fawn_xoxo 435 Posted July 16, 2019 Author Share Posted July 16, 2019 Day 228. No games, day 23 +previous total of 176.I didn't do my 2 goals for today, reeeee!Checklistnegativity free: I had some paranoid thoughts that I dealt with properlyavoided eating animals: yes, 5 days streak afaik1 gratitude practice per day: none yet, strike that, this journal helps me remember things to be grateful about, so yes1 fruit per day: yes8 glasses of water per day: yessodas free: yes, 5 days streaksweets free: I ate icecream when I went out with friends, everything there had sugar anywaysome exercise per day: none I did some work today, I did some chores, I went out with friends and it was a lot of fun. I did have some paranoid thoughts but unlike other times I dealt with them faster and easier, with more confidence. I have been working more intensely on my self esteem, focusing on myself and prioritizing myself. I have been focused on my diet, if not on exercise yet, and keeping true to the goals and promises I made to myself about those. I am not perfect but I'm doing very well so far I think. I want to do better, but I shouldn't be extreme or go to perfectionism. I am grateful that I am doing better. It is not a given and it is not granted or guaranteed. A lot of things happen to people, things go wrong. But lately things have been looking up for me. I am thankful for that. I have been reconnecting with my values, even if they might bring me to conflict, minor at that, with people I care about. I want to achieve self expression without feeling embarrassed or ashamed that people will notice my style choices. I want to be proud for the details in my outfits and if people look, that's okay. I like pretty things, wearing them or making myself into someone prettier. Some people will not approve, especially people who prefer more usual, casual outfits or in general staying unnoticed, but that's alright. Do I need people's approval? I need my approval. This is to remind myself, I'm not 100% there yet, I'm practicing. XD Tomorrow I'm going to be social again. I don't know if my goal to exercise in the house is suitable to my character, I've avoided it for a long time. But tomorrow I have to consider those recipes so that I can buy the appropriate groceries etc. I want to eat like the people I want to look like. I want to continue getting on the scale and seeing the numbers go down. I want to be in tune with my values and goals and desires. Right now those are more appearance focused than career, but at least I have goals I feel strongly about. I need to work more and procrastinate less. Tomorrow I will try to only watch youtube while I eat and set a timer for 30'. When I take breaks from work, I should change rooms and positions. I need to distance myself from the computer even more, because the habit of being on it (because of games) is still keeping me here, away from doing more active things while I'm in the house. I need to change this and do more things in the house that don't include the computer, like reading. Little side note-thought is that although when I returned to gaming for those 3 weeks or so I had this close contact with gaming friends, almost no one has messaged me ever since I didn't show up again. We're all connected just because of the games in there, it seems, we're not real friends. It's okay, just thought to share it. People are probably immersed in the game and they don't think about me, I just notice it cause I'm no longer in there myself. I'm feeling sleepy though so off I go! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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