Jump to content

NEW VIDEO: 4 Reasons Why You Should Quit Gaming...

taichi

Journal

Recommended Posts

Days 33 - 34

The journal doesn't feel right without this day xx format ? Not that it means anything but...

 

Spent most of yesterday at my old friend's house, talked with him about my situation, did some good old yu-gi-oh. Ended up staying over.

Left his place this morning and spent the day at the care centre. Today's program was SST (social skills training), Karate, and Mindfulness Meditation.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Day 35

Slept 12 hours. Woke up with some fierce fatigue all over my body. Karate was a bit too much for me.

Made and ate lunch at home, then joined the night program at the care centre. Today's night program was Cooking.

 

In a physically shattered state like today, my usual self would have binged hard on internet poop.

Sure enough, I found myself browsing meaningless trash when I should have been leaving home.

Having something to look forward to is such a simple but effective answer to my problems.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Day 41

Met up with uni freshers year friends. Grateful that I have people to have proper chats with.

Browsed the library for something fun to read. Picked up a book by Mita Munesuke.

Body is knackered from the workout on Tuesday. Walking was painful.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Day 43

This one is a morning log.

I've been binge-watching videos quite a lot the last couple of days. Readjusted my Cold Turkey filter to include all those mindless browsing loopholes.

Also these 5+ hour video watching and smirking sessions always lead to a wank. Yesterday was 9 hours video and 2 wanks. My mood is at its lowest this morning.

 

The workout programs at the care centre are optional.

My thought behind joining in on Tuesday was that regaining physical strength was 1st priority for me.

It turns out a 1 hour workout was far outside my muscles' capacities. Walking around is still painful after 3 days.

It was simply the wrong thing to do ---- especially since I have an addiction. I can't afford to be knackered and moody half a week straight.

Edited by taichi

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Day something (probably 53)

Spent the weekend at the mountainside with family and friends.

I learnt that my cousin has abandoned his smartphone and gaming consoles because he thinks they are no good. At age 13. I am so happy about him.

It was great fun just cleaning off all the dust that had accumulated. The place we stayed at used to be my grandfather's personal workplace.

 

This has been the longest I have come without playing video games, but I don't feel like that really makes a change.

I spend most of my days in front of my computer, mindlessly entertained.

Being in front of the screen puts me in a certain dazed state, and it does not feel nice.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Today was shit. I can't see my life going anywhere nice. I feel too tired to try anything.

Here is a breakdown of why I might be feeling like shit.

I am currently very hungry.

I am feeling nauseous because I mistakenly drank tea with caffeine.

I am physically exhausted from spending  the weekend with my young and hyperactive cousin.

I am stressed out because every path that I can imagine myself taking in the future is both lonely and painful.

Because I cannot permit myself to live happily when I see the world around me turning to shit.

Edited by taichi

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I should learn to make myself happy each day.

I should also admit that the computer screen hardly ever makes me happy.

 

Edit: also wanking never makes me happy. all there ever is on the other end is regret and fatigue.

Edited by taichi

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Fuck I relapsed. Coldturkey 100-day block ended and I somehow justified "playing for a couple minutes" and the week that followed was hell.

Now I'm on a 10-year block.

Feeling like a piece of shit.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 10/10/2018 at 10:03 PM, taichi said:

I am stressed out because every path that I can imagine myself taking in the future is both lonely and painful.

Because I cannot permit myself to live happily when I see the world around me turning to shit.

Very much this again. Feeling guilt about everything.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Jumping in here because I saw your last post in the feed.

29 minutes ago, taichi said:

Because I cannot permit myself to live happily when I see the world around me turning to shit.

Stop reading the news or your FB feed. Seriously. The world isn't that bad, but you're not going to see anything good while you're consuming this stuff (because they focus on the negative). News consumption and social media have now been linked to depression in studies, so I'm not pulling this out of my butt.

On 10/9/2018 at 11:48 AM, taichi said:

This has been the longest I have come without playing video games, but I don't feel like that really makes a change.

I spend most of my days in front of my computer, mindlessly entertained.

Being in front of the screen puts me in a certain dazed state, and it does not feel nice.

It only appears that it's not having a change. Trust me, it's having an effect. If you like reading, check out the book "Mastery". It talks about how anyone practicing a skill encounters a "plateau" where practice doesn't seem to have an effect on their skill and this is where most people quit. Whereas in reality, you're improving, and if you keep going you'll notice the effects later.

I think if you ask the folks on this forum who've been going for a while, they'll tell you the same thing. My first 90 day detox didn't really do much for me. I just switched to wasting time on Netflix and YouTube. I relapsed on games right after the 90 days were over and spent a couple of weeks glued to the screen, avoiding my real-life responsibilities completely.

However, eventually I was able to completely leave games (it's been 131 days and I barely have any cravings). For a while, I still didn't feel progress because I was stuck consuming videos, but what I didn't realize was that now that I weaned myself off of games, I could focus all my efforts on weaning myself off of videos. It took 3 months, but I'm finally making progress in my video detox (30+ days).

And it's only that I've gotten rid of both of these things that I'm finally seeing the effects: more productivity, better relationship with my wife, more time for my spiritual goals, etc. I've been on this forum for nearly a year now (and trying to deal with my gaming addiction for the 10 years before that), but I'm seeing results only now.

But now looking back, I can clearly see progress, even in moments when I relapsed or failed to get anywhere with my detox. I was practicing and failing, but practice eventually yields fruit.

I'm sure you'll hear similar feedback from other folks who've been doing this for a while.

You've gone longer than you ever have without games - that's a win. You failed, that's OK. One thing I've seen to be true 100%: people who don't learn how to fail and pick themselves back up give up. People who fail, get up, fail again, get up again, and just keep going  eventually see results.

So, brush it off and keep going. You've got it and you've got an awesome community supporting you 🙂

P.S. This is a personal recommendation because I've found it crucial to my progress: sort yourself out spiritually. "Why am I here?" is the most crucial question, because it determines how you live the rest of your life. It's worth spending time contemplating.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you karabas.

On 12/22/2018 at 8:24 PM, karabas said:

Stop reading the news or your FB feed. Seriously. The world isn't that bad, but you're not going to see anything good while you're consuming this stuff (because they focus on the negative). News consumption and social media have now been linked to depression in studies, so I'm not pulling this out of my butt.

Dear me I have been doing that. Will try to minimize intake.

On 12/22/2018 at 8:24 PM, karabas said:

It only appears that it's not having a change. Trust me, it's having an effect. If you like reading, check out the book "Mastery". It talks about how anyone practicing a skill encounters a "plateau" where practice doesn't seem to have an effect on their skill and this is where most people quit. Whereas in reality, you're improving, and if you keep going you'll notice the effects later.

I think if you ask the folks on this forum who've been going for a while, they'll tell you the same thing. My first 90 day detox didn't really do much for me. I just switched to wasting time on Netflix and YouTube. I relapsed on games right after the 90 days were over and spent a couple of weeks glued to the screen, avoiding my real-life responsibilities completely.

However, eventually I was able to completely leave games (it's been 131 days and I barely have any cravings). For a while, I still didn't feel progress because I was stuck consuming videos, but what I didn't realize was that now that I weaned myself off of games, I could focus all my efforts on weaning myself off of videos. It took 3 months, but I'm finally making progress in my video detox (30+ days).

And it's only that I've gotten rid of both of these things that I'm finally seeing the effects: more productivity, better relationship with my wife, more time for my spiritual goals, etc. I've been on this forum for nearly a year now (and trying to deal with my gaming addiction for the 10 years before that), but I'm seeing results only now.

But now looking back, I can clearly see progress, even in moments when I relapsed or failed to get anywhere with my detox. I was practicing and failing, but practice eventually yields fruit.

I'm sure you'll hear similar feedback from other folks who've been doing this for a while.

Needed a day for this one to sink in, but you are very utterly right. Games are hardly on my mind right now. Still a long way to go, but I made a step.

On 12/22/2018 at 8:24 PM, karabas said:

You've gone longer than you ever have without games - that's a win. You failed, that's OK. One thing I've seen to be true 100%: people who don't learn how to fail and pick themselves back up give up. People who fail, get up, fail again, get up again, and just keep going  eventually see results.

So, brush it off and keep going. You've got it and you've got an awesome community supporting you 🙂

Thanks so much. I shall keep going.

On 12/22/2018 at 8:24 PM, karabas said:

P.S. This is a personal recommendation because I've found it crucial to my progress: sort yourself out spiritually. "Why am I here?" is the most crucial question, because it determines how you live the rest of your life. It's worth spending time contemplating.

"Revolution from Within" by Gloria Steinem sorted me out single-handedly. Quite the read.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest

Nice to hear! Dont be like those people:

For nearly a decade, stories in the Western press have tied Japan’s sexual funk to a rising generation of soushoku danshi—literally, “grass-eating boys.” These “herbivore men,” as they are known in English, are said to be ambivalent about pursuing either women or conventional success. The new taxonomy of Japanese sexlessness also includes terms for groups such as hikikomori (“shut-ins”), parasaito shinguru (“parasite singles,” people who live with their parents beyond their 20s), and otaku (“obsessive fans,” especially of anime and manga)—all of whom are said to contribute to sekkusu shinai shokogun (“celibacy syndrome”).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Found myself faintly daydreaming about games just now.

 

Yesterday I moved my PC back on to my sitting desk (it was in a standing pc setup since last month), for need to write a certain short essay.

Sitting in front of my PC slid me into that very farmiliar state of "I want more", and my YouTube consumption was at a unsettlingly high pace this morning.

Being reminded of how utterly fucked up my brain is.

Although my legs are quite fucked up too... Ought to return to my standing setup.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...