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taichi

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Day 2 - morning

Learned how to block websites from the /etc/hosts file. Blocked YouTube and Twitch for a start.

Expressed how I am feeling to my family.

Feeling a lot better already, must stay sane.

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9 hours ago, 16030669g said:

stay strong men, maybe u need to modify the environment to help u get away from this. Environment could be our biggest enemy or the strongest alliance. 

Thank you 16030669g!

My environment is looking stronger than ever. I have banished the iPhone and the Windows PC from my home.

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Day 2 - evening

Explained my situation in detail to my mother. I am grateful of her support.

Meant to go to college but ended up not going today. Body is feeling frail.

<written around 11:50 pm yesterday while forums were down>

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Day 3 - 9:50 am

Still thinking a lot about the mmo. How I could stream it and make videos about it.

A part of me thinks that is a good idea, that is the part of me that wants to play games forever.

 

Showered and had breakfast, also shaved a week's worth of beard. Must get myself to college.

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Acting on my tasks is the most relaxing thing, I suppose.

But I can't help feeling paralyzed now that my major tasks are 1) thesis and 2) job hunt. 

1) Thesis: I am utterly lost on this. Have a few books that I would like to read, but can't find in myself the energy to do that. Not even sure if I can extract a thesis from these books.

2) Job hunting: I do not possess the confidence or mental strength to expose myself to blunt evaluation. I am 2 years late on graduation (if ever) because of my own shortcomings.

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Thank you for the reply, Phoenixking.

I tried a "3 hours of games a day" thing, but found out I wasn't enjoying the game much anyway.

Must not forget how drained and dimwitted I feel after playing video games.

My body needs exercise, not sedentary pleasure.

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Have you bought the Respawn course and tried that? I feel like you could benefit from reading that and committing to it. Other than that I hope you will figure it out. Good luck 

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8 hours ago, taichi said:

Thanks. Just purchased it.

Feeling too tired right now to act on it. I'll try to do the activities worksheet tomorrow.

That's okay. You can do the whole Respawn thing at whatever pace you like, as long as you do it with focus and purpose. I quit game a while back using an addiction counselor/therapist. That laid a good foundation. I also have fought wars with myself through 3 depressions and 3 suicide attempts. I have seen a boatload of shit but that also made me hella strong! Even I, the little calloused soul that I am, am only halfway through the book after over a month. Take it slowly, that's fine. But do it. It's a major game changer. And if there's trouble, we got your back man. That's what the forum's for.

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Day 2

Updated my environment: Only 60 mins of viewpure.com per day. ColdTurkey Pro is pure gold.

*edit*

My ColdTurkey schedule is something like...

0 mins of: YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, Reddit, most other distracting stuff, game I used to play, porn sites

60 mins of: Viewpure (a compromise for the occasional need to watch a video only on YouTube.)

Edited by taichi

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