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About Alexanderle

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  1. I also often have this problem. I can really relate. What was the difference this time? Because I way to often struggle with that. Especially before lectures, I even avoid looking those people in the eye, I actually know.
  2. Alexanderle

    New Me

    Welcome and good luck with your process. 🙂
  3. And this is, what I think, triggers relapses. That is why smokers for instance crave a cigarette. Not even, because they like the smoke or taste of the cigarette. Even though they completely hate it now, they just what this emptiness and the negative cravings to go away. So they relapse. Which means one thing: Focussing on those cravings and on the possibility of craving and noting being "allowed" to do something, is not a good idea. So what is a good idea? I think it is crucial to have plans. Having a couple of things that fulfill you and give you power can create enough momentum that not gaming becomes easy. A little inspiration: What can be useful for every person, regardless of the personality: Eating healthy, exercising, enough sleep, morning routine a clean room -> a healthy person taking care of him/herself I pretty much did that stuff, before I quit gaming. Almost one year before, I changed my diet drastically. This created enough momentum, so that one year later, I also become an industrious person and I was so busy that at some point, I was not gaming for 2 weeks, without even noticing. So than I also quit that and deinstalled everything gaming related. Has been easy for me ever since. Now I also try to use this for even more areas of my life, like my social life for instance. Therefore, it is good to answer those questions for yourself and use that as a direction. Not the negative like I can't, but the positive I want. That can be a gamechanger. Can you elaborate that? Maybe you have already done, what I meant on top, but I just did not understand it properly.
  4. I was thinking the same thing numerous times. But first, the chance of total collapse and relapse is always possible, so I feel, an extra safety margin is nice to have. Second, I like to use my journal now as a collection of my own thoughts and ideas for other areas of my life. And I also like to help others throughout their journey. I don't know why, it just feels good to give. But yeah, in general, I understand your mindset.
  5. @Xgamer I think you are feeling the first important sensation, which is that you cannot go back. That this is not the turning point, where you finally gonna change it. The next big point is to stop caring. Who cares, if you relapse after one month? This just means that you resisted for ONE WHOLE MONTH! Isn't this incredible? One day of relapse and then you just continue again. It is all about moving forward. It is not important, whether you are at day 6, day 14 or day 100. Yes, this is a nice accomplishment and some good measurement of your success. But the journey is so much more important. Where you are right now. You are focused too much on the feeling of "not playing". Your goal now is to focus on what you can become instead. Where you want to end up. Who you want to be. Who do you want to become?
  6. Wow I just was reading this post. This is really great stuff. Made me consider some things.
  7. @ceponatia I mean, isn't this way of support similar to the support on gamequitters? Like counting the number of days of not fapping and counting the number of days of not gaming? With the promise that after 100 days of not fapping or 90 days of gaming detox the "magic" begins, where you start to feel a lot better? 😄
  8. @ceponatia I couldn't agree more. That is the sad truth.
  9. Feminism is once again another of those movements, where the original idea was good (more chances etc. for women), but slowly turned into this crazy movement, where feminists fight almost everything. So insane. And in what universe does a woman take of charge of her sexuality by being fucked in the ..., pissed on or being gagged? 😕 That is definitely BS.
  10. Just something out of curiousity. As I was just discussing something about the nofap movement with @ceponatia isn't this a similar problem with the pickup movement? Some dudes, which try to come up with a concept to solve a serious problem (giving guys some confidence to deal with approach anxiety and so that they can start dating), but turned it into some kind of pseudoscience, where it becomes quite complicated and messy with the goal to turn you into some kind of superman? And then claim to have better health, more confidence, more sex, better skin and whatever they claim happens? Nofap does the same, only that they tried to help porn addicts and are now turning not fapping into a pseudoscience where your absinence will also turn you into superman. I see some comparable aspects. ^^
  11. I do understand it quite well, as I suffered from it and quite recently, I relapsed on it. And this can really kill of your libido. But totally not doing anything anymore did not work for me. It was more like focusing on other more meaningful things in my life. And I am sure, this will solve itself again. I feel that with 27 years, I am still in my "prime" and feel all these feelings quite strong. And you are right regarding the ethical perspective of the women's side. If we analyze it from that perspective, there is really disgusting stuff going on in the pornography business. Like serious stuff and I feel, if I would ever have to participate in some of the aweful "practices", I would never recover from it. 😄
  12. @ceponatia Thats what I am saying: If this stuff is helping porn addicts to get rid of a really annoying behavior - awesome, I am totally fine with that. The rest is just like you said a pseudoscience.
  13. You also have not give an update since a couple of days. How is your current status going? 🙂
  14. @ceponatia thanks for the recommendation. I will look into it. 🙂 @Amphibian220 It is going on quite well reagarding exercise, diet and learning. I eat, what I want to eat and cook a little mit more lately. My exercising goes better than ever. I am learning, how I intend and even stuff like painting and language learning is going alright. I feel that I already made some great improvement regarding my portraits and I use my nba league pass to learn some spanish as well as Netflix and Duolingo for Dutch. Quite intriguing. The biggest struggle is still communication with peers. I feel to be a little bit more relaxed and I have someone to sit next to the lecture, but it is still a long way to go. 😕 I feel a bit stuck, as I am not sure, how to properly proceed and get over myself, but as long as their are even small improvements it is ok. But yeah, not satisfying. I hope you are ok as well!
  15. Well, you have a solid fundament to build on. While some days were under average, focus on those days, where you did amazing and use that for your advantage.
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