you and interact with you. Otherwise, they don't interact. I'm saying this because I did a similar thing to many of my friends. I was involved with a religious leader who was psychologically abusive. I was convinced to move to his community and live there for 2 years, always running around and doing this thing or that thing for him or for the community. I barely slept and had no life except as part of the community. I ended up very abruptly disappearing on many of my friends. I regretted it even while I was doing it, but I was so sucked into this whole thing that I just didn't have a minute to spare on anyone else. When I finally got out, I tried re-establishing contact with a lot of these people. Most of them didn't want to talk anymore. Some of them ignored me completely. I'm pretty sure I hurt a lot of them. But the thing is, I never stopped carrying about them - it's just that I was completely overwhelmed by an external factor. So my point in saying all of this, is that it's easier to look at your gaming friends with compassion. Understand what they're going through, let go of the hurt, but also distance yourself from them since they're not a good influence in your life. And if at some point some of them have the realization you had, decide to quit gaming, and reach out - be there for them. Aside from being the "higher road", this is also just easier to deal with long-term than resentment built up towards a whole bunch of people.
  22. karabas

    Journey to my white coat

    Nice! You're making me miss bio. Stem cell differentiation and immunofluorescence was my jam at my last research job. Glad to hear you're back in the saddle! Are you off of games again?
  23. karabas

    Karabas's Journal: Part 2

    Day 16/120 |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Pomodorro Lvl 2 (56/100) Sleep before 12am: 4ish (longest streak: 4) No phone in washroom 18/120 Umra resolutions: 3/90 Work Hours: 7.5 I'm cheating a bit with the sleep before 12am thing because technically I went to bed slightly after 12. But it was a bit out of my hands and I wasn't staying up and procrastinating, which is what I'm trying to avoid. Either way, no cheats today or I lose the streak (otherwise I'll be at 5 days, which would mean beating my previous streak!). Did a lot of work today, including spending 90 minutes on working on my business idea. I'm finding more and more that I can't stay motivated if I don't do something about it. If I maintain this level of work on it, I think I should have enough stuff ready to hit the ground running in January (I'm not setting up a company until then to avoid doing extra taxes for this year, so I need to leave my expenses until then as well). Cravings were pretty minimal, aside from when I had to watch a youtube video for work: I nearly forgot about my detox and watched an unrelated video, but I held myself back. I need to restart my pomodorros at some point, but I'm not feeling it at the moment... Yeah, that's probably all it is.
  24. karabas

    JustTom's Journal 2: Summer Edition

    Careful man, sleep deprivation is one of the main causes of relapse (in my experience anyway). If it's crunch time, I'd ditch non-essential tasks until it's over to maximize sleep. As long as what you're ditching doesn't ruin your mood and make you more likely to relapse, of course 🙂
  25. karabas

    Karabas's Journal: Part 2

    Day 15/120 |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Pomodorro Lvl 2 (56/100) Sleep before 12am: 3 (longest streak: 4) No phone in washroom 17/120 Umra resolutions: 2/90 Work Hours: 6 First proper work day. I struggled a bit. Maybe it's the nearly two weeks of not doing any work. Or the fact that I'm still sick (caught something as we were departing Saudi). Either way, couldn't focus very well or get myself to really dedicate effort to work. Also, my Umra resolutions take about 2 hours or even more every day, so that's an added filler to the day. Which I don't mind - I should be able to squeeze in that much time into my days. Feeling good so far. Not much in terms of cravings for videos or games. Yeah, it was definitely a worthwhile retreat. I'm curious to see how motivated I am too! Some of the effects are already wearing off (unfortunately), but some are going strong, so let's see. The thing is, this detox and these journals are somewhat spiritual in and of themselves. It's quite startling how much they resemble medieval Sufi writings that discuss things like leaving sins or rectifying your character (controlling anger, jealousy, etc): almost all Muslim schools of spirituality (who source their ideas from the scriptures & the practice of the Prophet peace be upon him) recommend taking account of your day every day, setting "detox" goals for the action you want to leave or inculcate (usually 40 days), consulting with more experienced practitioners, leaving friends who prevent you from progressing, replacing bad actions with neutral ones, etc. And they talk about the fact that being on the path is what's important, the results come from God. So if you fail, you pick yourself up, restart, and keep going. I've literally heard all of this on these forums before. So I think a lot of it just infusing the detox with a spiritual outlook. But I think that comes down to your overall beliefs: what you believe will happen when you die affects how you live and that affects your spiritual outlook. So worth the time investment 🙂
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