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TheNewMe2.0's Journal - A Better Life


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20 minutes ago, Erik2.0 said:

Day 159 NP 122 Np 112 Med 98 NF 15

Positive post: I'm alive, I'm breathing and I like water. 

Today's kind of a down day for me. Yesterday I spent some time talking with my housemate. This made me unhappy for the next 24 hours pretty much. Nothing rude was really said although I tend not to like what or how she says what she says. I most of all just don't like her vibe. I wanted to say that my drawings are mostly copies. I try to copy other manga artists in the hopes of getting better and I've been getting better at copying. I'm seriously feeling kind of dead today though. My Dr. said my meds will stop fatiguing me soon so that's good news. Work hasn't been too hard thankfully. Telehealth is easier in a lot of ways than in person was. No one attacks me is probably the best part. 

I kind of wish I had a coloring book right about now. I'm kind of tired of drawing and it'd be nice to color someone else's drawing instead of my own for a change.

Well. It's a down day. I'm just going to try to last out the last hours of the day until it's time to sleep and hope tomorrow will be better. Which I believe it will as long as I continue to keep my distance from housemates. 

I smiled at my clients

I accomplished drawing things

I am grateful for my work, my life, love, happiness, hurting, life lessons, god, my mom, pens and kindle.

God bless

Erik

Order a coloring book on Amazon? Sometimes conversation with people you don't like really crushes you. I got depressed after talking to my parents on Saturday and felt better on Sunday. I hope you turn the page on that one and feel better tomorrow. 

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Hi,

 

It’s ok have down days. Wish I could send over a coloring book with pencils along with a big hug. 
 

Thank you for sharing your story and showing support to myself and so many on this forum.

 

Have a beautiful day. 

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@BooksandTrees I think I'll give a coloring book a try. Sounds like you're able to spend time away from your parents now which is good. I'm mostly able to avoid my housemate. 

@Icandothis Thank you. I do try to be supportive and I think people are pretty good on here in general. 

Day 160 NP 123 Np 113 Med 99 NF 16

Positive post: I got a lot of sleep, finished a short work day and did some chin ups.

I did 7 chin ups. Which is great for me. After that I could only do 5 on the subsequent sets, but that's fine. Lately I've just been feeling like all I want to do is make the day not hurt so much until I get to go to bed. I know I'll stop being so sleepy once my meds acclimate. Till then I'll just deal with the sleepiness as best I can. Avoiding my housemate is going pretty well. We talked for like 30 seconds while putting away groceries which I would've preferred to do in silence. It's hard to just not respond when she asks me questions. . . maybe I could just not respond . . . would that be too mean/awkward? I'm gonna keep trying to draw from imagination and not just copy. Although my new subject for copying is producing nice images imho. 

My dad wasn't so nice to me on our recent call. He was hungry and just got off work so I think that's why. Still better than my sis I suppose. My therapist wants me to get outside my room more. So I'm going to try to draw in the backyard and see how that goes. I just don't want to have any potential interaction with my housemate by leaving my room for non-essential tasks basically. Yep. This is my life. It's not so bad. I gotta make some food tonight. Chicken and broccoli for sure with some asian sauce. 

I smiled at my drawing.

I accomplished eating pizza.

I am grateful for pizza, manga, anime, girls, school girls, wolf girls, butterflies, burps, water, organic milk and life.

God bless

Erik

C61547AD-D089-4A95-91C5-159764C14F08.jpeg

Edited by Erik2.0
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27 minutes ago, Erik2.0 said:

@BooksandTrees I think I'll give a coloring book a try. Sounds like you're able to spend time away from your parents now which is good. I'm mostly able to avoid my housemate. 

@Icandothis Thank you. I do try to be supportive and I think people are pretty good on here in general. 

Day 160 NP 123 Np 113 Med 99 NF 16

Positive post: I got a lot of sleep, finished a short work day and did some chin ups.

I did 7 chin ups. Which is great for me. After that I could only do 5 on the subsequent sets, but that's fine. Lately I've just been feeling like all I want to do is make the day not hurt so much until I get to go to bed. I know I'll stop being so sleepy once my meds acclimate. Till then I'll just deal with the sleepiness as best I can. Avoiding my housemate is going pretty well. We talked for like 30 seconds while putting away groceries which I would've preferred to do in silence. It's hard to just not respond when she asks me questions. . . maybe I could just not respond . . . would that be too mean/awkward? I'm gonna keep trying to draw from imagination and not just copy. Although my new subject for copying is producing nice images imho. 

My dad wasn't so nice to me on our recent call. He was hungry and just got off work so I think that's why. Still better than my sis I suppose. My therapist wants me to get outside my room more. So I'm going to try to draw in the backyard and see how that goes. I just don't want to have any potential interaction with my housemate by leaving my room for non-essential tasks basically. Yep. This is my life. It's not so bad. I gotta make some food tonight. Chicken and broccoli for sure with some asian sauce. 

I smiled at my drawing.

I accomplished eating pizza.

I am grateful for pizza, manga, anime, girls, school girls, wolf girls, butterflies, burps, water, organic milk and life.

God bless

Erik

C61547AD-D089-4A95-91C5-159764C14F08.jpeg

Don't avoid the housemate. I made that mistake with my former roommates and it created untold animosity and we almost fought. Just find ways to deal with the interaction and move on. It sounds like she's not attacking you like your sister was either. 

Drawing outside is a good idea. Have you tried finding any podcasts to listen to? I've found that to be a chill hobby. 

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8 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

Don't avoid the housemate. I made that mistake with my former roommates and it created untold animosity and we almost fought. Just find ways to deal with the interaction and move on. It sounds like she's not attacking you like your sister was either.

Avoiding is not the best option, in my opinion too. I did that last year, and it was fine in a sense there was not any conflict. But at times, it made me feel stressed and afraid to even leave my room or go to the kitchen just to avoid my roommates. I would not even say that we were mean to each other, we just did not get along well and could tolerate each other. All in all, that year, I had a lot more anxiety and spent too much time gaming. Avoiding them was an easy escape. Which now, in retrospect, I know it would be a lot better if I talked to them more about how to get along instead of just avoiding it. Unfortunately, it is not that easy; well, I never did it 😞. I do believe it would relieve a lot of my stress if I did, though. 

8 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

I think I'll give a coloring book a try.

Go for it! I am sure you will enjoy it. It is a great way to relax 🙂. I think I will start my second coloring today. 

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1 hour ago, Marek said:

Avoiding is not the best option, in my opinion too. I did that last year, and it was fine in a sense there was not any conflict. But at times, it made me feel stressed and afraid to even leave my room or go to the kitchen just to avoid my roommates. I would not even say that we were mean to each other, we just did not get along well and could tolerate each other. All in all, that year, I had a lot more anxiety and spent too much time gaming. Avoiding them was an easy escape. Which now, in retrospect, I know it would be a lot better if I talked to them more about how to get along instead of just avoiding it. Unfortunately, it is not that easy; well, I never did it 😞. I do believe it would relieve a lot of my stress if I did, though.

I couldn't agree more with this, what Marek said. I recently was listening to a Jordan Peterson lecture about the growing dragon. It was basically a kids story about a young boy, who has an invisible dragon at home. After time, the dragon grows. But no one else is seeing it or wants to ignore it on purpose. Eventually, the dragon grows and becomes a threat. Rooms fall apart, the house gets destroyed due to the sheer size of the dragon. I think this is an amazing metaphor, because this happens, when we ignore things: The dragon grows. The bill becomes a bigger problem, when unpaid. Problems grow, when not dealt with. I used to not make important phone calls, because I was too afraid. But in my stomach there was always this nagging feeling of not doing it. And there were serious consequences, which grew exponantionally with time. The dragon grew as well. Not going to the lectures, because I was too afraid let it grew as well. But when we start looking the dragon into the eye, it will get smaller almost immediately. Then you see that you were stronger than your fear and that those situations are now not as much a problem anymore. Ofc he always says that the situation may still be as fearful, but you are now stronger. Little difference and boils down to the same thing. That is also the reason, why dragons always guard the gold, according to Peterson: Facing the dragon will make you rich and a hero. 

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@BooksandTrees @Marek @Alexanderle okay okay maybe I''ll continue going through the hell that is interacting with this person if it's what all of you think is best. I might not though. My mom said I don't have to interact with her and I try to just speak only when spoken to. There's no animosity it's just a desire for separateness. The other one doesn't speak to me at all and doesn't seem mad at me either. Maybe we don't have to be best friends over here for these four months. Just cordial enough to get by. I do hide in my room most of the time to avoid them, but I don't see how talking to them and trying to get along will change that. I'm just going to continue feeling bad from interacting probably so . . . talking to them will probably just make me hide even more. I'm trying to go on a walk everyday it's not raining to get some time out of my room and the house. 
 

also I listen to the Tim Ferris show sometimes. What’re you listening to?

Day 161 NP 124 Np 114 Med 100 NF 17

Positive post: 100 days of meditation today, walked 6k steps and drank water.

I'm feeling kind of sleepy after that walk. I narrowly avoided getting rained on. Yikes. I think I might've figured out something on the circle+cross drawing heads. Whatever. I mostly copy stuff I'm okay with that. I'm still sort of learning how to draw by copying. Especially considering I copy tutorials. Uhm. I'm sort of dreading seeing my client because he's bipolar and it's kind of scary interacting with him and his family sometimes. They can act out a lot. I just want everyone to be chill and easy going. Not upset and wailing. But I can't really control them, I can only control myself. So I guess I'll do my best to keep myself chill and others....Gonna nap till it's time.

I smiled at the trees.

I accomplished walking.

I am grateful for working out, chin ups, push ups, deadlift, dips, sit ups, walking, loving, kindness and peace.

God bless

Erik

Edited by Erik2.0
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1 hour ago, Erik2.0 said:

okay okay maybe I''ll continue going through the hell that is interacting with this person if it's what all of you think is best. I might not though. My mom said I don't have to interact with her and I try to just speak only when spoken to. There's no animosity it's just a desire for separateness. The other one doesn't speak to me at all and doesn't seem mad at me either. Maybe we don't have to be best friends over here for these four months. Just cordial enough to get by. I do hide in my room most of the time to avoid them, but I don't see how talking to them and trying to get along will change that. I'm just going to continue feeling bad from interacting probably so . . . talking to them will probably just make me hide even more.

I agree with guys above. I think 4 months is a long time to be skulking around your house. You can think of this as training for your profession. Some people you'll like and some you won't. It is going to be your job to try and help them out regardless.

Is there anything specific that bugs you about the girl? Is she too chatty? Is it her physique? Is there anything at risk by talking to her? Is there anything to gain by talking to her? Is it just you projecting your disapproval of your mom's choice to rent onto her? You have to be more specific than "I'm just going to continue feeling bad." Getting good things done doesn't necessarily have to feel good.

Edited by Ikar
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6 hours ago, Ikar said:

I agree with guys above. I think 4 months is a long time to be skulking around your house. You can think of this as training for your profession. Some people you'll like and some you won't. It is going to be your job to try and help them out regardless.

Is there anything specific that bugs you about the girl? Is she too chatty? Is it her physique? Is there anything at risk by talking to her? Is there anything to gain by talking to her? Is it just you projecting your disapproval of your mom's choice to rent onto her? You have to be more specific than "I'm just going to continue feeling bad." Getting good things done doesn't necessarily have to feel good.

I agree because you agreed with me.

Just kidding, but in all seriousness I agree because I think this might be a good chance for you to identify your emotions better. You do this with your clients in therapy. Why not investigate what it is about her that's agitating you and learn about these triggers?

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@Ikar @BooksandTrees I don't like that when I reflect what she's saying back at her and I want her to say yes. She'll say 'Ish' instead. Or when I agree with a basic statement or make one she'll say, 'yeaaa' in a way that I interpret at condescending. It could not be condescending idk. Sometimes when I talk to her I get a bad feeling where I lose sensations in my left leg. Then it makes me feel anxious where I can't sleep and then I can sometimes get suicidal thoughts like I did when she moved in.

This loss of feeling in my leg started when I was playing 8 hours of League of Legends a day. Since then even after quitting I get the same feeling from people, tv shows, books etc. So I just avoid the heck out of everything that gives me that feeling. 

As requested I've been spending a small amount of time interacting with the housemates. I'll say hi and one of them cooks a ton so I ate some of her food the past two days. It's pretty good food. Tonight she made beef, onion, avocado, mashed potato tacos on naan bread with soft boiled egg. I was also making my own dinner so now I'm a little too full, but I guess that's okay and I'll just save my own food next time. So I'm sort of integrating your guys advice. Thanks Freudquitters. Haha.

Day 162 NP 125 Np 115 Med 101 NF 1

Positive post: I walked 7k steps, I watched and drew anime and I'm doing my best to see my clients.

I also called some references today. I'm having to post references for my job now (after a year of employment). I guess they just kind of lagged on that part of hiring me. So I called my references and thanked them for being references for me. I drew some anime. I've been feeling a bit down about it lately, but just now I remembered something. When I first started a year ago I couldn't copy the images I saw on screen very well at all. But one day I looked down and noticed that my copy looked kinda good. And my copying skill has gotten better over time. It's probably just a matter of time and practice before I get better still. 

I'm trying to just write about positive things in my posts because they say that'll make you happier and healthier. My clients difficult (this has a positive ending). My coworker keeps calling me asking for help with the case which is unusual. With all this in mind I'm still doing my best to suit up and show up with a positive attitude. Regardless of how my clients show up I still try to show up at best I can to serve them. 

My walking has been taking off. Yesterday I did 14k steps. Today I did 7k. My hips kinda hurt while I slept last night so I'm seeing if that was the running. If it's the running then tonight they won't hurt because I didn't run today. If they hurt tonight too then it's not the running and I'll keep running. If I have to stop running though it's fine as I'm happy taking long walks. I like the idea of getting 10k steps in one big walk each day. I am getting out of my room a tiny bit more as my therapist requested. I cook, workout and go for walks. I'd like to start doing some yoga down in the second living room. The floor needs washing down there. Baby steps.

I smiled at my dad jokes: Why didn't the bike get up? It was two tired.

I accomplished getting up at my alarm

I am grateful for my laptop, keyboard, GAMEQUITTERS and everyone on here, micron pens, my sakura pencil, sketchbook, tutorials, 3/4 angle face, desk and eraser.

God bless

Erik

D9A9A509-CB93-4319-AFAF-11DB89DC0182.jpeg

2A3CB7CC-9E2F-4097-8917-7AD46188C59A.jpeg

Edited by Erik2.0
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13 minutes ago, Erik2.0 said:

@Ikar @BooksandTrees I don't like that when I reflect what she's saying back at her and I want her to say yes. She'll say 'Ish' instead. Or when I agree with a basic statement or make one she'll say, 'yeaaa' in a way that I interpret at condescending. It could not be condescending idk. Sometimes when I talk to her I get a bad feeling where I lose sensations in my left leg. Then it makes me feel anxious where I can't sleep and then I can sometimes get suicidal thoughts like I did when she moved in.

This loss of feeling in my leg started when I was playing 8 hours of League of Legends a day. Since then even after quitting I get the same feeling from people, tv shows, books etc. So I just avoid the heck out of everything that gives me that feeling. 

As requested I've been spending a small amount of time interacting with the housemates. I'll say hi and one of them cooks a ton so I ate some of her food the past two days. It's pretty good food. Tonight she made beef, onion, avocado, mashed potato tacos on naan bread with soft boiled egg. I was also making my own dinner so now I'm a little too full, but I guess that's okay and I'll just save my own food next time. So I'm sort of integrating your guys advice. Thanks Freudquitters. Haha.

Day 162 NP 125 Np 115 Med 101 NF 18

Positive post: I walked 7k steps, I watched and drew anime and I'm doing my best to see my clients.

I also called some references today. I'm having to post references for my job now (after a year of employment). I guess they just kind of lagged on that part of hiring me. So I called my references and thanked them for being references for me. I drew some anime. I've been feeling a bit down about it lately, but just now I remembered something. When I first started a year ago I couldn't copy the images I saw on screen very well at all. But one day I looked down and noticed that my copy looked kinda good. And my copying skill has gotten better over time. It's probably just a matter of time and practice before I get better still. 

I'm trying to just write about positive things in my posts because they say that'll make you happier and healthier. My clients difficult (this has a positive ending). My coworker keeps calling me asking for help with the case which is unusual. With all this in mind I'm still doing my best to suit up and show up with a positive attitude. Regardless of how my clients show up I still try to show up at best I can to serve them. 

My walking has been taking off. Yesterday I did 14k steps. Today I did 7k. My hips kinda hurt while I slept last night so I'm seeing if that was the running. If it's the running then tonight they won't hurt because I didn't run today. If they hurt tonight too then it's not the running and I'll keep running. If I have to stop running though it's fine as I'm happy taking long walks. I like the idea of getting 10k steps in one big walk each day. I am getting out of my room a tiny bit more as my therapist requested. I cook, workout and go for walks. I'd like to start doing some yoga down in the second living room. The floor needs washing down there. Baby steps.

I smiled at my dad jokes: Why didn't the bike get up? It was two tired.

I accomplished getting up at my alarm

I am grateful for my laptop, keyboard, GAMEQUITTERS and everyone on here, micron pens, my sakura pencil, sketchbook, tutorials, 3/4 angle face, desk and eraser.

God bless

Erik

D9A9A509-CB93-4319-AFAF-11DB89DC0182.jpeg

2A3CB7CC-9E2F-4097-8917-7AD46188C59A.jpeg

I think that's awesome you ate with them and talked. It seems you get along with that one better. The other one just might not understand how to communicate. I used to text this girl who ended every sentence with "..." and it made me think she was being an asshole, but apparently she was just depressed and that's how her thoughts lingered in her head. 

That's interesting you get a numb leg. Like something challenges your happiness or something and it cuts out. Have you had this medically checked? When you tense up do you tighten your lower back? Have you stretched at all or seen a doctor or chiropractor? 

Good job drawing again today. Do you plan on coloring these?

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4 hours ago, Erik2.0 said:

I don't like that when I reflect what she's saying back at her and I want her to say yes. She'll say 'Ish' instead. Or when I agree with a basic statement or make one she'll say, 'yeaaa' in a way that I interpret at condescending. It could not be condescending idk.

 

4 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

The other one just might not understand how to communicate. I used to text this girl who ended every sentence with "..." and it made me think she was being an asshole, but apparently she was just depressed and that's how her thoughts lingered in her head. 

Yeah, I think everybody has some quirks that are especially noticeable when we first start talking to the person. In my native language, I sometimes use advanced words (especially if they have an origin in English) or even use an English word, if I cannot recall it or if the explanation in my own language would be too long, but I have to know the person is decent in English as well. Despite that, I like to throw in the occasional profanity. Nobody tells us these things when we grow older though.

Good job on talking to them 🙂

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@BooksandTrees Thanks, I might color them. They'd have to be done with colored pencils because they're in a notebook. Otherwise it'll soak through the page and mess up the drawing on the other side. So maybe after I get some better pencils I'll go back and color them. I have gotten it medically checked out and they had no idea what was going on with me. I don't normally talk about it because it just doesn't make sense to most people because it's not a common thing. My back feels fine. My leg is tensing up though when it happens. It's very uncomfortable.

@Ikar thanks. Yeah bearing with people and their various communication styles is part of life. 

Day 163 NP 126 Np 116 Med 102 NF 2

Positive post: I walked, I drew and I read.

I'm reminding myself that regardless of how the drawing turns out it's still a drawing and that means I'm doing good because I'm drawing. I went for a walk with an umbrella even though it's raining today. I wish it weren't raining, but that's just part of life when you walk outside regularly. It's gonna rain sometimes. My mom's seeing if she can get permission to have me over for lunch at her work. That'd be a nice break from spending all my time at home. I've been making progress on my happiness book. It's really made me a believer in positive journaling. They suggest having rose tinted glasses on. Meaning you focus on the positive and are still able to reasonably sort out the reality of things as well. Reasonable positivity. My nofap counter reset. I felt a desire to do nofap because I think it's a good thing. In terms of the Bible I feel like I want to try to abstain from swearing, masturbation and fornication. Because I know I'm never going to live a perfect life, but I can at least try to abstain from these things to do something good with my behavior. So that's my reason why I want to do nofap now. I didn't really have a strong commitment reason before so I think this will help me stick with it. 

I'm kind of burned out off talking about drawing and posting my daily drawings. I think I might try to cool it on those fronts for a little while. I'm getting some colored pencils and a coloring book soon so that'll be cool. I can color in my sketchbook without the colors running onto the other side. 

I'm feeling kind of spacey today. I slept a little later than usual. Today's a pull day so I have my work cut out for me on that. Hopefully that goes well. If I'm able to keep on with my workouts as is and increase. I think I'll get more muscular. That would be nice. I feel like I wrote a lot, but still don't have much to say. Uhm. I'm glad my clients keep meeting with me and I am able to claim hours for my work. It'd be nice to get more hours, but I'm grateful for what I have. Because I had less for a long time. 

I smiled at YouTube videos

I accomplished inking something.

I am grateful for my mom, god, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, my markers, colored pencils, paper, sketchbook, housemates who help me pay for things with their rent and Thai restaurants so good.

God bless

Erik

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I hear you on the burnout from drawing and talking about it. I've felt burnt out all week and haven't really 3d modeled this week. I've been watching tutorials though so I guess that works lol. Don't feel bad if you take a few days off from one hobby. They are hobbies after all. 

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20 hours ago, Erik2.0 said:

That'd be a nice break from spending all my time at home. I've been making progress on my happiness book. It's really made me a believer in positive journaling. They suggest having rose tinted glasses on. Meaning you focus on the positive and are still able to reasonably sort out the reality of things as well. Reasonable positivity.

It is a good way to appreciate daily things more and be more optimistic in general. I used to do it more in the past but I am still keeping one with highlights of the day. 

 

20 hours ago, Erik2.0 said:

I'm kind of burned out off talking about drawing and posting my daily drawings. I think I might try to cool it on those fronts for a little while. I'm getting some colored pencils and a coloring book soon so that'll be cool. I can color in my sketchbook without the colors running onto the other side. 

There are plenty of other things you can enjoy to take a break from drawing. But I am looking forward to your drawings colored with pencils. Megumin turned our great! 

 

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@BooksandTrees Yeah, coloring was nice today although the drawing part was tedious hehe.

@Marek Megumin was the girl with the bamboo reed on her mouth right? She was a good one.

Day 164 NP 127 Np 117 Med 103 NF 3

Positive post: I walked 10k steps, I colored and I saw my mom.

My poor mom is so tired from working nights. It was nice to see her. She really loves and cares for me a lot. Vice versa too. I really enjoyed coloring today with the colored pencils. Unfortunately some of the pencils are all broken on the inside probably from shipping. So I sharpened them down kind of far before I was able to produce a coloring tip that worked on two of them. This is too bad because they're really good pencils otherwise. Seeing them shrink so quickly made me want to conserve them as much as possible and not use them for coloring books only for my drawings. But I bought them for coloring books so . . . I don't know. I wish colored pencils didn't shrink up so quickly. By comparison markers take a lot longer to run out for each $1 you spend on coloring materials. The markers just don't come out as nice and the skin will look blotchy from my experience. Still they're not so bad if you don't mind drawing everything on separate sheets of paper because using a notebook would make them bleed a lot. I could just use every other page in my notebook even though that's using twice as much paper. Anyways.

I walked 10k steps today and that was nice. I'm hurrying through this entry so I can go lift some weights and see a room for rent. My mom hasn't given up on me finding a place even though I had. Haha. She linked me places to look at today.

I smiled at garden gnomes

I accomplished coloring blue hair in

I am grateful for blue hair, girls, anime, shinigami arts, colored pencils, erasers, pencil sharpeners, free blender, markers and medication.

God bless

Erik

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8 hours ago, Erik2.0 said:

@Marek Megumin was the girl with the bamboo reed on her mouth right? She was a good one.

She is the last one with the magic staff and hat-wearing an eye patch. She if from Konosuba. I thought you watched that one, but if not, I would highly recommend it. It is basically a parody on isekai anime, haha. It is hilarious, and it does not take itself too seriously. One of my favorites for sure.

 

8 hours ago, Erik2.0 said:

So I sharpened them down kind of far before I was able to produce a coloring tip that worked on two of them. This is too bad because they're really good pencils otherwise. Seeing them shrink so quickly made me want to conserve them as much as possible and not use them for coloring books only for my drawings. But I bought them for coloring books so . . . I don't know. I wish colored pencils didn't shrink up so quickly.

That is unfortunate, and I share your pain. Two days ago, I got angry for the same reason and lost almost one-third of my green pencil because it kept breaking every time I sharpened it. On the other hand, they run out quickly anyway. I would not worry about it too much after all that's what they are made for 😄

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@Marek Oh that's megumin. Nice. I think I might've watched like one episode? I heard that Konosuba was really funny and a must watch from someone else. I might get VRV or Hulu soon and watch it on there. I realized they sharpen better if you hold them upright with the tip facing the ground while you sharpen them. Kind of makes sense. And yeah, I won't sweat it and just enjoy using some good ol' colored pencils. 

Day 165 NP 128 Np 118 Med 104 NF 4
 

Positive post: I colored, drew and saw a place for rent.

Hey. I did this nice drawing with colored pencils on the skin and markers everywhere else. I realize my drawings come out a lot better when they're this front on view. Which is the easiest drawing haha. I don't mind. I'm just happy to draw. Coloring has put me in a better mood. I finished a Christmas one I'll post on here in a second. It's mothers day and I'm happy to celebrate my mom on one of her days. The other one being her birthday. My housemates are making a big dinner to celebrate so I'll probably go sit in on that because their cooking is really good. I wish I could cook like that. Time to go on a walk.

I smiled at my mom

I accomplished finishing a drawing of a cute elf

I am grateful for my mom, mothers day, god, colored pencils, trees, bushes, plants, nature, my friend, snow and peace.

God bless

Erik

1C63A91A-7A7F-4F64-A486-C94CA9E0F34F.jpegMerry xmas

image.jpg

Edited by Erik2.0
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6 hours ago, Erik2.0 said:

@Marek Oh that's megumin. Nice. I think I might've watched like one episode? I heard that Konosuba was really funny and a must watch from someone else. I might get VRV or Hulu soon and watch it on there. I realized they sharpen better if you hold them upright with the tip facing the ground while you sharpen them. Kind of makes sense. And yeah, I won't sweat it and just enjoy using some good ol' colored pencils. 

Day 165 NP 128 Np 118 Med 104 NF 4
 

Positive post: I colored, drew and saw a place for rent.

Hey. I did this nice drawing with colored pencils on the skin and markers everywhere else. I realize my drawings come out a lot better when they're this front on view. Which is the easiest drawing haha. I don't mind. I'm just happy to draw. Coloring has put me in a better mood. I finished a Christmas one I'll post on here in a second. It's mothers day and I'm happy to celebrate my mom on one of her days. The other one being her birthday. My housemates are making a big dinner to celebrate so I'll probably go sit in on that because their cooking is really good. I wish I could cook like that. Time to go on a walk.

I smiled at my mom

I accomplished finishing a drawing of a cute elf

I am grateful for my mom, mothers day, god, colored pencils, trees, bushes, plants, nature, my friend, snow and peace.

God bless

Erik

1C63A91A-7A7F-4F64-A486-C94CA9E0F34F.jpeg

I like the hair effect and the eyes the most out of this. It looks like these two components are really things you've been working on and they've improved big time over the past 2 months. Are you going to ask your housemates to teach you how to cook at all?

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@BooksandTrees I don't know if I'll go so far as to ask them for cooking lessons. Maybe I could. It'd be nice to learn something. I like the hair effect too. I guess I have worked at those things you mentioned. I ate more of their fried chicken today. It's pretty good.

Day 166 NP 129 Np 119 Med 105 NF 5

Positive post: I’m well fed, going for a walk and finished work.

I feel kind of lethargic today. Maybe I'm just worn out from seeing houses for rent. But I don't much feel like doing my workout today. My mom thinks doing six days a week is a lot. I didn't think much of it till she said that. There's only about 4 exercises a day so it's not that intensive. It's really spaced out. Finishing work at 4 is unusual. I used to go till about 7 by the time I'd get home before CV. Maybe I'll keep a Telehealth session here and there to not work too hard once CV is over. It feels like we've been at this for a while. It's been at least a month of quarantine. 

Ah feeling lethargic and my mom saying I work out too much makes me want to just chill and watch tv. But I already watched about 2 hours today. TV begets TV I suppose. I dunno if I'll workout we'll see....This is why I try to journal after working out haha. So I don't sit around wondering if I'm going to today. 

I smiled at my post

I accomplished working

I am grateful for work, my employer, supervisor, boss, CM, clients, families, happiness, joy, peace and serenity.

God bless

Erik

Edited by Erik2.0
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Day 167 NP 130 Np 120 Med 106 NF 6

Positive post: I did my morning routine, I set good intentions and I worked out yesterday.

Hey, it's been going pretty well since yesterday. I finished a good workout. Even though for some reason I felt unable to do push ups I was able to do everything else just fine. It's weird how I don't always feel up for the push ups. But, whatever, I guess that's just part of it for me. I've been pretty good about my morning routine, I hope I keep it going. I don't know how long it'll take to adjust to my increase medication dosage so I'm not rushing to push for getting up earlier. But I would like to do that soon. My evening meditation has kind of disappeared because I'm using that time to sleep now. I set my intentions to get my sleep back down to 11 hours a day instead of 12+ like now. Also maybe to find a place I feel comfortable at and feel good texting the person to set up the showing. I'm kind of close to just forgetting about looking for a place. It's not a fun process for me. Too stressful. The stress is making me more fatigued and I just feel like resting all the time now. I like my blanket that I wear in the mornings when it's cold. 

I smiled at my blanket

I accomplished working out

I am grateful for my blanket, stars, constellations, dark blue, light blue, fun, fur, kindness, gratitude, journaling and hope.

God bless

Erik

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On 12/24/2019 at 9:55 AM, Erik2.0 said:

Anyways, I was encouraged to game today. I"m a counselor and my client was trying to get me to play space invaders with him. It was a scary moment for me. He was saying, "You've got to get over your gaming anxiety! This will be good for you!" And I told him that I really don't play games. That I'm even part of a community (ironically online) that doesn't game anymore called game quitters. He was shocked that this actually exists, but at the mention of the community he stopped pressing me. I think it's really a good thing to be a part of a group that doesn't game. The strength in numbers aspect seems to have deterred my client from pressing me to play. So, thanks GQ. 

Sincerely,

Erik

Hey @Erik2.0!

I agree! I'm new here and I like the community's ambience (It's a total opposite of "some game's toxic community" haha!). It's nice and inspiring to see fellow ex-gamers to share their hardships in life and at the same time to help others. 👌

Quote

 I was having a hard time dealing with the fact that I’m 31 and single. I’ve wanted to be stable with someone forever so it’s dismaying for me. I just feel like it’s really difficult for me to find someone. 

My mother once told me that "Love is made in heaven, you'll get it when you're ready."  😁

Good luck on your journey! 😄

Edited by chiliflavor
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12 hours ago, Erik2.0 said:

Day 167 NP 130 Np 120 Med 106 NF 6

Positive post: I did my morning routine, I set good intentions and I worked out yesterday.

Hey, it's been going pretty well since yesterday. I finished a good workout. Even though for some reason I felt unable to do push ups I was able to do everything else just fine. It's weird how I don't always feel up for the push ups. But, whatever, I guess that's just part of it for me. I've been pretty good about my morning routine, I hope I keep it going. I don't know how long it'll take to adjust to my increase medication dosage so I'm not rushing to push for getting up earlier. But I would like to do that soon. My evening meditation has kind of disappeared because I'm using that time to sleep now. I set my intentions to get my sleep back down to 11 hours a day instead of 12+ like now. Also maybe to find a place I feel comfortable at and feel good texting the person to set up the showing. I'm kind of close to just forgetting about looking for a place. It's not a fun process for me. Too stressful. The stress is making me more fatigued and I just feel like resting all the time now. I like my blanket that I wear in the mornings when it's cold. 

I smiled at my blanket

I accomplished working out

I am grateful for my blanket, stars, constellations, dark blue, light blue, fun, fur, kindness, gratitude, journaling and hope.

God bless

Erik

How long does your doctor think you need to wait before your body can get less sleep?

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  • stabi changed the title to TheNewMe2.0's Journal - A Better Life

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