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About karabas

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  1. @Natelovesboardgames: thanks, I'll check it out! I have a strong suspicion a LOT more people are dealing with this stuff than they let on. JoshD, good going man! But don't let up on the journal - it's a key part of this :)
  2. I like the productive hours stat. I might steal it from you. So no, you're not overdoing it. It's great to keep track. Congrats on crushing the day :) Hopefully many more to come! And hey, you're almost at 2 weeks!
  3. Day 4/90 Bedtime (yesterday): ~3:00 Woke up: 12:30 I seem to be failing at proper sleep habits, but a lot of it is due to the fact that my schedule is currently irregular. We're flying for our trip tomorrow and there's still a lot to figure out. On top of that, I'm trying to finish up some stuff work-wise. But I told my clients I'm traveling, so I'll be work-free, and we have to pick up a relative from the airport on Sunday early morning, so we kinda have to fall in line in terms of early sleep tomorrow... at least I hope. This is the biggest crux of my getting my life in order, after quitting games/vids. Cravings: practically none. So far this has been easy... and it's kinda worrying me. Why is something I've struggled with so much suddenly so easy? Will it stay this way? I do catch myself having impulses to game or watch something, but it's kinda like swatting a fly away, it's not just a peep on the monitor and then it goes away. I'll be monitoring these - I think that once they no longer happen is when the detox has really worked, even if it takes more than 90 days. Productivity: I've been able to do some work today, but with the late start today and packing/planning for the trip, I wasn't able to get as much done in that sense. Still, I feel like I didn't really waste that much time today and overall it's great! My biggest time waster is now Facebook. I try to keep my phone in the bedroom during the day, but I still check it on my laptop occasionally. I really should log myself out - and I'm planning to do that at least for Ramadan (just a month away), but hopefully earlier. Feelings: a bit anxious about the trip (I always am), otherwise good! Minor habits: Morning/evening spiritual routine: check Religious study routine: 2 day streak Career-related study routine: 4 day streak Personal to-do list: 4 day streak Major Habit - Sleep by 12am: FAIL Thanks man. Yeah, it's tough, and I still don't get nearly as much done. I always aim for going to bed early, but then something happens and I stay up. But what that means is that after 12am, I'm not super productive, but I still end up going to bed late. Really need to get this straight, but hopefully our travels will force us to.
  4. Day 3/90 Bedtime (yesterday): 3:30 Woke up: 1:30 I was so exhausted today I slept through my alarm, which is pretty shrill. I guess I needed the sleep. Today's been another one of those days. I had urgent tasks like taxes and prepping for my trip and I barely got anything else done. I'm realizing I need to do better with these personal tasks in terms of staying organized. When it comes to work, I'm good about taking breaks via Pomodorro, keeping track of time, doing non-computer stuff. But when it comes to personal stuff, I normally don't spend this much time on it, so when I have to, I just kinda work. And the worst is I don't focus, I just jump between tasks and it's super disorganized. Cravings: very little. I had to keep my phone with me today, so I ended up doing some Facebook, which means I watched some videos there. That wasn't part of my detox plan, so I'm letting it slide, but I need to get off of Facebook anyway. I've been meaning to for some time. The news just make me depressed. Also, the Expanse Season 3 is out and I'm a big fan, so that was a bit tempting, but I'm settling for reading recaps instead. That's how I stopped myself when I was binge-watching Lost on Netflix a few years back. Productivity: it was OK, just chaotic. But I got a lot of stuff done and tomorrow should be a proper work day. Looking forward to it! Also, I really AM going to bed soon now, so hopefully I'll push my bedtime by another hour towards my goal of 12am. Feelings: happy the day's over, looking forward to tomorrow! Minor habits: Morning/evening spiritual routine: check Religious study routine: 1 day streak Career-related study routine: 3 day streak Personal to-do list: 3 day streak Major Habit - Sleep by 12am: FAIL (but getting closer!)
  5. Good work! I find it hard to control my cravings when I'm sleepy. I also cannot do the whole all-nighter thing anymore, must be getting old. So good on ya!
  6. Congrats on getting this detox going! I can totally relate to this. I noticed that I'd always get cranky if my wife would come into my office when I was gaming. I wouldn't want her to see it, so I'd switch my screen to something else like my email. But I'd be waiting for her to leave the entire time and it'd annoy the crap out of me. And obviously she could feel it. So one of the things that has happened since I quite gaming was that I no longer have this attitude to her. In fact, I do the opposite: now when I need to take a break from or whatever else it is that I'm doing, I go to her and chat or give her a hug or or a kiss or something. And I feel like it's already making a difference in our relationship. I'd definitely recommend spending time with her when you have cravings, especially since she knows you've decided to do it. At the end of the day, it's the most important relationship your life.
  7. Day 2/90 Bedtime (yesterday): ~4:30am Woke up: ~10:00am Yeah, today was a write-off in everything but keeping away from games and vids. I had to wake up early for a doctor's appointment, then had a bunch of errands and the like to do. I got home in late afternoon and was completely exhausted. On top of that, I still have a bunch of stuff I had to do outside of work: taxes, prepping for the trip, etc. So I spent the rest of the day either doing those things or procrastinating and trying to keep myself from relapsing. Cravings: moderate. I'm definitely far more vulnerable to these when I'm tired. I think what happens is that any serious task becomes difficult and requires focus since I'm sleepy. As a result, my craving for distraction kicks in. However, I did avoid the worst of it by doing non-game stuff. For example, a dream of mine is to buy some agricultural land and build a house on the property. So I like browsing through property advertisements online, looking through the pictures, etc. Productivity: It depends on how you look at it. I didn't work very much today (or the day before... or the day before that). But I got a lot of urgent personal tasks out of the way, so hopefully that's something. And honestly, I was so tired, I'm just glad I didn't relapse. Also, it's 2:08am right now and I'm gonna head to bed soon, so I'm going to bed a lot earlier. Hopefully this is a start in the right direction. Feelings: I'm just tired. Otherwise, happy with being able to restrain myself despite the fatigue. I've got hope for this detox! Minor habits: Morning spiritual routine (check) - although I made it up later in the evening cuz I was in a rush to the doctor Religious study routine (fail): no way I was going to restart this today Career-related study routine (2 day streak): I actually used this as "good distraction" when I was feeling cravings Personal to-do list (2 day streak): I spent way more than 30 minutes on this today... and probably will tomorrow, too. Major Habit - Sleep by 12am: FAIL
  8. That's the spirit! "I get knocked down, but I get up again, ain't nothin gonna keep me down" stuff going on there :) Honestly, that's the most important part: to be able to get up from a setback and just keep going. And yeah, def. Vids are a huge problem along with games.
  9. Why is selling consoles a risky move? If you're aiming to quit gaming for good, then there's no reason to keep them around. And honestly, they're such a waste of time. You can always entertain yourself in other ways, but those ways won't suck up your life like games can.
  10. Thanks guys. I started the 90 detox and I did decide to include videos in it, because I feel like for me it's part of the same problem. At the core, I think my big problem is avoiding focus-heavy tasks (like those at work). It's very hard for me to stay focus for any amount of time and forcing myself to do it makes me very prone to wanting a distraction. Gaming and videos are the same to me in this sense. Although I do agree - I've gamed for 24 hours straight before, but I've never watched videos that long. Games definitely can hold you glued to the screen a lot longer. But I think my addiction is really to that distraction from tasks and I need to work on lengthening the amount of time I can sit and work on something without distraction. I can do it with no problem for things I enjoy, but as soon as it comes to a task that I don't like (or that I'm ambivalent about), it suddenly takes me forever. It's not even just on the computer - whenever I had to move (like at college at the end of the semester), I'd inevitably take far too long. I hate packing with a passion, and so I end up putting a few items in the box and then going to watch videos or something. The other thing is, while it's definitely easier to combat one addiction at a time, there is very little positive feedback from quitting just one. I still end up wasting hours upon hours and feeling like crap about myself. Whereas my state right now, in my second day of the detox, is pretty upbeat because everything I've done during the day was important for me in one way or another. Let's see how it works out. I've been trying to fix this for probably about 6 years or so, so I'm fairly open to trying something, seeing where it failed, and adjusting strategy :)
  11. Day 1/90 Bedtime (yesterday): ~4:30am Woke up: ~3:30pm Comments: I went to bed super late because I was trying to get all this detox stuff in order. I also ended up talking to my wife for a few hours about something that was going on with her. So I'm not too upset about going to bed late. I woke up super late, partially because I had to wake up for prayer at 6:30, so I broke up my sleep into chunks. I actually woke up more around 2, but then I just lazed around the bed for another hour and a half. Overall today was a good day, but it got derailed a bit towards the end. I had a bunch of things that I need to do ASAP hit me around 11pm, just as I was getting ready to wrap up for the day. As a result, it's now 4am and I'm still up. But I gotta take my wife to the doctor's tomorrow morning, so I'm waking up early. Hopefully that's enough to get me back on schedule. Cravings: practically none! They were very mild and mostly triggered by stuff like seeing a Netflix show review in the news. Productivity: boss! Up until the 11pm episode, I was on point with all my habits and other personal projects. I got some actual work done too. I didn't use a pomodorro timer, but I did use a timer and took 10 minutes off at every 20 minute mark. After 2 hours, I stepped away, had dinner, walked to a corner store for some sparkling water (I LOVE sparkling mineral water, I don't know why. It's the only water I drink pretty much). Feelings: Until I got overwhelmed by responsibilities, I felt calm and in control. It was nice. I also noticed that I paid more attention to my wife and showed her more affection, which is something I've been neglecting. And it pretty much came naturally. When you don't have games or vids to distract yourself with, suddenly you want human connection again! Another thing I'm happy about is that once I felt overwhelmed, I didn't instinctually reach for some videos or games (which is the exact thing I did just a few days ago). Power of intention! Pretty crazy. Minor habits: Morning spiritual routine (check): so far it's just a short prayer and reviewing what I memorized from the Qur'an (it's about 70 pages and I'm using spaced repetition to review all of it by doing just 30 minutes a day). I've been doing this habit for over a month now, so I'm just logging that it's continuing. Religious study routine (fail): I plan to apply to a seminary-type institution, so this is kinda essential for my future plans. I try to do 15 mins in the morning and 15 in the evening, but I messed up this night. Will try again tomorrow! I used to do this pretty regularly. Career-related study routine (1 day streak): I'm doing an online course for 15 minutes. This is a habit I had from before and broke recently. Re-instated today :) Personal to-do list (1 day streak): This is another habit I recently broke. I would dedicate 30 minutes every day to get some of my personal to-dos (like taxes, shopping, etc) done. I went way overboard today since I freaked out, ended up doing more like 3+. Major Habit - Sleep by 12am: FAIL Ok, that's it for now. Heading to bed now (It's 4:16am). Got less than 5 hours left to sleep. Yikes.
  12. Oh man, I'm sorry you broke your habit on the very first night :( What's the plan now? Will you run it for another 7 days? Watched your vlogs. I think you speak perfectly fine :) I know what you mean about feeling like you're behind, but be careful of comparing your real life to instagram. People are very good at putting filters on things. Their life may look amazing, but you don't know what it's actually like to be them. And I'm sure many of the guys who you look up to are probably upset that they aren't as successful as those even further above them. There's always somebody richer/more famous/more whatever. It's a never-ending cycle, so find where you want to be at and just do you :) But also, here's the thing: battling with yourself like you're doing with the detox is hard work and it's a hell of an experience. I've gone through tough times that set me back, but it also gave me the strength and experience that others don't have that helps me in future obstacles. So if one of these successful guys who didn't have to go through what you're going through ends up facing some massive personal challenge, they'll flounder. Whereas you will have the experience to get through it and come out alive on the other side. Think of how common it is for celebrities to suffer from addictions and how many end up dying of overdose or just ruining their lives. Lindsay Lohan made it big at a young age - and then derailed her entire career and is JUST getting back on track. At the end of the day, life's not a race. It's a marathon. I know you're comparing yourself to guys your age, but think of what you want to be like at 40 or 50 or even 80 and aim for that. With the experience you have from doing what you're doing now, you might get there before the rest :)
  13. I'm hopeful :) And yeah lol, legal break is what I'm intending. Just have to figure out what, now that I can't game or watch vids.
  14. Oh boy - I'm Muslim, but I've been there and done that. Spent two years in a mentally/spiritually abusive relationship with a religious leader. I think the key is to remember that they're not God and they don't represent God and what they teach isn't what's really true about God. For me, after I started recovering from the abuse, I was actually very thankful for going through that experience, because it made me stronger (I am more ready to go and stand up against wrongs done to myself or to others) and because it made me able to quickly detect people who are religious charlatans and run the other way. Muslims have a number of daily spiritual practices that focus on various things, but they are all rooted in our key belief, which is that God is one in all possible ways (there are not several gods, He's not made up of or divisible into parts, He's not in time or space, He's absolutely unlikely anything in His creation, etc). If you're interested in exploring those, let me know.
  15. Fair enough :) Morning/evening routines are key. Before I "relapsed" into uncontrolled gaming, I had a very good sleep schedule and it changed everything. I think it all starts with keeping the same bedtime - I'm not sure if that's possible in your case (it seems like your schedule can require you to stay up sometimes), but I'd highly recommend that as a habit. And yes, I did. I'm in day 1 :)