Jump to content

NEW VIDEO: Has gaming disorder been cancelled!?

Phoenixking

Maintenance of the PhoenixKing

Recommended Posts

19 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

I agree with the shop owner partly and I'm not here to offend your opinion, but to give mine.

Great nuance. Seriously.

19 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

The holocaust was the worst event in human history. Over 11 million Jews and Russians were tortured, raped, experimented on, and murdered. Sure, you probably know this, but a lot of younger generation doesn't believe in it now. It's becoming a problem. I think joking about it can make it seem less powerful and terrible of an event. I suggest you watch the unedited footage of the holocaust on Netflix while it is still there. General Eisenhower brought a film crew with him to take undocumented footage of the liberation of multiple concentration camps to show what the prisoners were facing and how tortured they were. It might give some perspective on why the owner feels so strongly about not inviting that person back.

Well, yes and no. It's something both well known and also only from recent history. It's relatively close by to our current modern times and thus more sensitive. There have been many major traumatic events in human history, on the long term or short, and it's rather difficult to scale any of them in terms of how severe they were. Where should we draw the line? No Holocaust jokes, but jokes about Jews are okay? Or just no jokes about Jews in general just to be safe? Or should we dodge genocides, and big traumatic stuff like 9/11 or the Rwandan massacre too? Who are we to say that the mass torture and genocide of those Jews and Russians is worse than for example Israelis killing Palestinians. After all, the Jewish Israelis know what it is to truly suffer, so shouldn't they show kindness to others instead of bullets? Or take China for example. A total population greatly dwarfing the 11 million Jews and Russians you mention. They aren't tortured, but some are black bagged by the government and who knows what dark shit they do to their own people? On top of that they are monitored, live in dire times in terms of surveillance and social credit scores, ... One could argue that the 'light torture' the Chinese government is using on it's own 1,45 billion people is worse than the 'serious torture' the Nazis unleashed on 11 million people in terms of level of torture per capita. One could go even further to argue by saying that at least the Nazis were fought off by an major world war and Allied powers working together to save them because they care for them. Nobody is doing anything truly on that magnitude to stop China's mental rape of it's own people. But again, who are we to judge that one major historical event is worse than the other right? I'm pretty sure my Asian neighbours would care more for the latter than the former example or horrible things humans are capable of doing to each other. So either you are wrong, I am wrong and my Asian neighbours are wrong for wanting to fight for what we believe in. Or the truth is relative.

 

19 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

He said the crowd just didn't understand his talent.

That is just a fucking stupid person. Pick your battles. Especially in comedy and when tackling sensitive topics. I do majorly agree with people needing to take a look at who they're talking to before they go into more edgy comedy material. But comedy is really fucking hard. And making mistakes like that is how you learn. There's no other way. There's no safe simulation, no real manual. You just have to get on that stage and risk it all. And sadly, some comedians say horrible stuff in hopes of being funny. Some of them are seriously misguided, sadly and yes, then it's kind of like hate speech with a little laugh here and there. I do not like comedians like that at aaaall. I'm here for your jokes, not your politics, ugh. But it's still important to do so, though. Any subject that has some form of status, has power. And power corrupts. So comedians needs to talk about the holocaust, politicians, genocides, rape, etc.. Those things need to be made light of to tear down that status and power. Because if you don't, a subject attains a level of dictatorship since you can't say anything bad about it. Most comedians aren't to blame though, you can only blame them for trying or for being inexperienced. The former deserves respect and the latter is not their fault. But sometimes, I admit, there are some bad apples... But you find those on almost every branch of life. At least comedians fight the assholes with jokes.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeah what you mentioned about being thick skinned is one of the reasons I've still never tried stand-up even though lots of people in the biz have told me I should go for it... I don't have a thick skin and the prospect of bombing over and over again potentially for years before finding success does not excite me to say the least!

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, Phoenixking said:

Well, yes and no. It's something both well known and also only from recent history. It's relatively close by to our current modern times and thus more sensitive. There have been many major traumatic events in human history, on the long term or short, and it's rather difficult to scale any of them in terms of how severe they were. Where should we draw the line? No Holocaust jokes, but jokes about Jews are okay? Or just no jokes about Jews in general just to be safe? Or should we dodge genocides, and big traumatic stuff like 9/11 or the Rwandan massacre too? Who are we to say that the mass torture and genocide of those Jews and Russians is worse than for example Israelis killing Palestinians. After all, the Jewish Israelis know what it is to truly suffer, so shouldn't they show kindness to others instead of bullets? Or take China for example. A total population greatly dwarfing the 11 million Jews and Russians you mention. They aren't tortured, but some are black bagged by the government and who knows what dark shit they do to their own people? On top of that they are monitored, live in dire times in terms of surveillance and social credit scores, ... One could argue that the 'light torture' the Chinese government is using on it's own 1,45 billion people is worse than the 'serious torture' the Nazis unleashed on 11 million people in terms of level of torture per capita. One could go even further to argue by saying that at least the Nazis were fought off by an major world war and Allied powers working together to save them because they care for them. Nobody is doing anything truly on that magnitude to stop China's mental rape of it's own people. But again, who are we to judge that one major historical event is worse than the other right? I'm pretty sure my Asian neighbours would care more for the latter than the former example or horrible things humans are capable of doing to each other. So either you are wrong, I am wrong and my Asian neighbours are wrong for wanting to fight for what we believe in. Or the truth is relative.

Yeah I agree completely. Society has decided certain things are untouchable even though they're realistically no worse than a thousand other things that are strikingly similar. There is a reason, like you said, it's recent history and a lot of the victims or people who are related to victims are still alive. Also a lot of the people who rose to power and got to shape our perception of the holocaust were pretty clear that it was the worst thing to EVER HAPPEN in the ENTIRE HISTORY OF MANKIND. Any logical person knows that this is a ridiculous belief but you're definitely a dick if you challenge it. There's just no upside to it. Nobody laments the millions of people systematically exterminated by the Roman Republic (and later Empire). Genghis Khan and his people executed millions of innocent civilians yet he is lauded as a military genius and the reason so many engineering and scientific ideas were spread (with good reason).

But like you said, pick your battles. Is it unfair that we can't joke about the holocaust? No, not really. Plenty of other things to joke about. I don't find holocaust jokes funny, personally. Not because of some righteousness for the Jewish people... I just think they all are basically the same joke. There is an audience for an entire set of holocaust jokes out there, the one that comedian was talking to just wasn't one. Lol

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 minutes ago, ceponatia said:

Yeah what you mentioned about being thick skinned is one of the reasons I've still never tried stand-up even though lots of people in the biz have told me I should go for it... I don't have a thick skin and the prospect of bombing over and over again potentially for years before finding success does not excite me to say the least!

Same. It's why I quit doing comedy and now just organize and manage. Other endeavours are also a bit more lucrative for me now, so not putting energy into it. Although I do feel like you should maybe try it a few times, you might like it. There's loads of comedians out there who are mentally really vulnerable and who talk about their addictions, depressions, etc... 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Detox day 28. "Corona. The virus, not the beer."
 
Yesterday I had drinks with an old friend. We saw each other again a while back at an info session that lead me to enter my current Starterslab-program. He didn't get the degree of Engineering, but he's good enough with 3D-drawing that he ended up self-teaching a lot. He's as clever as the other engineers at his old firm are. Very impressive mind. He collapsed a bit in the middle of renovating his appartment, video games, making his own game and getting overworked. I liked talking to him. I admitted my addiction too to him. I tried to steer clear of games a bit here and there, but it was pretty cool to hear him talk so passionately about learning how to code, wanting to make his demo and try to make a living off of making cool games. In the end, I don't really think it was a major trigger for me. But I'm sure that I'd speak differently about I wasn't in such a good place as I am right now.
 
The Corona-craze is everywhere. My improv group sadly cancelled all event for the remainder of the month. My big birthday party is on the 4th of April. I'm scared I won't be allowed to have it because of the size of the people gathering. We'd have like 200 people or something. For now the limit of public gatherings is set to 1000. The comedy show I'm seeing tonight has a venue that's about 1200. So I'm lucky to be part of the group that had great seats, the balcony people got rescheduled... I don't like admitting it. But it's al getting pretty scary. I want it to go away. 
 

Recent highlight: Finishing Mob Psycho 100. Great anime, the visuals, the character arcs, good stuff.

Budget status: Weird. Didn't get my unemployment money yet. Maybe I should call them next week or something?

My one goal for the next 24h: Finish the ironing and then just systematically finish each thing on my list. Lots of stuff to do from home today.

 

Maintained habits:

-Daily Japanese lesson - Done.

-Make the bed - Done.

-Drink enough water - Halfway there already.

-Brush teeth two times a day, floss and clean once a day - If my comedy show doesn't get Corona-cancelled, I'll do it before I go out as usual.

-No daydrinking at home alone - Just water and coffee.

-Meditation - Rescheduled the park. Today is a bit too busy and I'm not feeling stressed enough to require quiet me-time like that.

-Exercise once this week - I should look into working out again sometime in the next days or weeks...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Detox day 29. "Locked down and shut in."
 
So almost all of my gigs have been cancelled. Basically I have no more work for the remainder of the month, at least. Also not able to visit any bars, restaurants or events because literally come Monday everything will be closed. I think only supermarkets and similar stores and hospitals remain open. Everything else is cancelled or closed. Crazy. Thank fuck that I maneuvered things in such a way that I survive off of unemployment money instead of my own income. Lots of colleagues of mine are fucked right now. Even local bars and restaurants will lose it all for a moment. Fresh produce the restaurants use, drinks the bars sells, ... What a waste. It's going to be a crazy day. To make matters worse, people freaked out. I saw a few people walking across the street with 5 packs of toilet paper. It's not the end of times, people. Chill. Supermarkets aren't closed or anything. We still have enough food. It's such an apocalyptic event. The virus doesn't scare me, I'm young and healthy and I stay away from older people or risk people like those who have an already in place illness. But the scared peoples' responses scare me, though. It's a gunpowder keg. I think there might go something wrong. Majorly. All it'd take is 1 person doing something stupid for everybody to start screaming and running... *sigh*
 
In about an hour we'll be going out to testdrive the new car and see about finances. After that I'm going to go and have my new suit fit and we'll have dinner with a few friends. For the remainder of the day, restaurants and bars are open so I'm very happy that I made reservations. And after that I'm going to see a friend of my SO's. We're just going to have drinks and per the current laws, the place will close at midnight due to the virus. So it's going to be a relatively calm evening. There is a thing about that guy though. He asked me for drinks, not the other way around. He's, much like some of the others in their clique, rather cerebral. I speak with ease about my feelings and matters of the heart and soul. But some of them are quite stunted in that sense. Last time I hung out a bit with him, he just explained things about whiskey. Like, he won't ask about how your day was or he'll practically run away from conversations about how you or he himself feels. He recently broke up with his partner of 10 years and he simply won't talk about that. That doesn't sound like somebody I'd like to admit to my inner circle. He might be a nice guy and who am I to prejudice him? I look forward to having a nice night with him. But a part of me is wholly prepared to walk away from any notions of friendship and hanging out more often.
 

Recent highlight: Going to the park and seeing a budgie collecting stuff to build a nest, seeing a woodpecker peck wood and finding a suspension bridge.

Budget status: Sent a message to my union about the unemployment money.

My one goal for the next 24h: Be vigilant and super sharp about the car. I don't want to make any bad decisions and be rash or something. Calm and steady wins the race.

 

Maintained habits:

-Daily Japanese lesson - Done.

-Make the bed - Done.

-Drink enough water - Haven't had a drink yet. I might not drink a lot today since I'll be gone for a big part of today.

-Brush teeth two times a day, floss and clean once a day - I'll do it in a bit, I need to go see the car guy in about an hour.

-No daydrinking at home alone - Had 2 Japanese whiskeys last night.

-Meditation - The park was heavenly. Sunshine, birds and pretty sights to see.

-Exercise once this week - Already had about 10,000 steps today. Still should look at the working out at home.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm so fortunate to work for the government. We can't shut down so even if the USA totally closes for business, I'll still have an income. 😛

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Detox day 30. "Suit up and bro down."
 
Test driving the car went so smooth. We ended up getting it. We agreed on paying 4000 in advance and the car payments would be about 120 a month. It's going to be 16,500 total and my SO is paying for 1/3 since we'll share it but I'll use it for most of the time instead of her. So we're buying car now. We will soon own a car. Holy crap... I guess it's kind of a signal that we're both confident in our relationship. We wouldn't spend that amount of money on it all if we weren't sure that she and I would last. This is a huge milestone in my life.
 
I have been clean for 30 days now! No porn, no games and no podcasts or Netflix when I try to go to sleep. Some days are harder that others. I'm just happy to be able to say I've been going strong for a month now.
 
I had my new suit on. It fit amazingly. I'm going to go and pick it up next week. I'm over the moon. It'll cost me an arm and a leg. But holy shit do I feel cool and ready to become a super professional coach! I'll plan a photo shoot for the website and marketing when the whole Corona-quarantine stuff blows over.
 
Had dinner last night with friends and drinks with another friend. One last hurrah. My SO and I will be at home for at least 3 weeks now. The bar closed at the strike of midnight. I did end up having a lot of fun with him. I ended up confiding I'm thinking of getting the 5 yen piece I wear around my neck to be refitted and turn it into an engagement ring. The engineer and scientist in him gave me tonnes of ideas. If I can find a place with smelting gear, he can do it for me. I'd get some extra coins to do a trial run, though. And we still have two more hurdles. I want to find some kind of gemstone from Peru, because I'd propose in Japan, the country that I love, but she likes Peru like a lot! So I need to find a gemstone and then figure our the second issue: how to get it to attach to the ring. The metal fitting on the ring is something my engineer friend can't do, but I have a jeweler friend who might have answers... Sadly, due to Corona everything is closed... But we still have about 2 years before we pop the question, so we're good!
 

Recent highlight: Wearing the suit for the first time and looking at the mirror.

Budget status: Financially I'm fine. But the car payments and not getting my unemployment money yet, combined with lots of gigs getting cancelled is uneasy. I have learned to immediately get contracts and agreements done asap. If they then cancel, I still get paid because they can't break contract that easily.

My one goal for the next 24h: Prep my D&D like a motherfucker. I am so looking forward to tomorrow afternoon. Hi-jinks, combat and shenanigans!

 

Maintained habits:

-Daily Japanese lesson - All good.

-Make the bed - Not really.

-Drink enough water - Didn't drink any water yesterday as predicted. Now that I'm home today, I hope to compensate a bit.

-Brush teeth two times a day, floss and clean once a day - If I go outside today, I'll do this. But I might stay in and ignore this.

-No daydrinking at home alone - Only social drinking.

-Meditation - Still enjoying the park walk I had in my mind.

-Exercise once this week - My Krav Maga group posted some exercises to do at home to keep fit. Ideal!

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Detox day 32. "Dungeons and Quarantine."
 
My D&D session went swimmingly. I spent the better part of Saturday anxious and stressed because I feared some of the players might cancel. I talked it over with many of them and I was willing to hang out and without pressuring anybody, all but 1 player made it. It went amazing. I was so happy. So many great story moments, epic combat and a giant cliffhanger at the end. I can't wait to do it again.
 
That being said, it may have been quite reckless. I didn't know much about the virus and there were no real rules we were breaking by hanging out. I'd like to squeeze in another session sooner rather than later, but we'll probably just wait for another week before we open that discussion up. I see numbers, infections, deaths and measuring rise and change every day. It seems prudent to hang back and see if any of us are infected and give them time to recover. I'm now following several world news outlets to keep up to date a bit. Horrible stuff, but fascinating to see how humanity responds to it all.
 

Recent highlight: My party facing the bad guy, only to see them get stabbed in the back by some dark mage their all angered earlier, their newfound nemesis, and having to battle a super powerful and pissed off mage on top of the boss battle. They ended up losing an NPC and made a deal with a god to save their lives. Being able to finish the session with the words "Ok, but everything comes with a cost." was the cherry on the cake.

Budget status: Nothing specific to report. Other than me having sent a message about not yet receiving my money.

My one goal for the next 24h: Honestly, I don't really know. I'm not really feeling today. I might get pissed off of hanging out on my couch all day and just start rage-cleaning. We'll see. Today is rather meh in terms of goals, discipline and ambition.

 

Maintained habits:

-Daily Japanese lesson - Done.

-Make the bed - Done.

-Drink enough water - Shit. Haven't had any yet. I'm to instantly change this. I need to stay hydrated.

-Brush teeth two times a day, floss and clean once a day - I am going to have a bit of a cleaning and grooming sesh in a bit.

-No daydrinking at home alone - Had beers with my SO.

-Meditation - Might hit up the park again soon. But preferably at a time nobody'll be there.

-Exercise once this week - I'll keep an eye on the exercises my Krav Maga group'll post tomorrow.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Detox day 33. "Car, shoot and lockdown."
 
Lots of sources I know that work with or at the government told me that tomorrow a lockdown will start. You'll no longer be legally allowed to go outside except for getting food or medicine or going to work. But in the case of that latter, you need legit proof from your employer. This is like wartime. So exceptional.
 
So today I had a photographer come shoot me at my home for the cover of a magazine that'll get published next month and my SO and I went to sign some paperwork for our new car. Corona is stalling so many different things... The doomsday prepper in me woke up a bit and I figured if this is the precipice of a major societal change, I might want some stuff nearby. I already know Krav Maga and have stuff to make fire, a Swiss army knife, a machete, ... I picked up some extra stuff from the store and went to visit the drug store around the corner. I had heard stories about how hospitals are now the modern front line fighters. People working overtime and risking their lives for all our health. I'm not somebody who only thinks of himself and I don't like doing nothing. Seeing my local pharmacists overworked, stressed and undermanned... I talked to them and they'd been swamped by aggressive people, screaming about Corona. Madness. Utter insanity. They'd erected Plexiglas protection screens over their counters, had designated areas marked with chalk, twine and tape for people to stand on and only permitted 3 customers in the shop at the same time. I got some alcoholic handgel, painkillers and disinfectant. And after a brief conversation, I had heard they hadn't even eaten anything yet and it was already 3 pm. I went to drop off some bagels and fruit. I guess in a way they were my own personal front line. I can't go to the hospital to bring bagels. But at least I did something today to make a small difference. I am thinking of hosting some sort of online D&D events. A weekly thing to battle the Corona-isolation and sadness.
 

Recent highlight: The photoshoot at my house. I've never been on the cover of anything before I think.

Budget status: Yay! Money coming tomorrow!

My one goal for the next 24h: This time I'd like to start the day tomorrow with a clean slate. I've gotten the Krav Maga exercises, there's food to cook cool stuff with and loads of time. I feel like all I do all day is follow the news and watch anime. 

 

Maintained habits:

-Daily Japanese lesson - Ok.

-Make the bed - Ok.

-Drink enough water - Getting better but not there yet.

-Brush teeth two times a day, floss and clean once a day - Good.

-No daydrinking at home alone - Beer.

-Meditation - Not really feeling the need yet.

-Exercise once this week - Got the Krav Maga exercises. I'll tackle'm tomorrow!

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Detox day 34. "Renewed energy."
 
Today I'm pushing the reset button. Or at least I'm trying! I'm wanting to make some progress today. I have on my list: cleaning this place up, updating my socials with the cool shoot I did yesterday, exercise using the Krav Maga stuff I got sent, cook cool Japanese foodstuff to practice for cooking for dinner guests, learn how to use Roll20 to lift people's moods and play free online D&D with them and finally check all of my emails because there's still actual work to be done. Didn't expect the last one, but hey, whatever. I'm super up to date on world news, I read it voraciously every day. I binged an anime the last two days and switched between that and reading the news. I'm now noticing that my super full planner was one of the staples of my productivity. I had meetings to go to so I had to get out of bed on time, I had lots of shit to do outside of the house and deadlines to meet. Now I'm all on my own to get'r'done.
 
I'll start with one thing and just work down the list, I guess. I have some survivalist-podcasts and interviews I want to listen to. I still feel like a crackpot with a tinfoil hat, but all knowledge is good knowledge. And I feel like the survivalist stuff has a smaller chance of being more useful to me in the next few years than how AI gets made or interviews with UFC-fighters.
 
As long as I feel good doing it and as long as I feel healthy, it's all good. Health is a priority. I try to keep an eye on my body and mind all the time. If I'm getting sick (and let's be honest here, there's a pretty good chance I've been exposed), I'd rather it be when I'm at peak physical condition. Not in terms of muscles. But I want to be hydrated, clean, happy, positive and stress-less. A food full of veggies and high calorie food, ... Stuff like that. I'm worried about getting sick, though. And about my SO. If you do get sick and it's bad. It's fucking majorly bad. Hopefully our young bodies are healthy and resilient enough to get away with minor symptoms. If not... We better get sick right now before hospitals nearby start using triage. We might not get care if we get sick in a month instead of today. Even worse, we'd have to stay away from each other too. If you recover from it, you can get sick again afterwards. Immunity is no guarantee and that's not a risk you'd like to take when exposing yourself to your SO. There's just so many factors... All I can do is chug as much info as I can and respond appropriately. 
 
My country's now officially on some sort of lockdown. Almost everything is closed except for banks, places you can buy food and workplaces. Can't even cross the borders anymore. With all of the stuff I'm reading, I'm pretty sure life as we know it has been irrevocably changed. We are a part of a major historic event. But that also means we can curb it any way we want to if we work together. And it's also rubbing our noses in where we're vulnerable. Health care systems, financial security, ... Some places or systems are in major need of help, upgrades or changes. I guess that's a silver lining.
 

Recent highlight: The feeling of renewed energy!

Budget status: Doing okay.

My one goal for the next 24h: I guess if there's one thing, I'd like to clean the apartment. 

 

Maintained habits:

-Daily Japanese lesson - About to do it.

-Make the bed - Done.

-Drink enough water - I'm about to fill up a bottle.

-Brush teeth two times a day, floss and clean once a day - I'll have some home-spa sesh in a bit.

-No daydrinking at home alone - Another beer. I've been drinking more and more, it seems. I should slow down. Health is a priority.

-Meditation - Not exactly able to go to the park without any risks.

-Exercise once this week - Got the Krav Maga exercises. Time for exercise!

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Detox day 35. "Goals."
 
Today I'm feeling way better than yesterday. Maybe I just needed some rest or something. I slept till noon today. Crazy. I'm trying to get some D&D done today as a player, so that I can experience roll20. There's lots of people stuck nowadays and before the internet fails us or providers start prioritizing working from home over Netflix or Facebook I'd like to squeeze some storytelling in. So D&D tonight together with binging as much instructional videos about Roll20 as possible. Yesterday I was able to clean a bit and cook great food. I notice how enthusiastic and happy I get when I'm cooking. I really am like my grandma. I use food to tell people I love them.
 
My SO is basically working non-stop nowadays. The lines are blurred. She can no longer healthily distinguish between what is work time and what is private. Today she finally admitted she wants to quit. It made me so happy. She's not meant to work in a corporate environment like that. She's a psychologist for fuck's sake. She thrives on helping others, not filling in paperwork and attending meetings. She needs to see patients and help them through obstacles. She's taken a step and that's relieving. Now the next thing is to find where she wants to go. She's not eager on quitting instantly because she'd have no income. But it's hard to both do her current job well and also find a new place to work. I'll see where it's all going in the next few weeks I guess. In any case, due to the corona lockdowns, the entire world won't be turning for a while the way we know it. 
 

Recent highlight: Dancing and fake singing to Japanese anime music while I cook a pot of Milk Tea.

Budget status: My unemployment money was waaaay lower than what I expected. I'm sending them a message to ask about how they calculated it.

My one goal for the next 24h: Enjoy D&D tonight and absorb as much tricks and knowledge I can about Roll20.

 

Maintained habits:

-Daily Japanese lesson - Done.

-Make the bed - Done.

-Drink enough water - First bottle down, second is right next to me.

-Brush teeth two times a day, floss and clean once a day - I should make sure I shower today and brush my teeth. Now that I no longer go outside, I should try to make an effort.

-No daydrinking at home alone - I'm trying to cut down. But I notice that I easily try to reduce stress by drinking.

-Meditation - Started daydreaming about the park. Maybe I should take the risk...

-Exercise once this week - Haven't done the exercises yet.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Lockdowns are kind of insane to me. From what I've read, the only way this virus is "going away" is once we develop herd immunity. But doesn't it delay herd immunity if we're only catching it in small bursts? IDK... I'm not a doctor and I try not to speculate. The way it's being handled in my community is waaay different from the rest of the world, it seems. The only thing that's really happened here is restaurants can only serve carry out food for the time being. For the most part it's still life as usual. A lot of people are being given the option to work from home but that's not going to happen for me... I suppose it makes sense that if the government employees stop working, there's nobody left to tell everybody else what they need to be doing. Lol.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
9 hours ago, ceponatia said:

Lockdowns are kind of insane to me. From what I've read, the only way this virus is "going away" is once we develop herd immunity. But doesn't it delay herd immunity if we're only catching it in small bursts? IDK... I'm not a doctor and I try not to speculate. The way it's being handled in my community is waaay different from the rest of the world, it seems. The only thing that's really happened here is restaurants can only serve carry out food for the time being. For the most part it's still life as usual. A lot of people are being given the option to work from home but that's not going to happen for me... I suppose it makes sense that if the government employees stop working, there's nobody left to tell everybody else what they need to be doing. Lol.

The idea is that nobody has immunity for it yet and letting everyone have the virus at the same would be destabilizing not only from the medical perspective, but from the economical too. Though I think you are right on that we will eventually have "herd immunity" as the end-goal of this.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 3/19/2020 at 10:47 PM, ceponatia said:

Lockdowns are kind of insane to me. From what I've read, the only way this virus is "going away" is once we develop herd immunity. But doesn't it delay herd immunity if we're only catching it in small bursts? IDK... I'm not a doctor and I try not to speculate. The way it's being handled in my community is waaay different from the rest of the world, it seems. The only thing that's really happened here is restaurants can only serve carry out food for the time being. For the most part it's still life as usual. A lot of people are being given the option to work from home but that's not going to happen for me... I suppose it makes sense that if the government employees stop working, there's nobody left to tell everybody else what they need to be doing. Lol.

Actually, because of how infectious it is (one of the most infectious pandemics in over 120 years), combined with the fact that there's neither cure nor vaccine for it means we're on our own in terms of immunity. Herd immunity doesn't mean that we as a group need to catch it, heal from it and thus get immune to catching it twice. Herd immunity means you as a group or a country remain untainted because you eliminate or prevent any infections before they can hit the entire herd. On top of that there's of course the economic argument. If we all get majorly sick at the same time, it's going to crash our country to the ground.

It's a new thing, so we can't really do anything to even the odds of surviving it. These things, historically speaking, come in waves and after you heal from it, you can get it a second time. So herd immunity is no guarantee. On top of that, it's a motherfucker of a bug. People who've recovered and walked away still have issues. Their lung capacity is reduced by up to 30%, some get heart issues because of the strain the bug put on their system. Imagine not being able to breath after breaking out in a brisk walk. You'd be kind of crippled for life if that's you. And after that, imagine getting it a second time... Vaccines are about 18 months away right now. An entire generation in Italy, a well-developed Western country, is dead now. Thousands and thousands of bodies. They die so quickly nowadays, funerals aren't even a thing anymore. It's mass graves. They've called in the army reserves to drive the military trucks filled with caskets. Hospitals have just stopped counting because the numbers on a daily basis are so baffling. 

I'd say lockdown is pretty waranted. I've been keeping a close eye on lots of news outlets. A friend of mine is in quarantine right now because a colleague of his got infected and tested. Where I am, it's everywhere and lots of people are falling like flies. If a country doesn't at least try to lockdown and use social distancing, I'm afraid it's only a matter of time before it's economy is paralyzed. Let alone the amount of body bags... The darkest thing about this is how invisible a killer it is. It takes a while before there's symptoms and before you legit get sick. But in that week before you go down, how many people do you interact with? Parties, office, supermarkets, religious congregations, ... And if all those people meet a similar amount of people in that week before they get sick? On a day to day basis, it's a slow moving thing if you look at the numbers. But on a week to week basis? It's a fucking landslide. Italy or Iran will never be the same. And I'm pretty sure the UK, Japan and the USA, all of which who are kind of shrugging in terms of quarantining and testing, are going to get hit in about two to three weeks I'd say. 

Edited by Phoenixking
DISCLAIMER: I WAS WRONG. Herd immunity is a totally different thing. But still a dangerous experiment to run with the immunities of a people...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Detox day 36. "Annoying."
 
It's annoying to only get to look at the same couple of walls day in, day out. Ugh. I wish this whole thing would get cured already... My mom used to be a nurse and she's so fucking eager to rush to the front lines. But I've seen videos of patients struggling to breathe. I understand her passion for medicine, but I'm kind of happy my country isn't hit that bad yet. We'll have to wait a week or two to be sure of that. In a couple of places they're summoning army reserves, retired doctors, nurses who have yet to finish their finals, ... If we fucked up the past few weeks somehow, it's going to hit us crazily in a week or two and I'm afraid my mom'd get summoned like that. I'd be proud and she'd be happy to make a difference. But her getting sick is not worth that...
 
On the bright side, my phone operator gave everybody in my country unlimited call minutes to spend. So I can call my entire isolated family today and ask how they're doing! Yay! And my friends and I are prepping a D&D-livestream this weekend so I get to make a new character to make people laugh ^^ There's silver linings everywhere!
 

Recent highlight: Whilst playing online D&D last night, my SO kept bringing me beer and food. How is that not a dream come true?

Budget status: Still have to send a few messages about checking amounts. I'm almost to 4000 bucks saved! If I reach 5000 I'll have reached a life goal I dreamt up years ago! I'll never have had that much money! 😄 Crazy!

My one goal for the next 24h: Call my relatives and see how they're doing

 

Maintained habits:

-Daily Japanese lesson - Done.

-Make the bed - Done.

-Drink enough water - Bottle is next to me. It's getting less and less hard to do.

-Brush teeth two times a day, floss and clean once a day - I'd listen to a podcast later today, so an ideal opportunity to get clean while doing that.

-No daydrinking at home alone - Had a couple of beers last night. It's hard not to. I think I drink daily nowadays.

-Meditation - For now I seem to be ok.

-Exercise once this week - I keep postponing doing the exercises. I've been gaining a bit of weight because of the last week.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Detox day 40. "Holiday."
 
Honestly, I don't recall ever being this relaxed. Because of everything stopping, stuff shutting down, places closing and events, media and the creative sector drying up, I've got no gigs or prospects. As a result, the amount of pressure I always seem to maintain has melted away. I've never been able to be this lazy and absolutely enjoy every moment of it, OMG. It's like I'm on vacation all of a sudden! I can watch anime, movies, series, fuck around with D&D. Nothing work related, all relaxed and free. I feel amazing. I've also never been so unproductive in years, hahaha. The dishes just lie there. And there's many of them. But that's also because I've been cooking omurice, Japanese curry, etc... I've been cooking a lot of cool stuff and my SO has been treating me to pancakes too. So many tasty things.
 
I've been minding my weight a bit too and how much I drink. I basically drink daily. Something while cooking or something I sip when I watch a movie, lazily spread out across the sofa. My SO keeps an eye on my drinking, though. But I don't feel like it's a real issue right now. I'm just letting off pent up steam. I should probably clean up the place a bit more since we're both stuck here together. I've also realized I should probably not read the world news for 3 hours a day XD I'll keep it down a bit starting with tomorrow. I'd like to start getting a bit more structure now in my life. Normally, I live by my planner. But now that it's been emptied out and everything got cancelled, I guess I should kick things off myself. But I've been postponing this. I will probably not get any more situations like these for years. Not a care on my mind. No upcoming gigs, not stress that I have to come up with a cool new idea, no script to be made. I know I could take the time and work on some project from home. But I still have years to do that and I'm seriously enjoying this downtime. I'll just work on doing some more chores instead of slacking.
 

Recent highlight: Making Omurice myself and finding decent Japanese rice

Budget status: Had a talk about her using the joint account for own purposes. Turns out I had to swallow some comments and apologize for being a tad too paranoid.

My one goal for the next 24h: Clean the kitchen.

 

Maintained habits:

-Daily Japanese lesson - All good.

-Make the bed - Done.

-Drink enough water - Oh shit. Been dropping this one again. Hopefully bringing more structure in my day is going to help this out a bit more.

-Brush teeth two times a day, floss and clean once a day - All good.

-No daydrinking at home alone - Haven't had a drink today yet, but have been drinking for about 4 days or something. Nothing major, one or a few a day.

-Meditation - I'm super relaxed.

-Exercise once this week - I did the exercises. Holy shit, was I sore afterwards! I got the next set and they're due tomorrow.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Detox day 41. "Ink."
 
I've made up my mind about what I want to do with my extra money. I've been saving quite an amount and I'm thinking of having my tattoos redone. They need a bit of attention since some parts seem faded. A touch up, if you will. I've always like the feeling of being inked. Every tattoo I have is something that holds deep, deep meaning. It's pretty, of course. But it's so much more to me that aesthetics. I've also been thinking of getting a new one. The long and awaited Phoenix King. A phoenix with a royal crown seen rising from its ashes. I'd love to put it on my back, to give the artist a big canvas to add lots of details. But also to cover up my shoulder blade tramp stamp XD
 
Today I've started my day better than yesterday. I feel like I'm revving up my engine again and becoming a bit more productive. Today already I've done the news, learned something about and played some chess, found a new anime, had breakfast with my SO, did all of my social media and it's not even 2 pm yet. I'm to work out today, make some spaghetti sauce and get all of our fresh veggies into that bubbling pot (we don't want to waste anything!). I'll get some paperwork done, insurances and car payment and clean up the kitchen after I'm done with it. Tonight I'm taking out the trash too and by tomorrow, I'll hopefully feel like a new man. It feels good to have time, feel free and happy and still be productive instead of lazy and chill. The latter is also fun, don't get me wrong. But this feels a bit better and I can still lie down and watch anime for an hour if I'd want to.  
 

Recent highlight: Watching one of my favorite movies 'Revolver' and seeing my girl perk up and be curious about all of the layers in the film.

Budget status: Just finished our monthly budget, right on cue. So that means our financial plan is on point for now.

My one goal for the next 24h: Either clean the kitchen or work out.

 

Maintained habits:

-Daily Japanese lesson - Done, almost on a 30-day-streak

-Make the bed - Done.

-Drink enough water - Goddammit. Thank god I have this diary to remind me. I keep slipping! I drink water daily, though. Thank heavens, but I also keep forgetting to log it in my app.

-Brush teeth two times a day, floss and clean once a day - Did it yesterday and I'll prolly do it after the workout.

-No daydrinking at home alone - Didn't have anything yesterday.

-Meditation - I'd like to visit the park. But I'm afraid it'd be super crowded and I like it to be alone time for me.

-Exercise once this week - Gonna break a sweat in a sec!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, Phoenixking said:

I've made up my mind about what I want to do with my extra money. I've been saving quite an amount and I'm thinking of having my tattoos redone

I hate to sound like an old man, but I'd hold off for a year if they're expensive because we don't really know what life will be like with the virus. It's going to come back in November since there is no vaccine yet. You mentioned no gigs right now. Just keep that in mind. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
18 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

I hate to sound like an old man, but I'd hold off for a year if they're expensive because we don't really know what life will be like with the virus. It's going to come back in November since there is no vaccine yet. You mentioned no gigs right now. Just keep that in mind. 

Oh yeah, I've just started the process of looking for an artist. After some scouring the internet I found somebody near Orléans that might be cut from the right cloth. But if they're popular, you have to take into account you'll wait for the better part of a year to see them. On top of that, it might be multiple sessions and it's a whole day of driving just to reach the place so I'll need a good hotel nearby and thus will most likely combine it all with some sort of holiday nearby. Always did want to see some lavender fields in France. This whole spiel will probably take about 3 years in total starting from now. So take it with a grain of salt. I'm not spending my money right now. Just decided what to do with it ^^ But thanks in any case. Luckily because of some circumstances, gigs or no gigs, I'm doing okay in terms of finances 🙂 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Detox day 42. "Cleaning."
 
Today I have more energy. I'm back to my old self again. The self that is bad at sitting down, relaxing and being still. I'm getting fidgety as we speak. I'm eager to do shit. Nothing crazy going on in life for the moment, though. I'll probably just clean the place and maybe watch a movie. My SO is making banana bread and bread pudding. So as soon as I've cleaned the kitchen, she'll most likey make it dirty again XD Cleaning really is a never ending chore... *sigh*
 

Recent highlight: Working out yesterday. I was tired, beat down and empty. But I still persisted. I was doing punching combos and it felt, for a second, like I was at practice. They do these drill at the end where you close your eyes and somebody attacks you, you must respond properly and safeguard yourself and your surroundings and then do a burpee and then close your eyes again. It wears you out almost instantly. After two or three reps you're heaving. But there's 10 more to go. So it really puts you in a simulated position where you're being pushed to your brim, but you still need to be able to keep yourself safe.

Budget status: Paying our first car payment today.

My one goal for the next 24h: Either clean the kitchen or do the laundry.

 

Maintained habits:

-Daily Japanese lesson - On point.

-Make the bed - Done.

-Drink enough water - Trying again today. Bottle next to me. 

-Brush teeth two times a day, floss and clean once a day - I'll probably shower somewhere later today, so I'll do it then.

-No daydrinking at home alone - Had one glass of wine. Might quit for a week or so to see what it does to my quality of sleep.

-Meditation - I'm slowly starting to crave some true alone time.

-Exercise once this week - Sore from yesterday. Have more workouts coming. First one was rough. Second one went better, I was able to finish all of the exercises. Next one should thus improve once again ^^

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Detox day 43. "Prepping."
 
Today I'll be taking a walk with my SO. I finally contacted several places about money. Paycheck that still need to come in, my unemployment money being almost halved, ... Stuff like that. I'll also start prepping my D&D-session I'll be hosting this Sunday. All online of course. So it's going to take some extra time to compensate for the amount of drama, nuance and tension that might be missing from an otherwise live and in person session.
 
I'm starting to realize I've been given the gift of time and I'd like to try and be more productive. I keep doing household chores and reading the news. But I feel like I could progress stuff in other ways a bit more. I play chess, improve my Japanese and other things. So it's not like I'm lying on the couch all day. But I still feel like I could be doing something more with my time somehow.

Recent highlight: Friend sent an audio file, a few actually, using 8D tech. It's amazing. It's like being in the room with the artists. I hope to find some more things like that this afternoon.

Budget status: Hopefully my monthly unemployment money won't be slashed. If so, I'm sure I'll figure out something to compensate.

My one goal for the next 24h: Prep my D&D session.

 

Maintained habits:

-Daily Japanese lesson - 30 days streak!

-Make the bed - SO woke up after me, she left it in tatters a bit.

-Drink enough water - Yesterday was swell. 

-Brush teeth two times a day, floss and clean once a day - Done.

-No daydrinking at home alone - Starting today, going a week without alchohol to see if my sleep improves. Day one is today.

-Meditation - Going out for a relaxing walk today.

-Exercise once this week - Going out for a walk today, planned a workout tomorrow.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Detox day 44. "The calm before the storm."
 
Slept horribly. Not only did I drink last night (my SO opened a bottle of sparkling wine and offered me a glass or two, while she kept bringing over delicious snacks and dips when I was videochatting with a group of my friends), I also kept waking up last night and this morning. I really don't understand it. It's like my SO is sleeping more restlessly. She doesn't just turn around in bed, she does so while wildly flailing her arms in an almost cartoonish way. I've been on the receiving end of it twice now, and a third time it's knocked down a bedside LED reading light. She's also unable to move around the bed without dragging the sheets away from me. It's uncanny. I've started laughing about how ludicrous it is at some points. Be it on the couch, in bed or wherever. As soon as we share a blanket of some sorts, the covers wil àlways gravitate towards her. Not on purpose or something. She just moves to the side of the coach, stretches to get something from a table and suddenly, she takes the whole blanket with her. Like it sticks to her legs or something. So at night, especially when I'm about to doze off, I keep getting the blankets pulled away from me. On top of that, there's the breakfast and the sex. She wanted to have sex a few times this week and thus, to make things a bit more playful, we both had to initiate twice in four days. We're over halfway now and she's both done nothing yet and also refused me twice. Like, yeah honey, it's cool that you came up with this idea and wanted to amp things up a bit, but you're actually going to have to do something yourself too! She insists she needs a bit more structure and wants to have breakfast at 10:30 am sharp. I'm always up at that time. She's not... *sigh*. She's been in a videomeeting twice and has stayed in bed past that time. Normally, that wouldn't bother me at all. I'm an awful morning person myself and you can't fully control your work schedule. If you have a meeting, you have a meeting. But she keeps coming up with all these initiatives and ideas and she's the first to not bother with them. It feels so immature. It's probably the quarantine driving me mad a bit. It's normal to get pissed at each other when you're kind of locked in. But it's still not very pleasant. I'm happy I'll be able to focus my attention today on prepping my D&D-session tomorrow. I just hope that it won't get ruined by technical issues...
 

Recent highlight: Doing a group video chat with my friends. Technical issues chimed in so I cut it off, but it was still nice to see and hear them.

Budget status: Don't have my phone on my so I can't check. But all should be okay.

My one goal for the next 24h: Prep my D&D session.

 

Maintained habits:

-Daily Japanese lesson - 31 days streak and still going strong!

-Make the bed - SO woke up after me again, so I assume it's in shambles, haha.

-Drink enough water - First bottle has been drunk. 

-Brush teeth two times a day, floss and clean once a day - Will do it in a bit, when I shower.

-No daydrinking at home alone - Failed day one, haha. So I'll try again today, I guess.

-Meditation - The walk was nice, but I really need some quiet time alone... A hard thing to come by these days.

-Exercise once this week - Still a bit sore from the walk yesterday. My one leg is longer than the other, so my gait is a bit weird. I wear soles to compensate, but it seems that my one leg is still clearly more sore than the other.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
6 hours ago, Phoenixking said:

On top of that, there's the breakfast and the sex. She wanted to have sex a few times this week and thus, to make things a bit more playful, we both had to initiate twice in four days. We're over halfway now and she's both done nothing yet and also refused me twice. Like, yeah honey, it's cool that you came up with this idea and wanted to amp things up a bit, but you're actually going to have to do something yourself too! She insists she needs a bit more structure and wants to have breakfast at 10:30 am sharp. I'm always up at that time. She's not... *sigh*.

I found out that after a week of initial re-adjustment in the quarantine, it helped me to get up at 6:30 with no issues, perhaps because I hardly have any meetings in the evening nowadays. The current situation is actually pretty good in forging new habits and detecting disfunctional ones.

Edited by Ikar
  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Detox day 45. "The invisible fight."
 
Yesterday, my SO threw a bit of a fit over having to go groceries shopping alone. I didn't really have the time to do it and she's got a bike and we only needed bits and bobs. Suggesting she do it alone was met with outrage. She responded rather mopey and childish in my view, but hey, nobody's perfect. She ended up majorly pissing me off by taking my bike instead of hers. My bike is a standard thing, but cost me quite the pretty penny. I don't like it when she uses it. Last time she used it without me asking, she ended up losing the chainlock. How do you even do that? I was rather angry then and we'd agree she'd only use her bike from that point on. It's a new bike, but it's a weird and clunky thing. Big, heavy and we had to assemble it ourselves and by we I mean I had to. Safe to say it's a crude vehicle. She's had it for months though. Lots of opportunities to either have it fixed, buy a new one, try to fix it herself, or whatever. I feel like it's not her fault it's a crappy bike, she was dealt a bad hand. But it ís her responsibility to deal with the situation. And she's had loads of time to do so. But she postpones it. So it infuratiates me if she 'steals' my bike again. After she came home, all hissy, I noticed she'd gone with my bike. I didn't say anything yet as I was cooking some Japanese rice. It takes about 2 hours to do so, we were going to make sushi. But I'd forgotten we'd agreed to takeout and the stuff she'd gotten from the store turned out to be frozen, so sushi would have to wait. So I ended up cooking rice for nothing, since you can't use that kind of sticky rice the day after because it loses it's stickyness. She'd been giving me snappy answers and ignoring me and whenever I wanted to start the conversation, she'd ignore me and mention she was not available because she was videochatting with her friends.
 
Fucking infuriating. We've been fighting for about 24 hours now. Our longest yet. I both hate this, because we love each other and we're better than this. But on the other hand, I feel like I have to make a stand. We had a talk last time, she'd agreed to not use my bike and not at all go behind my back. It's a petty thing of mine, I admit. But it's about the principle of mutually agreeing to things and then whenever she's to lazy to bother, break that promise. That shit doesn't fly with me. And not even at all when being all mopey, bitchy and snappy about it. Fucking infuriating... 
 
I slept horribly, obviously. Been eating waaay less. Typical. I'm obviously very upset and emotional. But I still feel like she should apologize to me. I feel wronged. I could notice in bed she's been tossing and turning too. She's down and upset too. But she's not doing anything about it. Scrolling on her phone, sighing, calling her friends and scrolling more... I don't want to budge, I don't want to be the bigger man, I'm too angry to be rational and calm. I've never been this angry at her, it's crazy! It's also very likely the quarantine crazies. We're not made to spend this much time in such a small space together, of course. I hunger for some quality me-time. But I can't have it of course. This fucking sucks. I barely ate or slept. 
 

Recent highlight: My D&D-group had a fictional funeral for an NPC that died. That was pretty cool...

Budget status: Nothing specific to report.

My one goal for the next 24h: Sleep and eat and heal a bit from the last 24h. I'd also like to spend some time at the park. Alone.

 

Maintained habits:

-Daily Japanese lesson - I think I'll skip it this day. I have other things on my mind.

-Make the bed - SO woke up after me again. I don't have to go and look to know it's most likely messy.

-Drink enough water - Didn't drink any today.

-Brush teeth two times a day, floss and clean once a day - Did it this morning, automatically.

-No daydrinking at home alone - So yesterday went well and so did today. Despite craving it and despite the fight. I could sure use something to blow off some steam.

-Meditation - Either tomorrow morning or the day after I could go for a walk. I just have to figure out a clever time. Maybe around noon, so everybody is at home eating but I can enjoy the quiet.

-Exercise once this week - I could do with a workout, I feel.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...