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Tzen1

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  1. Tzen1

    Tzen's Journal

    Days 82- 84 Cravings have finally gone down for the media side and I feel like I'm getting back to normal again. No work on the house this weekend as the wife came down with a cold or sinus infection. We will see on Monday but being sick is no fun no matter who you are. Got to see one of my best friends on Friday and catch up a bit which was nice. The best part, I was able to take about some games with him and no cravings what so ever arose. It felt good to not want to play games all the time. To no want to crave the latest and greatest or worry about what's coming out. I'm more interested in house renovations at the moment and have a book already planned for my next read over the matter. @30_yrs_of_gaming and @TTTshout out to these two guys for almost finishing their 90. You guys got this and I'll see y'all at the finish line soon. It's the final week for me so it's time to buckle down and finish strong. -Cheers Tzen
  2. Just a couple more days! Once you reach your 90 I'll be right behind you. Finish strong brother!
  3. Hey I hope everything is going good and your school year is getting better. Been awhile since your last update so I hope everything is alright.
  4. Tzen1

    Tzen's Journal

    I have a friend who is reading my journal right now. Shout out to him for reminding me to fill out today's entry. I didn't realize how many days went by already without an update! Days 78 - 81 (writing on day 82) With sub jobs starting to become a little more frequent work has slowly started to come in. I'm grateful for being able to start earning something to help out with our income but it's still not where I want to be. I used to use gaming as an escape right now trying not to think about not being able to teach for another year. I had the grip come back to me these past few days as I was craving 100 percent, not playing games, but just reading updates over Monster Hunter news. It got to the point that I would type it in on Google and YouTube that I would have to stop my self before clicking a video or a news article. It probably was my closest call yet to ruining my streak. So it's been really tough these past few days. I almost felt guilty about just typing the words on the search bar. Other than that though its been good with plenty of work to be done around the house and studying to do. T-minus 9 days. -Cheers Tzen
  5. Tzen1

    Tzen's Journal

    Day 75 - 77 Thanks @Lea & @BooksandTrees! I have found an app to combat this for now. Funny enough, the app is called Appblock, it lets me select the apps I want to block and locks me out of them. I set up times when I want to be locked out, so I did from 8 am to 7 pm, and turn on strict mode so I can not edit my settings. I also set up a time frame at night as well so if I randomly wake up during the night then I won't be able to browse the internet to fall back asleep. So these past few days I decided on what I can do for now as small goals. Home projects, I want to be able to improve one thing in our house. Does not matter if it's big or small just doing one small project a day. I also started to study a bit more and focusing on this test I am signing up for. I have failed it 4 times already and under our education laws I only have one more shot before the price of the test doubles in price and I have to apply for a waiver. I am a bad test-taker, always have been, to the point I would rather write essays and do research papers as I enjoy those more. So I am going to beat this test this month and beat this addiction so this is a big month for me. Speaking of the detox, I like to browse YouTube's trending section to try and broaden my views on different subjects. As I was scrolling down a Nintendo direct was on the list and it didn't phase me. I wanted to watch I will admit but it felt good knowing that I didn't know that one was coming, not worrying about the hype of new things coming, and not having the mentality that I have to buy these games to be happy. That line as well feels so good to say, "not having the mentality that I have to buy these games to be happy", with the house I want to start expanding my tools selection. My best friend and his family set me up pretty well with a toolbox as a wedding gift awhile back and I'll always be grateful for that gift. While I did not have much use for it in an apartment complex now that we are in a house it has become the biggest lifesaver. I want to expand on this though and be ready for anything that comes my way. My biggest goal for house projects fixing up is an old shed that I have talked about in previous posts. Its finally starting to look decent other than the rat that died under the shed. It needs some fresh nail in the wood and some new wood on the bottom of the shed. Lastly, I need to caulk it close because every time I open it there is always a lizard on the floor. So that is the ultimate goal. T-minus 13 days -Cheers Tzen
  6. Tzen1

    Tzen's Journal

    Day 74 (Writing on day 75) The mornings have become a troublesome spot during my day. On days I'm not substituting, I find myself laying in bed longer and just being on my phone mindlessly browsing the internet (Reddit, Imgur, YouTube, etc.). Then after getting out of bed, I sit in my chair and just stay on my phone. The funny thing about me is that once I start working on whatever needs to be done then I am good to go. I worked for 4ish hours yesterday on the house, getting on the roof and clearing all the leaves and sticks, checking on the shed and figuring out what I need to do on it, and working on setting up new light fixtures in the guest bathroom. Just starting the day though is hard and I believe my phone is to blame. So I think my goal for these last 15 days is to limit screen time to 2 or 3 hours and avoid the need to constantly check my phone. I also think this will help my FOMO out as well in the long run. If there are any apps the can help reduce phone screen time, like something that can lock out certain apps, that would be awesome if y'all could recommend any! With 15 days left of the official detox, I plan on continuing past the 90-day mark until I take my social studies certification. After the test, I will slowly reintroduce gaming in moderation. Gone are the days of multiplayer games, except couch coop with the wife, it will be a single-player only life for me. 9/20 is day 90, no way am I losing the fight now! -Cheers Tzen
  7. Tzen1

    Tzen's Journal

    @Ikar man that is the freaking truth! It's really true though life is the ultimate SP game. Day 72-73 Had a super proud moment today! I finally finished cleaning out all the trash (which was so much) that was in our backyard. It felt good to know that I accomplished that and honestly o think if I was still on video games the back yard would have taken ages to finish. Next to tackle is the shed but we have spent a tad bit on money and need to cut back a bit. It's funny how one image can almost ruin your no game spree. I was looking on my phone checking out some videos I saved that I wanted to watch later and out of nowhere, even after I cleared my history at the beginning of this detox, I get one picture of a Monster Hunter World. While I have treated that game like a single player game because it's just easier. It was hard not to watch the updates on what's going on with that game as it was really the only game I was looking forward to this year. Other than some co op games for the switch for me and my wife. The streak remains unbroken but man it's tough as nails right now not to go look at the news. Anyway more work tomorrow cleaning gutters and the roof so rain can flow better. Here's to staying away from media content! -Cheers Tzen
  8. I haven't been bed sick in a while but I haven't even thought once what i would do if I was in bed all day. Movies and tv can only get so far because our brains are ready to work and be simulated! I think what you did was alright, as long as you can uninstall the games on your phone easily and move on once your feeling better then it shows that this program is helping you. Don't let a couple days on your phone get you down especially while you were sick. It's all good and just get to feeling better! Lots of rest and water that's the best medicine! Good luck! Edited P.S. A good stimulated game to play every once and a while is chess. Might be a bit slow paced but it gets the brain thinking!
  9. Tzen1

    Tzen's Journal

    Day of 72 , entries 67-71 @Ikar you know what's funny? Is that before I quit this also was a problem for me. I spent so much time looking for another multiplayer game I could just pick up and be good at and I kept making myself feel disappointed that I could never reach the top even after countless hours in the game. It was such a bad cycle that I would lead my mind down a dark path and set myself up for failure. It wasn't until a week or two before I quit gaming that I came to appreciate single player games. Like being able to open a book with no pressure, it was comforting to not worry about having to be good and to show up other people whom I'll never meet IRL. Because in the end, nobody cares about your online gaming achievements and that's a line that was also hard for me to accept. These past few days have been busy. I finally tackled the shed full of rat poop and urine. I took every precaution as best as I could in order to not get sick. The yard is starting to finally not look like a trash pile and I have just a little bit more work to do. Thinking of a good hobby is still tough right now my mind has been on diy stuff so maybe it's time to really make that my hobby and learn how to upkeep a house. While cravings have been low to none about playing games I did have a moment that told me im doing the right thing in continuing this journal. While I was grocery shopping I went past electronics and went down the video game aisle. While it was for a brief moment I just peeked at the switch games that were out before I walked away. But why? Why do I have the need to check what was out? I fear my FOMO is a lot worse than I realized and I still have a long way to go in order to beat it. Just more work I need to do on my self. While I'm down to my last 20 days it is probably for the best that I continue the journal until I get to a more comfortable point. If I ever return to games and learn to play in moderation I think it's best to follow cams advice and stick to single player games. If that doesn't pan out well I'll be back and start this process again but for good. -Cheers Tzen
  10. It's awesome your doing this journal! While I don't have kids yet this quote is one of my motivators. I want to be able to play games with my kid and show them what I grew up with. But I need to learn my own self control not only for myself; but also to teach my kid not to rush to video games everyday. I want to be able to show my kid that there is more to life than a screen. Parents didn't know about the effects of video games back in the day but now we have the knowledge to make the change and give them a healthy lifestyle that we now have to work hard to break. You got this and good luck with your journey! Keep up with the journal when you can it really does help.
  11. Tzen1

    Tzen's Journal

    @BooksandTrees you do whatever it takes to beat the addiction. I also get from where your coming from as well. At times it seems every twitch channel you hop on is almost the same just a different face or not even one sometimes. Also if you did leave in anger make sure to try and release it from your mind. Anytime gaming thoughts that might come in could also be a cause for extra stress. You can beat the stress!
  12. Man that has to be the hardest lesson right now. To appreciate the downtime and that it's ok to watch tv or read and relax. I feel like that my day has to be full of anything to be productive. Due to video games I actually had no idea that what I was feeling for so long was stress. When I stopped gaming my mind flooded with my hypocondria because it was empty and filled the void. I wish there was a easy solution to all of it. But the hardest thing was to accept that nothing was wrong with me and just relax. I also tried antidepressants again for 2 days per my doc but the side effects are just too much for me it hits me day 1. After stopping my brain just resets, I don't really know how to explain it. But coming to terms that nothing is wrong is damn tough but possible. Hang in there man answers will come to you.
  13. Tzen1

    Tzen's Journal

    Day 66 Today was a productive day on the back half. Woke up in the morning checking for substitute jobs to pick up. Since it is still the beginning of school not much open right now. Spent the first half of my morning on my phone some just browsing but more of research. The house we bought came with a shed, full of rat poop and urine. Well after lots of research and a new goal in mind it's time to clean up the shed and back yard! Towards the end of the day I felt good and is just more of a reminder that working out feels good. About to hop into bed and read some more of my book. Tomorrow is another day working outside! I also want to leave yall with this video. If you have not seen this motivational speech it's amazing! -Cheers Tzen
  14. Odd thing to quote I know. In hindsight, if your over 30 or 35 it's good to get a colonoscopy done every 5 to 7 years. Also, if you do get it see how much an endoscopy would be as well; same doc and what not just the tube goes through the other hole. If your under 30 and getting it then it depends more up to you. Stress does wonders to the body I know first hand. All my stomach pain, thinking I have appendicitis, urine pressure and amount, all stress and hypocondria. Everything was in my head. But from what you were saying about your symptoms sometimes it doesn't hurt to get the ole tubes checked out.
  15. Tzen1

    Tzen's Journal

    Day 61 - 65 Man I have been bad about posting on here I need to be more diligent. This has always been a problem for me irl vs gaming, just do it. It doesn't really stem from satisfaction or anything like that it's just lazy and not finding my motivation within myself to do things. I can accomplish things and get them done but it's hard to start. Once I start though I'm on it until it gets done it's just beginning that I have trouble with. These past 5 days have been good and some substitute jobs are starting to pop up slowly. Game cravings are still low, the music no longer plays in my head unless I think about it. The media aspect however is still something I miss. While I don't miss the constant YouTube ads or sellout streamers on twitch but the charity side of things. The hardest part about starting this journey over the summer was missing out in sgdq (summer games done quick) and support the people who play games for charity money. It's been my favorite event these past few summers and to miss it was tough. I know in the long run the media side will get just as low as the cravings will in time. Being diligent is tough sometimes but I will not falter and I will accomplish these 90 days. I know media is my biggest problem but to all you MMO people stay strong! I know it is a tough day for you people but you can do it! You won't get any satisfaction from playing and watching. You can do it people! -Cheers Tzen
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