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Question of the week: What's your favourite quote?


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About info-gatherer

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  1. I went out with new people and I just had fun, without back-thoughts or being uncomfortable. I talked too much and was quite selfcentric but I think everyone had a good time. I feel like I’m slowly getting out of my shell, the shell I built myself. Confidence is rising, thankfully, finally... Also the confidence of doing things that I know are wrong, the confidence of non giving a damn, as it used to be...
  2. Tonight I played again. This time I didn’t like it. It wasn’t just for the pleasure or the amusement, I had this sentiment of “I want to climb the ladder” that was seeping in. Also, wifi connection problems made me get anxious. I hate to admit it but I’m not ready for moderation. I’m cutting on videogames again. Maybe one day.
  3. Hey. In the last year I played less than 15 hours total of video games. But I’m starting to consider going back, because I miss them. I’m trying to concile my passion for videogames with what I learned during this abstention journey. As of now, the experience is mostly theoric. The dire thing here is my mind, although she’s in a much better shape than, say, two-four years ago. In particular I have/had obsessive-compulsive traits, paranoia, social phobia, depression, anxiety, not to mention gaming and smoking addiction, which all took a toll on me. I have been working on fixing my life and I’m happy about where I am today, with the important exception of the social life I still am not able to develop, even if I know it would help me be happier. As of now, in the last year I never used videogames to cope.
  4. Hey. It went very good. I’ve been introducing them to the few people I know and so far we all had a good time. I just had to stop worrying. You see, the problem is that I felt like I didn’t like the contact of “two worlds that are very distant from one another”, but after allowing it to happen I feel... wholer? Anyway, we had a nice time. trigger alert
  5. I am STUCK in a situation I’d gladly avoid for the next four days. Since two hours ago I was very negative about it, also due to sleep deprivation. But then I managed to rest my head for 30 minutes and what I see clearly now is that my only chance of damage reduction is keeping a POSITIVE MINDSET. So, what happens is that a friend of mine and my sister are visiting me, and they expect me to spend one full week together, morning afternoon and evening. They arrived yesterday. I don’t know why I accepted in the first place. They’re obviously out of place here, they don’t belong here, I feel like they’re interfering with my life and feelings. Also, even if I liked the idea of them being here, I need my time alone nonetheless. So, the plan tonight is having dinner at home and then going out for drinks. I am worried, again, they’ll be out of place and they’ll make me feel out of place too. But if I keep worrying I’ll just have a terrible night. So, what I’ll do instead is trying to have a nice time and (a thing I learned lately) “let other people do the job”. I’m not responsible for them, I shouldn’t feel as an entertainer. I’ll introduce them to people, we’ll get drunk and at the end of the night I’ll go to sleep to my girlfriend’s because I’m not having another 3-people-in-a-bed night(mare) like the one we had yesterday. Thanks for reading, I really needed to type those words out. Now I feel better after venting. Checking out, i-g
  6. Both @karabas and @Silverlining have very solid advice here 🙂 Stay well
  7. So, tonight I tried playing some videogames. Last time was in July, I think, when I played some hours of Yu-Gi-Oh online. This time I played 2-3 hours on a mobile game called Mobile Legends. Honestly, I quite enjoyed the experience. Being a game without a chat, I was “safe” from the social part of it. I played two normal games, then I kept playing ranked games until I lost one. While I was playing, two friends wrote to me on Whatsapp and I didn’t answer. I made sure to reply after I finished gaming. Now I feel quite tired but emotionally better than before (I said it was a bad day for me). I don’t feel guilty and I don’t think I’ll have any cravings or play again in the next days. Overall I’m happy about it. Being an addict, I’ll however be careful about my thoughts in the coming days, because I know that this kind of behavior can be potentially dangerous (it proved to be so in the past). I’ll keep accountable here as usual.
  8. Shittiest day in a while. Tomorrow is another day though.
  9. I’m going out for drinks with people I don’t know, just posting here to give me courage
  10. Hey just dropping by to say that I’m going to a videogame-based event with a friend of mine. I don’t think that playing is involved, I think it’s more like retro vg music and gameboy related stuff. Will answer comments and give an update about my position in life in the future.
  11. Hey again, it’s 4AM so I’m just leaving a very short piece of advice about the porn section. It’s something I mentioned often in this forum because I think it’s important for people to understand. Some people appreciated it, some others didn’t, but it’s what I think anyway: porn and masturbation aren’t synonimes. Our generation - the internet generation - finds it difficult to think about one without the other. The truth is that porn is an unhealthy habit that in the worst cases can even turn into an addiction, while masturbation (not compulsive, evidently) is in my opinion a healthy thing to do. It teaches you to be confident with your body, identify with it, feel it; and at the same time fantasizing about the other (or the same) sex - real fantasizing! thinking about porn doesn’t count! - is very good for your imagination and to have a good psychological relationship with girls. And another piece of advice. I don’t know if in your relationship with girls you’re just looking for sex or instead you want to find someone to have a deep, caring bound with, but in the second case maybe you should try to see potential partners as human beings instead of “chicks” or sex dispensers; and also, if they turn out to be “cunts”, try and choose your potential partners more wisely (I really don’t mean to insult you in any way! I know you’re just venting! I just want to provide good support and advice!)
  12. This is exactly how I feel too... Thanks for sharing and finding the words... “It leaves me empty”, it’s a nice metaphor that I can relate to... I don’t know, I never lose hope, maybe that’s what keeps me sane (more or less). What is your relationship with hope, if I can ask? Do you think problems will disappear one day?
  13. Hey @BooksandTrees thanks, I appreciate it. I don’t lack things to do. I have plenty of work, I exercise, I read and watch movies, and I have this great hobby/obsession with electronic cigarettes. In general, in the last weeks/months, I also got back some of my lost confidence in my skills and professional future, so I started to see progress in my life... It’s just that, as you said, you cannot always be productive. There is downtimes, and I’d rather spend them playing videogames than surfing the net in my bed... That said, if I ever go back it has to be a rational decision. I don’t know, I’m just saying I’m considering it, weighing the pros and cons. That said, I guess that normal people like to go out in the evening. In this period of my life I even have many invitations (well... many means 1 a week or so, which is a lot to me) but... sometimes it’s social anxiety, sometimes I’m just lazy, sometimes I’m busy, sometimes I don’t feel like spending the money and I don’t go... some other times I accept and I go... and I have a good time... but, and this is my main problem... I am really not able to feel a connection... I am glad for the nice conversation and everything but I feel alone all the time, even when I’m with people... even with nice, caring and intelligent people... and when I’m back home I’m incredibly tired... As I said to silverlining a month ago, I think that my problem is the fact that I’m emotionally tired... whatever that means...
  14. For the first time in a long while I’m considering going back to gaming. I love gaming and I miss it, I manage to waste my time anyways. I’d like to game in moderation, for example in the evening, since, again, I waste my evenings anyway. I’m probably too scared to leap back in. I remember too well the self-loathing, the brain fog, the loss of control, the judgemental looks in the eyes of my loved ones, the missed opportunities, in a word: the effects of addiction. There’s one million reasons why I shouldn’t go back, but at the same time I feel like I’d like to try moderation. But I really don’t want to face the consequences of it in the case I fail.
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