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  • Birthday June 12

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  1. Last entry I've done it. 90 days without gaming, today. In the beginning, I was not sure I could pull it off. But each day of these last 3 months taught me a little bit about my own strength and my own capabilities. The effort was totally worth it. I feel I'm a better person now, I fell I've grown a lot in this period, more than I've done in the last few years, probably. I feel I've come to know myself a lot better. Not fully. Not completely. But much, much more. I'm far from done with my journey, though, and I'm entirely conscient of that. In fact, this is merely the beginning. The end of the first page of a book I'm as much of a reader as I'm a writer. This week has begun with the strongest craving I felt during the entire detox process. I resisted it, but for very, very little. I even got to download the game I was craving to play. But I didn't install it. I told myself that I'm not ready, that I would probably end up binging and relapsing. Part of me was telling myself that it was going to be OK, that it would be just one hour each day, or that it could even be only during the weekends. My addicted brain was negotiating with myself and I know I can't trust it when it comes to games. Then I promised myself I will get to play that game after I've done with my most immediate objective, which is to conclude and present my thesis. I'm not sure if I'm going to fulfill that promise, though. After such a strong urge to play, I don't know if I can ever play responsibly. I fear a relapse as much as I fear death, now. Anyways, I've managed to go through it unscratched. Speaking of my thesis, I've been doing good progress on it. It has taken a good shape, the subject is getting clearer for me, I've got a lot of material and some good thoughts on it set on paper. Soon enough I'll finish the project and submit it to my advisor. I was planning to do it this week, but external things took priority over it. It's OK, such is life, and I have plenty of time, yet, provided that I don't waste it away procrastinating, and I've been managing to steer procrastination away quite well those last two weeks. I'm confident I can do it this next week or at the beginning of the other at most. I will deliver my thesis at the end of the semester, no matter what. I'm confident about it more than I ever was, and this time is not merely wishful thinking, I have concrete work a hand to empirically base my confidence on. GF is a little stressed out with the celebrations of her graduation and I've been trying to support her as much as I can. Mother is also doing her best to help her. But I think what really is bothering GF is the uncertainty about her future. No work at sight, no masters course, she's suddenly seeing herself with a lot of time at hand, something she hasn't had in a long time. I need to try and influence her to make the best use of her time. I've got a bunch of books for her to read and I may set up schedules for us to study together often if she agrees with it. It'll be good for both of us. I'm also starting a prep course to take TOEIC at the end of the year. My original goal was to study French, which I'm still doing with good consistency, but I'm too far away from fluency and I think to focus on getting a good score on an English language test is better right now, with aims to maybe take a post-grad or a masters degree in a foreign country in the not-so-distant future. I'm confident in my communication skills, but my grammar is somewhat poor - don't let my entries fool you, Grammarly is an amazing tool - so I have to take this prep course if I'm to attain a decent score. With this, I'm closing this journal. I'm not going to write on it anymore. I will certainly hang around the community, though, share my experiences with people here and learn with other people's experiences as well. But no further entries will be put in here. It's a page I'm closing. I intend to be more consistent in maintaining a physical journal then I have been in here. But this journal helped a lot and it has certainly been a turning point in my life. I want to thank you all that have taken part in this with me. You folks helped me a lot with your insights, with the experience and wisdom you were so kind in sharing with me. I owe you. Seriously. Whenever you need to talk, whether you want to share something, ask something, unburden, whatever, just PM me, or @ me in your post. I'm here for you. We do this together, we unlock our lives, we take it back from gaming together. “Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power.” - Lao Tzu Onward.
  2. Grandes vitórias são feitas de inúmeras vitórias pequenininhas. Boa sorte na preparação e que corra tudo bem na apresentação. Força, cara.
  3. Slowly but surely I've been correcting my sleeping and waking up times with success. Thing is: now and then I have to completely throw my sleeping schedule out of the window, generally because of some social event, and it's really hard for me to come back to it. Oh, well... life is like that. Other than that, I feel I'm being slightly more productive each day. I changed my working environment for a while, and that gave me a big boost. I feel like I have to do that from time to time. Will keep it short today. Onward.
  4. Minor bumps I've been sleeping late, getting up later than I should and missing out a part of my morning, which makes me less productive. I have to correct that soon. Other than that, I've been mostly ok those days, doing some work and getting some progress. Not as much as I would like, but some is better than none. I have to remember that less than 3 months ago I was coming out of the gaming whole. I'll not fix decades worth of mistakes and addiction in just a couple of months. This is just the BEGINNING. A good one. I'm thankful for having found Cam's work and for being able to share the load with this amazing community. I don't say those things as often as I should, I don't express my gratitude and my appreciation of people as much as I would like to, this is something I also have to improve. I didn't follow-up with plans I laid down on the last entry, but I'll do it tomorrow, without fault. GF has no academic activities to do, so she'll come to my place and we'll study together. I hope I can get a hitchhike on her work ethic and be really productive tomorrow. Onward.
  5. Glad to have been of any help! If you ever want to talk about it, PM me.
  6. It's working! Not a perfect day, today. Neither yesterday. Still, good days. Did quite some work, completed a good amount of tasks. Had a date with GF yesterday, that's why I missed the entry. My general feeling is that, although I have plenty of room to improve the management of my time and my work, setting up a strict daily routine is really working great! If anything, I procrastinate a lot less and I use my prime time, during the mornings, a whole lot more effectively. Afternoons are still a drag for me, but even that is improving. Next things I'll do to try and be even more effectively are: 1) Break down my daily tasks even further, so that they are easier to manage and measure; 2) Organize further my working environment and find optional places I can work at, to add variety and maybe improve my afternoon output; 3) Separate my projects into different notebooks and give them priorities and schedules of their own, so I can better keep track of all of them; Onward!
  7. Hahaha... nope. I just did so many mistakes that, even being a stubborn jackass, I couldn't avoid learning something. Anyway, I'm happy that something I write can be of help.
  8. Cara, eu pessoalmente acho que contar os dias é menos importante do que ter a consciência tranquila. Você vive o seu cotidiano, é onisciente de si mesmo. Sabe quais pressões enfrenta, quais motivos te levam a isso ou àquilo. Além do mais, pelo que venho testemunhando aqui no fórum, é muito difícil lutar várias batalhas ao mesmo tempo. Você está indo bem na luta contra os jogos, foque na sua vitória contra eles. Agora, me parece que você tem um problema com procrastinação. Eu... bom, digamos que jogos e autopiedade me levaram a procrastinar a entrega do meu TCC por mais de 10 anos. Se eu puder te recomendar algo nessa seara que pode ser que te ajude (ajudou a mim), é um curso à distância do Coursera: https://www.coursera.org/learn/learning-how-to-learn Esse curso me ajudou a compreender a procrastinação de uma maneira mais mecânica, e me ensinou algumas técnicas para lidar com ela. Se você ainda não conhecer, recomendo fortemente, não é muito longo e nem vai te tomar muito tempo a cada semana.
  9. Calma lá, cara. Vamos analisar isso aí. Talvez tenha alguma lição aí que se possa aproveitar... Além do mais, você está há 62 dias sem jogar. Não é pouca coisa. E cada dia a mais é uma pequena vitória em si mesmo.
  10. I feel exactly the same, though I find solace in the fact that my younger self didn't do it wishing harm to its older self, he did it because he was used to, it was the only thing he knew, it was his life and changing it seemed too radical and, frankly, at times impossible for him. It was beyond him not to do it. Now, I am beyond him. It's up to me to make amends with my younger self and work extra hard to ease things for my future self. You are rocking, mate. Carry on.
  11. You have everything you need to achieve the change you want. You know what's the problem and you know how to tackle it. You have access to the resources, the time and, at least broadly, the motivation. Success thus is only a matter of commitment. The two most important things I've learned through my journey fighting against game addiction are: Do not allow yourself to be bored and idle. Seriously. Have a plan for your day, for your week and for the month, list things you want to achieve or to try, set a schedule and a time for the practice/work, and have backup plans whenever possible. Our addicted brains crave dopamine, which triggers videogame cravings whenever we are bored. And you'll be bored whenever you are idling. Have a purpose for your life. What are the things that move you? What do you care about? Why do you think other people should also care about it? Lay it out, think about it, work on it. Set up something for you to work on (and do the whole shebang: divide it into smaller, attainable tasks, set up deadlines, measure your progress, yadda yadda), something you feel you can have an impact on, something you are passionate about. In the words of Simon Sinek, "find your why". Once you have found it, focus on it. Come back to it from time to time, to reevaluate and update it. I wish you all the best on your journey. Remember you are not alone in it, do not hesitate to ask for help if you need it.
  12. Follow up It's been ok up until now. The plan is going mostly well, especially because I maintain a flexible approach to it so that I can make the most out of my time no matter what. If I'm stuck working on something, I change tasks and come back later. If I feel tired, I take a break. If I feel like working over the time schedule to stop, I do so. The important thing is to keep me motivated. And it's working. I forgot to set up a weekly goal, but I'm going to set up a reminder so that I do not repeat that mistake next week. My monthly goal is in place, though. It will be a challenge, but I'm up to it since I'm advancing it every day. Onward.
  13. Ambassador

    Journal

    Congrats on completing the detox period! Carry on your amazing work, dude!
  14. Officially starting This weekend had a lot of unexpected things going on, and I relaxed on my planning because it would not be followed for the most part, anyway. But now it has officially started. Going to bed in time, after doing an evening ritual about focusing on my next week's objectives. I lay the seeds and I plan to reap a more stable and conscientious lifestyle. This is an everyday effort and a goal in on itself. Onward.
  15. Taichi!! How's it going?? Thank you for your kind words! 😁😁😁
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