Show the world you're a Game Quitter. Grab a hoodie.


  • Content count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won


Bugg last won the day on March 12

Bugg had the most liked content!

Community Reputation

51 Excellent

About Bugg

  • Rank
  • Birthday 09/26/90

Recent Profile Visitors

94 profile views
  1. I personally think it's a great idea. Like you say; often questions get lost in the journals. It would be a great place to spark conversation outside of the journal space, and of course, a great place to ask questions.
  2. Welcome and congratulations on taking the first step! It's not an easy journey, (I'm only on day 16) but I hope you find it worthwhile. You mentioned that you will wait for the snow to melt in order to do some outdoor hobbies, can you think of anything you might like to do indoors too? I think that will help a lot of the days when leaving the house either isn't an option, or is just too hard. I struggle to even motivate myself to leave the house somedays, but having lots to do indoors helps to keep my mind away from games. I also sold my playstation, which helped a lot. Now I enjoy learning guitar and German when I'm indoors, and journalling here of course. I also have an indoor workout routine so that I have less excuses not to do it. If staying at home is too much of a trigger for you, maybe you need to find indoor places to go that are out of the house (coffee shops etc?). I have a lot of experience with diets, but this is from a background of disordered eating rather than just weight loss. The therapy I undertook for this taught me some important lessons. My advice would be to scap any sort of fad diet as they aren't sustainable long term. The best ways to make change are to focus on lasting changes, if you can implement small changes into your routine that are acheiveble, then this is the best way in my opinion. An example would be to start off eating a healthy breakfast each day (I love oatmeal in cold weather and museli in warm.) If breakfast isn't your thing maybe aim for a healthy lunch instead. If this is too hard to do every day at first then try doing it 3 days per week and go from there. By finding a healthy lifestyle that works for you, you're more likley to stick to it. From your reply above it seems you've got this covered though :) Quitting games and getting more active is a great step to take though, and possibly one of the most important decisions you'll make to turn your life around. Perhaps it is a quick/impulsive decision, but perhaps that's also what you need right now? Change is hard, and for me at least I find that too much change at once can be overwhelming. You've made a big change in quitting games, perhaps just give that some time to settle, get used to some new routines, and then think about what else you can introduce to make your life more fulfilled? And of course, good luck!!!
  3. Meditated. My mind was very busy and hard to calm today. Gratitude; 1. Blue skies 2. Green leaves 3. Fluffy clouds 4. This beautiful notebook 5. Peace and quiet 6. Birdsong 7. Cold, fresh water 8. A comfy bed 9. Little Pip 10. My favourite teddy. I sometimes notice a tendency in my mind to want to contrast the gratitude list with a list of negative things I want to change or cope better with ... I realise that defeats the purpose of setting my mind into a place of positivity and gratitude. It's certainly not a tendency I allow to drift within my thoughts for long. But an observation none-the-less. Update: Despite my stupor I got up and danced, and enjoyed it. Then my calendar reminded me to practice some German, so I did that too. That was really hard work given my difficulty concentrating at the moment, but I'm glad that I did it anyway. I wrote a quote in my paper journal and then doodled a mandala for a while, whilst singing a little. I love to sing. I haven't had a proper sing in a very long time. Perhaps I need to schedule that in too. My calendar then reminded me to practice guitar, so I did that too. Motivating myself to play is always difficult, but the playing in itself if almost always a pleasure; I'd do well to remember that. I guess the more I play the easier it will be to motivate. I definitely do feel better now, and much more ready to face work later on. The quote for reference: ''The thought manifests as the word, the word manifests as the deed, the deed develops into habit and habit hardens into character. So watch the thought and it's ways with care, and let it spring from love, born out of concern for all beings. As the shadow follows the body, as we think so we become.'' - Dalai Lama I've had that quote on my wall for years, it's moved house with me 3 times, I found it in a book written by The Dalai Lama and I've had it scribbled on so many different pieces of paper. Now I'm embracing a more minimal life it's become time to take it down, but I shall forever remember it. Second Update: I was stood in the kitchen just now preparing an early lunch and I-kid-you-not ... for a brief moment I had a memory of having completed a mission on Borderlands and the calm and peace I'd have felt afterwards, after escaping into Pandora for a while. But, it wasn't just a memory. I was/am feeling that calm of escape, the same calm of escape I get from playing games, and I haven't touched a game. I think the game-memory was triggered by this emotion. That's pretty damn cool. So whaddya know... forcing myself to do hobbies rather than gaming ACTUALLY WORKS! Haha. No offence @Cam Adair .. I'm not implying I didn't think it would work... I'm just, surprised at how well. :P It's actually kinda spooky... I have goosebumps.
  4. Day 16. It's morning, I've had breakfast and replied to another emotional letter. So far I've not met any of my goals for the day and I'm struggling to bring myself out of this slump I'm finding myself in. I have work later today, which I'm not looking forward to either - but hopefully the issues at work will pass soon and then I can at least enjoy that again. I am at the very least going to meditate. I'm not sure I have the energy to work out so instead I'm going to put on some music and dance like a crazy person for a while, hopefully that will help shake some of this nervous energy. As for my other goals, we will see.. baby steps. At least I'm not gaming. Silver linings. I obviously knew I had an issue with gaming, otherwise I wouldn't be here in the first place, but I didn't actually appreciate just how much of a release it had been for me. In the past when I've felt like this sure I'd have wallowed for a while, and struggled and stressed, but ultimately I'd have put on a game, gotten lost for a while, and I'd have felt much much better, temporarily at least. I never truly appreciated the extent to which that rung true for me. Until now at least. I won't give in.
  5. @marcopolobus Thanks, that makes sense. I guess the catharsis is one of the reasons for journaling in the first place.
  6. Hey, it's awesome that you're still fighting your cravings and moving forwards :)
  7. @Philipp Thank you. I hope so. @Regular Robert You reminded me, I'd meant to say in my post but forgot; I allow myself to cry because, as I learnt just before I had a nervous breakdown last year, when I repress emotions that are so strong, this quickly escalates into a panic attack, and those are far worse than the tears, especially in public. I wish I was stronger in general, more resilient and less reactive to stress, but I guess a silver lining is in at least knowing my limits. You're right though, I really do need to put more effort into acceptance. It's something I do consider on an almost daily basis. Random entry as inspired by Roberts comment Even as a gamer I knew the pain was there, but it was sometimes easier to block out - even so it would still emerge at times, so I guess what I'm trying to say is that this experience is unfortunately nothing new to me. I need to develop new strategies for dealing with it though. I've come so far in life already to relinquish maladaptive coping strategies, including self-harm, drugs, alcohol, binge-eating, starving myself and of course, playing video games. Working on effective and healthy strategies, that is the work in progress. I surrender one strategy only for another to emerge. The answer; to confront the root cause. In practice it's never that easy. But, I have hope. I do worry about the level of my honesty here, not just because others are reading, but in the nature of some of my writing and how it affects my own perception of myself. And I have these same worries in my paper journal too - probably more so as the writing is more personal. When I write about the bad days or think darker thoughts, I worry this puts my mind into some sort of victim mentality. When I consider my past I think of how difficult it has been at times, I never consider myself a victim, but it does make me really sad to think of those things. I guess I worry I'll just end up feeling sorry for myself. Hmm, I'm not sure that actually makes any sense. Random thought regurgitation over.
  8. Day 15. Probably won't journal a lot today, I'm in a really low mood and I don't want to start rambling in some depressive state if I'm honest. I'm pretty embarrassed about my honesty in 'not being enough' although I won't delete it, it's there now. I just don't like to be this way. I like to be the 'Happy bubbly Bugg' my friends know and love. I guess I'm just really fed up, worried about my future, nothing new. I won't game tonight though, but I don't have the energy for anything else either really. I cried in work yesterday, that was so ridiculously embarrassing, I know I shouldn't feel shame in those emotions, but I do, that's tied up in a whole lot of history. I hadn't cried for ages before that incident, and now I'm sat getting all tearful again at home. Gratitude: 1. Sunshine 2. Blue Skies 3. Birdsong 4. Oatmeal 5. Mindfulness 6. Game Quitters 7. The Minimalists 8. Cold, fresh water 9. Trees 10. A world more open to veganism
  9. @giblets Thanks, I guess that's a good way to look at it, I think there are many things about myself that are less about changing, and more about accepting, but I certainly can see the merits in your idea. @Regular Robert Thanks, I don't feel like I'm really making much progress at the moment if I'm honest, but maybe you notice things I don't. In response to the comment about my highly conscious progress... I'm just a thinker, I've always analysed myself anyway, and I've had a paper journal habit for well over a year now, so maybe that part just comes naturally, I dunno.
  10. @giblets I'll look forward to ep14 :P The skipping seems to occur when an interview is about to begin, it doesn't happen on laptop only my ipod classic and can't be a streaming issue as I'm offline, I have already downloaded it and I am listening from local :P There must be a tiny discrepancy in the recording when it switches to a where a new audio file is added and my iPod is picking up on it for some reason and having trouble. It's ok tho, when it skips I just go back and find the point where it's having trouble and I start from 10 seconds after that point, then it continues as normal. Hahah, yeah, that is pretty pretentious! :P
  11. Day 14... 2 weeks? I've been away for the weekend and unable to journal, but I'll do a quick update as I did keep a few notes on my phone. Left off at Day 10, but forgot to say how much I enjoyed seeing my friend perform in Beauty in the Beast, twas indeed a lovely evening. Stuff like that always makes me a little sad though that I'm still not confident enough to do that for myself, but I'm still looking for a theater group I can join. I'm hoping I can find something once I move up North, or even just get the confidence to play guitar or sing in front of others at an open mic or something. I've noticed since giving up games and trying to be more productive, I've definitely felt more rushed, not sure if I'm trying to cram too much into my days, or if I'm just not used to actually doing things. The transition from a paper schedule to a digital once is probably contributing. I watched a cool video about using writing to heal yourself, there was an interesting exercise about writing your own eulogy; what would you want people to say.. that's the person and the life you should strive for.. it can help you to work out what you truly want in life. So. Day 10 was Thursday. I spend Day 11 Friday helping my mum to make the buffet for her birthday party in the evening so this was a pretty busy day; I still meditated but didn't practice any German. The party on the night was really good; I didn't drink too much despite having near unlimited access to alcohol (I stopped at 3 glasses of wine) but did eat waaaaay too much buffet food. I got to catch up with loads of relatives and old family friends I hadn't seen for years, and my best friend came along to say hi too.. he did give me a Pokémon game as a present though, but I'm not playing it while I'm on the detox at least. Day 12 Saturday I meditated and practiced German, went to visit my Nanna in the home where she stays and then spend the rest of the day chilling with my mum watching movies and some YouTube together.. I've been trying to introduce The Minimalists into her life as she has soooooo much clutter. Day 13 Sunday I traveled all day to come home, meditated and practiced some German, listened to podcasts for most of the day (Game Quitters and The Minimalists) and watched a movie. And here I am at day 14. 2 weeks already. Wow. I'm still having cravings to game but over the weekend the urge to watch Netflix was stronger, I think because I know games are off limits but Netflix isn't.. I'm questioning myself.. Do I need to give Netflix up too? I know the sensible answer is yes, but I really enjoy anime and there's still so much I'd like to watch. Anime is another big passion alongside games, and to give that up too.. I'm not sure if that's too much all at once. Plus I love watching the natural world documentaries on there too.. I dunno. Moderation is hard. While I was on the coach yesterday I was also having some pretty crappy thoughts, I don't know why they surfaced then, maybe just too much time to sit and think, but I wrote a thing to get them out of my head. These thoughts are so common they practically keep me company. Not enough. Not cool enough, not smart enough, not funny enough, not dumb enough, not adhd enough, not thin enough, not fit enough, not sick enough, not anxious enough, not depressed enough, not gay enough, not male enough, not addicted enough, not kind enough, not selfless enough, not compassionate enough, not sustainable enough, not talented enough, not committed enough, not determined enough, not strong enough, not wise enough, not loving enough, not productive enough. Not good enough for greatness. Not hopeless enough for help. Not perfect. Nothing. And what it comes down to is perfection. So long as I'm not perfect I can't consider myself anything at all. And that sucks. But, I know in reality none of that is true. So what if my brain is sometimes of the opinion that I'm not good enough... opinions aren't fact. I try hard each day to push those thoughts out, and for the most part I manage pretty well, but sometimes they're just there like a waterfall crashing down over me and all I can do is to just sit with them and wait for them to pass. So that's why I wrote them down anyway. This morning I'm feeling better, I've got loads of chores done and I'm about to have lunch. I've meditated but I know it's unlikely I will have time to meet my other goals for the day. I've given myself permission to be ok with that. Sometimes we genuinely are too busy with life, and that's fine. Oh yeah gratitude: Friday: 1. Dog cuddles 2. My mum 3. Warmth 4. Cups of tea 5. Tofu 6. Ability to retreat indoors 7. Youtube 8. A patient and understanding family 9. My childhood bedroom 10. A warm place to sleep. Saturday: I totally forgot :S Sunday: 1. My mum 2. Mum's dogs 3. Rainbows 4. Central heating 5. Instant hot water 6. Cups of tea 7. Beauty of the snow 8. Public transport 9. Warm coat 10. Warm socks. Monday: 1. Mindfulness 2. Being productive 3. The beauty of the natural world 4. My own bed 5. My little kitchen 6. Little Pip 7. A work/life balance 8. My onesie 9. Cups of tea 10. Cumin
  12. Day 10 Quick update. I'm on a coach today for 12 hours so just gonna sit back to some podcasts, music, movies, meditation and chillin. I'll do some German tho xD Dunno how much I'll post this weekend since I'm visiting family and my phone doesnt like the forum too much. Yesterdays gratidute: 1.Good health 2. Little pip 3. Access to clean water 4. Good, healthy food 5. The internet 6. Music/guitar 7. My family 8. Patience 9. Empathy 10. Nature (Pip is my hamster ^.^) Todays gratitude; 1. The dawn chorus 2. Busses on time 3. Perfectly timed mornings 4. Open minds 5. Coach travel 6. Sage tea 7. A loving family 8. Clear skies 9. Fresh air 10. Patience
  13. Have you spoken to your friends yet about what you're doing? I'm interested because I'm on day 9 now and I've only told a few very close friends, but I would find it much harder if I had people coming here to game or watch game related streams. You've done amazingly though to get through day one with that level of temptation, congrats!! and good luck going forwards! :)
  14. Random note: I completely forgot, when I was in the store selling my ps4 'I miss you' by Blink 182 was playing. Twas a surreal moment. I don't think I'll listen to that song the same again :P But then all was well again when it was followed by 'Cemetery Gates' by Pantera.
  15. Welcome, and good luck! :)