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17 hours ago, Erik2.0 said:

Good job killing off the ants with the poison then. Now I know a way to get rid of them if I start seeing a lot of ants. That ramen sounded nice. Still thinking about it because they're always eating ramen in anime. 

Yeah. That stuff really was worth it's money. You don't need a lot and a whole bucks was like 15 bucks. You could kill like 20 nests with that! They're no longer around. Just one loner here or there. The nest entrances seem post-apocalyptically empty. I might do some of it on the terrace to make sure we don't get a second wave of intruders.

The ramen was so tasty. But also because I love it especially and I had to work for a whole hour figuring out Uber Eats, dealing with credit card shit, calling the ramen place myself and then going over to order in person and take it back with a McGuyvered backpack I lined with temperature-maintaining isolation and some padding and filling to prevent spills. Trust me, after that, amount of ludicrous effort to get takeout that should take 1 push of a button, any food tastes amazing.

If you've never had it, try some! They didn't use to have it where I live until 1 place opened up and the chef was an Asian streetfood legend. I got véry lucky there! Amazing stuff. The next bowl I tasted was in Tokyo Street, so I got the good stuff right away like that. After I came back new ramen places popped up. There's this one that doesn't do takeout because they want to guarantee the quality of the experience. What a guy. That's dedication to good food. He'd rather go bankrupt due to Covid19 than compromise what he wants to offer patrons.

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6 hours ago, Tzen1 said:

It's crazy to see your journey come so far! Looks like your doing well with a belly full of steak! And honestly in this quarantine tasty is in short supply. 

The only thing to be careful is the day drinking mixed with working out. Drinking causes the body to dehydrate even more so than working out and then working out without some water isn't to good. I know this is easier said then done coming from a person who doesn't drink and gave up sodas but just be careful 🙂

stay safe and keep going one day at a time

-Tzen

Hey man! Yeah, I sometimes have to stop and fully realize the distance I've come. It's insane, truly. I should try and appreciate that a bit more sometimes. But I get lost in all of my ambitions and daily tasks.

Yeah, you're right man. I try to drink enough water daily. If I get around to doing my dairy around noon, usually the rest of the day that follows is filled with water. But if it's really busy or if my schedule is unorthodox, I lose my structure quickly and just do stuff that needs doing instead of drinking water. It's a hard habit to form, it seems.

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6 hours ago, Tzen1 said:

It's crazy to see your journey come so far! Looks like your doing well with a belly full of steak! And honestly in this quarantine tasty is in short supply. 

The only thing to be careful is the day drinking mixed with working out. Drinking causes the body to dehydrate even more so than working out and then working out without some water isn't to good. I know this is easier said then done coming from a person who doesn't drink and gave up sodas but just be careful 🙂

stay safe and keep going one day at a time

-Tzen

How was that for you, quitting alcohol and sodas? Was it hard? Did you use some kind of technique? Do you miss it? Do you sometimes break the abstention and indulge?

Edited by Phoenixking
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Detox day 87. "Nomidai."

Three more days until I get to drink the tea of victory!

I got a call today from my Krav Maga instructor. He's also a baker and invented Hooked donuts. Aside from their original shape and marketing, they're also ridiculously tasty. Holy shit does that guy know how to make amazing pastries... But he's changing his business, partnering up, selling stuff, ... And so he called me! From entrepreneur to entrepreneur. He had no idea how to communicate that big change. I told him to explain to me in 1 minute what's going on, why and what the situation will be next week. I simply instructed him to write that down on an A4 page, reduce the words to about 3/4 or half to make sure he trims the fat and skips unnecessary words and phrases and then record that. Put the recording on the website and àll social media channels, make it all very simple, clear and super visible. What is going to change, perhaps explain why and answer the question all patrons will have: "Can I get more donuts or not and if so, where and how?" He thanked me, complimented me for helping him so well and expressed that he was right to call me for stuff like that. I added he better print out a piece of paper with a brief message and a link to his website and social media to put on the front door of the bakery. If people come looking for donuts, he'll have an offline way to communicate. I feel so proud he came to me. I feel like I'm being taken more seriously as a speaking coach than I am taking myself for now XD It's a great confirmation that apparently the odds aren't so stacked against me as I'd think! And it's nice to be seeked out for advice or help, I mean, the guy is like 20 years my senior. Surely he knows how to run a business, no? But he still wanted my help! SO COOL!

Tonight I'm doing something I've always wanted to do. It's called "Drunk Gaki". One of my favorite Japanese tv shows is called "Gaki No Tsukai". They have a discord, a fan website, and so on. Once every now and then they organize a stream with subs to watch the show and they lot play drinking games in the chat. It's going to be my first time participating. I even bout a small dish to drink sake from and 2 bottles of proper Japanese sake! Coincidentally my SO is baking gyoza tonight and making sushi. I once learned the word "nomidai" when I was in Japan. It's what they use to describe 'the big drinking' or 'drinking til you drop' or places that charge you a flat fee to enter but you'll get unlimited drinks. I think that might apply tonight...

 

Recent highlight: Getting the call from the donut dude, making me feel like my advice and insight is worth something.

Budget status: I suggested to my bank I might switch to the competition because they're costing me 5 bucks a month in upkeep and the bank where I have a joint account with my SO seems to provide the same services for free. I also asked the latter if that is right, just to be safe. It might be a promotion like "you don't pay upkeep in the first 6 months" or something.

My one goal for the next 24h: Either do some more of my mails (insurance and stuff) or do some more work for Starterslab.

What did I read today: Another chapter of Atomic Habits! There's 2 more to go and then I'll probably switch to "Life's A Pitch". A book about pitching, business and communication.

My chore of the day: Vacuumed the apartment.

How I spent the 1 hour of focus progresssing my business today: Filing the answers down to the essence on the document that's due Tuesday. There's still a bit of research due before I can call it a finished thing, though. And spent some time on emails about opportunities for my D&D ideas. I found some people who are eager to help me grow and spread the word. I'm so enthused!

 

Maintained habits:

-Daily Japanese lesson - Just finished!

-Make the bed - Done.

-Drink enough water - It's 10 to 3 pm and the first bottle is down. I think I'll probably make my goal today.

-Brush teeth two times a day, floss and clean once a day - About to go do it.

-Less daydrinking at home alone - I feel like I'm basically drinking daily now. I should maybe tone it down a bit. But on the other hand: CORONA IS CRAZY

-Meditation - The park was so incredibly lovely. I might spend a lot of time there at some point while drinking my green tea of victory after 90 days.

-Exercise once this week - My knees hurt after going shopping yesterday. Lucky for my I shouldn't be on my feet very long today. 

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4 hours ago, Phoenixking said:

How was that for you, quitting alcohol and sodas? Was it hard? Did you use some kind of technique? Do you miss it? Do you sometimes break the abstention and indulge?

Not gonna lie drinking wasn't as bad as sodas. I wasn't a heavy drinker at all maybe a beer with friends but not really at home, but sodas, dear god sodas. Since quitting coffee all my caffeine came from sodas. The caffeine withdrawals went on for what felt like a week and a half. The headaches were the worst part I felt like I needed Excedrin just to get past them. Did it suck yeah but it was worth it. Just quitting sodas by themselves I lost weight my energy is now no longer tied to caffeine and I feel like I have a better night sleep and wake up more refreshed. 

So to answer your questions haha, Really I did the same thing with that like I did with video games. Clean house all alcohol, sodas, coffee. I have two techniques 1. was my motivation not to go through caffeine withdrawals again going through it once was plenty enough for me to stay away. 2. I bought a tumbler, I'll attach a screenshot, and instead of filling it with coffee I filled it with water and kept it with me everywhere I went. Also the green on it was a plus because it's my favorite color. 

It was hard but the results outweigh it so much. I don't really miss alcohol and I'll explain why in a second but I do miss a good Fresca or Dr. Pepper. I haven't broken yet, though for coffee, people bash on Decafe but really with all the creamer and what not people add in you wouldn't taste the difference.

As for alcohol I am just not a fan of drinking something that I would lose my clear mind or going out having someone to depend on to get home. I guess I just don't want to burden people. I also hate the feeling the alcohol brings on even getting buzzed I didn't care for it. 

But yeah since quitting I have no cravings other than a Decafe coffee here or there and I feel so great more energy, better night sleep, and I just feel healthier. Sorry for the long post as well. 

1589041064989.thumb.png.93c1f20e4543f33dc7276a63fe6191b7.png

Edited by Tzen1
Original picture had some personal info- oops
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10 hours ago, Phoenixking said:

There's this one that doesn't do takeout because they want to guarantee the quality of the experience. What a guy. That's dedication to good food. He'd rather go bankrupt due to Covid19 than compromise what he wants to offer patrons.

That's ridiculous. But it's also awesome. Sounds like a must try, I bet the ramen is good there. Have you ever watched Naruto or Saiki K? I got into ramen through Naruto haha. He's all like, 'I just need a ramen and I'll be fine tomorrow.' After receiving a bunch of injuries. I'll see if my area has some around. Where I live is kind of a dead zone for restaurants. They're all bland and forgettable except this one Thai place.

Enjoy your Nomidai. I also think moderating on your drinking is a good idea. Maybe cut it down to something reasonable. For example I keep show watching to two hours a day and am continuing to try to stay with that limit. When I go over I feel like I did too much,.

Edited by Erik2.0
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22 hours ago, Tzen1 said:

Not gonna lie drinking wasn't as bad as sodas. I wasn't a heavy drinker at all maybe a beer with friends but not really at home, but sodas, dear god sodas. Since quitting coffee all my caffeine came from sodas. The caffeine withdrawals went on for what felt like a week and a half. The headaches were the worst part I felt like I needed Excedrin just to get past them. Did it suck yeah but it was worth it. Just quitting sodas by themselves I lost weight my energy is now no longer tied to caffeine and I feel like I have a better night sleep and wake up more refreshed. 

So to answer your questions haha, Really I did the same thing with that like I did with video games. Clean house all alcohol, sodas, coffee. I have two techniques 1. was my motivation not to go through caffeine withdrawals again going through it once was plenty enough for me to stay away. 2. I bought a tumbler, I'll attach a screenshot, and instead of filling it with coffee I filled it with water and kept it with me everywhere I went. Also the green on it was a plus because it's my favorite color. 

It was hard but the results outweigh it so much. I don't really miss alcohol and I'll explain why in a second but I do miss a good Fresca or Dr. Pepper. I haven't broken yet, though for coffee, people bash on Decafe but really with all the creamer and what not people add in you wouldn't taste the difference.

As for alcohol I am just not a fan of drinking something that I would lose my clear mind or going out having someone to depend on to get home. I guess I just don't want to burden people. I also hate the feeling the alcohol brings on even getting buzzed I didn't care for it. 

But yeah since quitting I have no cravings other than a Decafe coffee here or there and I feel so great more energy, better night sleep, and I just feel healthier. Sorry for the long post as well. 

1589041064989.thumb.png.93c1f20e4543f33dc7276a63fe6191b7.png

Cool man! Thanks for the info! 

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16 hours ago, Erik2.0 said:

That's ridiculous. But it's also awesome. Sounds like a must try, I bet the ramen is good there. Have you ever watched Naruto or Saiki K? I got into ramen through Naruto haha. He's all like, 'I just need a ramen and I'll be fine tomorrow.' After receiving a bunch of injuries. I'll see if my area has some around. Where I live is kind of a dead zone for restaurants. They're all bland and forgettable except this one Thai place.

Enjoy your Nomidai. I also think moderating on your drinking is a good idea. Maybe cut it down to something reasonable. For example I keep show watching to two hours a day and am continuing to try to stay with that limit. When I go over I feel like I did too much,.

Yeah, it's kind of insane from a business standpoint. I mean, he still offers tsukemen for takeout and his rep is enough to get him by. I'd hate to see him go out of business, though. I hope they survive this crisis. You can really tell that this white guy trained in Japan under a proper master and in Brussels with proper Japanese restaurants. I have so much respect for his determination and work ethic. 

Oh yeah, I was a huuuuge Naruto fan, man. That's how I got curious about what it was, how it tasted, ... I was craving it for years before I found a place that offered it! And even then it was crappy stuff. I was so happy when I finally got to the good stuff... That reminds me I should start watching Boruto again... 

Thanks! It was fun but not as fun as I'd hoped. I got tipsy/drunk. But I prefer being a functional human being every day. Especially with this much work to do for the budding business. I usually keep a keen eye on my drinking, but during the lockdown, I'm kind of giving myself a pass. 

I started using Toggle to keep track of exactly how many hours I spend cooking, watching shows, and so on. The first few days were daunting to say the least. But I'm slowly now building up how many hours I'm actually working and dialing down how many hours I spend watching series or anime.

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16 hours ago, Erik2.0 said:

That's ridiculous. But it's also awesome. Sounds like a must try, I bet the ramen is good there. Have you ever watched Naruto or Saiki K? I got into ramen through Naruto haha. He's all like, 'I just need a ramen and I'll be fine tomorrow.' After receiving a bunch of injuries. I'll see if my area has some around. Where I live is kind of a dead zone for restaurants. They're all bland and forgettable except this one Thai place.

Enjoy your Nomidai. I also think moderating on your drinking is a good idea. Maybe cut it down to something reasonable. For example I keep show watching to two hours a day and am continuing to try to stay with that limit. When I go over I feel like I did too much,.

Yeah, it's kind of insane from a business standpoint. I mean, he still offers tsukemen for takeout and his rep is enough to get him by. I'd hate to see him go out of business, though. I hope they survive this crisis. You can really tell that this white guy trained in Japan under a proper master and in Brussels with proper Japanese restaurants. I have so much respect for his determination and work ethic. 

Oh yeah, I was a huuuuge Naruto fan, man. That's how I got curious about what it was, how it tasted, ... I was craving it for years before I found a place that offered it! And even then it was crappy stuff. I was so happy when I finally got to the good stuff... That reminds me I should start watching Boruto again... 

Thanks! It was fun but not as fun as I'd hoped. I got tipsy/drunk. But I prefer being a functional human being every day. Especially with this much work to do for the budding business. I usually keep a keen eye on my drinking, but during the lockdown, I'm kind of giving myself a pass. 

I started using Toggle to keep track of exactly how many hours I spend cooking, watching shows, and so on. The first few days were daunting to say the least. But I'm slowly now building up how many hours I'm actually working and dialing down how many hours I spend watching series or anime.

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Detox day 88. "Contact."

Last night was fun. But not THAT fun. It was pretty amazing to be able to meet via voice chat with the people who translate and sub one of my favorite Japanese tv shows. But I feel like they overhyped it. The stream was a bit messy and glitchy but after they fixed it, the Discord started glitching. It was annoying. People kept coming in and out of the chat and at some point, they just suddenly left. There was a separate secondary private chat that I wasn't allowed into. *sigh* Some things about last night were totally worth it. Others were annoying. Overall I'm glad I did it and I'll try to keep in touch with that community a bit more via Discord. But I was a bit disappointed to be honest.

Today was a productive day. Despite the drinking I started working at 11 again and this time for an hour or 3. I finished analyzing the market and checked out competing speaking coaches. I'm excited. I mailed a bunch of them about what it was like to start out and if they had any tips and such. A lot of them seem very open on their website to just having a coffee and meeting other entrepreneurs. I feel like I'm really making progress and networking well. I look forward to their responses.

I also just learned that the money I was supposed to get from wrecking my old car and buying a new, less polluting one, fell through. Fuck me right? I spent so much time researching cars because mine was  too old and to live in the city center you need a modern or electric car because of the Low Emission Zone. I had to pay extra yearly passes to be allowed in the city, where I already lived, so I kind of was forced to. Fines are through the roof for fucking around with that... I had read that if you have a polluting car and you get it professionally wrecked and then buy a new one that's like a hybrid (like mine now is!), you get about 1000 bucks in subsidies. And now that turns out to be false. FUUUUUUUUUUCK. 

I did the work! I contacted the local government to double check, kept a record of àll the paperwork for the new car and the old one, asked about the pass I'd already bought for this year and if it could be reimbursed, ... I really did the work. I didn't want to make any mistakes because 1000 bucks is a lot. And now it turns out, due to me misinterpreting something, we can't get it. They told me that cars of pollution degree lower than 4 are eligible to get 1000 bucks if wrecked. Mine is a category 4. I feel like they should have said classes "3 and lower". I can't believe it. I'm so furious. I feel so dumb and stupid and I'm so angry that it's partly because of the ineptitude of some random government worker.

I'm still going to try though. Worst case scenario I get a slap on the wrist. Fuck this shit. I have nothing to lose. It's not like I'm covering up anything. I'm just going to file the paperwork anyway. Either they don't see the mistake I made and I get the money (I paid enough in taxes to those idiots for years anyways, might as well try and get something back from their greedy mitts), or they do see the mistake and just refuse the faulty paperwork. There's no fines on making mistakes.

Recent highlight: Contacting several other coaches and asking for advice for starters or maybe to have coffee together.

Budget status: The 1000 bucks thing is really really crappy. My mood is shot for the next hour or so...

My one goal for the next 24h: Keep doing what I do! Tomorrow I want to finish the due assignment and send it to Starterslab.

What did I read today: The final chapter of Atomic Habits.

My chore of the day: Gave the toilet a scrub.

How I spent the 1 hour of focus progresssing my business today: Analysis of the market, contacting other coaches and logging their prices and USPs.

 

Maintained habits:

-Daily Japanese lesson - Just did it.

-Make the bed - SO did it.

-Drink enough water - About 75% of the way there today.

-Brush teeth two times a day, floss and clean once a day - About to go do it.

-Less daydrinking at home alone - The 'nomidai' last night hit pretty heavy. Thank god I don't usually go that hard.

-Meditation - I'm not immediately keen on getting back to the park, my knees hurt. But maybe soon?

-Exercise once this week - About to go do my push ups and lunges.

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Detox day 89. "Expanse."

 

I arranged for me to be able to watch the 4 seasons of The Expanse. Just like how I watched the Mandalorian, I want to gift myself a nice moment of me time where I can fully immerse myself into something really cool that I find fascinating. It's nice to wake up with a cup of coffee, stress free and something cool for 40 minutes to indulge into. It's nice to see I'm starting to find some sort of rhythm more and more. I feel both relaxed and engaged in growing as a person and growing the business. So that's truly something great! Tomorrow I'm reaching 90 days of sleeping properly, no video games and without porn, building my habits well and minding my limits, pressure and ambitions. I really feel like I deserve the green tee of victory!

So I'm doing great, but my SO is burning up, it seems. Due to the lockdown she was unable to see a psychiatrist. We had a no nonsense conversation about how she feels and how much energy she has, the pressure she puts on herself and so on... I did manage to motivate her to call her psychiatrist. They might not be able to see patients, but at least we could get a date for the next first possible appointment, or maybe a ball park. Anything is good! I just want to make sure there's at least 1 baby step towards progress. I even suggested I'd search for a psychologist or a therapist after having a deep conversation what she's looking for. I'd just ask questions, take notes and really dig in to find every single thing that I could use as a parameter to find her the ideal therapist. I was bursting with fiery feelings of motivation and care for her. If I could do anything at all, big or small, to help her get help, I'd do it. I realize she has to be the one to take the steps to get help and she wants to, but it seems like she'll postpone it forever due to lack of energy and motivation. I guess that something where I can step in, no? I'm not letting it die down. She wants to get help, so I'll fucking get her help, even if it's the last thing I'll do. I don't want to get dragged down, I don't want it to pressure our relationship or household and I don't want to see her waste away her potential as a twenty something. She's so sad about being so lifeless but she's too weak, tired and lethargic to anything about it, she admits and then pushes herself even more downwards because she's angry at herself for not getting help and feeling so down. It's a clusterfuck.

In other news, I GOT MY SUIT. I am now the proud owner of an elegant two piece suit, tailored to a millimeter. Purple, always a royal winner. Playful and crazy like The Joker's suit. But regal and elegant as fuck. I sent pictures of it to my graphic designer. He's also fixing me up with a logo. All of it and the color design free of charge! Well, kind of. He's making a video game and will need a voice actor. I told him I'd do it and wouldn't charge him my hourly rates as an actor. But I would charge him my media and broadcasting rights. That's royalties man, that's money for life. I ain't dumb, that's not worth a logo. But it feels like a smart trade. It saves me about 300 bucks on the short term and I don't mind helping a buddy out. I guess this whole helping each other out is what entrepreneurs do, no?

I finished a bunch of entrepreneur paperwork. Mainly plans, marketing overviews, market analysis, ... I feel like I'm getting more and more into a flow state. I'm good at networking and asking the right question at the right people. But not paperwork. But I'm starting to feel the buzz, man! I'm making progress. The more I work and the more results I manage to get, the more I'm eager to continue. The effort required to start doing shit each day is growing smaller and smaller. Last night I was working till 9 pm and it felt so natural and nice. I'm so happy with how productive I've become lately. I respect time with my SO, I have enough me-time, I try not to pressure myself too much. It's great!

Don't get me wrong, though. There's still a lot of risks. Mainly for porn or distractions. I still have a long way to go. But the roads I've already taken, I feel good about.

 

 

Recent highlight: Watching The Expanse this morning and fluidly transferring to work mode

Budget status: The suit set me back about 1200 bucks. I wanted to get it done to use for the business, but it seems I can't put clothing as a cost... Grrr. Well, that's what savings are for, no? 

My one goal for the next 24h: After I do some chores and call my family, if there's time, maybe try and work some more. I could do a market analysis of actor or public speakers.

What did I read today: The final bit of 'Atomic Habits'! Huzzah!

My chore of the day: Did some dishes and cleaned the kitchen counter.

How I spent the 1 hour of focus progresssing my business today: Finished my entrepreneur's plan and did some mails.

 

Maintained habits:

-Daily Japanese lesson - Just finished it.

-Make the bed - Done.

-Drink enough water - Well on our way. Huzzah!

-Brush teeth two times a day, floss and clean once a day - I still need to do it, but I'll have lunch first.

-Less daydrinking at home alone - The only way I sometimes can let off some steam is by drinking. I miss exercising and being able to be alone.

-Meditation - I'm probably going to go back to the park tomorrow to drink the tea.

-Exercise once this week - About to go do my push ups and lunges.

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3 hours ago, Phoenixking said:

I arranged for me to be able to watch the 4 seasons of The Expanse. Just like how I watched the Mandalorian, I want to gift myself a nice moment of me time where I can fully immerse myself into something really cool that I find fascinating. It's nice to wake up with a cup of coffee, stress free and something cool for 40 minutes to indulge into. It's nice to see I'm starting to find some sort of rhythm more and more.

I also generally put in the episode of a series in the mornings nowadays. There's no rush. Even though I do not like the fact that I started watching Billions and each episode is an hour long and it feels to me to be a bit long to just grab breakfast/lunch/dinner with it.

3 hours ago, Phoenixking said:

I'd just ask questions, take notes and really dig in to find every single thing that I could use as a parameter to find her the ideal therapist. I was bursting with fiery feelings of motivation and care for her. If I could do anything at all, big or small, to help her get help, I'd do it. I realize she has to be the one to take the steps to get help and she wants to, but it seems like she'll postpone it forever due to lack of energy and motivation. I guess that something where I can step in, no? I'm not letting it die down. She wants to get help, so I'll fucking get her help, even if it's the last thing I'll do. I don't want to get dragged down, I don't want it to pressure our relationship or household and I don't want to see her waste away her potential as a twenty something. She's so sad about being so lifeless but she's too weak, tired and lethargic to anything about it, she admits and then pushes herself even more downwards because she's angry at herself for not getting help and feeling so down. It's a clusterfuck.

I might be currently single, but I empathize with you and see why you do what you do, because I would do the same for my girl. You putting in the effort to help her counts, though her having the therapist to help out is vital as well. Just know it might take years, as it took us all with gaming.

Keep on keeping on, you're doing great 🙂

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I agree with Ikar that it's a good idea to encourage your SO to go see a therapist/psych. You can see them via Telehealth during the pandemic and still get prescribed meds. I see my therapist and psychiatrist regularly via video call. Sounds like a nice suit. Is this tea special in some way other than being victory tea for 90 days? Good job getting this far.

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10 hours ago, Erik2.0 said:

Is this tea special in some way other than being victory tea for 90 days?

Yeah! I was in Japan about a year ago and I drank that specific type/brand of tea there, so I associate the flavor and the type of bottle with having a good time and being on what ended up being a magical trip. There's no fucking way to find that where I live, nor in the neighboring countries. I went to a museum about 5 months back and it was about Japan and it's art and visual culture. In that bar, afterwards, they had used the tea for decoration and they'd serve it with some ice. Despite it not being sold like that, I managed to charm my way into the bar manager's heart and he sold me a bottle after all. I made a big effort to get that bottle and told myself it would be my reward if I could detox for 90 days. I got to about 60-70 days last time before I crashed and burned. But now I'm almost there, so it's a celebration of my growth on the one hand, looking forward to tasting it once again for over 5 months. But it's also because of how I associate it with being in Japan.

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Detox day 90. "Tea Time."

Wow, my head is buzzing with numbers. Today's workshop is all about finances. Crickey. I'm not good with them. I'm a words man, not a numbers guy.

I plan on finishing the lot this afternoon in one fell swoop. If I can finish my financial plan today, while I still have the coach on speed dial for the rest of the afternoon, I'll have less worries. Why? Because next Tuesday afternoon I am to give a 7-8 minute presentation about my business. I am supposed to talk about what I'll be doing, what services or good I'll be providing and to whom. How I'll market that, what my unique selling points are, prices, and so on... Basically tell them what I'll be doing, how and prove with some numbers I'm not talking out of my ass. So obviously I want to pour a lot of time in that. I'll have less worries when making that if I already finished my financial part. After that presentation I'll have a private meeting with the coaches to talk about how doable my business is. Unless I have to adjust some things, I could get a green light and then it's going to be all about execution. Finding clients, reading books, getting some more education, finding a location, and so on...

Later today, after I finish the above, I'm heading to the park. I want to drink my tea in a peaceful, quiet place where I can reminisce about how long the road has been and celebrate my personal victories in all silence.

 

Recent highlight: Getting a message back from a marketing entrepreneur commending my idea of focusing on my practical experience as an actor and a public speaker/host and getting complimented on my idea of making a series of instructional videos.

Budget status: Starting tomorrow, I'm going to go work in the offices of Starterslab. It's 90 bucks to work there for 40 hours, I get a desk, internet, the whole shebang. I feel like it sucks I have to spend the scratch to be able to work with some focus, but being at home just isn't an option any more. It's maddening to keep looking at the same walls for so long. I'm done.

My one goal for the next 24h: Go to the park, find a quiet place and drink my tea.

What did I read today: The first 20 pages of 'Life's a pitch', a book about how to sell yourself in both business and in life. It's about 300 pages long, more or less.

My chore of the day: Groceries shopping after going to the park.

How I spent the 1 hour of focus progresssing my business today: Got a 4 hour workshop on finances and spent about 1-2 hours on finishing my financial spreadsheet. The only thing I have to worry about now is the presentation next Tuesday. I have 7 days to prep and make something that wows. I vowed to make it the pitch of a lifetime. 

 

Maintained habits:

-Daily Japanese lesson - Done.

-Make the bed - Done.

-Drink enough water - Took my first sip.

-Brush teeth two times a day, floss and clean once a day - About to go do it.

-Less daydrinking at home alone - Having the opportunity to drink G&Ts and Margaritas is not good for this one. But starting tomorrow, I'll be away from home while working. So that should improve my stress levels quite a bit!

-Meditation - Going to the park today to drink my tea and catch my breath. Looking forward to it.

-Exercise once this week - Going to go and do another set of push ups and lunges!

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1 hour ago, Phoenixking said:

Detox day 90. "Tea Time."

Why? Because next Tuesday afternoon I am to give a 7-8 minute presentation about my business. I am supposed to talk about what I'll be doing, what services or good I'll be providing and to whom. How I'll market that, what my unique selling points are, prices, and so on...

Later today, after I finish the above, I'm heading to the park. I want to drink my tea in a peaceful, quiet place where I can reminisce about how long the road has been and celebrate my personal victories in all silence.

 

-Daily Japanese lesson - Done.

Wow! Congrats! No games for 90 days omg! Enjoy your cup of tea!
How does it feel to not play games that long? Jeez I'm so curious... I have 89 days left...
Reading your journal and seeing your progress since day 1 is very inspiring!

For the business proposal part: "Remember, customer is always right. Tell them what they want to hear and you'll have no problem." 🤣
For language: I might do the same too! Thanks for the idea! How fluent are you now in speaking Japanese language? It's really amazing to imagine watching Naruto without reading subtitles. Maybe I'll try Spanish!

Congrats again!

Edited by chiliflavor
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Detox day 0. "Failing forwards."

I've lost count of how many times I've had to reset this journal because I relapsed. I think it was because of the lack of stress relief. Stress just got the better of me and I crashed and that's when you grasp at straws. The business things are scary, sure. But I'm slowly getting it and learning to embrace the roller coaster I've gotten the opportunity to get on. I had a great talk about that today at a digital marketing bureau I'm considering using. It would cost me about 8k in total for about a year. But the return of investment would be totally worth it, I feel. I just don't know how I could get that kind of money yet. I also don't want to get ahead of myself. 

I've figured that the triggers of the relapse came from ads. I use ad-blockers and 18+-blockers on almost every device. But because I use the free version of Duolingo, there's still some ads here and there. I'll buy the full version and patch that leak that way. Secondly, it's because of my messy home and the lock down. I'm going stir crazy in here. It's so hard to focus properly and get into the healthy mindset. It's incredulous how many times I cleaned the entire kitchen and how 1 day later, the same exact mess is there again. It's depressing as fuck and it spreads like a wildfire. My SO helps, but she's also a huge source of messiness. I understand, though. The past few days I was a husk and when you're down like that, you don't care about anything. You're just kind of existing instead of living. I'm not saying that's what she does on the daily, but whatever her ailment; depression, burnout, overworked or whatever; it's a factor. I can't really blame her for not having enough energy to help pick things up here. You can see it in her eyes. I'd talk about how you can use tiny things to set yourself up for success, I'll try to inspire her to go for a walk but nothing really connects. She just works and exists. It's hard to live in a house with person with habits like those. All of it also confronts me a lot with how fragile I still am. But at the very least, in the middle of all the tears, disappointments, pain and cognitive dissonance, I did finish the pitch and I even learned how to work with Prezi. In less than 24h I'll be explaining my vision and my plans. I'm excited. Sad that I have to get back to 90 days again. But still excited for the dreams I try to achieve despite it all. 

My main thing seems to be that I don't have anything that helps me blow off steam. And Krav Maga lacked an element of competition. So I went ahead and reached out to a local boxing club to see if that could help me. It would give me a workout and a goal I'd want to achieve. I want to win a boxing match. My grandfather used to box. In some way, I like to think he'd be proud of me learning how to bite down, put on my game face and kick ass despite any hardships.

Recent highlight: Talking to the people of Digital Leader, the company that might take care of my online marketing. If I can pay them, haha.

Budget status: I totally destroyed our monthy allotment of internet because of the gaming. And binging series.

My one goal for the next 24h: Practice my pitch ad infinitum.

What did I read today: Another couple of chapters of 'Life's a Pitch'.

My chore of the day: I might get something to eat and then cut, blanche and freeze some of our veggies.

How I spent the 1 hour of focus progresssing my business today: Had a 2 hour meeting about online marketing and business strategy.

 

Maintained habits:

-Daily Japanese lesson - Done. But just the bare minimum so I don't lose my streak.

-Make the bed - Done.

-Drink enough water - Took a sip, but not much.

-Brush teeth two times a day, floss and clean once a day - Done.

-Less daydrinking at home alone - I got some kind of stomach inflammation. So alcohol is not a good idea right now.

-Meditation -  I should go to the park sometime soon. I'd like some quiet time after all of this.

-Exercise once this week - Haven't been doing my exercises for quite some time now...

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Detox day -1. "Moderation Schmoderation."

I've got the pitch in a few hours. In about 1 hour or a half to be exact. I'm not as nervous as I should be, I feel. Maybe because I feel in control? I can basically do the whole thing by heart and know exactly when to time which slide. I've seen a bunch of the others and I'm confident I'll be in the top tier entrepreneurs. There's still a lot of work to be done, though. But I feel like starting a business is a lifelong thing where there'll ALWAYS be work that needs doing.

Bugs are driving me nuts. I get bitten every couple of minutes or more. I try to tune it out. We left the sink, the dishes and the thrash lying around. And by that I mean that because of my relapse, I didn't do diddly squat around the house and thus nasty shit kept piling up. Sadly, because of my SO's depression, it's hard to lean on her to pick up the slack. The better part of the day she works and is on her computer. She's messy and leaves a lot of things lying around, dishes and food remains included. I understand she's not as tidy as I am and it's all getting put under a magnifying glass the more I delve deeper into self-improvement. I read Atomic Habits and try to do 10 push ups a day to try and do a tiny thing to achieve my goals on the long run, accumulate enough good habits to be able to call myself a changed person, a solidified and healthy identity. And when she moans about her health or her body, but isn't willing to change her eating or exercising habits, it stings. I understand. I've been down in the dumps like that myself. But the imaginary chasm between me and her is sometimes rather big. I'm happy she's getting help, but I'm getting tired of her excuses. It's mean to say this, but when is she going to get off her ass and actually do the things she says? When is she going to make her mental health a priority above anything else? When is she going to work on her body, mind her weight and help keep this place clean more? I know a SO shouldn't want their partner to change and there's an element of lock down craziness involved here too, but still, I just needed to say that out loud, I think... I've no right to bitch and moan about somebody who's putting up with an addict, of course. But I'm noticing more and more that I love her as a person, but less as a housemate. I'm going to be soooo happy when I am allowed to work in a co-working environment and get out of the house. Odd that I look forward to an office when my last job was all about trying to escape the office. 

I've also noticed I'm drawn to games right now because of the stress the state of our apartment puts on me. I want everything to be clean, nice and tidy so badly. It's because of that I want an office to myself. A space to be able to be more in control of.

 

Recent highlight: Seeing the other entrepreneurs' pitches.

Budget status: Got some extra cash, might make the end of the month after all without having to dip into savings. Now that I actually HAVE savings, I'd rather not use them too often.

My one goal for the next 24h: Nail the pitch and celebrate with ice cream later today.

What did I read today: Nothing yet, but probably a bit more of 'Life's a Pitch' or my D&D books.

My chore of the day: I've been oogling that stack of dishes for a bit now.

How I spent the 1 hour of focus progresssing my business today: Listening and looking at the other pitches, giving feedback and collecting the latter on mine.

 

Maintained habits:

-Daily Japanese lesson - Done. But just the bare minimum so I don't lose my streak.

-Make the bed - Done.

-Drink enough water - Not a sip today yet.

-Brush teeth two times a day, floss and clean once a day - Not yet.

-Less daydrinking at home alone - No booze in a bit.

-Meditation -  I feel like I should go to the park soon again, to find some alone time.

-Exercise once this week - I'll shower in a bit and then do the exercises. Don't want the knees to start nagging me again.

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24 minutes ago, Phoenixking said:

t's mean to say this, but when is she going to get off her ass and actually do the things she says? When is she going to make her mental health a priority above anything else? When is she going to work on her body, mind her weight and help keep this place clean more?

I think that someone is depressive, because she feels that she is not in control of her life. It took me so many years and so many tries to figure out, how to get in control of this messy lifethat is quite insane. Maybe it is not her health or exercising, where she should start. The only thing that works, is starting with something that you are actually capable to do. And then you get confidence through that and maybe build it up. Just the simple decision to not drink coca cola anymore could change a whole life.

29 minutes ago, Phoenixking said:

Moderation Schmoderation

As I am interested in moderation right now: Can you elaborate that? ^^

19 hours ago, Phoenixking said:

Detox day 0. "Failing forwards."

Why have you reset it? 

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Are you trying to go deeper into self improvement to not only fix yourself, but subconsciously try and fix your girlfriend? It seems you are afraid to talk to her about some of these issues. I could be wrong and not trying to prod a potentially touchy subject since you both are depressed, but is there a way you both could feed off of each other and build off of that strength? It seems like she is really being a heavy anchor right now and you're trying to raise the anchor and put it on a ship that would sink if it held the anchor. (anchor is yours and your gf's issues and your boat is just yours and not hers).

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19 hours ago, Alexanderle said:

I think that someone is depressive, because she feels that she is not in control of her life. It took me so many years and so many tries to figure out, how to get in control of this messy lifethat is quite insane. Maybe it is not her health or exercising, where she should start. The only thing that works, is starting with something that you are actually capable to do. And then you get confidence through that and maybe build it up. Just the simple decision to not drink coca cola anymore could change a whole life.

As I am interested in moderation right now: Can you elaborate that? ^^

Why have you reset it? 

In reverse order: I reset it because I relapsed. I hit 90 or 91 days and then something cracked and I binged games like a maniac. When I came down from the high, despite realizing the negative sides, I couldn't just cleanly stop again. I still crave the structure my journal gives me, so I'm continuing that, and since the binge wore off I'm now doing it in moderation.
There's not much to elaborate on, to be honest. It's  an intense shooter I play and I like the adrenaline rush and that it helps me relax a bit by blowing off some steam. But I don't feel the need to binge it. It's still a bit of a time sink, but honestly, so were other things like anime, Netflix, Reddit, ... I'm still wanting to quit it properly, though. But it seems like the way I look at games for now took a bit of a shift. I didn't expect moderation to come this easily.

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1 minute ago, Phoenixking said:

I think that someone is depressive, because she feels that she is not in control of her life. It took me so many years and so many tries to figure out, how to get in control of this messy lifethat is quite insane. Maybe it is not her health or exercising, where she should start. The only thing that works, is starting with something that you are actually capable to do. And then you get confidence through that and maybe build it up. Just the simple decision to not drink coca cola anymore could change a whole life.

I think I understand what you mean. Her whole shtick is that she doesn't consider herself to be somebody who's capable. She's eager to help others like crazy, though. She's always giving everything she's got to other people and purposefully skips herself. She didn't even want help in the first few month because she was convinced she wasn't worth it. I just hope her psychiatrist finds some way to connect to her and she can finally start recovering...

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7 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

Are you trying to go deeper into self improvement to not only fix yourself, but subconsciously try and fix your girlfriend? It seems you are afraid to talk to her about some of these issues. I could be wrong and not trying to prod a potentially touchy subject since you both are depressed, but is there a way you both could feed off of each other and build off of that strength? It seems like she is really being a heavy anchor right now and you're trying to raise the anchor and put it on a ship that would sink if it held the anchor. (anchor is yours and your gf's issues and your boat is just yours and not hers).

That's a pretty powerful metaphor there, bud. I don't think I actively seek self improvement because I'd subconsciously like to fix her. I think it's more about myself and trying to grow and progress and push my limits. Subconsciously though, I do think I haven't forgiven myself yet for my shenanigans of the past. I'm really hard on myself, too hard, needlessly even. And I believe that I have become allergic to things that remind me of that. Normally, messy or lazy people wouldn't have bothered me, but nowadays, I just can't fathom how they can live like that. I guess I just often see my old self in her and that's hard. Wouldn't say I'm depressed though. 

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