Phoenixking 748 Posted June 24, 2018 Share Posted June 24, 2018 (edited) I was about to call this "The Rise of the PhoenixKing" but then I realized that this journal is less about rising from the ashes and more about maintaining a healthy and new lifestyle. Such a thing cannot be achieved overnight and then be left alone. One must tend to one's garden and one must do so regularly or the crops get fucked up. I hereby vow to improve my life. I will not play a single video game. I will also quit porn and quit browsing Reddit on my phone. All these things take up too much space in my brain, I feel they are problematic and they limit me from becoming my true self. I feel as if my entire life I've allowed myself to be inhibited, to be numbed in a way. No more. I was a tad skeptical at first but now that I'm writing it, I already feel the influence. I'm an entertainer and I used to do so professionally. When there's an audience involved, I tend to perform better. So what will I try to achieve and then maintain? I want to finish reading Respawn and stick to everything it advises me to do. I want to find fulfillment and joy and this in the form a good job. Right now I have a boring job in administration. I used to be a freelance speaker, comedian and did work for tv. Can you imagine how empty I feel some days? Combined with the neurological and chemical shitshow in my brain from detoxing both porn and games and the discovery that I might have ADHD. It's going to be a bit of an uphill battle. But what good is any hero in any story, if there aren't any maddening obstacles involved? So no porn, no games, a better life in general and a way better job specifically. I would also like to bring my body back up to par but that's a long game we're playing. I miss running and exercising so badly. I used to play a few types of sport. My knees got hurt and any strain would result in inflammations. But every single day I try to do my exercises the physical therapist gave me. He said I should be able to run safely by the end of the year. I used to have daily pains and that's over now. I used to not be able to walk long distances, but I managed to 'survive' Disneyland with my SO. This is where it starts. As far as I'm concerned, this is my Genesis. Thank you for reading. Edited August 2, 2020 by Phoenixking Spelling - Anonymity 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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