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About JustTom

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  1. JustTom

    It's never over. Another afterparty journal

    Love the attitude! I wish you so much that you succeed! I'm back on the forums now so I'll be checking 🙂
  2. JustTom

    Karabas's Journal: Part 2

    This is like guiness world record worthy wow. Holidays always mess us up. Personally, I've come to dislike christmas for this reason. The association with video games is way too strong in my brain, because christmas was the first time I started playing online ever since my parents gifted me a copy of warcraft 3 as a kid. Let's get our habits back together!
  3. JustTom

    JustTom's 30-Day Challenge Journal

    30-Day Challenge Day 1 I met up with friends from school so I will count that as going out just this one time because I was unbelievably tired after working out on 3 hours of sleep AND it was late AND it was the first day AND it was socially important to show up since one of our friends will be leaving more-or-less forever. Today is day 2 and because I went to bed quite early(1am is early for me at this point lmao), I managed to get up at 9 and start functioning. I'm gonna reply to e-mails and go straight to the gym again. Thank you! Good luck to you too! I haven't been following your journal while I was gaming 12 hours per day, but I'll get to it soon! 🙂 Muscles are more for impressing myself rather than girls, but yeah 😄 I don't like leg day because it's the most exhausting one for me. It's the only day of the three that I sweat in the gym. Ew. I'll do it though, at least this month ha.
  4. JustTom

    JustTom's 30-Day Challenge Journal

    Focused on muscle parts definitely. That's the way to go even if you don't train every day. Maximum I've done personally is 5 days per week, but I don't feel like going every day is a problem. I got 4 types of days: chest+triceps, back+biceps, shoulders(this is the shortest workout) and the infamous leg day. If you just go through them sequentially, each part will have 3 days of rest, which is plenty. I only slept like 3 hours due to gaming till 6 am and having to wake up at 9 so I almost threw up in the gym after not working out for 2 weeks, but hey, I did it! The hardest part is to start 😄 I'm finally going to be super active on the forum as I used to always be. This was the worst relapse since december 2017, but I think I'm ready to move on now. Also, welcome to the forum! I see many new users on the block, maybe because of new years resolutions haha.
  5. Hello hello! This is my third journal, this time dedicated to my 30-Day Challenge. I've been gaming hardcore for the past 3 weeks due to my traditional christmas relapse. I'm not quite done gaming yet, but I'm slowly crawling my way out of the hole so I'm pulling the trigger on the challenge since there is exactly a month left until my internship starts. I've been planning to do this for a long time and now I have the perfect opportunity because my thesis internship begins in february so I have no job and no school planned for a month. The 30-Day Challenge: - Go to the gym EVERY DAY - Go out EVERY DAY Simple enough. By going out I mean doing game. The good kind. Any events, parties, dates, or just street approaching for at least an hour. If somebody reading this is wtf-ing or cringing in their head, HERE is a good introduction to what this is. Social skill is a skill like any other and needs to be practiced if one wants to achieve results. I have not been in an environment where it comes naturally so I need to step up myself and GIT GUD. As papa Tyler says, the only thing creepier than learning game is not learning game. I think for some people it's a controversial topic, but if you don't agree with this, just keep it to yourself please 😁 This challenge absolutely will require a lot of effort, overcoming resistance and willpower, BUT it is also something I am very passionate about and actually love doing. Which is in direct contrast to my university at this stage of my life, where I have to push myself to do something I don't really like and even hate at times. I am not only confident I can do it but I also think it is the most valuable thing to do in my life currently. I won't delve into my personal life too much but due to my environment, I haven't had much romantic contact and haven't developed my social capabilities until I was 23. In the past few years I've realized how much I've damaged myself by desexualizing and how much I actually value romantic contact. I've always seen great potential in myself, but because I've never really had a good opportunity(time-wise) to SERIOUSLY get into it instead of dabbling every two weeks, I've been quite sexually frustrated for a long time except occasional lucky results. Finding an amazing girlfriend is my longterm goal and the only way to achieve it is to practice, as with anything in life. Furthermore, in every period(albeit short ones) in my life that I WAS actively going out to game, weak entertainment such as video games or youtube completely ceased to exist without even trying. I will therefore not focus on 'detoxing', but rather have it naturally fade away and then continue a detox with a counter in february. Mentoring/coaching is an important aspect for success, but I'm hoping I can find skilled guys that will see my dedication and passion and will be willing to help. If not, I will consider paying for some form of coaching(these things are pretty expensive). The daily structure allows me 5-8 hours of work even if I push it really hard. In order to have somewhat-consistent sleep, I've decided to have a nightly schedule, in which I will be waking up at around noon every day, so that even if I'm out very late, I can still get in 7 hours of sleep. And if it's one of the day game days, I will just work until ~4am and get up at 12 to stay on schedule. Despite the relapsing and occasional depression, I still consider sleep to have been my biggest problem so I will be having an aide to call me in the morning in case of oversleeping again. I'll be easing into it gradually during the first week. I will update here daily, but I'll probably be brief most of the time unless I have some personal-development insight that I want to share. Going to the gym right now after writing this post to kick things off. Let's go!
  6. JustTom

    JustTom's Journal 2: Summer Edition

    Kay, the new journal is up.
  7. JustTom

    JustTom's Journal 2: Summer Edition

    Ok, so I can't for the life of me break out. Therefore, I'm setting myself a limit. I know very well moderation doesn't work. But what doesn't work even more is literally gaming nonstop. This will also let me post on this forum frequently since there is at least something I'm accomplishing, which will hopefully improve things.
  8. JustTom

    JustTom's Journal 2: Summer Edition

    @Samon Thanks I really appreciate that. I took another step in recovery and cleaned up my room. Going to bed super late, but instead of gaming I watched a TV show, so that's an improvement I guess.
  9. JustTom

    JustTom's Journal 2: Summer Edition

    I just checked the /r/stopgaming subreddit today and saw my badge - it said 90 days. It would have been 90 days today. Right now I can't even imagine how epic my life would have been had I not fallen into depression and consequently gaming right before the december exams.
  10. JustTom

    JustTom's Journal 2: Summer Edition

    Just lethargy and apathy. I just couldn't get out of it.. for a week. It's like a wall in my brain that I'm going against. EDIT: Posting here is actually an action towards progress as well, so that's two already!
  11. JustTom

    JustTom's Journal 2: Summer Edition

    I uhh, I just can't break out. I have january free and had big plans, wrote out a post for a new journal while on the plane, but as I got home, to a room where I could shut myself off and game, I did just that. I still have the post saved. Every day I'm telling myself I will start fresh tomorrow, but I never do. It's been almost 3 weeks now that I'm gaming. The first two didn't really matter, but now it's starting to hurt my opportunities. I really don't want to spend the only month that I have the opportunity to do what I always wanted to do, be spent on trying to stop gaming. I can't commit to it or take any actions. Well, I've taken one - uninstalled the game now(magic the gathering arena, if anyone's interested). But my room is a mess, I haven't started doing the research I was supposed to, I didn't get my gym membership, I didn't go out for a week, except to get groceries.
  12. JustTom

    JustTom's Journal 2: Summer Edition

    Ah well, good old holiday gaming. I'm flying back tomorrow so I'll open a new journal then.
  13. JustTom

    JustTom's Journal 2: Summer Edition

    Just a quick update for now: studying for the last exam, trying to at least save that one. Will update the journal later.
  14. JustTom

    JustTom's Journal 2: Summer Edition

    End of the day update at 5am in the night: I'm cutting my losses and going to bed. I'm not going to the exam at 9am. I tried to force myself to study, but I just wasn't able to. I'm setting up 7-8 hours of sleep and starting fresh tomorrow to study for the second one. I still have 1 more shot at it in february and since it's not a SUPER math heavy exam, I'm fairly confident I will be able to prepare without the help of classmates, it will just take away a couple of days unnecessarily. And also impose a lot of stress, but it is what it is. That's pretty spot on and also pretty brutal to think that I'm just being one of the many unsuccessful ones. It's true that I'm not going to ever lower my goals so it's either succeed or live in a constant limbo of self-disappointment. I always identified with these two options. If I could just take a "bad grade", I would take it in a blink of an eye haha. Unfortunately, this is more of a pass/fail question, as is always the case in this field. Our courses go in 2-month long blocks. I worked very hard in november, so I booted up my social life, which made me completely drop my morning rituals and productivity in december and here I am. Really really sad and disappointed, but hey, I'm still a work in progress. As much as I would like to have discipline like Elon Musk, it just takes a long time to build it up. And even though I failed this exam, I will succeed at the second one for sure. 2019 will be a breakthrough year in many areas in my life I can feel it. I've got many things going so well in the long-term. Thank you all so much for the support. I will do my best in these last 3 days of school this year.
  15. JustTom

    JustTom's Journal 2: Summer Edition

    @karabas Thank you. I really can't figure out why I did this. Does this happen to normal people? That they just become a zombie for a few days? I wasn't even particularly stressed or anything. I still can't start studying, so what I'm going to do instead, is just meditate for 20 minutes and then contemplate. Have some silence.