Dear Diary...

[Ikar]

3 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

I decided that when I finish the draft and work on the first revision, I'll make a website and start my marketing plan. My goal is to build momentum up until release day and sell the book with some people interested in it. 

Sounds amazing! I hope you'll be able to plan it while not hampering your progress with writing.

3 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

Great approach. It's just cool seeing how much we can do in short periods of time. I think this is way better and healthier than gaming life. 

Yes, I've come to think of it as a spectrum. This is regarding the use of time. On one extreme, we have addiction - full commitment to one thing. On the other extreme, we have fragmentation - no commitment to anything. In the middle, there is balance - some commitment to several things.

I even started working on a blog post about "being average", how that term is deceptive and how it's useful for manipulation. That's because it's completely normal and healthy to be even below average; I'm below average at juggling, because I don't do it and there are a few people who are good or even great at it. I'm a below average screamo listener, because I couldn't care less about the genre. The trick is just assessing in what areas you want to be better/it makes sense to be better than the average, to focus on these, and to cut the rest as insignificant noise.

3 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

The house projects are good. We finished all major upgrades and can now focus on smaller things that aren't liabilities to the house. This is a huge relief. I think it's interesting you're doing this with your family member before your own place. I remember doing that with my family and found more pleasure doing my home with my wife. 

Good work, I can only imagine the relief 😄

I'm doing it because my family and I agreed that I'll inherit the flat in the future; it's already officially in my name for about a year. The exchange was I would carry the brunt of the work around the flat, for as long as my grandma is alive and also after. As such, I feel uneasy, as I don't think I'm doing enough at the moment.

I spent some time with my family today and I privately decided that I am going to visit my parents and my grandma every week now until the kitchen is done, in order to be more in touch with the reality of the kitchen and to consult and run the project more actively, especially with my father.

3 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

I'd include that time you spend outside of work in your review with your manager. See if that is normal or not. You might realize other teachers do more than that or others do way less. Might be a good experience. 

The issue here is that there are two categories, though they intermingle:

1) Directly related to my language school classes - emails for students (schedule changes, organization of courses), preparation for classes or invoices. Preparation is already included in the price of the lesson, so are occasional vital emails about the schedule. Invoices aren't either, as they aren't related to the students in any way.

2) Related to my professional success - networking, seminars on business topics or seminars for my English education. These are my voluntary activities outside of the contract with my employer. Networking allows me to reach new contacts and students with whom I can work on a private basis. The seminar section improves my know-how in business and English.

There's a good reason to argue for a raise with improved English know-how, however I've been told they require an official teacher's certificate (TEFL/TESOL/TESL/CELTA/DELTA etc.) to increase my salary. I'm going to do one of them for sure, maybe even multiple, but finishing my university degree in the next few months takes precedence.

That said, I don't know how much time I spend on 1) and 2) exactly. 1) should be around 5-8 hours a month. 2) is way more variable, maybe between 10-30 hours a month.

[BooksandTrees]

On 9/17/2023 at 2:31 PM, Ikar said:

Sounds amazing! I hope you'll be able to plan it while not hampering your progress with writing.

Yes, I've come to think of it as a spectrum. This is regarding the use of time. On one extreme, we have addiction - full commitment to one thing. On the other extreme, we have fragmentation - no commitment to anything. In the middle, there is balance - some commitment to several things.

I even started working on a blog post about "being average", how that term is deceptive and how it's useful for manipulation. That's because it's completely normal and healthy to be even below average; I'm below average at juggling, because I don't do it and there are a few people who are good or even great at it. I'm a below average screamo listener, because I couldn't care less about the genre. The trick is just assessing in what areas you want to be better/it makes sense to be better than the average, to focus on these, and to cut the rest as insignificant noise.

Good work, I can only imagine the relief 😄

I'm doing it because my family and I agreed that I'll inherit the flat in the future; it's already officially in my name for about a year. The exchange was I would carry the brunt of the work around the flat, for as long as my grandma is alive and also after. As such, I feel uneasy, as I don't think I'm doing enough at the moment.

I spent some time with my family today and I privately decided that I am going to visit my parents and my grandma every week now until the kitchen is done, in order to be more in touch with the reality of the kitchen and to consult and run the project more actively, especially with my father.

The issue here is that there are two categories, though they intermingle:

1) Directly related to my language school classes - emails for students (schedule changes, organization of courses), preparation for classes or invoices. Preparation is already included in the price of the lesson, so are occasional vital emails about the schedule. Invoices aren't either, as they aren't related to the students in any way.

2) Related to my professional success - networking, seminars on business topics or seminars for my English education. These are my voluntary activities outside of the contract with my employer. Networking allows me to reach new contacts and students with whom I can work on a private basis. The seminar section improves my know-how in business and English.

There's a good reason to argue for a raise with improved English know-how, however I've been told they require an official teacher's certificate (TEFL/TESOL/TESL/CELTA/DELTA etc.) to increase my salary. I'm going to do one of them for sure, maybe even multiple, but finishing my university degree in the next few months takes precedence.

That said, I don't know how much time I spend on 1) and 2) exactly. 1) should be around 5-8 hours a month. 2) is way more variable, maybe between 10-30 hours a month.

I think being able to focus our addictive intensity and interest in hourly or bi hourly segments can really help. I work on 5 to 10 projects per week at work and I thrive on that now. It's created balance and now I'm getting better at playing tthe drums, reading, writing, and drawing for short segments now. 

Thanks and I'm glad your house project is running too. I am in a similar situation with my mom's house so I understand the politics involved lol.

I wonder if you can seek out a mentor to review your out of class commitments and provide feedback. My company let's me choose a mentor and I can go over stuff once a month to get my questions answered. Maybe you could see if that's at your place too.

[BooksandTrees]

I did pilates today. Was really nice and a ton of fun. If you get bored with working out this might be a fun thing to try. 

[Pochatok]

1 hour ago, BooksandTrees said:

I did pilates today. Was really nice and a ton of fun. If you get bored with working out this might be a fun thing to try. 

Haha yes, I've heard it to be surprisingly challenging no matter your physical ability- what'd you enjoy about it?

[Ikar]

10 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

I wonder if you can seek out a mentor to review your out of class commitments and provide feedback. My company let's me choose a mentor and I can go over stuff once a month to get my questions answered. Maybe you could see if that's at your place too.

It's indeed useful to have mentors. I've taken part in two mentoring projects in the last year and both had a positive influence on me. Both of them spurred some activity in me, especially regarding 2) - things related to my professional success.

The language schools generally don't provide any guidance here, as developing myself in this way effectively turns me into a competitor rather than an employee. Simply put - they will organize seminars on how to run the classes, use the technologies etc., but not on how to find new business partners or how to present myself online on my website. For that, I need to seek help myself.

[BooksandTrees]

On 9/20/2023 at 7:26 PM, Pochatok said:

Haha yes, I've heard it to be surprisingly challenging no matter your physical ability- what'd you enjoy about it?

It was dynamic. It felt like I wasn't just doing isolated exercises and going through the motions. It's very involved and feels like an actual hobby or activity or dance. 

[BooksandTrees]

@GrainSiloEnthusiastI ordered a few lego mini figures this week to go with my future builds. I'm excited. I got some different batman ones. Did you know they make his helmet in all colors? I got one of every color except purple because that's wicked expensive for some reason lol. Others are 2 dollars and purple is 700 dollars. 

[GrainSiloEnthusiast]

On 9/27/2023 at 3:51 PM, BooksandTrees said:

@GrainSiloEnthusiastI ordered a few lego mini figures this week to go with my future builds. I'm excited. I got some different batman ones. Did you know they make his helmet in all colors? I got one of every color except purple because that's wicked expensive for some reason lol. Others are 2 dollars and purple is 700 dollars. 

That is so awesome!! And yeah I know right the collectors out there are crazy hahaha

[Pochatok]

On 9/22/2023 at 10:28 AM, BooksandTrees said:

It was dynamic. It felt like I wasn't just doing isolated exercises and going through the motions. It's very involved and feels like an actual hobby or activity or dance. 

Ohhh I love that description! Perhaps a thing to try myself down the line 🙂 

[BooksandTrees]

This week was exhausting. I had to work a ton and didn't have time for hobbies. I relaxed with my wife for a while today and then we did some errands and went out for dinner. I'm starting to feel refreshed. 

This leads to the issue of me wanting to catch up on lost hobby time, so the moment I feel better, I want to be productive and write or do something. But that's not realistic or fair to myself. I'm going to let myself know that I acknowledge the initiative and interest in being productive, but it's counterintuitive to do it right now. 

I'll just doodle on my note pad, read, and relax more tonight. I think I can write for 30 to 60 minutes tomorrow and move on. 

I also downloaded brick link studio to design lego sets. Someone on this forum used to do it a lot and I forget who it was. 

[BooksandTrees]

It was @amchowwho built with brick link studios. 

[TheNewMe2.0]

On 9/30/2023 at 7:33 PM, BooksandTrees said:

This week was exhausting. I had to work a ton and didn't have time for hobbies. I relaxed with my wife for a while today and then we did some errands and went out for dinner. I'm starting to feel refreshed. 

This leads to the issue of me wanting to catch up on lost hobby time, so the moment I feel better, I want to be productive and write or do something. But that's not realistic or fair to myself. I'm going to let myself know that I acknowledge the initiative and interest in being productive, but it's counterintuitive to do it right now. 

I'll just doodle on my note pad, read, and relax more tonight. I think I can write for 30 to 60 minutes tomorrow and move on. 

I also downloaded brick link studio to design lego sets. Someone on this forum used to do it a lot and I forget who it was. 

Keep at those hobbies man. Just read IKIGAI and it made me a believer in doing something you love

[BooksandTrees]

8 hours ago, TheNewMe2.0 said:

Keep at those hobbies man. Just read IKIGAI and it made me a believer in doing something you love

Definitely. I ended up writing 600 words for my book, drawing, and doing yoga after that. I felt better. 

[BooksandTrees]

I did so much overtime the past few weeks. I'm so tired lol. I took today off and I'm going to rest on this long weekend. I'm enjoying the work at least so that's nice. 

I think I'm getting a promotion soon and I'm really proud of that. I'm hoping to eventually be a project manager in a few years. 

I got some cool things on Amazon prime day for relaxation and a couple new books. I've also lost 5 lbs. I'm pretty excited about that. I'm hoping to lose about 15 more in the next few months, but slowly is fine. I rushed it before and gained it back. Doing a healthier method now. 

Hockey season started so I'm watching a lot of hockey again and that's taking pressure off of feeling the need to be productive at night. 

I'm almost on chapter 11 of the book I'm writing. 

[Pochatok]

9 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

I'm almost on chapter 11 of the book I'm writing.

Wohoo!!!! I'm so glad you're continuing to move forward with your passions, this is so amazing!

[BooksandTrees]

1 hour ago, Pochatok said:

Wohoo!!!! I'm so glad you're continuing to move forward with your passions, this is so amazing!

Thanks! I'm gonna try to get chapter 11 done this week. 

[BooksandTrees]

I had a triggering event for the first time in years. I got an email about my old runescape account getting banned and logged into the website to see what happened. Someone hacked my account, botted, and got my account banned.

I haven't played it since 2018 but I still disputed the offense and the company who runs the game, jagex, said it was indisputable and my account is permanently banned. 

Although I haven't played in 5 years, it still represents a lot of time invested and the account was max level. I was triggered because it made me want to keep visiting the website to check the account and that brought back memories. 

I didn't relapse though. I realize I don't want to spend 5 years maximizing another account and I'm too busy to play now with my new life. Most importantly, who would make the decision to commit to a game where it's player safety and management are so uneducated and poor at communication. I'm sure they just gave me automated responses. I'm frustrated by their incompetence, but I'm not tempted to play games. 

I think it goes to show that it's more rewarding long term to put that effort into your own life and have real accomplishments. Not fake ones that can be lost due to people who don't care about you and never did. 

[Ikar]

2 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

I think it goes to show that it's more rewarding long term to put that effort into your own life and have real accomplishments. Not fake ones that can be lost due to people who don't care about you and never did. 

I like to read "real" as "connected to others or oneself". I can imagine a workaholic at a company who has been pushing paper for many years without any effect on the world; though he got money, he wasted his time and life. On the self part, I think creating/doing something for yourself (reading, writing, making pretty graphs etc.) is truly never a wasted effort, as we did it for ourselves.

[BooksandTrees]

I'm starting to recover mentally from all of the overtime I've been working. Last night I read for a while, played a boardgame, and drew some meaningless sketches. Tonight I left work early and get to relax. I'm gonna use the time to shop for food and do some meal planning. I'm excited for this. 

If anyone has hobbies but struggles to do them some nights, just remember that you might be tired and need to do something restorative. Be patient with yourself even if it's hard. 

[Pochatok]

18 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

Be patient with yourself even if it's hard. 

Remind this to myself every day! I am someone who prefers to pull through the burnout for the sake of persistence, but it's important to have expectations that match my current state wellbeing! Thank you for sharing this :heart

 

[BooksandTrees]

19 hours ago, Pochatok said:

Remind this to myself every day! I am someone who prefers to pull through the burnout for the sake of persistence, but it's important to have expectations that match my current state wellbeing! Thank you for sharing this :heart

 

It's really important. I was frustrated for not wanting to do anything but I think there's a reason for everything in life. If you don't want to do anything at all you could just be tired. 

[BooksandTrees]

I've had violent dreams every night this week. It's very odd. I normally don't have those. I won't describe them since they bother me, but I'm just unsure where it's coming from since I don't feel upset during the day and my relationships with friends and family keep improving and improving. 

[FDRx7]

Just a thought, but double check to see if you've made any dietary changes before or close to bed. A friend of mine told me to take glycine before bed for a more restful sleep but I swear every night I took it, I had the strangest, most vivid nightmares. Normally, I can think of the last time I remembered a dream, let alone a nightmare. Stopped taking it and it went away. Mine is more obvious but look back to see if there's a pattern. Cheese can do it to you, and I've heard some people say wine as well. Everyone's different.

[Ikar]

Just to give my two cents, I normally don't have (remember) any dreams, but I remember them more after drinking alcohol. I hardly ever drink enough of it to make it happen nowadays though.

[BooksandTrees]

5 hours ago, FDRx7 said:

Just a thought, but double check to see if you've made any dietary changes before or close to bed. A friend of mine told me to take glycine before bed for a more restful sleep but I swear every night I took it, I had the strangest, most vivid nightmares. Normally, I can think of the last time I remembered a dream, let alone a nightmare. Stopped taking it and it went away. Mine is more obvious but look back to see if there's a pattern. Cheese can do it to you, and I've heard some people say wine as well. Everyone's different.

I stopped eating food within 3 hours of bed recently. Maybe my stomach is mad and I'm picking up the anger in my dreams lol.